[chachaheels]

I don't think you're worrying about the "wrong" things either, KittenB. There are no "wrong" things--this is a big deal--a surgery, a hormone treatment with very real repercussions, and consequences to the whole procedure that deserve attention. If you're worried, don't ignore your thoughts but follow them through. Ask questions, find out what other options for treatment exist (including alternative medical treatments) and see where your inquiries lead. If you feel that, after your questions have been answered, things will go well, then you've expended a little effort and you are secure in the steps you'll take. If you feel that the answers to your questions don't address your concerns adequately, then you will also know what to do. Either way, you are making a decision which results from being fully informed first. This will mean you make a decision and your mind will be at ease no matter what it is.

As for being active, I think Octi is better equipped to know how to keep fit despite the challenges you'll be presented with.

I know it can be really difficult and troubling...I'm sorry it's so taxing right now, but trust your instincts and follow through on them. It will work out.

[midgemcgrath]

wow, kitten, that is a little overwhelming. but like octinoxate said, it's just something you will have to do and there's no point in adding more stress to the situation.

plus, i'm sure there are some kinds of exercises you will be able to do, but you might just have to get some pointers from a physiotherapist or something on how to adapt your workout. for example, you might have to do a lot of your strength training lying down... don't give up though, ask lots of questions, and maybe there are things that you can do to make this easier and less disruptive...

best of luck and hugs!

[_octinoxate]

Oh, kitten, that sounds scary! I don't have any comfort to offer about the medical unknowns (eg, would this affect future pregnancy, etc.) since I don't have much science background. I don't think scar tissue itself stretches, but the rest of your skin has great ability to stretch so I would imagine it could compensate.

Is there anything you can take/do (say, herbs, or certain foods?) to help mitigate the menopause-y symptoms? That is, I know that women who are actually going through menopause can take things to help... would those also apply to you?

I don't think you're worrying about the "wrong" things. You worry about what you worry about and there's not much you can do about it-- and the last thing you need is to add another problem to the situation by judging yourself, you know?... I don't think it's shallow to be concerned about 2 months of being sedentary. I also think we worry about certain issues (say, gaining weight) because they're proxies for a lot of other concerns/fears we have.

As far as being sedentary goes, I can only add this: I have been sedentary for going on six months because of my health issues. And yeah, I've gained some weight. But in a way it's been a gift, b/c it's made me get ok with the idea of being fat (not that I'm necessarily "fat", but regardless, it was a fear to deal with) and finally put a stop to my borderline eating disorder tendencies and made me examine some body issues. Don't get me wrong, it still does fucking suck to lose muscles and fitness that you worked really hard for. Ohhh, yes, it does. But all I'm saying is that with the right attitude it becomes a chance for self-exploration instead of just a chance to get a little chubby. ...and also, man, two month is nothing. If you can get back to almost full activity level after two months, you'll be fine. And in the meantime, you can probably do other things... for instance, would you be able to do light weight-lifting?

(((((kitten))))) Good luck with all this.

[kittenb]

Not a great day. I am glad that I have a doctor that I like and trust. I cannot even imagine what I would be doing right now if I did not like her.

Yep, saw the gyne again. She has all the results of my MRI and it was nothing that I did not expect, except...

I started reading about the surgery. There are two types of incisions that can be made to remove a fibroid. One goes right above my pubic bone and is small. The other goes from the middle of my abdomen to my pelvic area. That is much bigger. It just seems that having a weak spot there...is just seems dangerous. What about when I have kids? Would scar tissue be able to stretch for a baby? My doctor prefers the small incision over my pubic bone. However, my fibroid may be too large for that. To shrink the fibroid, I am going to take a shot of something that will make it smaller.

And it will give me all of the symptoms of menopause. It will not cause menopause, but while I am on it, I will be subject to night sweats, hot flashes, all of it. The symptoms should abate once I am off the medicine.

Did I mention that I will miss 3-4 weeks of work and 2 months of gym time? I feel like I am worrying about all of the wrong things, like the fact that two months of sedentary behavior will turn me into a cow and I will loose all of the muscle developement that I have worked so hard for over the past year. And in the back of my mind lies the fear that something will go wrong and I will loose my uterus. It is a very VERY small risk but it scares me silly.

I am so glad that I don't have to have the surgery until January. I can put off worrying until then, or just keep doing research and I will be calmer just because of the knowledge.

[kittenb]

Some days are just not meant to be. Maybe you could consider it a mental-health day?

[midgemcgrath]

wow, that went well.

i went to work, discovered i'd left all my food at home, and fifteen mins. later, decided it just wasn't my day and went home.

now i'm at home feeling sorry for myself and trying to figure out what to do.

today officially sucks.

[midgemcgrath]

kitten- yeah, i actually disagree with a lot of what said bustie has to say about approaches to health... so sympathy is great! ;-)

of course, i have tried everything... i've been off wheat/gluten for almost a year now. as well as a million other things. hot packs are great, but not while i'm at work, cause i'm on my feet most of the time!

i've already been waiting for the GI appointment 2 months! they decided i wasn't critical enough or something. blah.

oh well, i have to drag myself off to work now, yipee...will chat more later.

[kittenb]

Hey midge. I am glad that you came back and that this thread might help. Chachaheels might have some actual answers for you, where as I come bearing only sympathy. You have probably tried everything, but if not, consider that you might have a wheat allergy. They seem to pop up with the weirdest symptoms. Does anything make it better? Hot packs? Hot tea? No caffenine? Anything?

I cannot belive that you have to wait that long for you appointment. What is it with doctors that they are always so booked up? Good luck and please let us know what the doc says.

As for me, I am meeting with my gyne this Wednesday to finally get some clarity on what my next step will be. Fingers crossed!

[midgemcgrath]

hi all, i haven't been around for a while (cause i was getting fed up with certain people on certain threads and needed a break), anyway this thread has since turned up and is so on topic! i am so fed up right now with my stomach and really my entire body. it just feels like i never feel good. i have ibs and food allergies and some other random problems, and i used to be okay for a couple months then bad for a couple weeks on and off, but i've just been feeling horrible for about three months straight. i want to cry and quit my job and curl into a ball.

i have my first appointment with a GI specialist at the end of November (how is it i've never seen one before, i've been sick since i was 7!), so maybe that will help somehow. i dunno. i'm thinking about trying to find a naturopath.

wah. someone make me feel better!

[kittenb]

Just a quick flyby, mamiwater, but ditto what they said! It's your body, you know what it needs.

[pherber]

Agreed.
People who judge situations, they haven't been in, are weird and dramatic, IMHO.



Welcome to the thread with added healing power mamiwater!

[_octinoxate]

((mamiwater))

I believe in trusting yourself. You know what you need, how you work, how you feel, what's most important to you and for you. Go with that, listen to your body and emotions tell you what you need.

I don't think it's weird or dramatic at all to take time off for this. Chronic pain (and chronic mental stress) changes everything. Also, I personally try not to do things when my heart isn't in it. Of course that's not always possible, sometimes we just have to suck it up and do it, but if you have the ability to take time off without screwing yourself over in the future, that's a great opportunity.

[mamiwater]

((pherber and all busties feeling badly))

I have chronic migraines with severe pain (redundant i know), and after a particularly terrible two weeks, I've decided that I need to take some time off from grad school to take charge of my physical (and mental at this point) health...everyone from my advisors, to the director, to my mom tells me to stick it out, you can do it etc, so I've agreed to pick it up again on Monday...they aren't being unreasonable or mean...but I'm anxious and frustrated that I am miserable, scared, and just plain worn out...Everyone is trying to be understanding and accomodating by giving me more leeway, allowances etc...my problem is that I don't want allowances...I want to take time to get myself straight and then come back at 100 percent...people seem to think I'm weird/dramatic for wanting to take a semester off, I'm the queen of stoicism, but the pain was so bad I tried to write up a will this past week, because I thought I'd have a stroke...can I get a second opinion, busties?

x posted under depression thread

[pherber]

Awww! Thanks all!!!!

(((((kitten)))))
and octi, no autoimmune disease!
margot, good biopsy result!!
I'm so happy for you!




*opens a bottle of champagne*

[_octinoxate]

Margot, great to hear about your biopsy results! Also: I don't think the bank metaphor is so very Hallmark, and I think it's pretty apt. Another I like is "you're either on the stretcher or you're carrying it."

Good news of my own:

1. All my blood tests came back normal--even the one that was abnormal previously-- so it looks like I don't have any scary autoimmune disease. The knees are still bad and need some serious work, but at least it's gonna be curable if all goes as planned.

2. Saw the dermatologist nurse practitioner today and she thinks that while it might be a good idea to get a biopsy of one or two of my moles, it's nothing precancerous at least for now, so I can just watch them and come back in 3 months.

Now I'm just keeping my fingers crossed about my biopsy results coming up on Wednesday...

[kittenb]

Just a flyby before I go to the gym.

Yay! Pherber! I am glad things are getting better for you.

The writing and other radom creativity is really helping. Thanks!

[margot]

Yeah, Pherber, your posts here are really eloquent and funny. That's great that you have e-mailed a load of people. And superb news about your thyroid.

I don't like long meaningful conversations with my friends, unless we're REALLY close, so sometimes I don't know if they're having a hard time.
I say this, because I really think it's important to spell stuff out to friends. If you need time out to concentrate on yourself, I think it's fine to say so. If someone is worth having as a friend, they'll understand.
Also, I think (most) people love to help out, if you're incapacitated. I was very sick, and caring for my daughter alone a lot, last year. Out of neccessity, I had to drop my pride, and ask for help. I was amazed how helpful a couple of my friends were. I didn't know them well at all, but they were real lifesavers!
I agree with Anoush, women do get caught up in doing as much as they can for other commitments, and neglecting themselves.
I like to think of it as a kind of bank. Sometimes you put help and care in, sometimes you just need to take it out. Ugh! -Did that sound a bit 'Hallmark'?

On a plus side, I had a biopsy result come back completely clear! -Another test not so clear, but lets concentrate on the good stuff, right?

How's the writing, kittenb?

x

[_octinoxate]

Pherber, I'm so happy to hear the good news! Yay!!

As far as communication skills go: I definitely agree that you have great written communication skills, and I would not have guessed from talking to you here that you have issues with social interaction. And man, especially since this is your second language-!! Impressive. Anyway, I'm so glad that email is working out for you! And it seems like that's a great way to solve things, because I feel like email is only going to become more and more common and important in the future.

Thanks for the input on my question/problem, pherber and anoush. I have more to say about your responses, but it's beddy-bed time for me right now. (I just wanted to post now to at least say congrats to pherber!)

[anoushh]

I do think that they would like to be supportive and probably don't know what precisely to do until asked. Or... I don't know, is it so bad to reserve my energies for myself?

Short answer for now--no, it most certainly is not bad. It can be a very important thing to listen to in yourself.

I'm not working at the moment due to the move, but I'm a social worker/therapist, and I know that if i don't pay attention to similar feelings in myself it can be very bad news. My feeling is that's true in most any helping profession (and many others, as well, not to mention life!)

I understand your other concerns, and I think you are wise to be thinking about those other components as well, but women in particular often have such a hard time taking their own needs seriously and giving them as much weight at they do the needs of others.

Wish I could be more eloquent. (See pregnancy thread or kvetch for details of my dental agonies if so desired). But even though I'm FAR from top form, I really wanted to say firmly that no, it is not so bad to reserve your energies for yourself sometimes. Everyone has times they need to do that, and learning when is important and valuable.

[pherber]

Yeah, great thread! It was kittens idea to start this thread in the first place, so thanks to you kitten!


Octi, I know your post was more directed at kitten, but I hope it's ok, if I add something.
Well, I'm not in a caring profession, I've just needed help for many years now, which made me feel a litttle guilty sometimes, because I can never give something in return.
I've been thinking about doing some voluntary work in a soup kitchen, or something like that. Having been homeless myself years ago, I would love to help homeless people.
This situation is obviously the complete opposite to yours.

I think you need to be selfish sometimes, and if you need help, you need help.
Who's on the receiving or giving end, has just to do with peoples recources, like I wouldn't be much help for anyone, if I just helped out of guilt, so I'll wait until things have settled a little before I'll consider that. (And- we help each other in our AS group)
As someone who just can't read social cues, I'd definetely say, it's a good thing, to tell people directly what you need.
Neurotypicals might be able to tell, if someone needs help, but most people just don't know what to do.
( my, I've been using the word "help" so often, it's almost satirical...)
I hope I wasn't stating the obvious too much, either.



I also have a some great progress, to report:
After so many weeks on meds, my thyroid hormone levels went back to normal for the first time, and we can slowly reduce the dosis now.
It's such a great feeling, to not hear my own hyperactive pulse throbbing in my chest, even when resting.
For the first time in two months I feel like I'm not on crack, being wide awake for 48 hours, or being so tired, but too scared to sleep, for fear of dying...
It also turned out, that I don't have graves disease, so I don't need to worry about my eyes.

I've also met my new custodian/caretaker, she's kind of a mixture of both, because we have a law, that states, she can do things in my name, but not without my permission.
Well, she is so unbelievably fabulous, kind and competent! I'm so relieved I could cry!

And finally, I've discovered my secret weapon (don't laugh):
Being so hopeless with communicating, I resorted to a lot of e-mailing.
This obvious idea came, after I posted in the "write a letter, one you'll never send" thread.
I realized, being so much better in writing than speaking, I should actually send that letter (and many more).
The great thing is, I got replies, people took me seriously, apologized, helped... etc, something that never happens, when I speak to them directly.
That so mucho boosted my confidence, it even increased my social skills in other fields.




Hugs to everyone here!