The Lounge Guidelines Help Search Members Calendar Blogs

Welcome Guest [ Log In | Register ] ]

155 Pages V   1 2 3 > »   
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Childfree by Choice!
angie_21
post May 26 2011, 10:38 AM
Post #1


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 662
From: Alberta


Had a great conversation with my mom yesterday - my aunt became a grandma 3 or 4 years ago, and adores to crap out of her new grandbabies. My mom was so frustrated, "she's boring to talk to now, all she ever does is tell stories about cute things they did or said. I know they're cute. I just don't care all that much." And all without once mentioning anything about how I haven't given her any grandbabies yet. Bwahahaha go mom!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Synergy
post May 22 2011, 12:58 PM
Post #2


BUSTie
**
Posts: 22
From: europe


I lived through 3 hours of being in the same room with 8 children all under the age of 3 years old. It was at a birthdayparty of a friend of mine.
Most of my friends are starting a family now. There is no hangin' out in bars anymore with them. Even birthdayparties are held at a more convenient time because of children.

Although i think it's fun to see how some parents interact with their children, it is the best contraceptive for me.


--------------------
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
anarch
post Apr 21 2011, 01:58 AM
Post #3


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 873


New song from Momus: We Don't Have To Make Children
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
auralpoison
post Mar 5 2011, 02:49 PM
Post #4


Big Fat Bitch
***
Posts: 4,932
From: Citizen of the world


A Mom Responds . . .

I have to admit, this does NOT make me feel better about babies being in bars. At all. I know parents need to get out, but takin' the wee one to the bar is just not cool. I should know. I looooved going to the bar/was annoyed by kids when I was three & I looooove going to the bar/am annoyed by kids now. It is obviously not a healthy precedent to set.

Also, there was some FB thing where it was all, "The first five friends on your profile will be your time during the zombie apocalypse". Three were new mommies, one was pregnant, & one had just had a miscarriage. WTF?


--------------------
"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
missladyj
post Feb 5 2011, 08:37 AM
Post #5


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,103
From: chi town


I have had to pass on babies showers before. You are not a bad friend at all A.P.

My girlfriends and I threw a baby shower for our dear friend. I made it clear that there would be NO STUPID BABY SHOWER GAMES and that I was bringing alcohol. We had a good time and had actual conversations with each other and there were no kids, not that they weren't invited this is just our first close friend who has chosen to reproduce. PLus I got to drink mimosas. Hurrah!


After the baby is born I went to visit them and they were frantic, exhausted new parents. I did not want to touch the baby and felt like I had to do something practical to help them out since they were so obviously overwhelmed and sleep deprived. I emptied the dishwasher for them and then got the fuck otta there. BEST BIRTH CONTROL EVAH!!


I am also sick of hearing how because I am smart and my husband is a musician that were are the people who should have babies .

I am sick of hearing that we should reproduce because I am Jewish and he is Black and our babies would be gorgeous.


WE ARE NOT REPRODUCING!!! period end of sentence. I am not having a baby because YOU think I should. and yes we would be great parents and have beautiful children you are right but FUCK OFF it's not happening.

end rant.

thank maude for this thread.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
auralpoison
post Feb 4 2011, 02:45 PM
Post #6


Big Fat Bitch
***
Posts: 4,932
From: Citizen of the world


I am a bad friend. I am totally skipping my friend's baby shower tomorrow. She's already got a gaggle of boys, this will be her first lady child. But. I. Cannot. Sit. In. A. Room. Full. Of. Mommies! And. Kids! I do NOT want to catch a case of the BABIES! Plus, it's at some photo place in the mall. I only go there to get my nails did.

My young cousin & his gf just had their baby last weekend. He can't even legally drink, but he's got a kid now. ::sighs::

An article from Bitch wondering why it's Selfish To Be Sans Crotchspawn.


--------------------
"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Synergy
post Feb 4 2011, 12:09 PM
Post #7


BUSTie
**
Posts: 22
From: europe


I know the feeling.
Most of my female friends have kids. The ones that don't have them yet do want to in the future.

The thing that still bothers me is one of my female friends complaining about her boss 'not understandin because she doesn't have children herself'. The thing is this:
She has 2 children, one and two year old. Her husband is not very supportive in taking care of the kids. They both have a fulltime job and now she took a new job in wich she has to travel more. The boss said for those two days every two weeks she can book a hotel there, but with a hubby like that, it is not an option according to her. He is not capable (read: willingly) to handle those two children in their eating and going to bed ritual, so she has to be home during that time of day. They even hire a babysitter whilst he is at home in order for her to go out occaisionnaly. WTF?
I just don't understand that she can't see that she can't have it all! If you want it all, fine, but stop complaining about it. If you're not happy with the situation, change someting.
Why is it so hard to think over your own actions and their outcomes.

I can ramble on and on about it.


--------------------
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
thepointybird
post Feb 4 2011, 10:47 AM
Post #8


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 252
From: calamityville


Sigh.... Yet another of my friends has bitten the dust. A male friend this time. He just called to tell me his girlfriend is pregnant. She's been pushing for it for a while and he finally gave in. This feels doubly weird for me because whilst almost all of my female friends now have kids, none of my close male friends has gone down this road, until now. I hope upon hope that the rest of my boys stay with me in CBC bliss.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
thepointybird
post Feb 4 2011, 10:47 AM
Post #9


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 252
From: calamityville


Sigh.... Yet another of my friends has bitten the dust. A male friend this time. He just called to tell me his girlfriend is pregnant. She's been pushing for it for a while and he finally gave in. This feels doubly weird for me because whilst almost all of my female friends now have kids, none of my close male friends has gone down this road, until now. I hope upon hope that the rest of my boys stay with me in CBC bliss.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
missjoy
post Oct 30 2010, 08:01 AM
Post #10


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 219


Thanks for the welcome back! That's awful about the photo - that's right - you're going to have kids to fill in a family photo... wtf?

I'm looking forward to Halloween tomorrow night - we get a lot of trick or treaters so it is quite fun. My only issue, I don't mind kids running across lawns, I understand that it is exciting to get to the next house. I would appreciate however if the parents didn't push strollers over my grass!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
missladyj
post Oct 26 2010, 07:21 PM
Post #11


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,103
From: chi town


Hey there missjoy! Nice to see you!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
anarch
post Oct 25 2010, 08:13 PM
Post #12


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 873


hey, nice to see you again too missjoy! Your dog pic always gives me a lift. Good luck with Joyboy. Honestly, you think you make things crystal clear, and you know you HAVE made them crystal clear, and yet sometimes they still avoid getting any clue whatsoever.

We just had some family portraits done. At one point the photographer told the mr to say, instead of "Cheese," "More kids!" Har har. Which started one in-law off (not MIL, she knows better): "Yeah, anarch, more kids! Just one kid! You've got to catch up with [pregnant cousin]!" And kept repeating it.

I'd have told her sharply that that's a shitty reason to bring a child into the world and her choice of words was having the opposite effect, but I was trying to maintain a smile for the damned photo so my only reaction was that my smile got rigid.

I'm still annoyed.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
missjoy
post Oct 23 2010, 09:40 PM
Post #13


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 219


Hello all!

Anarch - can I say how much I love that reply! As someone who is now in my early 30s I do get some comments here and there about babies and why I don't want them.

Interestingly - my current workplace is very CBC friendly. My immediate boss is childfree- I'm 99% sure it is by choice. She made a comment the other day when looking at a picture of a child that, "I like that and I don't even really like kids." One of my close coworkers is CBC and we sometimes discuss pressures from family and peers (she is younger than I) and another coworker (who is also young) is on the fence about kids.

On a not-so-great note. Joyboy has been making comments lately about having kids. Sigh. I'm wondering when I need to sit him down and make it very clear that if he decides he will not be happy without kids that we might need to think about our marrage. This should not have been a surprise to him.

Finally - it's great to see all of you ladies again!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
koffeewitch
post Oct 23 2010, 05:27 PM
Post #14


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 474
From: the Hundred Acre Woods


Somebody gave me a used wipe warmer once (I never even took it out of the box). Sometimes when you are dead exhausted and sleep deprived and you know that the ice cold wipes that you just pulled out of the diaper bag that you accidently left out in the cold car will piss your FINALLY SLEEPING baby off all to hell...

...but there is this nifty little solution. It's called a kitchen or bathroom sink. It has nice warm water to run over the cold wipes and doesn't even require being pugged in for 24-7.

But hey, marketing to pregnant women is fucking off the hook insane. FIrst time parents buy all this shit and never use or need it and give it away to people like me. Personally, I don't even bother with a baby crib, the little guys always sleep with me at night anyway.


--------------------
"The U.S. is the only nation on Earth to pass from barbarism into decadence without once passing through an era of civilization."
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
auralpoison
post Oct 23 2010, 01:02 PM
Post #15


Big Fat Bitch
***
Posts: 4,932
From: Citizen of the world


Wipe Warmer. Seriously. There are babies all over the world that are starving & shit, but American mommies need a goddamn wipe warmer. I think I'd rather put that $26 towards a college fund so the baby can use a cold wipe on my ass in the future.


--------------------
"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Persiflager
post Oct 22 2010, 08:08 AM
Post #16


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 721
From: Babylon


Umm, what? blink.gif

Your friend is insane! I have never heard of anyone using one of those.


--------------------
“Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.”
Morris Kline (mathematician, author) 1908-1992
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
auralpoison
post Oct 22 2010, 04:36 AM
Post #17


Big Fat Bitch
***
Posts: 4,932
From: Citizen of the world


My friend is entering her third trimester & has already become insufferable.

I am absolutely gobsmacked at how ridiculously indulgent & spoiled the western world is when it comes to infants. Above mentioned friend? Actually registered for a "baby wipe warmer". A BABY WIPE WARMER. SERIOUSLY. When I agreed with her husband that it seemed really fucking ridiculous, one of her friends advised that a cold wipe was "inhumane". INHUMANE. That is a word that I would apply to atrocities committed around the world, NOT to a baby having to suffer through a cold wipe.

I swear to god, I am so glad my vajayjay doesn't work.


--------------------
"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
anarch
post Oct 11 2010, 03:30 PM
Post #18


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 873


QUOTE(koffeewitch @ Oct 7 2010, 12:04 PM) *
I think many other women were sort of dragged kicking and screaming into motherhood in just this way; they just won't ever admit it.


Yup, makes sense to me. No zeal like the zeal of the people trying to bury the cognitive dissonance created by resentfully conforming to social norms.


I came in here to post this proposed reply to nosy people demanding to know when you're going to have kids:

As someone who also has no plans to have children, the response I keep in my back pocket is "I've always thought of children as something you need a reason TO have, not a reason NOT to have."
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
koffeewitch
post Oct 7 2010, 02:04 PM
Post #19


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 474
From: the Hundred Acre Woods


I'd like to get you alls opinion on this theory I have...it's my theory about those people who are always telling you that you'll "change your mind" and want kids some day.

In my experience, the truth works somthing like this. A woman is living her free, independent life and enjoying it. Now, imagine this woman were to find herself suddenly pregnant and in a situation in which she is not able to terminate the pregnancy within the first trimester (and within legal abortion time limits).

Naturally, she feels all manner of terror-denial-panic-angst-rage-depression, etc. She may feel conflicting feelings of being the goddess-giver-of-life and completely helpless as her body fuels another life form without her consent. And she is hormonal and filled with such rage she threatens to slit the throat of the baby as soon as it is born (or maybe it's just me that said things like that during my first pregnancy). But time and her budding pregnancy continue...

...and then, because we humans are animals with 3.3 million+ years of mammalian evolution behind us...her body begins to release more hormones. Suddenly, for the first time she begins to notice babies. She even notices that some babies appear more attractive than others (who knew??) She begins to cope with the situation because the purpose of oxytocin, progesterone and prolactin is there to help her cope...and as it was put in The Mists of Avalon, "the Goddess is kind...She will put love in your heart for the child". (But mind you, this stage only happens MUCH later in pregnancy, like 6-9 months). Then, once the baby is born and the mother loves it...she wants to deny all her initial feelings of rage, resentment, etc. So, instead of telling other women the TRUTH (which is that once you are already pregnant your body will help you deal with it eventually), she turns it into something else. She wants to believe she wanted her baby all along and she planned for it, etc. And the next time she is pregnant (if there is a next time) she looks forward to the new baby with longing from the beginning. And her initial panic-rage-fury-resentment over her first pregnancy is even more uncomfortable for her and something she will never admit (unless she is a Bustie mom and knows that she has a circle of sisters who will not be shocked by her real feelings).

So, that is why mothers tell you that YOU will want kids "someday" and that you will change your mind...they are only trying to convince themselves that it was that way for them. Don't get me wrong...we mamas don't love our children any less just because we resented them before they were born. I even choose to homeschool my kids because I love spending time with them, watching them learn and discover. But I think many other women were sort of dragged kicking and screaming into motherhood in just this way; they just won't ever admit it. Like I said, this is only my personal little theory. What do you guys think?


--------------------
"The U.S. is the only nation on Earth to pass from barbarism into decadence without once passing through an era of civilization."
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
sybarite
post Sep 25 2010, 07:16 AM
Post #20


it's cards on the table time
***
Posts: 1,993


I have at least 2 male friends who have always wanted kids and who each set out to establish a family. When I first met them, they were each single and looking; now over 10 years later they're both married and parents, and delighted with their lives.

Then again I remain convinced that men are under far less pressure to actually parent than women--at times, they're actually dissuaded by popular culture from participating fully IMO, which is another unfair discrepancy.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

155 Pages V   1 2 3 > » 
Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 

Lo-Fi Version Time is now: August 1, 2014 - 09:37 PM