[ambercherry]

oh, such good points about anorexia so not being about a vanity thing. and good point, maddy, about how some people "learn" to have an eating disorder. i think with the case of nicole ritchie (and i totally don't know enough about her situation, so this is all just guesswork on my part, and my opinion) - with all the critics calling her "fat" or whatever, she might have felt the pressure to lose weight...and then there's the whole control issue, and then maybe it just spiralled and she's unaware of how thin she is. i don't know.
you're right also, that a lot of people with disordered eating have a disordered sense of how they look - they might be rail thin and think they look fat. i think it's body dismorphic disorder?

okay...i can't form well thought out sentences...but i am happy to see this thread active once again!

[maddy29]

good point anna- like with nicole ritchie-they are all making fun of her for looking so sickly thin, but it's not like she sees herself that way! that's the whole point, is the anorexic person doesn't realize how sickly they are/look.

although i gotta say, a lot of girls/women "learn" how to have an eating disorder and work quite hard at it.

[anna k]

I hate how anorexia is bandied about like it's something one willfully becomes. Anorexia is a disease, and not just vanity-based.

[luniluna75]

Hi Girlz-

I agree with you, amber, regarding the skinny comments. It seems there are strong elements of contempt (and disgust) that accompany such comments. In my experience, such comments are used in a snarky way 95% of the time. I'm tired of it. We are all beautiful in our own distinct way and I can't believe people feel they have the right to blatently insult someone else (especially a complete stranger).

Although a good majority of nastiness used to be directed at bigger girls, it has come full circle to include just about everyone who swings either side of average. So-called "skinny" girls take an awful lot of flak these days, though

And Katie, maybe I should move to NY. Sometimes I feel like a complete anomaly around here (regarding the body size issue) Region definately has a lot to do with it.

Peace,

Luni (Formerly Lunasol75) (I hope the new nick lessens confusion around here)

[maddy29]

yeah amber, that sounds sooo frustrating, i can't believe the things people feels it is ok to say.

as a big amazon woman i've always been so jealous of little tiny girls/women. now i think i'm past that, but i still am just kind of amazed at how tiny a person can be. not just short or how skinny, but just petiteness. i look at my own frame and it's just hard to believe that some people are so tiny! ok, i'm not saying this well at all. maybe it's just a weird tall-girl fascination with little women.

go to japan for tiny clothes-when i went a lot of the stores didn't have anything over a size 4!!!!!! it was amazing. i swear they had like, negative sizes or something.

[ambercherry]

anonymoose, those comments have come my way, too. and katie, i understand what you're saying about the intent, but i also think there can be an element of disgust, too, when the "skinny" comments are uttered. or...maybe it's disgust to mask other emotions. i don't know. whatever it is, people seem to think it's okay to make comments about someone's weight when that person is thin.

the worst comment someone ever made to me (in front of a whole bunch of coworkers) was "are you anorexic?" with the most disgusted look on her face. i was standing with people who i admired and respected (and unfortunately, she was one of them, but not after that comment) and was completely mortified. i am nor never was anorexic. stressed the hell out, maybe. but not anorexic.

i feel for someone like nicole richie with respect to the weight issue. i think someone brought this point up in another thread, but wasn't she constantly criticised because she was "overweight" and "fat" (i hate that term, and skinny, too) all the time? and then she goes and loses a bunch of weight and is now being criticised for that, too. i mean, granted, she does look too thin in some photos i've seen of her. it's a never-ending issue for some people - esp those in the media.

[katiebelle2882]

well the difference between having someone ask what size you are when you are skinny is out of awe and jealousy where as someone asking a fat person that is out of disgust. still going farther than is ok in my mind in terms of personal space (not to mention rude). however, the intent is ENTIRELY different.

you guys should move to nyc, you would be the norm here. or at least the desired norm. clothes here are SO small. everywhere in the northweast they are i think. i do think people in the midwest are not only taller, but definitely in worse health as well in terms of weight.

[anonymoose96]

I live in Ohio (again maybe it's just a midwest thing) but for the first month at my new job I had complete strangers going on at the top of their lungs in an otherwise quiet building about how skinny I am , "OMG what size do you wear?" etc. They wouldn't dream of doing that if I was overweight. I don't understand how they can not get that it's still rude even if the person is skinny.

I also agree with the size change in clothes. I only buy clothes when they're cheap so I was completely psyched when walmart and kmart started carrying extra small recently. I thought I 'd be able to find things that fit more often. I tried several items on and realized that they were the same size as the small used to be... I guess that means the size small is now actually a medium.... people wonder how I "can be so skinny but still hate clothes shopping." heck, maybe I should get rich, move to California, and shop where all the models and movie stars do (haha right.)

[maddy29]

re: the change in sizes over the years-it's definitely true-it's vanity sizing. A lot of people have said that they used to be a bigger size in clothes, and now they are like a 2, when they used to be a 6....

I think it really depends on the store-I'm 5'10 and I can NEVER wear a medium, like, the thought of that is insane to me-BUT, at target I can wear a lot of their medium shirts-very random.

For celebrities, it's suuuuch a thin line of what is ok. Lindsay lohan etc get shit when they are clearly not eating, but if they gain a TAD "too much" they are called fat. I mean, no wonder so many of them don't eat and have major food issues!

[pepper]

5'7" 120lb. though recently i put on 4 pounds, wow! on my frame it made a huge difference.
i shop all over the place and lots of second-hand thrown in so i have clothes from all over. it's weird, the size range in my closet.

[lunasol75]

I agree with you 100%. I don't think I'm really all that small. I am very athletic and very muscular, so I think that is where my most of my weight comes from and I do have a lean build ( think ballet dancer or long distance runner) but there is no way I should be wearing an extra small. There are girls way smaller than me. How do they find clothes?

I get razzed a bunch. And like you said, 5'7", 135 is not that small. People around here are just super big and super buff. There are a lot of people from the south that have migrated here, as well. That could have something to do with it, as I have noticed southern folks tend to be bigger and all about the food.

I grew up in the midwest (ohio) and that was HELL! I caught shit all the time, about being "too skinny", even from my own family.

I also think you made a good point about weight distribution. I have a superhugebooty and no boobs. All my weight goes straight to the ass.

[katiebelle2882]

5'7 135 isnt small at all. when i was that weight (i am 5'6 though) i was a medium, of course, i always had a big chest. i would have hardly called myself small at that weight considering i was a size 10 or so. really, i was just in good shape from swimming, but i was far from small. i cant believe someone would target you for what sounds like a very healthy weight.

nicole ritchie, at 5 '3 and 95 pounds is small. 5 6 135 not so much. man i would give anything to be that weight again. could be that it is a local issue. since people in the midwest are generally bigger and more out of shape, maybe thats why?

i feel sympathy for anyone who is the target of nasty comments, concerning weight or anything else.

what is really interesting here is how weight is disributed on different people as well since i was a size 10 and a medium and you are what i am guessing is a much smaller size and an xtra small.

[lunasol75]

Hey pepper-

Its alright. I understand. You make a lot of good points. (and maybe I will change my name to Luna). Thanks for the suggestion.

Hmmm.... I wonder if this if the size thing is just a local/Denver phenom. Its interesting to know how things work where you live. Around here, I always have to find the absolute smallest size, usually an extra small, in everything (and I'm 5'7, 135ish) That is just crazy. Do you buy your clothes at one or two specific places?

[pepper]

sorry luna, we're a bit touchy about potential impersonaters here 'cause of a recent episode of that. your name is just too close to another long time poster here to not cause some confusion. there isn't anyone called luna though, i don't think there is anyhow, so that's a possibility...

aside from that, welcome to the forum and the skinny girl thread. this can be a difficult topic to discuss, no one wants to feel sympathy for the skinny chick (i hate that word, skinny, too). but here we are, i get harrassed about my weight way more openly than i think i would if i were a few pounds over the norm but, hey, no one seems to think it's a biggie to target me for my body shape. it hurts just the same though, it's nasty to be singled out for that sort of negative attention no matter what side of the scale you're on. the total strangers telling me to "eat something!" take the cake though. it's all i can do not the give some smacks all 'round sometimes.
i don't agree about the fashion industry catering to the bigger bodied though. these days when i pick out something in the shop more often than not i fit into a large which is totally ridiculous. i am an extra small, small maybe, not a LARGE. if i'm a large what the hell fits into a size small? a ten year old? wtf.

[anna k]

I get confused by stories in the media of many Americans being overweight or fat, when there are so many Americans who are thin or small-boned or athletic. It's very disproportionate.

I hate the bashing of women who are thin or small-boned by women who are jealous or picky. The women in my family have ranged from being thin/wiry to being full-chested and shapely. I fall into the latter, while my mom was always thin. Genetics is a funny thing when I end up resembling some distant relative more than my own mother.

[katiebelle2882]

i didnt call her an asshole, i said people who make comments about others weight, whether they are fat or skinny (unless they are truly concerned about health) are assholes. i dont think shes a troll necessarily.

nicole richie and beckham get shit bc they ARE too skinny and everyone knows no one naturally looks like that (esp since they had previously looked healthier so clearly its not their ideal weight) unless they are starving themselves. its obvious being fat is far more of a societal no no then being skinny since you dont see as many people TRYING to put on weight, no instead you see most girls and women trying to lose it.

i agree no one can make the media happy, but lets face it, you get more shit for being fat then you do being thin.

[bunnyb]

lunasol75, I've posted a reply to your introduction in the newbie thread.

eta: *deep breath* what is with the animosity? noone knows that lunasol75 is a troll in sheep's clothing, could you not have given her the benefit of the doubt for a post? there was no need to be so hostile and she certainly did not deserve to be called an asshole, noone on this board does, can't we treat each other with respect?

As for her points, I think there is good discussion to be had there. As a UK size 16 I can still see that "skinny" girls get shit from the media too - nicole richie, victoria beckham, lynsey lohan anyone? they are attacked for being too thin, for looking anorexic, for being poor role models for impressionable girls but if, like Britney, a celebrity puts on some weight they are slammed for not taking care of themselves and letting themselves go. Women in the media cannot win, the body image of woman is constantly receiving blows.

[lunasol75]

Wow, what's with all the attitude?

First of all. I never claimed to be Lunasol. My name is Lunasol75. Two very different folks. She was here before me, I'm sure, but there is no impersonation intended. Boy, you are some angry women.

I have the right to my beliefs, observations, and opinions. You have that same right. I was not trying to insult anyone (or be an asshole). I'm sorry if my post was misunderstood. This is how things are. The girls in my town are bigger. And by "bigger", I don't mean fat. I have a good friend who is a triathlete. She weighs 165 and looks damn good but she is not fat by any definition of the word.

These are the facts. American women are getting larger. I believe the media and the fashion industry are catering to this fact, as a lot of women have a problem buying larger sizes. So, if we make the sizes larger, everyone is happy. Do you understand now?

Again, sorry if I came across as an asshole. It was totally unitentional. I don't, however, appreciate the rampant sarcasm and being called "dumb" for not knowing how to do something technical in this forum.

Stop being so defensive!

[katiebelle2882]

i cant believe i just saw someone write "the fashion industry is catering towards bigger is better" and "i need to be 165 to be accepted". um, what? are you kidding? i know people who are too skinny get flack and i know people who are too fat get flack but i am pretty sure the skinny people are the ones most represented in the media, and CERTAINLY the fashion industry doesnt cater to bigger women NOR is 165 acceptable in this society bc most people who weigh that much are called FAT by our standards. i dont know, i think thats complete BS right there. also, there is already a lunasol here what is that word about?

i noticed that as well wombat. is someone impersonating her just like impersonating pepper?

i dont think anyone should have rude comments directed at them bc of their weight. its one thing to be concerned and ask, its another to be an asshole.

[wombat]

You are NOT the real Lunasol.

Crikey!