[yuefie]

Hey Damona, I was coming (no pun intended ) in here to describe pretty much the same thing!

I've been having the most intense and best sex of my life the past six months (new relationship) and now I've begun squirting. I've never at any point in my life required any lube other than my own, which is beyond plentiful, and before this was more of what I would call a slight gusher. But lately it's been craaazy. Yeah, soaked us both and the bed. Man, I've been having to work my ass off at keeping the laundry done! And I also have been involuntarily tightening up after having an orgasm. I've even been asked to "please release the kung-fu grip" And the other day my orgasm was so intense that I saw stars (no joke, I saw flashes of light like I had a frikkin' migraine!) and nearly passed out.

[LoveMyPugs]

In the meantime, I'm crawling up the walls like I just got out of prison or something! It's ridiculous.

awww...the camping sounds like a nice idea for a first time.

Mr. Pug's and my first time was on my friend's mom's waterbed. we were both virgins and having sex on a waterbed isn't easy so it was ackward.

[sareybelle]

sareybelle - i think having sex for the first time with a new partner is a totally personal thing. i don't think anyone here can give you a specific number of days, weeks or months. mr. pug and i were so young when we first had sex that we actually waited five months before doing it for the first time. we were also virgins. if i met him tomorrow being 26 and the woman i am today i might not even wait a month. i mean i don't think i would sleep with someone until i felt absolutely sure in my own mind and heart that i was ready. that's just me.

Thanks, you are right that everyone's time table is different... the weird thing is, neither of us are kids. He's 37, I'm 31. I think that we both have this weird sense that "this is it" and so we're a little gun shy... for him, because as he put it, "I've messed these things up before," and for me, because I feel like we're going to be together for a long time, probably for good, and that... well I guess I'm just putting it off for some dumb sentimental purposes.

I have several married friends who slept with each other the first time they met, and I think that's awesome. But for me and him, I just have this weird feeling that this is going to be THE ONE, and I think he does too, and so we're just taking it really slow. That's different for me, but it's nice.

We are not completely chaste by the way, and the [limited] sexy times we've had have been GREAT. We're going camping in WV this weekend and we already talked about how that might be nice time to go all the way or whatever.

In the meantime, I'm crawling up the walls like I just got out of prison or something! It's ridiculous.

[damona]

i had such crazy intense sex this weekend that i squirted so much i soaked the bed. literally. it was like lake damona. he was soaked, i was soaked... it was just wild. i have never squirted that much, ever. just a random thought, is there a "normal" amount of that fluid? is there even a name for that fluid? i've never seen someone else do it, not even in a porn, i've only read descriptions of it online.

i also came so hard that i actually tightened up to the point that i was pushing him out of me. it was kind of cool. he thought he was doing something wrong tho, cuz i wouldn't "let him back in". it wasn't a conscious thing, it was just what my body was doing! something else i've never had happen.

zoya, i've had that happen. it usually goes away in a few days.

[LoveMyPugs]

zoya - i've never broke a blood vessel IN my eye. i've gotten these tiny red dots around my eyes sort of under my eyes after a intense round with Mr. Pugs. Usually happens if I'm trying to squirt. nothing a little coverup can't fix. but in your case it wouldn't work cause it's in the eye. TAKE IT EASY GIRL!! DAMN!!

sareybelle - i think having sex for the first time with a new partner is a totally personal thing. i don't think anyone here can give you a specific number of days, weeks or months. mr. pug and i were so young when we first had sex that we actually waited five months before doing it for the first time. we were also virgins. if i met him tomorrow being 26 and the woman i am today i might not even wait a month. i mean i don't think i would sleep with someone until i felt absolutely sure in my own mind and heart that i was ready. that's just me.

[auralpoison]

um, it's totally possible to pop a vessel during shagging. Hurl hard enough & you'll give yourself petechia.

[dayglowpink]

zoya- yes, that has happened to me. Anything that involves a lot of straining +/or tension could rupture a small blood vessel. I wouldn't worry about unless it persists or hurts or something like that.

[girltrouble]

stron, i've not heard of anything like what you are talking about, but have you tried masterbating? that should relieve some of your tension. and if you are in your forties, you had to have talked to a doctor about this, what did they say?

have you read the book nymphomania a history? it completely debunks the term and might make you feel a bit better.
nymphomania: a history

in the mean time, check out this very interesting interview with the author. salon.com groneman interview

[auralpoison]

Drunk guys will often go for ages (in my experience) because there's little sensation.

I believe the technical term for this is "whisky dick".

[strongirl]

OK, I'm new to this thread so forgive me it it's been covered or if I'm in the wrong place but I'd like to know if anyone else experiences this.

If I don't get sex - in the form of unprotected heterosexual intercourse with multiple orgasms for me - on a regular basis, I feel sick. By regular, I mean I need it 3-10 times a week to feel well. If I go over a week without sex, I start to be unwell. By 2 weeks, I'm hurting. At one month (only experienced this a couple of times) it's awful and the one time in my life that I went 3 months I was seriously depressed to the point of being suicidal.

My physical symptoms start with a weird headache that is like a pressure building in the top of my skull and go on to include fatigue, muscle weakness/soreness, weight gain and fluid retention, nausea, irregular periods, and irregular heartbeat. My psychological symptoms start with tension, anxiety, and general bitchiness and move into depression. I have difficulty perceiving what is real and what is not - I think things are problematic or dire when they are fine. I am normally not a depressive person at all, very optimistic, energetic and upbeat.

It seems physical and chemical rather than just psychological. It is actually helped by physical contact with male sweat - even snuggling my teenage son when he hasn't bathed seems to help. I have read before about a study in which swabbing male sweat on the upper lips of a control group of women helped to regulate their periods. This makes perfect sense to me and matches my own experience.

This is a cause of concern to me on many levels, not the least of which I am currently trying to maintain a monogamous relationship during a period of separation. Plus my lover worries that he may not be able to maintain our sex life as he ages (we're in our late forties) and while he wants me to be monogamous, he also wants me to be well.

Does anyone else experience this? Am I crazy? I'm sure I would have been diagnosed as a "nymphomaniac" or some similar label if I'd seen a psychiatrist during the times when women were assumed to be less sexual than men. I am a high functioning, happy, productive person...as long as I'm getting laid. Anyone? Help?

[mornington]

new25 - queefing is normal. very, very normal. Learn to laugh at it. Honestly, you need to focus more on what you find pleasurable about sex - masturbation is a good place to start - as if you're enjoying yourself, you partner is more likely to enjoy themselves. Also, vaginas are meant to stretch, so frankly, unless you've pushed a watermelon or eighteen through there on a daily basis, you're not too big. "tight" is just a myth perpetrated my fucking stupid porn.

sareybelle - every guy has been different; it's more a matter of when you feel comfortable (and in my case, horny) enough to go for it. I wouldn't say there's ever been one defining moment.

[sareybelle]

On giving up the goods in general-

How do you know when it's the right time to get it on with a new partner? I am not looking for catch all advice, just would like to hear what you ladies think about too much, too soon, or too little, too late in the context of your own experiences. Obviously everyone is different, but was there any one moment when you thought, "okay, now we're ready."

Danke!

[dolor]

Zoya,

Well, sex is highly vascular... I've had some scary "vascular events" during sex... but my first guess would be that this might have happened from striking your eye on some other object (your partner?) during all the wild "pounding." I assume that there are no other symptoms than what you see there, right? No headaches? Distorted vision? Those are serious warnings. Hopefully it has subsided by now. If not, you might want to get it looked at.

[zoya]

this is totally off the current topic, and I'm not sure if it should go here or in the general health thread - but it's kinda sex related, so I'll start here.

Is it possible to break a blood vessel in the eye during sex? I had crazy amounts of portions friday night into Saturday afternoon (see portions thread if you wanna know) and it was full on pounding, etc. I noticed on Saturday afternoon, the inside corner of my eye was really red and it looked like a bunch of little blood vessels - kinda like when your eye is bloodshot, only just on the inner corner. Well now it's kinda moving toward the iris. it's really weird. It doesn't itch or anything (I've had pink eye and all sorts of other eye crap, so I'm pretty well versed in that stuff) All I can think of is that all the um... straining? or whatever it is that goes on during sex could have somehow burst a blood vessel (if that's even what it is) in my eye....?

am I crazy?

[ananke]

Also - if every guy you've ever been with is drunk and/or complaining, you really haven't got a good frame of reference. Drunk guys will often go for ages (in my experience) because there's little sensation. Same with condoms. And coming sooner isn't just about tightness, it's about the act.

If you're laying back worrying about how tight you are, while he's drunkenly pounding away, no-one is really gonna have fun. And 'only' a few guys mentioning it sounds like you're paying too much attention to the cookie-cutter aspect of porn. Not all men will wax lyrical about your bits. The issue to be resolved isn't your tightness, or lack thereof, but your relationship with your body. Painful sex isn't normal (or more accurately, shouldn't be an every time occurence). The fact that not everyone you've slept with hasn't remarked on your tightness is not abnormal, or a sign you aren't 'tight' - it's part of having sex with different people. Some will remark on it, not all.

and in any case, tightness is over-rated. None of my partners has really commented either way - it's all been about the sensations and the general act. Making sex all about tight holes is just...ick...not to mention no fun because tight increases the chances of abrasion and pain (in my experience)

[auralpoison]

Thanks---all true. I hate to sound like some kind of doormat, but I still feel that there is an issue here that needs to be resolved. I'm not going to ask a guy if he thinks that I'm "tight," or not, which I guess is the reason why I'm posting an an anonymous forum. I've even mentioned it to my gynecologist, and he just kind of freaked out and said that I look "normal" (maybe because I asked him "what's your opinion?", ha). Anyway, any insight, medical or anecdotal or otherwise, would be appreciated. Thanks.

Stargazer is right as per usual.

Dude. Your pussy is fine. The issue that needs to be resolved is purely psychological: you're being pussy paranoid. It doesn't sound like you're uncomfortable with the rest of your body, so where did you come up with your pussy being too loose? If a guy wants to fuck you, he wants to fuck you. He's happy to be there, so there's no real reason to be wigging about it.

And queefing? Totally normal. Fucking forces air into the vagina & there you go. I'm sure I've queefed with every partner I've ever had. Particularly if he pulls all the way out. If you're getting static about it, it's because the guy knows nothing about the female anatomy & sex.

It's been a theme around here lately to focus on your pleasure. I mean, you pretty much know he's going to get off, but what about YOU? You need to stop worrying about whether you cunt is tight enough & worry more about finding out what gets you off.

This is one of those things that pisses me off about pornography. These plastic uber-babes all having cookie cutter, male approved cooches. Cunts are like snowflakes, every one is different & beautiful. Oh, & a lot of them melt when they're on a tongue.

And I wasn't trying to be a bitch about posting the same thing all over the place. It would just be easier for everybody if you kept it to just one thread. It upsets continuity if the same conversation is goin' on everywhere.

[new25]

ok. thanks for the clarification.

first off, you are thinking too much which can tense up the vaginal muscles. and if you are having sex when drunk then the chances of either of you climaxing can be drastically decreased. the condoms excuse is BS. in the end, it sounds like you are not in touch with what you find pleasurable with sex. while it is good to want to know if your partner feels good, it sounds like you are too focused on pleasing the men you sleep with. it sounds like you are still learning about yourself sexually.

now, go to the newbie thread so your posts won't be ignored....

PS try to keep your responses to single posts. it seems like people are not fans of the double post here...

Thanks---all true. I hate to sound like some kind of doormat, but I still feel that there is an issue here that needs to be resolved. I'm not going to ask a guy if he thinks that I'm "tight," or not, which I guess is the reason why I'm posting an an anonymous forum. I've even mentioned it to my gynecologist, and he just kind of freaked out and said that I look "normal" (maybe because I asked him "what's your opinion?", ha). Anyway, any insight, medical or anecdotal or otherwise, would be appreciated. Thanks.

[stargazer]

ok. thanks for the clarification.

first off, you are thinking too much which can tense up the vaginal muscles. and if you are having sex when drunk then the chances of either of you climaxing can be drastically decreased. the condoms excuse is BS. in the end, it sounds like you are not in touch with what you find pleasurable with sex. while it is good to want to know if your partner feels good, it sounds like you are too focused on pleasing the men you sleep with. it sounds like you are still learning about yourself sexually.

now, go to the newbie thread so your posts won't be ignored....

PS try to keep your responses to single posts. it seems like people are not fans of the double post here...

[new25]

new25, um, first welcome to the lounge. i hope you posted in the newbie thread. we get alot of trolls here. so please check in. second, you said alot in your post. i didn't really see your question. but, i'm dumb like that sometimes. are you concerned that men do not find penetration enjoyable with the size of your vagina or that you are in pain? not sure.

Thanks. The former---although I think that if it felt better, the guy would probably come sooner.

[new25]

New25, you didn't really need to post this so many times. Once in the Gen Sex thread would have been fine.

Sorry


re: pain. I did with the last guy, the first time---nothing serious, but a little overwhelming. After that it was fine---good, but nothing to worry about.

After sex: almost everytime.

An hour is a long time, but they usually last that long. This makes me wonder, too---even though I know that they're all older, they're almost always inebriated in some way, and they're all complaining about the condom.

On the other hand, all of the younger guys I have been with have only lasted a 5-10 minutes. They also blame the condom (wtf?).