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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
Vendetta
post May 16 2008, 06:13 AM
Post #3421


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I bought one of those non-underwired bras once at Women's Secret and I hate to see myself in it. I look totally flat and when I move my nipples show because there's a lot of space between them and the bra. Argh. Those are size 1 too and I gave up from them.
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karategrrl
post May 15 2008, 01:45 PM
Post #3422


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QUOTE(crinoline @ May 15 2008, 07:55 PM) *
- I agree that there are some women who are perfectly mentally and emotionally secure who still undergo implant surgery because of professional or other reasons. But a woman who feels she needs breast implants to feel "complete" is not one of those women.


Crinoline, I stumbled over that comment, too, but I wasn't going to say anything! wink.gif


QUOTE(crinoline @ May 15 2008, 07:55 PM) *
Karategrrl- that father's attitude is horrifying, I hope that his daughter grows up strong enough to overcome such macho negativity.


I thought so, too. I wonder what became of that. That was many years ago, and I know the girl must be past her teens now.

I am going to look for that massage book. Thanks!
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crinoline
post May 15 2008, 01:38 PM
Post #3423


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From: Deep South, U.S.A.


QUOTE(Vendetta @ May 14 2008, 06:38 PM) *
Sometimes there's really no need to over analyze people. Sometimes a person who wants breast implants just... wants some breast. Sometimes people don't have underlying problems like past traumas or a history of self-hate or something. Sometimes there's people who are mentally healthy, educated and caring and just want to feel complete.

I don't know why they only sell B cup and up on Intimissimi. Well, they only sell B cup and up at very store around here. I've only found an A cup at DIM once, and it was too big since I'm an AA cup. There are no A and AA cups in Portugal, at all.


- I agree that there are some women who are perfectly mentally and emotionally secure who still undergo implant surgery because of professional or other reasons. But a woman who feels she needs breast implants to feel "complete" is not one of those women. I'm not saying there is necessarily a history of trauma, but there is a vital level of self-love and self-worth that is missing, if someone feels incomplete as they are naturally.
I'm not making judgments, I just know that the brain is a very powerful organ, and once someone has examined their feeling of incompleteness (preferably with professional assistance) these negative feelings can be overcome without invasive and dangerous surgery.

I believe that natural breasts are inherently perfect and beautiful, no matter how small. I recently got a massage book (gordon inkeles sensual massage for couples) and there are many nude photos of people giving and receiving massage, showing breasts of all shapes and sizes. One of these women has breasts so small that they are almost nipple buds. And she is sexy, womanly, and gorgeous. She actually made me feel that I have too much breast tissue, because she was so elegant and beautiful (not a feeling I'm used to having, lol).

The size 1 bras i got at Intimissimi were equivalent to a 32 A, the sizing is very different from American lingerie, a 32 A at victorias secret is often too big for me. I think the unlined, wire free bras could fit a AA, but you'd have to try them on to know for sure.

Karategrrl- that father's attitude is horrifying, I hope that his daughter grows up strong enough to overcome such macho negativity.

(((more love for Busties of all shapes and sizes)))


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karategrrl
post May 15 2008, 06:59 AM
Post #3424


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I forgot to mention, the June issue of the Oprah mag is all about beauty and body image (big close-up of Oprah's face on the cover). I've only read a few articles as yet, but so far it looks like they're tackling a lot of the things we talk about here. Interesting reading.
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karategrrl
post May 15 2008, 06:54 AM
Post #3425


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QUOTE(crinoline @ May 14 2008, 09:37 PM) *
As for implants, I agree with your reasons, stronggirl, but I would add that it is very likely a daughter of mine would be built the same, and I would not want to have her feel that she is in any way less. I think that if I got implants, it would send the message that I wasn't good enough before, and thus she is not good enough. It would set a bad example, and be damaging psychologically.


I do agree. I once worked for a man who bought his wife implants. She was very, very small before them. He had a daughter who at the time was about 8. I asked him how they were going to explain to the girl, when she went through puberty and grew small breasts, why she had small breasts while mom had large ones. He said that implants would be an option for her, too. He was so matter-of-fact about it.

When he was in his testosterone, chest-pounding mood and talking to other guys we worked with, he would talk about how "perfect" his wife's new breasts were, but when he was in a frustrated mood (they had some relationship issues), he would tell me how he loved her "old" breasts and talk about removing them, and how they couldn't hug as close anymore. ...Not to mention he was constantly trying to get in my pants, with my A-cup breasts and all. Quite an interesting scenario, as I remember....egads. laugh.gif
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Vendetta
post May 14 2008, 05:21 PM
Post #3426


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Sometimes there's really no need to over analyze people. Sometimes a person who wants breast implants just... wants some breast. Sometimes people don't have underlying problems like past traumas or a history of self-hate or something. Sometimes there's people who are mentally healthy, educated and caring and just want to feel complete.

I don't know why they only sell B cup and up on Intimissimi. Well, they only sell B cup and up at very store around here. I've only found an A cup at DIM once, and it was too big since I'm an AA cup. There are no A and AA cups in Portugal, at all.
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neurotic.nelly
post May 14 2008, 04:41 PM
Post #3427


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I was just looking at Angelina Jolie's photos, she's pregnant with twins n' all. Her breasts look great, she looks classy etc. I got to thinking about how Christina Aguilera's breasts looked in a close up picture - it was in techni-color, mind you. She has breast implants, right? In the picture, she was flaunting those implants even though it wasn't at all attractive IMO, they looked painfully swollen and veiny ( I have a thing about veins, no offense to anyone ). But, that's what you do, once you've bought and paid for them, you flaunt them, even if they look...terrible.

Lately, since reading here, I feel like an in-betweeny. I am a large A cup/ small B, so I have some breast tissue but not enough for an impress people with my cleavage. Its like I have the hint of cleavage, but I could never give my boy a tittie fuck.

I also feel that it is really important to surround yourself with positive images of women who look like you do, it boosts the self-esteem. Awhile back, I took a cartoony drawing of an Indian girl sitting in meditation with a-symmetrical small in-betweeny breasts like mine, and I posted it on my journal. It was really pretty.


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crinoline
post May 14 2008, 03:20 PM
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OT - DJ, thank you thank you for the tip about Intimissimi bras!! I went to victorias secret (yes, evil, I know) and they had a whole bin of size 1s on sale! I got a whole new bra wardrobe in pink, ivory, white, black, and blue. They are all lightly lined, so no show through, but no padding either, and half of them are pretty and lacey. The feature I was most impressed with, is that the band is completely adjustable, like a strap! This is great for me, because I need a 30 band, which is impossible to find. So now I have delicate, grown-up lingerie, and I can throw out my carebear print preteen bras! hooray!!

As for implants, I agree with your reasons, stronggirl, but I would add that it is very likely a daughter of mine would be built the same, and I would not want to have her feel that she is in any way less. I think that if I got implants, it would send the message that I wasn't good enough before, and thus she is not good enough. It would set a bad example, and be damaging psychologically.
(also, it's adorable that your lover said that)

As a psychology major, I would also think that anyone seriously considering breast implants should definitely go through therapy first to examine their true reasons for doing this to themselves. The level of self-doubt needed to undergo major surgery of this nature should really be explored and worked through. I think that for many women, getting breast implants is just an unhealthy way of dealing with the symptoms of a much larger problem.

(((all breasty busties)))


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karategrrl
post May 14 2008, 11:50 AM
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Hey strongirl,

Your list of reasons not to personally get implants echoes my own. I'm sorry if I offended anyone by agreeing with DJ's comment about not being able to relate to anyone on a deep level with someone who does get them. I defend my viewpoint and right to feel that way, but I must admit I've never personally known anyone who got them who was a down-to-earth person who I could relate to on a deep level, and I guess my lack of personal experience does skew my perception.

And to further confuse you all, I will confess that yes, I've had my moments where I said, "fuck it all!" I'm gonna sell out and get it done and FINALLY know what it's like to buy WOMAN'S BRAS and have CLEAVAGE and blah blah blah." But I know that even if I got to the point where I was being wheeled into the operating room for implants, I'd probably have a moment of personal clarity and jump right off the stretcher and run shrieking. I guess a lot of that comes from working in a health care environment; yes, we are able to work medical miracles in this day and age of technology, but in my humble opinion, major surgery is best left for lifesaving or health-enhancing situations. I've just seen and heard of too many instances where things went wrong with surgery...when it's surgery that was necessary, that's bad enough, but when it wasn't necessary (and yes, I know "necessary" is a subjective term), it really gets to me.

And yes, I, too, like the size of the woman's breasts in the black and white photo in the online article. I'd give a lot to have those! wink.gif
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anaisnin
post May 14 2008, 11:04 AM
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QUOTE(strongirl @ May 14 2008, 11:46 AM) *
]
Recently my lover said that if I wanted to get implants, he would lie on the floor and have a huge temper tantrum, kicking his feet and pounding his fists. And if I tried to walk past him, he'd grab my ankles and try to keep me from going out the door.



your lover has a great sense of humor tongue.gif
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strongirl
post May 14 2008, 09:29 AM
Post #3431


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The article karategrrl shared by the man who's turned off by "enhancements" is mandatory reading for everyone who reads this forum. I have heard similar comments by other men (and women).

Recently my lover said that if I wanted to get implants, he would lie on the floor and have a huge temper tantrum, kicking his feet and pounding his fists. And if I tried to walk past him, he'd grab my ankles and try to keep me from going out the door.

I laughed but it did make me feel really good. It's nice to have a guy say "I love you the way you are". But for me the image of an anti-implant tantrum has a bit more visceral impact.
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strongirl
post May 14 2008, 09:10 AM
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I am glad that Vendetta is getting some support here. She's obviously gone through a lot and is a strong person who thinks deeply about things. Vendetta - whatever you decide, I wish you happiness and self-love!

"but i do know that those who go through with the procedure are not individuals that i can relate to on a deeper level"

This phrase by Knorl but echoed by others really bothered me. I can only think of 3 women I know who have gotten implants. One is the stereotypical superficial, competitive bitch. But the other two are kind and caring people, insightful thinkers, and wonderful mothers. I have benefitted from knowing them both and would have lost out had I drawn that kind of line. I don't have to agree with someone on every issue to be friends.

In making a stand for tolerance and support for other women, I certainly did not mean to promote "an implant-supportive shift" on this forum! I've researched, considered and consistently opted not to get them. Why not?

1) I try to care for for my body in a healthy, natural way and they go against that.
2) I'm not sure they'd be an improvement - for the most part, I've always liked my small tits and so have my lovers.
3) I don't wish to support the societal trend toward physical conformity and artificiality.
4) I've looked at a lot of the before/after pics and the vast majority of them strike me as ugly and gross.
5) The risk of losing sensation scares me - I can orgasm from nipple stimulation and don't want to lose that.
6) Capsular contraction - when I see the tell-tale ripples and puckers in porn flicks, it makes my pussy go dry. Yuck!
7) Repeat surgery every 5-10 years? That sucks!

All that being said, who am I to judge someone who says, "Yeah, but it'd be worth it!" It's a personal choice.
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strongirl
post May 14 2008, 08:32 AM
Post #3433


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Ah, motherhood - same here on the milk engorgement. Ouch!

It's funny, when I was pregnant and nursing, my breasts were the biggest they've ever been and they felt the least sexy to me. I felt like I had cow udders. They functioned extremely well but didn't seem sexual to me until close to weaning (when I did have a very hot experience letting my new lover nurse from me, which was fun and we still sometimes fantasize about it a decade later). But at that point they were back down to an A cup.
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honeybunch
post May 14 2008, 07:28 AM
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QUOTE(karategrrl @ May 14 2008, 08:36 AM) *
WOW. What moms go through! I remember, I used to wish they could replicate the milk production hormone so I could get injections of it and get larger breasts. Then I realized it's not that easy! laugh.gif

It's not easy. That stuff gets everywhere. Milk soaked thru several layers of clothes. So I'm sitting there in class and there's this beg wet spot on my jacket (this was before I had a chance to get some nursing pads). It shoots everywhere. I swear I could have fed 10 babies. laugh.gif

Oh and ladies, pregnancy and lactaction doesnt necessarily make boobs sag more either, although in a strange way I was hoping for a bit more sag. I'm still passing (or failing???) the pencil test. laugh.gif
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honeybunch
post May 14 2008, 07:26 AM
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QUOTE(karategrrl @ May 13 2008, 09:56 AM) *
Hey, ladies,

Some interesting articles:

http://www.glamour.com/health/implants/subindex

I like her size boobs. Those are like waaay smaller than what I was loll.

*ducks tomatoes* lol
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karategrrl
post May 14 2008, 07:19 AM
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QUOTE(honeybunch @ May 14 2008, 01:25 PM) *
Milk engorgement. I woke up one morning and I must have been a D-cup. I was spilling out of my bras. The next day I shrunk a little, and bought some 36c bras which were still too small and my boobs were still hanging out. My breasts were rock hard, and it looked like I had an awful boob job.


WOW. What moms go through! I remember, I used to wish they could replicate the milk production hormone so I could get injections of it and get larger breasts. Then I realized it's not that easy! laugh.gif
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honeybunch
post May 14 2008, 07:08 AM
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QUOTE(karategrrl @ May 13 2008, 08:29 AM) *
Honeybunch, just curious--how on Earth were you once a D cup and now (I assume) an A? Oral contraceptives?

Milk engorgement. I woke up one morning and I must have been a D-cup if not more. I was spilling out of my bras. The next day I shrunk a little, and bought some 36c bras which were still too small and my boobs were still hanging out. My breasts were rock hard, and it looked like I had an awful boob job.
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Vendetta
post May 13 2008, 07:54 PM
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I still have infected feelings for my boyfriend. And I'm starting to believe they won't go away, ever. Our relationship has gotten so bad I don't even want to have sex anymore. Having sex is hell when you're not feeling sexy at all. And, as an extremely sexual couple we were, things are getting hard to handle with.
I just can't forgive and forget about the things he've said. Probably because they were the spark to my problem, and my problem isn't over. I'm not contemplating surgery because of him of course, in fact, I do believe surgery will make things even worse for us (or for me towards him). I believe I don't even want him to be near me by that time.
I know he loves me to death bla bla and I really have no doubt that I turn him on and the guy wants to marry me and have kids and all of that... So my lack of boobs never really was a problem to him, I know that. But... Besides some insensitive comments he made cause he knew I was confident, there are things I'm being obsessive with that I know they don't make sense. Like the attention he gave to my 5-months-A-cups that it's impossible to give now because I can't fake cleavage anymore, or that he prefered them to the real me. Of course he did but it hurts like hell. Well, in the end, I can't forget he's a boob man that fell in love with a small boobed girl and was just being himself. So I guess I hate that part of "himself". Now I can't get undressed in front of him and sex is hell to me. And I can't expect a guy to understand that my libido died because I feel unsexy.
Never thought I would end up this way. Never even thought that small breast support groups existed and that I would end up in one. I had never even thought I would have serious self-esteem issues, to the point I would be considering surgery. But then I think I could never continue living situations like running into every bathroom to take off the silicone pads before intimacy or having a boyfriend asking me why in the hell was I wearing two bras, without having the button "something's wrong" turned on. I've got a really nice turn off button when I don't want to think about something, but nothing lasts forever. And this wouldn't. When my lovely ex-boyfriend once said "you always had problems about your breast size" I was so surprised because I had never in 3 years made a single comment about them. But then, he saw me wearing two bras and saw me growing two cup sizes every morning so that was obvious. And I started thinking about all the embarassing stuff I've done in my life. I was 17 years old when I went out for a night with two bras and with cotton inserted in one of them. I ran into a public garbage to throw away the silicone pads when I was starting with my ex-boy, drunk, just to be looking for them all over the place on the next morning. I had a silicone pad falling off the bra several times on intimate moments. I kept checking them over and over again on night outs, not having fun. I used to smoke some weed and have a "night with myself" on the mirror putting up the padded bra again because "something didn't look right". Those were the kind of stuff I used to do to feel the sexy-as-hell I used to feel. So, was I happy with myself? No. I just wasn't thinking about it.
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karategrrl
post May 13 2008, 02:47 PM
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"Vendetta- i most certainly do NOT think that you are shallow and i would never lump you into the same category as the fake-tanned excercise models in karategrrl's magazine. "

I never would have, either.

"i'm wearing an empire-waist/long shirt thingy with leggings today. my advisor said, 'ooo, i need a shirt like that, that's a maternity shirt!' (she is pregnant) ouch. they are flattering in the boob department, and since i'm starting to get a little belly, it's nice to hide it under all that fabric."

Ouch is right! My friend is pregnant and recently bought 2 of those tops in the junior's dept. wink.gif
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dj-bizmonkey
post May 13 2008, 01:55 PM
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vendetta- i most certainly do NOT think that you are shallow and i would never lump you into the same category as the fake-tanned excercise models in karategrrl's magazine. this is a place for you to work through all of your misgivings, worries and frustrations. you should be proud of yourself for being able to name your issue with temerity and forethought.

i'm wearing an empire-waist/long shirt thingy with leggings today. my advisor said, 'ooo, i need a shirt like that, that's a maternity shirt!' (she is pregnant) ouch. they are flattering in the boob department, and since i'm starting to get a little belly, it's nice to hide it under all that fabric.


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