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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
buttercups
post Sep 6 2009, 01:10 PM
Post #1961


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Omg I read the "Why Men Love Bitches" book over the summer and I would totally recommend it haha, I found a lot of it to be quite true ( and I like the author's sense of humor)! Wow you girls have completely described how I feel a lot of the time.

QUOTE
I know, that's ultimately where my insecurity is. I am much better than I was with the small breast insecurity. But now I'm dealing with the cute insecurity and the non-curviness insecurity. Hopefully I can overcome those. But man, I know what you mean.

To knock a man's socks off, to make his eyes bug out when he sees you, to make a guy speechless..... That is my dream. I just don't see cute having that abilit


That is a lot of me in a nutshell! If I could make my bf react to me with awe with this body, well I'm not saying I would feel better about myself...but...it's just an effect I wish I had I guess. I have totally had that experience where you dress up and feel all sexy and then you don't portray that image to others. I feel exactly like you said Aithinne, like the person others perceive me as on the outside is very different from how I see myself inside. I feel like this hot sexy womanly woman, but it seems that others tend to view me as a cute, tiny, short little girl. Even my bf has said on multiple occasions that he thinks I'm "the cutest girl he's ever seen" and I do take that as a compliment. I don't think there's anything wrong with being cute I think it's a great thing to be seen as, but I would def like to be able to be considered other things as well.

And I completely agree that we need to take womanly back along with cute! I'm sick and tired of being made to feel like I'm not a woman. Where the hell did this idea come from?? I mean sometimes I really have felt like being female is this special group that I'm trying to be a part of but for some reason I don't really belong. What the hell?! I most certainly belong! Why have I felt like an outsider to my own gender? I've even identified with transgendered people before because I have so often felt like I'm trying desperately to be a woman and keep missing the mark even though that's all I want to be. I am 100% woman inside and out, and no one should be able to make me feel otherwise!
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Persephone3
post Sep 5 2009, 07:26 PM
Post #1962


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Some great posts here. I just wanted to add that I don't feel that sexiness in entirely dependant on physical appearance. It's more of an attitude. I know you have all probably heard that before, but it doesn't make it any less true.

There is this book I read that I'm almost hesitant to recommend because the title is so vile. It's called "Why Men Love Bitches" by Sherry Argov. Even though I am not in the dating scene, I had to pick it up because I though it contained some great advice, whether you are in a relationship or not. It does not have to do specifically with breasts, but has a lot of good advice regarding your attitude towards yourself, and men.

QUOTE
Uhoh, 'cute'. I used to take the odd suggestive pic for my then-bf when we were living long-distance. This one time I'd made quite an effort (fancy bra, makeup, sultry pouty face haha) and thought i was looking pretty darn hot...until one of his remarks in response was how I'm 'more of a pretty girl than a sexy one'. Yeah, he had a talent for saying the wrong thing. I'm er sure he meant well. I think it's funny now but at the time I was not amused...


I can't even begin to tell you how many inappropriate things men have said to me (and friends through their stories) during the course of my life. I sometimes don't even know what to say. I often just scratch my head, look at them and think 'are you braindead?' And they honestly don't get it...

I'm not sure if my problems are from other peoples opinions, or my own inner dialogue. Probably both.

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Aithinne
post Sep 5 2009, 01:56 PM
Post #1963


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QUOTE(starship @ Sep 5 2009, 12:15 PM) *
Ha i loved your 'how i feel vs how i look' pictures.
Sigh, for once I'd just like to knock a mans socks off


I know, that's ultimately where my insecurity is. I am much better than I was with the small breast insecurity. But now I'm dealing with the cute insecurity and the non-curviness insecurity. Hopefully I can overcome those. But man, I know what you mean.

To knock a man's socks off, to make his eyes bug out when he sees you, to make a guy speechless..... That is my dream. I just don't see cute having that ability.
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starship
post Sep 5 2009, 01:15 PM
Post #1964


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QUOTE(Allison-Shine @ Sep 5 2009, 04:20 PM) *
I am just speaking for myself and how I feel about myself as well. I wasn't generalizing or anything. After what I been through, I have a right to feel better about my body thats all.


I was gah-ing more at the general association of boobs & womanly-ness not at your personal feelings. I'd probably feel more womanly if i sprouted 34bs too. *not proud*
Ha i loved your 'how i feel vs how i look' pictures.
Sigh, for once I'd just like to knock a mans socks off
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Aithinne
post Sep 5 2009, 12:51 PM
Post #1965


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Let's take back the 'womanly' too, while we're at it!! Here here! Time to redefine cute and womanly. Yay. Go us.


QUOTE(starship @ Sep 5 2009, 09:01 AM) *
Uhoh, 'cute'. I used to take the odd suggestive pic for my then-bf when we were living long-distance. This one time I'd made quite an effort (fancy bra, makeup, sultry pouty face haha) and thought i was looking pretty darn hot...until one of his remarks in response was how I'm 'more of a pretty girl than a sexy one'. Yeah, he had a talent for saying the wrong thing. I'm er sure he meant well. I think it's funny now but at the time I was not amused...


Man, that sucks. That's kind of what I feel like too. I sometimes feel like people see me as not even capable of being sexy because I'm so cuuuuuuuute. Yuck.

I find it really frustrating because I feel like how I am on the inside and how I look on the outside are at opposite ends of the spectrum, i.e. cute is on one end, sexy on the other, cute being the antithesis or negation of sexy. If I were to choose a picture to how I see myself inside, how I am on the inside, I think I'd probably pick something like how Eva Green looked in Casino Royale (I like this picture too). She was smokin hot in that movie. But if I were to choose a picture for how people see me on the outside....This.

GAG on that cute, why don't ya! It would be cool if I could pull off the sultry, seductive look, but I think my baby face is prohibitive. I really doubt I could pull it off. It would look like a joke, or like a little kid playing dress up. So sad... sad.gif It would be so cool if I could look that uncute and sexy.
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Allison-Shine
post Sep 5 2009, 10:20 AM
Post #1966


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[quote name='starship' date='Sep 5 2009, 11:01 AM' post='248668']
again with the implication that small boobs aren't womanly. gah


I am just speaking for myself and how I feel about myself as well. I wasn't generalizing or anything. After what I been through, I have a right to feel better about my body thats all.
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starship
post Sep 5 2009, 10:01 AM
Post #1967


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QUOTE(Allison-Shine @ Sep 5 2009, 03:30 PM) *
Feeling more womanly lately, with my new 34B size and my hips and butt look real good. And the man I'm with surely helps as well.


again with the implication that small boobs aren't womanly. gah

Uhoh, 'cute'. I used to take the odd suggestive pic for my then-bf when we were living long-distance. This one time I'd made quite an effort (fancy bra, makeup, sultry pouty face haha) and thought i was looking pretty darn hot...until one of his remarks in response was how I'm 'more of a pretty girl than a sexy one'. Yeah, he had a talent for saying the wrong thing. I'm er sure he meant well. I think it's funny now but at the time I was not amused...
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Allison-Shine
post Sep 5 2009, 09:30 AM
Post #1968


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QUOTE(Aithinne @ Sep 4 2009, 09:24 AM) *
OMG, what a great idea for a song remake.. Cuteback. Love it. Just... awesome.



Yes I think I will take "Cuteback" too.

This thread helped me realize that most people use the word "cute" in place of "hot", "beautiful" or "sexy" since it is more PC or just simply more appropriate in personal situations. Now I don't get as worked up about the C-word as I used to.

Feeling more womanly lately, with my new 34B size and my hips and butt look real good. And the man I'm with surely helps as well.
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Aithinne
post Sep 4 2009, 08:24 AM
Post #1969


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QUOTE(karategrrl @ Sep 4 2009, 04:45 AM) *
LOL! laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

Love it!!!

Justin Timberlake has to do a sequel to "Sexyback." Call it "Cuteback!"

Yeah, sing it, ladies! All together now:

"I'm takin' Cuu-ute back! (Yeah!)"


OMG, what a great idea for a song remake.. Cuteback. Love it. Just... awesome.
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karategrrl
post Sep 4 2009, 05:45 AM
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QUOTE(buttercups @ Sep 3 2009, 10:58 PM) *
It's time for us to take back the cute! Cute is hot!



LOL! laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

Love it!!!

Justin Timberlake has to do a sequel to "Sexyback." Call it "Cuteback!"

Yeah, sing it, ladies! All together now:

"I'm takin' Cuu-ute back! (Yeah!)"
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anna k
post Sep 3 2009, 09:44 PM
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QUOTE
Don't be too hung up on looking young. One day, and trust me on this, you will appreciate looking young. Enjoy your youth. It is more valuable than you realize


Very true. I'm going to be 26 soon and still think I look younger than I am, wanting to look more womanly than girlish. But then I imagine that looking young and girlish will eventually catch up with me and I'll look more my age, whatever it may be.

And same on calling guys cute when you mean sexy/hot. I saw a guy tonight at the gym who was kickboxing while I was reading a book, and I thought he was very cute, and sexy when kicking/punching the bag. I wanted to say hi but felt it would be weird or intrusive.
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angie_21
post Sep 3 2009, 09:21 PM
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Hi Eris, I am really interested in what you wrote, but to be honest I only understand maybe half of it. I think you might have to actually explain what a Meme is before anyone can respond to your post.

QUOTE(Persephone3 @ Sep 3 2009, 06:54 PM) *
I agree completely with the 'cute' comment. I can't tell you how many times I've noticed a guy and said "he's really cute". What I often meant was 'WOW!'.
Don't be too hung up on looking young. One day, and trust me on this, you will appreciate looking young. Enjoy your youth. It is more valuable than you realize.


Oh so true!!

Also, one of my boyfriend's favorite things about me is how "cute" I am. He is constantly telling me I am adorable, sweet, cute, every nauseating word you can think of... I sometimes get annoyed too, but I know he loves me a lot because of it. To him it's very desirable for women to be genuinely sweet and loving, much more so than to be overly dressed-up like barbie dolls, agressive and fake. Those are overgreneralizations, but you know what I am saying. Men, at least most of the ones I know, have a protective instinct, and cuteness sets it off. They may not always like to admit it, but they loooove cute things. The thing is, cute and sexy are NOT opposites, I know it feels that way sometimes, but they actually can go hand in hand. And oh yeah, playing up cutenes, innocence, and helplessness, when done in a clever or playful way, is pretty well-known and successful method of flirting.
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strongirl
post Sep 3 2009, 09:12 PM
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"It's time for us to take back the cute! Cute is hot!" Buttercups, that is both astute and hilarious at the same time! biggrin.gif
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Persephone3
post Sep 3 2009, 07:54 PM
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I agree completely with the 'cute' comment. I can't tell you how many times I've noticed a guy and said "he's really cute". What I often meant was 'WOW!'.
Don't be too hung up on looking young. One day, and trust me on this, you will appreciate looking young. Enjoy your youth. It is more valuable than you realize.
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buttercups
post Sep 3 2009, 07:17 PM
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See, exactly! He couldn't say "you're one hot sexy babe I want to ravage" because it wouldn't have been appropriate! He was hitting on you, you should feel great about yourself!
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Aithinne
post Sep 3 2009, 07:10 PM
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You know, I realized that too, that cute is really the only acceptable compliment on looks for public settings between strangers. Unfortunate really... I wish there was a word people could use when they are strangers that wasn't also used for toddlers and puppies.
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buttercups
post Sep 3 2009, 05:58 PM
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Aithinne I know exactly how you feel, I am definitely always identified as being "cute" and I always equate it with my lack of breast-estage. I remember all too well how the guy I was in love with in high school for 2 years would literally pat me on the head and tell me I was "so cute" all the time. I of course took it the wrong way and thought he liked me, but he soon set it straight that he meant it in a little sister way ( of course!). But everyone here is right, and maybe we've taken cute the wrong way. I think we're assuming that men and women use cute differently. When we say a guy is cute we equate that with hot and sexy. We may be assuming that when a guy says it he means little sister, but maybe he means it like we do. I know that anytime I've been at a bar with my guy friends whenever they are attracted to a girl they say "she's cute". Could it be that because of the way you feel about yourself maybe you misconstrued his words? This guy could have totally been checkin your hot self out and called you cute to pay you a compliment and win you over. In fact, I'm sure that's what it was! He was totally hitting on you and even told you that you're cute! I mean he couldn't tell you in public when you were at your job that you're sexy. Cute is much more appropriate for public and work and he most certainly meant to compliment you! It's time for us to take back the cute! Cute is hot!
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Aithinne
post Sep 3 2009, 03:00 PM
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I think the cute makes me cringe because I have always looked underage. If all you ever hear is that you look like a cute 12 year old, you can feel pidgeon-holed in the cute immature box. Breaking free of the cute and being seen as an adult has been a struggle. Idk, cute makes me feel 12, and who's attracted to a 12 year old unless they're a pedo? Grr.. I need to not think about it so my distractions can start working.

I know it's stupid to get so worked up over a word that is supposed to be a compliment, but it still makes me feel unwomanly and insecure. sad.gif
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strongirl
post Sep 3 2009, 02:38 PM
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Good point, Anna K.

It's funny but when I read the posts from "cutenotsexy" on here, I ALWAYS read it mentally as "cuteandsexy" because in my mind, cute IS sexy.

Cute AND sexy: Kate Hudson, her mom Goldie Hawn, Lily Allen, Miley Cyrus (I don't really like her but she is cute and sexy), Katie Holmes, Gwen Stefani. All of them are cute and sexy in an appealing, girlish way.

Personally, I've always enjoyed being regarded as "cute" and I work the sexy aspect of that hard when I'm coming on to someone, even just at home with my bf, with good success. (Of course in a business setting I play it down and go for the more mature thing.) But a cute girl who is playful and flirtatious in a lighthearted, sincere way will have no trouble being regarded as sexy, in my opinion.
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Aithinne
post Sep 3 2009, 12:46 PM
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QUOTE(anna k @ Sep 3 2009, 07:07 AM) *
Aithinne, I think cute can be sexy. For famous examples, I think of Amy Adams and Drew Barrymore as both cute and sexy, having a girlish charm and innocent-looking faces while both being very sexy in an innate way. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. From your writings, I do think you're sexy in an intelligent and unique way, and it isn't good to equate big breasts or curvy figures with "sexy." Personally, it can feel like an exaggerated feminity sometimes.



Oh anna k, how I love you! Hopefully work will distract me so I don't have to think...
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