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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
karategrrl
post Oct 5 2009, 11:32 AM
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OMG, I don't check the board for a few days, and all hell breaks loose! laugh.gif

Holy crap, ladies, the mean-mom shit is really horrible. nbdx0645, I agree with what someone else here said (sorry, I forget who) about how you have to consider the inner hell your mom must live with and consider that in order to release your own hurt feelings. Don't get me wrong--the things she'd said are HORRIBLE, and what you and buttercups have had to deal with from your own moms is just shameful--emotional abusive for sure. Your moms obviously have a lot of inner demons and they somehow feel that unleashing some of those little fuckers on you will somehow lessen their own pain/insecurities. I don't condone their behavior but I do feel sorry for anyone who feels so bad about themselves they're willing to chip away at their own child to "gain" nothing more than a fleeting feeling of superiority. What shines though to me, though, is how amazing you two are to rise above that mindset, fight it, work hard to love yourselves "as-is," and also have the courage to reach out and find support (like our little online community) when you need it. I have come to the conclusion that some of the best things we learn from our parents is how NOT to be.

QUOTE(starship @ Oct 5 2009, 02:05 PM) *
I'm actually starting to think that way more people have A or smaller breasts than I thought...I think theres just a lot of well hidden A-cups walking around.


I think so, too, starship. I think our representation just on this board is probably a microcosm of what's really out there.
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starship
post Oct 5 2009, 09:05 AM
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I concur with everyone else on the 'wow' ndbx. It was great to read about someone else with an unsupportive mother but who still has such a positive outlook, really inspiring:). Hope you stick around and don't go back to lurking. My mum tells me not to wear certain things too. Like a few days ago we went shopping and i tried on a top i really liked that was quite low but not insanely. She told me it looked awful because it made me 'look really flat'. I had a push up bra on and didnt look half as flat as im capable of! Didnt buy it because i knew she'd make little comments every time i wore it. She also sells some stuff online sometimes and always asks me to 'model' the clothes for the pictures. But whenever she asks me she always says things like 'go and get your bra on then (as in a padded one) before i take the pictures' Or if im feeling crappy (because of her comments) and dont want to she'll try and convince me with so-called encouragement like 'dont be silly, put some chicken fillets in and itll look great'. as though nothing could look good on me the way i am and everythings better with boobs. And worse, if something doesnt suit/fit me she'll say how its a shame we couldnt get *insert name of one of my far bustier cousins here* to wear it because 'their figure wouldve looked great in it' or more bluntly 'she's got big boobs'. I'm so glad that she never had the money to buy breast implants like your mother because I seriously would have found it unbearable. Even when she was slim and younger she had bigger boobs than me (full A/small B whereas Im a AA) but I think she mustve had issues with them, especially as her 2younger sisters were more well-endowed. But I just cant get my head round why mothers who've been through this themselves arent more supportive or understanding of their daughters. I can't imagine saying any of these things if I ever have a daughter of my own, infact i'd go out of my way to enforce the kind of messages I've gotten from this board and make sure she doesnt feel this way. I just don't get it. She can't get her head around the idea that even if I had all the money in the world I would not have a boobjob and that I don't look up to women with fake boobs as having some amazing body that i should aspire to.
I'm actually starting to think that way more people have A or smaller breasts than I thought. If you look at amature porn-type sites then theres always way more smaller ladies than if you look at the professional stuff/general advertising etc. And the fact that so many people are having breast enlargement/buying A-cup padded bras shows that its not just some tiny minority out there. I think theres just a lot of well hidden A-cups walking around. I know a lot more people have bigger cup sizes nowadays, but they also have the bigger band sizes to match. Surely Skinny women with more than a C-cup are the minority- not ones with AA/A/Bs :S
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angie_21
post Oct 4 2009, 08:40 PM
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oh wow, nbdx. Your mom sounds like my boyfriend's ex-wife's mother., and that would indeed make her a super-hag. You can't believe how glad it makes me to hear that you overcame her craziness and we smart enough to do the research before getting implants! Thank you for sharing your story with us. Its only by people sharing these kinds of stories that people can understand why it is that small breasts can cause the emotional issues that we sometimes see on this board.

I don't know if I can say anything else... I can't believe you escaped this situation without being completely crazy, you are very strong, and I am so happy to hear that you are wanting to talk here and that we've been able to help you. You are probably right about your mom, what she did wasn't intentionally abusive, she was too busy being wrapped up in her own little world to understand or care how it affected you. It IS very sad that her life is so consumed by her own body, and I wonder what her relationship with her mother might have been like? You do have the right to be angry, but I hope that realising that she had her reasons, however crazy they are, can help you experience the anger but then let go of it, too.. if that doesn't sound too hippy-ish for you!

I'm a 36 A or AA as well (depends on the brand, and really also on how much water I'm retaining at the time) and you'd only see me really looking like an A-cup in public about half of the time. I'm working on doing it more often, but I always struggle with the fact that I can't by the clothes I want without padding to make them fit right. BUT my new fave swimsuit is completely un-padded, so I do "represent" at the beach lol
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buttercups
post Oct 4 2009, 08:12 PM
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Wow nbdx0645, I don't even know what to say. You truly are so strong, stronger than I could be. I have had problems with my family making comments, but nothing like what you've gone through. You are very brave to have come so far without giving in to all that pressure. I really don't know what I would have done. I also wanted to say that we are the same age and the same size, so I can def relate to so much of what you said. It is rare to see a AA in public, but if you saw me in public I wouldn't look like a AA either bc I pad. So maybe there are more of us out there than we think.

I'll be back to post more about this bc I just can't believe what you've gone through, but thanks so much for sharing your story with us. It really means a lot. *hugs*
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nbdx0645
post Oct 4 2009, 07:34 PM
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I feel very relieved that I could talk about my issue to other women. I don't have many women in my life. My female coworkers are great but it's something I couldn't talk to them about. It's a very personal matter. I always talk positively about my body or other people's bodies because I want to promote good body image. I asked my boyfriend how I can get over this and he told me, as a start, to never say anything bad about your breasts out loud. It's really hard, because I do have a sharp wit. Another thing I need to do is to stop trying to 'find my breasts' on other women. It's rare to see a natural AA in public.

As for my mom, I don't think she ever purposefully went out of her way to make me hate my body. I believe she was trying to bury her horrible emotional experiences. She wanted to make her daughter skip the part where she agonized about it for years. I think that she got carried away in her own idea of 'the perfect body' and projected it on to me. It doesn't make it right, by any means, and I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive her for it. Insecurity breeds insecurity.

I believe she may have thought that her advice was like motivating a junkie for a healthier lifestyle. Her life was temporarily "So much better." My dad said it was like she finally overcame severe depression. It didn't last for her, though. She was very self-conscious because she didn't want anybody to know that they were fake. She probably did not tell me about the implants because I would have blabbed it to my friends in high school (which I would have done.) She got them done when I was 3, so it wasn't a change that I noticed. Still, it would have been great to know that I was normal, like her. :/

Her issue was coming from the inside. She never developed her mind or spirit, just her body. It's so surreal to think of it as emotional abuse. I can definitely see it, and I've felt it, but I believed that she was really trying to look out for me in some crazy way. That's what makes it all so very messed up. I can see both things, and sometimes I want to be mad, and other times I want to call her up and try to work through it. I wonder what my mom would have been like if she reached escape velocity from the media.

Just because she couldn't enjoy her form -- doesn't mean I can't. We're related, of course...but we're two entirely different people.
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Aithinne
post Oct 4 2009, 03:15 PM
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QUOTE(strongirl @ Oct 4 2009, 12:38 PM) *
Wow, if I hadn't read these posts myself I would have said that calling someone's mother a "worthless hag" and a "complete bitch" is a line that should never be crossed...but in this case I really can't help but agree. Reading your posts, nbdx0645, was truly heartbreaking. I can't tell you how much I admire and respect you for achieving the healthier and more balanced perspective that you have when you not only had zero support from your mother but in my opinion, extreme emotional abuse. You are an amazing person to come out of that with any semblence of self-esteem. Good for you! Your boyfriend sounds like a keeper too.

I've said in here before that I think the implant craze is going to fade within the next few years. The sooner the better as far as I'm concerned.


I wouldn't normally ever say that about someone's mother either, but dang... that woman is a piece of work. It's such outrageous behavior that it almost doesn't seem true. I agree that it is extreme emotional abuse.
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strongirl
post Oct 4 2009, 01:38 PM
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Wow, if I hadn't read these posts myself I would have said that calling someone's mother a "worthless hag" and a "complete bitch" is a line that should never be crossed...but in this case I really can't help but agree. Reading your posts, nbdx0645, was truly heartbreaking. I can't tell you how much I admire and respect you for achieving the healthier and more balanced perspective that you have when you not only had zero support from your mother but in my opinion, extreme emotional abuse. You are an amazing person to come out of that with any semblence of self-esteem. Good for you! Your boyfriend sounds like a keeper too.

I've said in here before that I think the implant craze is going to fade within the next few years. The sooner the better as far as I'm concerned.



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Aithinne
post Oct 4 2009, 12:01 PM
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QUOTE(nbdx0645 @ Oct 4 2009, 09:04 AM) *
To follow the latter portion of the recent posts: I really, really hate the 'implanted' look and how people think that it's a requirement if you fall between the AAA--B range. I believe that more and more people are able to spot this look and reject it.


Yes, I do think in a strange way the whole breast implant thing has had a roundabout positive affect in those women who choose not to get them. It's made people start to realize that women will ultimately be happier, healthier, and more lovely as they naturally are. I definitely have more appreciation for the vast variety of body shapes as people have been moving toward looking all the same in recent years. I think breast implants will always be around, but I do also think that this breast implant fad will taper off soon in the next few years.
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nbdx0645
post Oct 4 2009, 10:04 AM
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As time goes on, I pity her. She has numerous health complications that may be linked to her implants, but she puts the blame on the rheumatic fever she had as a kid. Her hair is falling out, and she can't exercise without severe pain. My dad left her because she slept with his best friend and had greed issues (namely with money). She says she 'means well' and sometimes she does, but she lies too much to be trusted.

The strange thing was that I thought we were best friends for most of my life. I thought she was trying to help me with my body. It was comforting to know that I could get implants to change the way I looked, and the quick fix could get people to love me. My mom also dealt with anorexia and bulimia for most of her life, as well. She was a 'good mom' when other people were watching. When she couldn't receive praise from someone, she'd be selfish and cold. I went in the opposite path she did. I want to help others feel better about their bodies. I want to stop listening to what other people think. It's just so hard to shut those people out when you don't really like what you're standing up for.

To follow the latter portion of the recent posts: I really, really hate the 'implanted' look and how people think that it's a requirement if you fall between the AAA--B range. I believe that more and more people are able to spot this look and reject it. It's similar to the web 2.0 design aesthetic when it made its debut. Everybody started to copy it, and now it became trite and cliche. I felt like implants were the answer until I did more research and found images of necrosis, symmastia, and capsular contracture. I feel so bad for those women.
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Aithinne
post Oct 3 2009, 09:04 PM
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QUOTE(nbdx0645 @ Oct 3 2009, 05:31 PM) *
Hey all, I've been a lurker for quite a while now. I was reading Starship's last post -- and it really resonated with my story about my mom and myself. I activated an account because I'd like to discuss what has been bothering me. I'm very small breasted (I used to be a 34A, but now I am a 34AA. I'm 25 years old.) I've really, really hated them, and the negative attention/comments they received. My mom also gave me a bunch of grief about my breasts. When I was younger, I'd get upset about being 'so different.' She would roll her eyes and tell me that I can get an augmentation at 18. She also told me not to wear low-cut tops or bikinis in public, because it would make it hard for me to find friends/boyfriend. She'd also wear my clothing when I was growing up. Tops would look far better on her than me. She'd walk around the house topless and be so proud of her 34C's. Frankly, it's really uncomfortable to see your mom's boobs. All the time. I knew she didn't like the way I looked, but loved the way she looked. It was like she didn't care about my issues. Or worse, my size offended her. I'd get some jokes from her, and she took me to doctors to 'check and see if I was developing normally' (super embarrassing at 16.) I played volleyball, and the volleyball moms would comment about our size gap. My mom would sell me out and say "she looks almost like me, tee hee!" I'd get really upset all the time. I'd cry a lot. I don't think I've gone a day without thinking about my chest and how others perceive it. I used to be a very confident kid, but it waned when I realized I was done developing. Sometimes I try to convince myself that I'm not done growing.

Fast forward to about 4 months ago. I found out that my mom's breasts are fake. It was the most betraying feeling in the world. I was mad, upset, angry, hurt. She had liposuction, implants, a tummy tuck, and micro-dermabrasion (along with numerous other 'non-invasive' procedures) throughout my life and never told me. I try not to be mad at her. I just can't get over the fact that she made me feel so abnormal and defective. When I asked her if she was sorry for leading me on, or if she was sorry for lying about her surgeries, she said "It was the best thing I ever did, and I am so mad at your dad for telling you. We were going to take this to the grave." They always looked really stiff, but I thought that's what women's breasts looked like when they were really thin.

I thought about seeing a counselor to help me get over my body issues, but my insurance does not have affordable counseling options. Sometimes, I feel like a counselor wouldn't understand. I feel like this thread has helped me out so much, and maybe talking about my story would help someone else, too. My mom did some really, really bad stuff. She isn't sorry for it. I try not to be mad at her because she was doing what everybody else wanted her to do. I brought it up to my boyfriend, and he's always been very supportive, and he suggested that I post on here. Please try to be an advocate for girls (and women) to talk to. I'm going to try to feel better about my body, and I hope we all can do that, too. I know it feels good to hate, sometimes.


All I can say is that your situation with your mom sounds so incredibly unloving, selfish, and wrong that I almost have a hard time believing that a mother could behave in such a way.

Your body is perfect the way it is. Your mom, sad to say, is a complete bitch with zero motherly instincts at all. As I see it, it seems almost easy to disregard the ramblings of someone so uncompromisingly mean. Someone with more humanity would be more credible if they said there was something wrong with you. But, a person with humanity wouldn't say there is anything wrong with you because there isn't. A person with so little compassion as your mom is clearly wrong and hypocritical in stating that there is anything wrong with you. Sounds like she has a mountain's worth of problems and likes others to wallow in as much misery as herself. The best thing you can do is not take the bait (which she seems to be doing very clearly.. baiting you into being just as miserable with your body as she is with hers).

Your mom sounds like a worthless hag. You are far better than her on the scale of humanity. I wish you the best of luck and hope you stick around.

Perhaps I can actually come up with some advice when I can finally wrap my head around how inconceivably insensitive your mother is.
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nbdx0645
post Oct 3 2009, 06:31 PM
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Hey all, I've been a lurker for quite a while now. I was reading Starship's last post -- and it really resonated with my story about my mom and myself. I activated an account because I'd like to discuss what has been bothering me. I'm very small breasted (I used to be a 34A, but now I am a 34AA. I'm 25 years old.) I've really, really hated them, and the negative attention/comments they received. My mom also gave me a bunch of grief about my breasts. When I was younger, I'd get upset about being 'so different.' She would roll her eyes and tell me that I can get an augmentation at 18. She also told me not to wear low-cut tops or bikinis in public, because it would make it hard for me to find friends/boyfriend. She'd also wear my clothing when I was growing up. Tops would look far better on her than me. She'd walk around the house topless and be so proud of her 34C's. Frankly, it's really uncomfortable to see your mom's boobs. All the time. I knew she didn't like the way I looked, but loved the way she looked. It was like she didn't care about my issues. Or worse, my size offended her. I'd get some jokes from her, and she took me to doctors to 'check and see if I was developing normally' (super embarrassing at 16.) I played volleyball, and the volleyball moms would comment about our size gap. My mom would sell me out and say "she looks almost like me, tee hee!" I'd get really upset all the time. I'd cry a lot. I don't think I've gone a day without thinking about my chest and how others perceive it. I used to be a very confident kid, but it waned when I realized I was done developing. Sometimes I try to convince myself that I'm not done growing.

Fast forward to about 4 months ago. I found out that my mom's breasts are fake. It was the most betraying feeling in the world. I was mad, upset, angry, hurt. She had liposuction, implants, a tummy tuck, and micro-dermabrasion (along with numerous other 'non-invasive' procedures) throughout my life and never told me. I try not to be mad at her. I just can't get over the fact that she made me feel so abnormal and defective. When I asked her if she was sorry for leading me on, or if she was sorry for lying about her surgeries, she said "It was the best thing I ever did, and I am so mad at your dad for telling you. We were going to take this to the grave." They always looked really stiff, but I thought that's what women's breasts looked like when they were really thin.

I thought about seeing a counselor to help me get over my body issues, but my insurance does not have affordable counseling options. Sometimes, I feel like a counselor wouldn't understand. I feel like this thread has helped me out so much, and maybe talking about my story would help someone else, too. My mom did some really, really bad stuff. She isn't sorry for it. I try not to be mad at her because she was doing what everybody else wanted her to do. I brought it up to my boyfriend, and he's always been very supportive, and he suggested that I post on here. Please try to be an advocate for girls (and women) to talk to. I'm going to try to feel better about my body, and I hope we all can do that, too. I know it feels good to hate, sometimes.
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Aithinne
post Oct 3 2009, 01:58 PM
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Keira Knightly's untouched natural boobies make me proud to be a small breasted woman. Take that culture!
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angie_21
post Oct 3 2009, 12:24 PM
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yes to everything anarch said! You're doing the right thing buttercups, I'm so glad you're being strong and taking care of yourself first! If he won't stand up for you, make it clear you're never being in situations like that with him, ever, because it HURTS you and he's too afraid to stop that from happening. If he spends time with them, it's time without you, end of story. Those guys are, sorry to sound judgemental, BAD people. Not all men are like that, not even close. I know so many wonderful, loving, intelligent men who value women as people, not as bodies. I guess it helps that most of the men I know are in their 30s, but even the guys I know in their 20s are at least respectful, even if they're a little less mature about sex.

I've always believed that if you want something, you have to ask for it, and that includes respect from men (and other women too, for that matter). Most people, if you let them walk all over you, they will. If I don't get the respect I demand, I'm outta there.

That really sucks to have to hear that kind of talk from your own family, startship. I don't know what her problem is either! All I can guess is she's taking out her own insecurities on you. Sometimes people have a hard time understanding why others are confident and happy with their bodies, especially when they aren't happy with their own. Sometimes the gut reaction is to try to bring happy people down a notch. It's not nice, but people don't always do it on purpose, and it's not to hurt you, but sadly to make themselves feel better.
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starship
post Oct 3 2009, 08:02 AM
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argh, my mum was talking about a photo of someone we know wearing a really revealing dress (cutout bits down the side all the way up, not revealing i the breast area or anything) on holiday and I said 'well i guess its no different to wearing a bikini on holiday really' to which she replied 'yeah, and shes had her boobs done too so...' umm, I asked what that had to do with wearing a bikini or a dress which wasnt even showing her boobs off (her arm was infront of them in the pic so i dont see why theyd come into the convo anyway) Her answer- "well ya look better when youve got boobs dont you". Thanks mum. So I have an ugly body that should be hidden away. She always says crap like this. Like the time she 'didnt understand why keira knightly hadnt had a boob job when shes got all that money' as if its compulsory. Dumb bitch. And she always remarks about what a great body the girl in the pic has- shes got stupid plastic fucking tits for gods sake. Its even more annoying that I still cant bring myself to speak out when she says stuff like that- it makes me feel embarassed in the first place and the last thing i want to do is make a big deal out of it and seem over-defensive or get upset infront of her over it. She'd probably go and tell everybody else in the family and i don't want attention drawn to it like its some huge problem i have- embarassing. Its not like she doesnt know I have small boobs and could be offended by it- she points them out enough. Why is she so fucking breast obsessed.
Anyway, this just happened and I came straight on here to have a rant
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anarch
post Oct 2 2009, 08:15 PM
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QUOTE(buttercups @ Sep 30 2009, 06:16 AM) *
Some of these boys are racist and they like to talk about jewish people even though they know im half jewish, for ex, and my bf has heard that shit too and also not said much of anything.


(((buttercups)))

Pukeworthy asswipes, these guys.

QUOTE(buttercups @ Sep 30 2009, 06:16 AM) *
He says he wants to learn how to stick up for me but that it puts him in a hard place. And i'm trying not to be the bitchy girl that makes him choose me over his friends (even though i secretly feel like he should inside..). . . . it does make me angry, im just not sure what to do about it since i dont want to influence him and make him hate his friends, i guess i want him to come to the conclusion that theyre assholes all on his own..but idk if he ever will.


Yep, doing what's right and rising above the lowest common denominator is usually hard. Much easier to keep your head down, not make waves, not say anything that might make the bullies turn their ridicule and contempt on you instead of the target they're already used to using as a punching bag. And so the shitty behaviour goes on and on. This is making me so glad that dating never really happened for me during my teens and 20s. There were long stretches of loneliness, but in retrospect it was much easier for me to get my self-esteem together in the absence of this kind of juvenile dumping on my body image and looks (and then when I turned 30 and had decided to hell with 'em, all of a sudden all these men came out of the woodwork and they were nice and thought about the things I think about, and I could have great conversations with them...it was amazing). It was hard enough to move through those insecurities with just my own inner voice telling me I wasn't good enough. I wouldn't have been able to deal with it coming from the people I hung out with too. Left, right and centre, sheesh.

I hope he comes to that conclusion on his own too, buttercups. So often, people just won't, until somebody they care about makes the consequences very clear: "I'm not living like this. Things have to change." Easier to lay those ground rules before a relationship gets going than after it's already settled into routine, but not impossible, after. I'm so glad you told him you wouldn't hang out with the asswipes. If we don't protect ourselves, who will?

karategrrl, "dream guy" is right. That's the world I want to see, where even 50% of men listen and think about gender stereotypes, the damage they do, and how their own behaviour feeds them. And they don't just quietly go along with the shitty behaviour of men who think that being "men" means putting down women and criticizing their looks and making as many women within earshot as possible feel as shitty as possible. They speak up and tell them their ignorant, macho, carelessly or deliberately destructive words and actions are fucked up, not funny, smart, or impressive, and so "please don't do that here, thanks." Nothing is going to change until more men tell, and show, boys and other men that it's fucked up to think that "being a real man" just means fucking (over) as many women as possible.
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karategrrl
post Sep 30 2009, 07:46 AM
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QUOTE(anarch @ Sep 30 2009, 05:12 AM) *
He told you to not listen, but it doesn't occur to him to ask them to not talk like that around you? Or around him, for that matter, I mean, you're his gf so he finds you sexy, so why not call out their trash talking? But particularly since you were right there and he already knows this issue affects your self-esteem. Do you think he'd ever come around to seeing himself say to them, "Guys, I don't agree, and I don't want to hear it. Especially when buttercups is around. It lacks respect. So please cut that shit out around us. Thanks."

OMG, that's a dream guy you describe.

On the topic of the female professor, that's really disgusting and disappointing. Yeppers, for sure, many men are so fucking insecure that an attractive woman (or really ANY woman) in a place of authority drives them nuts to where they have to lower her (at least in their sicko little minds or in talk amongst themselves) to a 'bitch' or someone "who'd look cuter with something in her mouth." Typical, so sadly typical.

In the Sex and the City movie, remember the scene where the two women are looking for Halloween costumes in the drugstore, and the only ones available are "witches or sexy kittens?" What a profound bit a dialogue.
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buttercups
post Sep 30 2009, 05:23 AM
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Oh one more thing i forgot to add about the attractive female professor thing you mentioned, my sister is a young, attractive professor and she has had sooo many problems with students due to this issue, esp male students. They have made lewd comments and disrespected her authority on many occasions. One time last year a male student even tried to hug her when she was in her office and she was really taken aback and couldnt believe that a student would try to breach a boundary that way, bc it would never have happened with any of the male professors or older, more well-respected female professors. shit like that really pisses me off.
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buttercups
post Sep 30 2009, 05:16 AM
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Anarch that is exactly what I want- you nailed it right on the head! We've had so many fights before about him not sticking up for me in front of his tool academy friends. My bf is extremely non-confrontational, esp with his friends- to the point where I had to point out all the things theyve said to me right in front of him bc he didn't know what i was talking about whenever I would mention how mean they were to me. He also admitted to times when he knew he should stick up for me and he just didn't. Some of these boys are racist and they like to talk about jewish people even though they know im half jewish, for ex, and my bf has heard that shit too and also not said much of anything. Sick right? He says he wants to learn how to stick up for me but that it puts him in a hard place. And i'm trying not to be the bitchy girl that makes him choose me over his friends (even though i secretly feel like he should inside..). The point is that you're right, he does know that that kind of talk about "curves" affects me and he might be the only one in the room who knows i have small breasts bc i pad, but thats all the more reason for him to say something before i had to hear the rest of their asshole comments. it does make me angry, im just not sure what to do about it since i dont want to influence him and make him hate his friends, i guess i want him to come to the conclusion that theyre assholes all on his own..but idk if he ever will.
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anarch
post Sep 30 2009, 12:12 AM
Post #1899


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QUOTE(buttercups @ Sep 27 2009, 04:50 PM) *
listening to them spew their BS when they started talking about this professor at their school. They said they weren't physically attracted to her bc she was "thin with no curves whatsoever". My bf looked over and told me not to listen, but I can't shut off my damn ears! They continued to say how her curveless body was so unattractive but that maybe she could attract them intellectually on some small level, but that wouldn't make up for her lack of curves.


He told you to not listen, but it doesn't occur to him to ask them to not talk like that around you? Or around him, for that matter, I mean, you're his gf so he finds you sexy, so why not call out their trash talking? But particularly since you were right there and he already knows this issue affects your self-esteem. Do you think he'd ever come around to seeing himself say to them, "Guys, I don't agree, and I don't want to hear it. Especially when buttercups is around. It lacks respect. So please cut that shit out around us. Thanks."

I don't mean to diss your boyfriend, I mean I've gotten the impression IIRC that he's a sweetheart in many ways, it just bothers me. WTF are bfs for if they're not going to stick up for the women they love? I know I know, they're his friends. Yeccchhh.

On a different note, the fact that they're objectifying their female professor reminds me of this post from bitch phd, about male students who hate their prof because they're attracted to her.
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Allison-Shine
post Sep 29 2009, 04:25 PM
Post #1900


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QUOTE(Aithinne @ Sep 29 2009, 12:43 PM) *
I think it's about damn time that our culture change and include women with her figure as women. Every time I hear a male talk about how women who aren't naturally curvy are 'little boys', I want to scream, rip my hair out, and attack their penises until THEY look like LITTLE GIRLS. Then THEY can see how it fucking feels!!! Maybe then people can stop being so fucking insensitive and hurtful. mad.gif mad.gif mad.gif mad.gif

GRRRRRRRR. Sorry all.. This topic is so sensitive to me. It makes me incredibly angry. It makes my blood absolutely boil.



I used to think the labels that were attached to my slighter figure as being "girlish" or outright being called "a little girl" was bad enough. But "little boys" is indeed the lowest. Fortunately my body changed just enough to not worry about being called a little boy (well maybe when I was 13) and I hardly hear the "little girl" label from those tactless individuals as well. Of course I used to feel like a "little girl" until a few years ago, if affected me to the point where I would not shave my pubic area (but I would trim) since that's how I thought that I would look anyway.

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