[pollystyrene]

((aural)) She sounds like an amazing woman. You're so lucky to have had someone like that in your life.

[girltrouble]

(((((ap)))))
so sorry aural...

[auralpoison]

And the hits just keep on comin'.

My grandmother died tonight. She lived a long life, had five kids she loved dearly, scores of grandkids, & now great-grandkids. While benevolent, she was also tough as nails & administered more than a few good whuppins' in her day. She was an amazing cook. She laughed easily & smiled frequently, as long as she had her teeth in. There was always gum or hard candy or a mint in her purse, & always a couple quarters for when the ice cream man came by. She dressed with class, her Sunday best was always top-notch. She was hands down one of the most beautiful women I've ever known. Even in passing she still looked regal. I will never forget where my name came from, grandma, nor what it stands for. I love you, I will miss you.

It's fucked up. She called me just last week to see how I was doing after I got out of the hospital. When I was in she came & visited with me every day & even hurling up my guts I tried to make her laugh. She had a really great laugh & she laughed with her whole body.

ETA, My heart is broken.

[MsYuefie]

((((pherber)))) I know how the lack of time to grieve one death before another happens can knock the wind out of you.

((((threehugger))))

((((grieving BUSTies)))))

hugs all around.

[pherber]

Thanks jan!!!

[i_am_jan]

Just reading through the posts here. Wanted to tell everyone I'm thinking of them. Best wishes to everyone as she moves through the healing process. Keep faith. ((((hugs)))))

[pherber]

I'm probably turning this thread into a personal blog-

I've lost someone else. AGAIN!

They don't give me a few months grieving time anymore.

The cities coolest, campest, queerest, funniest, loveliest, most endearing old faggott (his word!) died.

I'm so devastated.

He always used to say (insert camp voice) "I hate butt sex, I'm more into cuddling!"

Everyone in town loved him, EVERYONE!!
He was just so fucking endearing!
He was a legend round here, and a true original.
He always had a young hot lover in tow.
He had such a big fucking heart of gold, I know it sounds tacky, but it's true.
I loved him so much.





I'm drunk, and I can't stop crying.

[auralpoison]

((((((Pherber)))))) & ((((((Treehugger))))))

[pherber]

Aawww! ((((treehugger)))) thanks!

Sorry I had to peek in your profile, to read your other posts, because I missed this bit with your mum.
You really have my greatest sympathy!

When people tried to comfort me, they often said, at least they died quickly.
I thought they were a bit cynical, but really it is a blessing not suffering for ages, while knowing, it will only get worse.
I often wished I knew before someone is going to die, because I always missed the chance to say good-bye and telling people how much they mean to me.
I realize how selfish that is.

[treehugger]

(((pherber)))) thank you for coming back and sharing this with us. I myself will soon need this thread (my mom)...and I hope you can find peace with what your friend did.

[pherber]

Yeh, since I already derailed the "so-and-so just died" thread, and everyone's been so kind to me anyways, I feel a bit intimidated posting here... I'm not used to getting much attention.

The thing is too many people died in the last years, my best friend, and probably only real and close friend, died in 2004.
Another friend and my aunt died last year, now the suicide, I mentioned in the other thread, and another friend is struggling with cancer.
Plus some other relatives, and friends of my family, who died of alcoholism, heart attacks, or suicide.
I can't even fucking count them anymore...
The guy, who hung himself is the FIFTH person, I knew in my life who did that, this is clearly not normal, is it???

My mom said it's normal as you get older, you see more people die, but I'm not even 40, yet!

Sorry, if I depressed anyone here.
And please, don't worry about me, I'm OKish, just a little bleh.
*sighs*

[humanist77]

bump

[auralpoison]

*bump* for those that need it.

[jami]

HeYa AP.
so sorry about your mom. I haven't seen this thread in awhile. didn't know.
((((AP))))
you did good doing the eulogy. it's a hard one to get thru. you're a strong lady.
remember the good stuff.

my mom passed away on the 15th. I came back to CA to take care of the stuff you take care of. we had the memorial on the 28th. we had nearly everybody say something about mom. from the ebay and yardsale friends to the punks who thanked her for a home, her sisters to her grandboys - all in all it was really good. tears and laughter. and lots and lots of hugs.

on my way back to divorce.city in two days. a foot of snow. two degrees. brrr.

[fbgirl987]

Hi AP...I am relatively new here and haven't posted in this section before but I came across your posting and wanted to give you my condolences. My father passed away last October and I know how devastating it is. It is especially difficult to see how people act in times like this...my dad's sisters were a real pain when he passed away and I have since had minimal contact with them because of it.
You seem like a strong, level-headed woman and I hope you are able to lean on those close to you in times like this and take care of yourself.
And, as I am sure some of us can agree, you will find one day, something will trigger a memory and instead of a tear, you will smile. And you'll know your mother is watching over you.

Take care and if you need anything let me know.

xo

[nickclick]

(((ap)))) i'm just catching up. please accept my condolences. and wow. you are very brave and strong. keep it going!

[katiebelle2882]

AP- I think we all know how strong and amazing you always have been, so the fact that you managed to eulogize your own mother doesnt surprise me bc you are a fantastic human being. I am sure you more than did your mother justice in it and I am sure she is proud, wherever she is now. I can't imagine what you are going through and all I can do is offer you my condolences (I wish it was more). I also hope you dont have to keep dealing with selfish people who cant manage to keep their mouth shut in a time like this.(((((((AP)))))))

[MsYuefie]

(((((AP))))) major, major props to you. It is beyond hard to eulogize your own mother. I know because I couldn't do it. As much as I wanted to and had tons of things to say, I couldn't get a word out. So my sis took over for me, and I still feel sort of shitty about it. My bff Shannon did her mothers and it was amazing.

I think you rule, babe.

[kittenb]

{{{auralpoison}}}

[auralpoison]

Thanks again, ya'll.

I did it. I can't believe I did it, but I did. I gave a damned good eulogy today. Damned good. I'm really proud of myself. AP didn't fuck up for a change. I did honor to her memory.