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> BustSecret: Ordinary Confessions from Extraordinary Busties
girltrouble
post Dec 22 2006, 04:36 PM
Post #4361


new highs in personal lows daily!
***
Posts: 4,307
From: wherever ink is put in skin...


oh god, erinj, me too. i sooooo miss kissing. i've been tempted to kiss my ex, which i really shouldn't do, because i really can't see dating her again,


--------------------

"what a swell farewell party! we said goodbye to everything, including the lining in my stomach." - garvey, from the film, born bad

"That's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted." --margo channing, all about eve
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tyger
post Dec 22 2006, 01:50 PM
Post #4362


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 948


i didn't let myself really like my boyfriend until i met my best friend's girlfriend-type thing (she's from out of town) and decided she didn't make me feel insecure in my relationship with him.

and i still honestly can't think of any reason for my boyfriend to like me
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erinjane
post Dec 21 2006, 10:04 AM
Post #4363


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,301
From: Winnipeg


Confession: I'm really starting to miss being kissed.


--------------------
I Could Tell You Stories That Would Make Your Ears Curl
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pollystyrene
post Dec 21 2006, 09:02 AM
Post #4364


Too many mutha uckas, Uckin' with my shi-
***
Posts: 4,631
From: Chicago


Ha, same thing going on here, Rose. When I was doing Weight Watchers, I got a WW cookbook specifically for 2-portion meals. I think they sell most of those in regular bookstores, and I think I've seen other ones similar. Le Boy just has no concept of portion control- that "deck of cards" sized meat portion? Ha! And there's only like 2 non-starchy vegetables he'll eat in any significant quantity, so doing the "half of your plate should be vegetables" thing gets boring fast for him FAST.

His brother lost about 60 pounds doing a "Biggest Loser" type competition with his friends in the past year. They all put in $50 and after 10 weeks, whoever lost the greatest percentage of weight got the pot. I think his brother won, he's kept it off, but wants to lose more. They're doing it again this coming year, starting the week after the Super Bowl. They're calling it the "2nd Annual Chris Farley Memorial Weight Loss Competition" Le Boy has been invited to join, but I worry that he'll just skip meals to lose the weight, which is somewhat effective for him (it would kill me! If I don't eat when I'm hungry I become very crabby. And you wouldn't like me when I'm crabby.) I'm thinking of doing the thing with his brother, too, because I don't think only one of us can be on it. I'll at least make a concerted effort to go back to my healthier eating habits. At least I have some idea of what that entails. Le Boy is going to be in for quite a shock!

Ok, back to confessions!


--------------------
You went to school where you were taught to fear and to obey, be cheerful, fit in, or someone might think you're weird.
Life can be perfect. People can be trusted. Someday, I will fall in love; a nice quiet home of my very own.
Free from all the pain. Happy and having fun all the time.
It never happened, did it?
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chachaheels
post Dec 21 2006, 08:48 AM
Post #4365


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,749
From: allover, wherever, unsettled


I hear it's really great for the sex-life if you and your hubby or partner exercise together, as a routine.

I keep trying to tempt M. ChaCha with that line, just because I always feel a lot more motivated if I have someone to work out with. Alone, it's a bit of a drag to push myself to get there: but with a partner you have someone ready to kick your ass because you do the same for them when they're slacking.

So far, he's sticking to his guns. He refuses to work out with anyone. Hence the fact that things are actually changing, only far more slowly than I'd like them to. See, neither one of us is actually suffering any changes in terms of health--but quality of life is definitely not the same. Before I got married, I cross country ski'd, I walked everywhere, I danced a lot, I did a lot of physical artwork too-sculpting and painting. I had a lot of stamina and strength. Now, I don't think I can spare the energy!

RoseV, I hope to heck you don't smoke--that's how I started the cooking thing. That was fine until he stopped smoking too. That, plus marriage, equals incredible rates of expansion.


--------------------
May suitable doses of guaranteed sensual pleasure and slow, long-lasting enjoyment preserve us from the contagion of the multitude who mistake frenzy for efficiency.
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roseviolet
post Dec 21 2006, 07:33 AM
Post #4366


Pacifism kicks ass!
***
Posts: 3,064


Chacha, you've nailed it. He's gained weight, too. Neither of us get enough exercise. And another part of the problem is that I'm bored in our new place most of the time & I've taken up cooking as a hobby. And I'm getting a little too good at it! On top of that, most recipes are made for 4 people or more. So there are portion control issues - especially for him. He can easily eat twice as much as I do at dinner & then go back later for ice cream. So we're both starting to feel self-conscious & uncomfortable in our skin. sad.gif

Oddly enough, both of my brothers went through similar phases of gaining weight, although both of them put on more than 20 pounds (one brother gained nearly 100!). Eventually both of them realized that their health was going WAY downhill, so they started exercising & lost all of the weight. But now this means that I am the out-of-shape kid in the family! My brothers run and ride bikes and what do I do? I sit on my butt & watch The Food Network. And I don't have the motivation to get up & fix this on my own. Hence, the desire for a personal trainer who will come to the house and force me to work out!
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sybarite
post Dec 21 2006, 06:30 AM
Post #4367


it's cards on the table time
***
Posts: 1,993


Even though I'm surrounded by loving family for christmas this year I secretly want to spend the holiday entirely alone with a bunch of DVDs and good homemade pasta. Failing that I want to spend christmas in a corner reading a book.

I'm concerned about my boyf but he is driving me absolutely crazy.

I'm worried my dad has morphed into a domestic unit of two and will be no fun and too worried about arrangements etc to relax and be himself.

I hope I can spend next xmas in a hot country somewhere, just me and the mister, and read books all day.
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chachaheels
post Dec 21 2006, 05:32 AM
Post #4368


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,749
From: allover, wherever, unsettled


Oh, Rosie, I know how you feel about the inflation upon marriage. I know it happened to me! Has it happened to your hubby too? It did to mine. It's like we cook for a dinner party, but usually it's just the two of us. All my attempts at locating measuring tools in visible, accessible spots in the kitchen have just gone ignored.

I'm working on it now, though. It's just not turning around fast enough some days, but it is turning around.



--------------------
May suitable doses of guaranteed sensual pleasure and slow, long-lasting enjoyment preserve us from the contagion of the multitude who mistake frenzy for efficiency.
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roseviolet
post Dec 20 2006, 10:47 PM
Post #4369


Pacifism kicks ass!
***
Posts: 3,064


Today I stepped on a scale for the first time in a long time. That's when I discovered that I have gained nearly 20 pounds in the last 20 months. It's as if I started inflating the second I got married. Bleeeeeeh.

I wish that I could afford a great personal trainer. A really really great one. And I wish that the trainer would come to my house every day to work with me instead of forcing me to join a gym. And I wish that the trainer would cook for us and be extra encouraging and help me lose 20 pounds in, like, 6 weeks like all of those people on Extreme Makeover.

I don't want to be skinny. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin again.
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runningwestward
post Dec 20 2006, 04:31 PM
Post #4370


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 266
From: Vancouver


My life has done a complete 180 in the past year. From just running my life into the ground with my irresponsibilty and an I don't care attitude to being uber fit and disciplined and employed. Plus I got engage a little over a week ago to someone I met 7 months ago. I feel like I'm watching someone else's life. It's a great life don't get me wrong. This girl has a Master's, a job that suits her, a fantastic fiance, a promising race season ahead, and a pile of great friends and training partners. But it still feels like I'm watching someone else from outside the window and I feel jealous of her and I wonder what she's done to deserve it. It just doesn't feel real. I don't think I'm good enough for all of this. I feel like I'm waiting for something to go wrong so that it feels normal again.
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ginger_kitty
post Dec 19 2006, 07:24 PM
Post #4371


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,237


I confess I can't wait for Thursday b/c I it's my last day at work until next year. smile.gif

I am probably going to get sappy around New Years and make a bunch resolutions that I will never keep.

My husband made me try Spam and I didn't hate it.

Streakers make me laugh.


(((Treehugger))), I really don't have a problem with euthanasia, it seems very humane to me. Maybe someday it will be legal. I was only about 13 when my grandfather died, but he had cancer and watching him suffer was horrible.


--------------------
-We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

-What we think, we become.
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wombat
post Dec 19 2006, 05:39 PM
Post #4372


Dragon Velocity
***
Posts: 1,044
From: Rattland


I feel like I'd better get more specific about what I wrote so people on Bust or IRL who I know don't think it's about them. Cause -- that's easy to do. I do it. I've done it.

So:

/thing rather like Bluto pretending to be a "zit" by blowing potatoes out of his mouth, which you can *skip* if you want!

My mom was the most insincere person ever. She was all kind of sweet to people in person, but after she hung up the phone with someone she would launch into a "why does that idiot call me" kind of thing, which makes me a bit paranoid about calling people!! She also was really conceited about her looks and her weight and her antiques and her father from Switzerland. But he was abusive and she smoked too much, and I think either back pain caused her depression or depression caused her back pain. She always saw the bad side of everything. She had practically nothing but criticism and dismissal of me and everything I did.

She was even meaner to my sister, who got very cold and just withdrew from the family. My sister was all about "Men all want me, women all hate me." She did not want me to have boyfriends or friends or anything and would scream bloody murder when my parents gave me any attention. She spent her whole life being all about money and being the one to get "the guy the rest of them want but *I* have him." She would not even call back to the house after she got married.

SOOOOOO, it would be easy for me to say "I don't like women" especially as the bully girl in Junior High school was this blonde with black eyeliner that was the one that all the guys wanted, and the formerly dorky and prissy girls who formerly would have called her a slut all kissed her ass and took whatever she handed out to them just so they would get her cast-off guys. Ow.

I can't say "I don't like women" because I realize -- I'm one too!!

Besides, there were always really cool women and girls in my neighborhood, my best wacky intelligent tomboy friends and "mad scientist" and "eccentric poet" and "bohemian art teachers" and stuff!

But I find myself really liking some of my current friends and work mates and wondering wtf with the rest, which was the source of my outburst there. I just finished a freelance job in which this girl was just a total pain in the ass! You'd think she would be a bustie type, she's got big thick glasses and is into rock and roll and is ferociously intelligent. But she is just a total snob butthole to everyone else at the job, except for sucking up to the boss and talking against her co-workers. I know what you're thinking. "There's always one, just ride it out, the boss will see through her, don't worry about it." Yet, I did have to worry about being de facto more awkward and slow which always happens until you get up to speed, and with her talking smack about me, the boss might think I'm someone who never does catch on. Um, no.

Then, friend of a friend Sue is in the same career I am, and she's been a jerk about it forever. I just don't do things like trying to make someone feel bad. I figure there is more than enough crap to go around, we may as well support each other. I told her I got a job in "Presitigious Company" and she said "well I worked there a few years ago and it sucks to work there any way!" ???

And another one just drives me nuts because, even though she has some good points, she is always trying to do things the exact perfect way. I can literally not do or say anything without being disputed. And yet, this person is knit into my social network.

Fack.

I feel like just telling them to take a flying leap. I also feel like, well, I'm not perfect either and what if I'm just stressed right now b/c I'm changing my life -- so, oversenstive? I also wonder if I seek out these people because my female relatives were a PITA, or they look at me and see some secret SIGN, or if I'm too subservient at first and then too angry later, or if I attract them because I'm the same, or whether it is actually some weird compliment that they are threatened because they see me as an equal and it is just competition, or whether everybody's like that and I should just buck up.

/end potato spewing to some extent!!

I dunno. Fun is what I want. But when I went out and just made little quips and laughed a lot, people thought I was a moron. I've learned to brag, even though I think it's obnoxious.

Is this just Boston or just New England or the city? I do not know.

i just wish I had the home team advantage. i.e. my own family should have been on my side, and not ripping on me when I was a child and clumsy and needy as all children are.

FACK!!


--------------------
Lion-hearted
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flanker_ji
post Dec 19 2006, 03:07 PM
Post #4373


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 529
From: Santa Rosa, CA


My addiction: coffee. I try every day to not have any because I think it makes me more anxious and easily stressed. The past couple weeks have not gone so well. I guess I'm doing the best I can.

Also: cocaine scares me too. It is very addictive.

Off to make some coffee now...


--------------------
"Patience is a virtue, but I don't have the time..."
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zoya
post Dec 19 2006, 09:29 AM
Post #4374


uh huh.
***
Posts: 1,818
From: the world.


kayte -

count me in as a fellow woman in a male dominated career. It's such a f**king boys' club, I too want to just blow them all up sometimes. Just keep it up. I'm learning it's not an easy thing to be a groundbreaker, but hopefully it will help other women out in the future!


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dusty
post Dec 19 2006, 09:06 AM
Post #4375


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,617
From: Toronto


(((Treehugger))) I always assumed that with smoking, dying was the worst thing that could happen to you, but when my mom died of emphysema, I thought that it was the living with it that was worse.
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treehugger
post Dec 19 2006, 07:43 AM
Post #4376


cryostat bitch
***
Posts: 1,717


kayte,

as a fellow woman in a male dominated career/educational path.....i know exactly how you feel. Show em up. smile.gif

Confession: if euthanasia were even remotely legal and I knew I wouldn't go to jail...I'd be helping mom to pass on. Her life is so sucky now with very, very minimal (try no) chance of improvement. I can tell she's soooo frustrated at not being able to do the things she used to. She was always so independent and strong willed...this is killing her.

(alzheimers AND macular degeneration AND a slow growing brain tumor making her lose her hearing)

geez. I had nightmares about her all night.


--------------------
To block Steve's latest incarnation, Click Here.
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girltrouble
post Dec 19 2006, 12:59 AM
Post #4377


new highs in personal lows daily!
***
Posts: 4,307
From: wherever ink is put in skin...


kayte-- you rock! that is so awesome. fuck those fuckers. you're all ready kickin' their ass just by getting better grades than them. them starting rumors is the only way they can deflate their limp egos.



***
i always expect my friends to disappear after a few years. no one has really lasted long in my life, even family, so i rarely call them. i was hanging out with one of my friends tonight, and i swear, everytime we hang out, i think, why does she call me? funny thing is, i think this about all of my friends when we hang out. i really am amazed any one would. i'm not an asshole, it just seems weird to me. when i extend myself, i get burnt. i am very quick to cut off friends too. i just have very little faith in people.


--------------------

"what a swell farewell party! we said goodbye to everything, including the lining in my stomach." - garvey, from the film, born bad

"That's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted." --margo channing, all about eve
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go_kayte
post Dec 18 2006, 08:57 PM
Post #4378


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 189


I had a bit of a problem with vicodin and other opiates (oxycontin, methadone) several years ago... Oxy & vicodin I think are like the crack of the intellectual musician types in my circle. I still find myself, whenever someone mentions one of these, involuntarily asking how much per pill even though I haven't done it in years. It doesn't seem bad because they're pharmaceutical and you don't have to shoot or snort anything, but it was quite a problem for me for a while. It still is a big problem with a lot of my friends unfortunately.


My next confession: I go to school for electrical engineering, which is a boy's club. There's about 1 female for every 10-15 boys in the program, and only two female professors. I say boys because they are crude, immature jocky nerdy little boys. I know jocky and nerdy seem to contradict each other, but somehow these boys are the worst of both. There are some good ones, but they're outnumbered by the horrible ones. Once last semester there was a rumor going around that I was sleeping with a professor, because that's obviously the only way I could be getting an A in the class. This semester I was accused of somehow stealing all of the jobs in the engineering field due to affirmative action. Anyway, being surrounded by these sexist assholes every day turns me all Valerie Solanas. I want to punish all men because I have to put up with these ones. I know of course that this is an illogical way of thinking but it's more of an emotional reaction that I can't seem to control. During class I have fantasies about kicking the living shit out of some of the particularly awful boys. And I'm not a violent person.
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crazyoldcatlady
post Dec 18 2006, 08:34 PM
Post #4379


the moistiest
***
Posts: 1,700
From: here. in my head.


QUOTE
I hate smoking as a habit. I see people smoke all the time. I hate it when it blows into my face, I hate the smell of it, I hate stepping on cigarette butts all the time, and I hate that my sister still smokes despite attempts to quit. It's a disgusting habit


i agree, anna. it's just foul. it smells, it's unbecoming.

*and yet, i had two on the way home. i've been trying to cultivate a habit because i'm all out of coping mechanisms (healthy and unhealthy), and it's the only legal thing i can do to keep my shit together right now.

*i'm beginning to not give a flying fuck. and i can't wait til i bottom out, because i'm beginning to realize that the less i care the more free i am.

*i'm salty that i missed wife swap tonight because i was still at work.
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doodlebug
post Dec 18 2006, 07:29 PM
Post #4380


I know it's only rock 'n' roll. But I like it.
***
Posts: 7,808
From: a riverbank in BC, Canada


Funny you say that, cha cha. For me, as an ex-smoker (6 years), I can refuse when someone offers, easily, so I don't have to avoid situations. I prefer hanging out with the smokers at meeting breaks! (Everybody inside is still working, but the smokers are outside talking about all the interesting shit.) But I also know how instantly I will be addicted again, just as soon as I smoke one little cigarette...it'll be two packs a day in no time, cigarellos, and hey, I never got to try cigars last time! So it keeps me from saying yes, every time. And also from buying smokes at the twice-monthly twinge of nicotine lust.

After watching my father die in 2000 from pneumonia (literally watching, to his last breath), and knowing he'd been a smoker from ages 10 - 74, I somehow persuaded myself to quit forever.

DEMON NICOTINE!!!

As goddess is my witness, I will NEVER chew Nicorette AGAIN!


--------------------
Check out my band's new demo online! You can DL my original....and please fan up if ya like it!
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