[angie_21]

You all are awesome, intelligent, amazing women and I have so much respect for your thoughts and writing. Keep it up!

I agree. This is an awesome place to hang out and an awesome group of people to chat with, I wouldn't want to do anything to change that!

[Persephone3]

No, Angie, I don't think I say things better than you, or anyone else. I definitely could not have done a better job than your last post in calming the waters and clarifying without arguing or being defensive. And thank you for doing it!

I agree with this too. Yes, thank you Angie.

[strongirl]

No, Angie, I don't think I say things better than you, or anyone else. I definitely could not have done a better job than your last post in calming the waters and clarifying without arguing or being defensive. And thank you for doing it!

In a way, I regret my original post and wish I could take it back. I didn't mean to criticize other posters on here as much as just express my own emotional reaction to seeing my friend suffer from pain and disability caused by her breasts that she cannot control, at least not without surgery, then looking at our (not your...our...I'm just as guilty as anyone and tried to express that in my original post) extensive investment of time, energy, and emotion in an issue that is simply about appearance. In that context, I still think the word "vain" is applicable. I don't mean it as an insult to any of you, it just seems like an honest word.

My mother has this old saying "I cried because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet." It was one of those moments, for me, when I just honestly felt bad about how much emotional investment I, and we, make in our looks and it felt like in this forum we'd lost a bit of perspective lately, where rather than regard the issue as just one part of our lives that could use some psychological self-improvement, we were saying that it was an issue beyond our control that was ruining our lives. My friend's problems are beyond her control and ruining her life. Ours aren't, unless we let them.

I agree with Angie - vanity in the sense of caring about one's appearance and tending to it is a human quality. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I know I care about my looks and enjoy them! The point I was trying to make, and obviously didn't make very well, is that balance matters. When you lose that balance, you end up overemphasizing your looks and potentially making yourself miserable if they don't measure up. To then blame that misery on others and to feel that it has no remedy, seems counterproductive to me. Which is not to say I do not fall into it - I have, and I do, but much much less than I used to, because of changes I have made in my own head. I read and post here to help reinforce those positive changes for myself, and to try to help others do likewise.

I guess this has been good in that it's forced me to re-evaluate why I do hang out here and whether I want to continue doing so. I do...but I'll probably be spending less time here and more time on other things that matter to me in life. Taking my own advice, in other words. Just wanted to say that so no one thinks I'm pouting. You all are awesome, intelligent, amazing women and I have so much respect for your thoughts and writing. Keep it up!

[angie_21]

Persephone, no hurt felt & I don't think your words were any harsher than mine, though I did not mean anything past that first sentence specifically towards you. And I definitely wasn't meaning to be sarcastic (And I never thought you were either! stupid internet and its lack of clarity). I do genuinely feel compassion for all the small sisters on this board, especially those who have been hurt and are dealing with emotional difficulties because of their bodies. If I didn't care about how people here flet, it would be retarded for me to be spending time here in the first place. But I also do feel that focusing on the solution is better than focusing on the problem, and sometimes it gets me down to read so much negativity about small breasts, and sometimes relatively little positivity, all posted in one day. I get a bit angry that so many girls feel that way about their bodies, partly because of how horrible it is that society fuels these problems, and partly because we allow ourselves to buy into it. And I vented about it.

I guess maybe one thing I should say is that I don't consider vanity to be 100% a bad thing, it's a human thing. I was meaning it as overemphasis on one's physical appearance, not too much pride in one's physical appearance, so maybe that added to the misunderstanding. I may be vain sometimes when I buy new clothes or lingere or dress up for a night out, and I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. As with all other "sins" vanity is only a bad thing when you let it take up too much of your life. I know I've posted as much about clothes and whatever as anyone else here, and I didn't mean I think that no one should talk about un-feminist things of something like that. Just that I do think we should try to keep it balanced between the positivity and the negativity. And it bugs me to hear small-breasted girls put themselves down, because then they are putting down everyone else on this message board.

In the end, I am a very strong believer in the power of self and human agency. We have choices about how we view our bodies, and whether or not to stand up to social conventions. Sure sometimes it's hard, but that doens't mean we should just give in. That's where I was going with saying there can be a little too much "woe is me, I have small boobies" sometimes. When I said "pity party" it was entirely in reference this (judge my use of those words as much as you want lol) and not in reference to physical and emotional abuse that people on this board have suffered.

As always strongirl says it better than I can.

I guess it's legit if people want to just vent and get support along the lines of "Oh, I agree! It totally sucks being small-breasted!" But that's not really what I'm into - for me, it just doesn't seem constructive and seems only to reinforce the damage caused by society, in a sense, letting the bastards win. Why choose that instead of choosing to empower yourself, to work on your issues and, as recently mentioned, live well as the "best revenge"?

Yes, that was what I meant. We shouldn't be victimizing ourselves when there's nothing wrong with us in the first place.

Buttercups, you seem like an intelligent, thoughtful girl and I can see that you are working so hard to overcome your fears and self-judgement (and the cruel words of family and friends now and then too). Just rmember that sometimes you have to take a break from "working" on it, and just be yourself regardless of your chest size or any other aspects of your body. I know, there's no magic button to turn those negative thoughts off (I have chronic anxiety, I know!), but remember, the goal is to love your body for what it is, not despite what it is. I'm glad you're here and have found a safe place to work everything out for yourself, and I do hope I didn't say anything to make you feel less safe or free here!

[Persephone3]

To Strongirl:
In my response to Angie_21, I was not sure if she capitalized the word 'very' with sarcastic undertones or not. That is why I brought it up. I also wanted to make sure that it was understood that my original response to your friend (the one with the back problems) was not taken as sarcasm.

I'm also curious, what were the harsh words directed at Angie? Do you think words like vanity and whiny are harsh? This is not meant to be argumentative, I'm genuinly curious as to what you think. I would hate for anyone to go away due to harsh words, because I feel this message board has been over-all very warm and supportive.

Aithinne - I didn't think your post came off as sarcastic. I also don't believe the word vanity fits here. I looked up the definition (since that word seems to be the issue) and it is defined as: the excessive belief in one's own abilities or attractiveness to others. Again, I just don't feel vanity applies here.

My intention here is not to argue. My response to her was in reaction to her response to me. It was never my intention to be hurtful to anyone, so if I came off that way, then I'm very sorry.

[Aithinne]

Btw, thanks Allison-Shine. It's not my real name actually, but I took the name Aithinne here because it was a character in a book I really identified with. In the book, Aithinne is constantly comparing herself with her cousin who she thinks is perfect in every way. She doesn't think she measures up and feels that no one will care about her or love her if they see her cousin and be found second-rate. She kind of hides away for fear of being found less than and living a life of mediocre. I guess I identified with her struggle to believe in herself, her uncertainty that someone would want just her even after they see the perfection of her cousin.

Kind of the head space I was in when I joined Bust.

[Aithinne]

I wasn't being sarcastic either. I promise. I'm actually interested in the line between vain and confidence or lack of confidence. I'm sorry if it did come across as sarcastic. Didn't mean it that way.

I've wondered about whether I'm vain too when I'm looking in the mirror or thinking about my boobies or any other body part that culture would deem less than perfect. I think everyone is vain to some extent, but whether it takes over your life or not is when a person can get into trouble and be either arrogant or in the dregs of low self confidence.

I am incredibly thankful that I've never experienced any sexual violence or assault. I'm often grateful I have managed to escape that thus far in my life.

But, this forum is the only place I have to talk about how I feel and to help me with my problems BECAUSE I feel vain talking about them with other people. Here I can talk about things that truly bother me without feeling like I'm the most selfish person in the world. NO ONE else knows about how I feel about my body. I've never even talked to my parents ONCE about my body issues and my insecurities because I don't feel comfortable being vulnerable and don't want to feel like I'm spewing a whole lot of stupid. So, sure, I will say that I'm probably expressing vanity when I post here, but since it's the only place I have for support where I feel comfortable and safe enough to discuss my body issues, then I don't care much about whether I'm being a little vain.

We've all got problems. Some of us have much bigger problems in the case of sexual assault and such, but they're still problems. And I think it helps and we deserve a place to express ourselves about our feelings. I don't think reaching out for help and support is vain.

[strongirl]

First of all, I'm sure that Angie_21's capitalization of "VERY" was not sarcasm. In all of her posts, she's been consistently thoughtful and caring and has gone to great lengths to share with others the things that have helped her improve her body image and come to terms with being small-breasted. I'm certain her comment was sincere, not sarcastic and not intended to hurt. I hope the harsh words directed at her do not make her go away because her posts have helped a lot of people, including me. Just the advice she gave below re. wearing a miniskirt when everyone else is wearing jeans is invaluable!

Aithinne's comment: "Please explain so we all can avoid posting vain replies on this forum." Now that strikes me as sarcastic! But it's still a legitimate issue, so I'll take it on. I was using the word "vain" to mean overemphasizing appearance - one can do that and have either high or low self-esteem around it. I've wrestled over the years with where to draw that line. Here is an analogy: I recall the fights among feminists during the late 70's and early 80's when some women were in "support groups" agonizing over whether to stop shaving their legs and armpits, while other women were starting rape crisis hotlines and going "Hello! We don't care about your leg hair but could you come help us deal with some real violence out here, please!" The crisis hotline women had a valid point: pressure to be hairless is a trivial issue compared to violence against women! But the other women had a valid point also: cultural ideals about appearance can be so pervasive and internalized that they can have a major effect on our lives without our even realizing it. The only way to even "see" it sometimes is to put it under a microscope. That is part of what I think we do in this forum and why I participate in it.

I guess I do see this board as "therapy", in the sense that people can voice their problems and then try to figure out how to deal with them or get past them or at least to a better place, with the help of others who have been there, how to actually heal from the injuries rather than just complain together. I guess it's legit if people want to just vent and get support along the lines of "Oh, I agree! It totally sucks being small-breasted!" But that's not really what I'm into - for me, it just doesn't seem constructive and seems only to reinforce the damage caused by society, in a sense, letting the bastards win. Why choose that instead of choosing to empower yourself, to work on your issues and, as recently mentioned, live well as the "best revenge"? I think that's what Angie was saying and I agree with it.

And for me, it really hasn't sucked being small-breasted. So I think I've used this forum as a way to analyze why it hasn't sucked so much for me, to reinforce my own thought processes and life choices in order to strengthen my own mental health (which I do not take for granted) and to hopefully in the process help others deal with the same issues and the same society. I like the process of people helping other people, for free, and find that I benefit both from reading others' experiences, struggles, and wisdom, but also from being forced to examine and articulate my own perspectives. Buttercups, I thought it was really cool the way you jumped in to support Cutenotsexy, below. That is how I see the benefit of this forum - we all try to get good stuff from it, and to pass that good stuff on. When we help others, we benefit ourselves, too.

So I apologize if I made anyone feel bad with my criticisms - it wasn't my intent to cause hurt or anger or make anyone feel like they should censor themselves. But I do feel it is in our best interests to step back and get some perspective on the relative importance/un-importance of this issue, to avoid perpetuating or being stuck in our own victimization, and to have gratitude for bodies that are healthy and yes, sexy, if we only let ourselves see them that way.

P.S. Buttercups, your lingerie sounds totally HOT! Enjoy!

[Allison-Shine]

My concerns about my chest are defintely not about vantiy, that's for sure. Vain is never a word to describe me and no one else has considered me to be as well. I think AA-A cup women wishing for a little bit more is not unreasonable, crazy or vain. Maybe I am a borderline case for this forum/group being a B but my personal experiences justify my concerns and needs.


Aithinne, I really like your name, even though I can't really pronounce it, LOL.

[Aithinne]

You know, I've always wondered where the line was between vain and high or low self-esteem. At what point are people who obsess about their bodies in one way or another, vain instead of simply lacking confidence? Or what about how a person is supposed to get over low self-esteem about their bodies... Are they vain to start looking in the mirror and speaking positive words about what they see instead of negative self-hate? Is it vanity for legit emotional problems? What the heck is included when we use the word 'vanity'?

I've always been confused about this. Please explain so we all can avoid posting vain replies on this forum.

[buttercups]

Before i delve into anything else, I just wanted to say that I went shopping for something sexy for my trip tomorrow and though it was difficult to find things as small as I need them, I was able to find like a black lace nighty that has no cups or anything so it just fits like a cami but its flowy and see-thru. I got it from H&M if anyones ever in need of something inexpensive and hot. It was $25. I'm not sure how I feel about how I look in it bc it doesn't have any shape to the chest area or anything so I look 100% natural ( and I'm pretty sure that this new BC pill shrunk my chest from a AA to a AAA) but I'll keep everyone posted..

Cutenotsexy- my problem exactly!! I know just how you feel and I have trouble listening to my bf too. I can't say I'm at the point where I believe what he says about me, but I'm at least trying to be more open to the idea and that's a starting place. Next time your bf compliments you about your breasts dont make a face or call him a liar or anything, just accept the compliment. Even if you dont believe it yourself yet just keep accepting his positivity-that's what ive been trying to do.

On the whole perspective issue, I def agree that things can sound vain and self-absorbed, but that's actually the exact problem ive been having with people in my life not understanding this issue. I am extremely grateful for the fact that my body is overall healthy and I know that having a really small chest is not the end of the world. However, as much as I can tell myself that letting stupid breasts impact my life this much is ridiculous, I don't think it's something that can be stopped by mere desire- bc I have wanted to stop thinking about my body this way for a very very long time. My emotions about my breasts are real and the way it impacts my life is also real. Sure in comparison to cancer it is utter BS, but that doesn't stop my feelings from being real and genuine. I look up to everyone here who has come to terms with their body and now loves themselves and I do think I will get there one day, but if you cant come here to talk about this problem then where can you? I know I've been negative and down on myself a lot on here to the point where many people might find it vain, but part of the reason why I also share some of my worst thoughts about myself are because I know everyone here will give me great advice and help me to reach acceptance. Angie_21 I agree that everyone can change the way they think about themselves, but part of overcoming the body negativity can be expressing it in a safe place and then having others help to lift you up and show you new sides to a situation that you hadnt seen yourself. This board has really helped me with that and while it shouldn't be a total pity party, I think this should be a place for people to show their insecurities so we can all help each other with them. We have good and bad days, and should share both with each other. I would hate to think that I'd have to censor myself on one of the few places I've found where I can be completely upfront about some of my feelings that other people in my life may dismiss as trivial..

[Persephone3]

Hello Angie, I hope my response does not come off as argumentative. I've seen a lot of message boards just get insulting, and of course that is not my intention. But I do feel very emphatic in my response, so here goes:

Persephone, I could say the exact same thing about the girls here, I am VERY sorry you all have such emotional difficulties

I get the impression the you felt that I capitalized 'VERY' as being sarcastic. That is not true. I wanted to portray that I truly felt sorry for anyone's suffering. I get the feeling that in your response 'VERY' was meant to be sarcastic.

I'm sorry, letting small boobs change how you live your life is a bit vain and self-absorbed.

Really? You know so much about my life? Or anyone elses life? Do you really believe that calling women, who may have self esteem issues, 'vain and self absorbed' is a good idea? Maybe you feel that 'tough love' is warranted, but I tend to see this as it is, a message board meant for support and not a therapy session.

Maybe if we all stopped making excuses for ourselves, we'd be forced to face the reality that if it isn't small boobs holding us back, it's ourselves, and we've selfishly and immaturely wasted a damn lot of our youth and our lives fussing over something as silly as our milk ducts.

For the most part, I have spent my time well. I have a degree in Chemistry and I am going back to school to get a higher degree in Environmental Science. I have a husband and two children and a house to take care of. And even with all these responsibilities and accolades, I sometimes get really down about the images that surround me DAILY regarding what I'm supposed to look like. So I often look forward to complaining, for just a bit, about the things that bother me. I don't consider that an 'immature waste of my youth'.

I've spent a lot of time here trying to help people out, not judging and being as supportive as possible,

I think you are judging now.

I know what it's like to live with the self doubt, and I also know what it's like to finally be free of that self-doubt.

I'm happy that you have come to terms (I'm not being sarcastic), but maybe not everyone here is at that same place you are.

To completely reject strongirls words and not even consider how we sometimes sound (I know I'm guilty too!!) is an example of the lack of perspective that sometimes seems to take over this board.

I didn't completely reject Strongirls words. I objected to some of the phrases she used. My exact response was:

I agree that we can all use a healthy dose of perspective, but I don't agree that any of these posts are 'vain, self-absorbed, immature, and whiny'.

I really get angry when you describe this as a 'pity party'. Some women have been abused. Some women continue to be berated by the people in their lives. I grew up without a mother, so I can trace where my insecurities lie, but that doesn't make them always easy to live with. To reduce my problems, or anyone elses, to a 'pity party' frankly insults me.

Good on you strongirl for speaking your mind!

I agree, I don't have a problem with anyone speaking their mind

[anna k]

Now, I do think you are very capable of making a plain white bra sexy as hell. It's all in the attitude. The other day, I had my hair all messy-sexy, my makeup on, and I was getting dressed to go out. I had on my white bra (because it makes the boobs have the nicest shape), and went in the bathroom to brush my teeth, and I was like, damn! I got the sexy librarian thing going on. So buttercups, moral of the story. Just keep looking for the sexy bras.

Go Aithinne!!!! I love that feeling, of just absentmindedly looking in the mirror and thinking, "Wow, I'm beautiful/sexy/cute."

[angie_21]

I feel bad about saying this and I really don't want to make anyone else feel bad (and maybe I'm just grumpy today so take this with a grain of salt) but I have to be honest - some of our posts (probably including some of mine) are striking me as vain, self-absorbed, immature, and whiny.

I support everyone's efforts to come to terms with the issues and enjoy better health, relationships, self-esteem, and sex. But I think we ought to be careful not to fall into self-pity, mis-directed anger, and grossly overemphasizing our breast size in the overall scheme of our lives.

I've been feeling the same way about this board lately. Persephone, I could say the exact same thing about the girls here, I am VERY sorry you all have such emotional difficulties, and I understand that they can be just as challenging as physical ones. But you know, we are lucky that our bodies don't hurt us or prevent us from doing things we love, or even living normally. Maybe some emotional problems can, but you know, every girl here has the power to change how they think about their bodies and themselves. It takes work and dedication, and sometimes professional help, sure. But I'm sorry, letting small boobs change how you live your life is a bit vain and self-absorbed. I know tough love isn't a popular method of helping friends out anymore, but tough talk from my friends has always been the best medicine. Maybe if we all stopped making excuses for ourselves, we'd be forced to face the reality that if it isn't small boobs holding us back, it's ourselves, and we've selfishly and immaturely wasted a damn lot of our youth and our lives fussing over something as silly as our milk ducts.

I've spent a lot of time here trying to help people out, not judging and being as supportive as possible, even if that means holding my tongue when I think people are completely taking things out of perpective, because I know that it can be really, really difficult to deal with societal pressures and more severe problems like BDD. I know what it's like to live with the self doubt, and I also know what it's like to finally be free of that self-doubt. But sometimes it feels like people would rather continue feeling sorry for themselves than actually take any of our advice and encouragement into consideration. To completely reject strongirls words and not even consider how we sometimes sound (I know I'm guilty too!!) is an example of the lack of perspective that sometimes seems to take over this board. A small breast support group needs to be, well, supportive, and it's tough to do that when it turns into a pity party. Good on you strongirl for speaking your mind!

cutenotsexy, hon - hi! Sorry if I'm sounding bitchy today. I just wanted to comment on your name, which I also completely understand because I've also usually been mistaken for the sweet and innocent type ... but so much of "sexiness" is in your attitude and how you carry your body, not how it's shaped. Try wearing a miniskirt in a casual place where most people are wearing jeans, and see if you still feel cute but not sexy! And please, don't trust your television more than you trust your boyfriend, that's not a good sign for your relationship! He's right, anyone considering plastic surgery should see a therapist first, not only to see if they want the surgery for the right reasons, but to make sure they are prepared to deal with the stress and the physical changes. Did you know suicide rates are higher among women with implants than women who've never had plastic surgery?

[starship]

Lightchested,

The new (34B) bras I bought do feel fine but out of sheer curiosity I am going to another place for a fitting. I just don't think that I can fill a C cup even at a smaller bra size. I am more concerned about bras fitting correctly than acheiving C cup status at this point. But thanks for the advice!

I read a magazine article once where the writer went to several different shops to be fitted and compared the results. The differences were quite surprising- one said she was a 36b and another said 32d etc, and very few measured her as the correct size. So yeah, might be worth a second opinion

I'm with persephone... It's a small breast support group. we come here to 'whine' about our breasts and get support, then support others when they need it too.

[Allison-Shine]

Allison-

Try a 32C. The saleslady maybe didn't have any and hence didn't suggest it. I'll bet you could wear a 32C. Victoria's Secret has some in the Very Sexy line now...they didn't used to. And VS has more 32Cs online than in the stores. Nordstrom's has 32C's abound.

Good luck- just the thrill of wearing a C would be worth it, I'd think!

-Lightchested

Lightchested,

The new (34B) bras I bought do feel fine but out of sheer curiosity I am going to another place for a fitting. I just don't think that I can fill a C cup even at a smaller bra size. I am more concerned about bras fitting correctly than acheiving C cup status at this point. But thanks for the advice!

[Persephone3]

I feel bad about saying this and I really don't want to make anyone else feel bad (and maybe I'm just grumpy today so take this with a grain of salt) but I have to be honest - some of our posts (probably including some of mine) are striking me as vain, self-absorbed, immature, and whiny.

I completely disagree with your choice of words. I am VERY sorry about yor friend, but their are a lot of women who post here that have legitimate issues that may go deeper that just poor body image. This is a forum that has the specific purpose is to discuss 'breast issues'. A place for support when other people do not seem to understand. It is often difficult to overcome the criticism that society has for women regarding their appearance. That criticism has come from women as well as men.

I agree that we can all use a healthy dose of perspective, but I don't agree that any of these posts are 'vain, self-absorbed, immature, and whiny'.

[anarch]

Sorry for double posting, but I just ran across another damned ad where they presume to mess with the image of Knightly's chest.

[anarch]

I think we ought to be careful not to fall into self-pity, mis-directed anger, and grossly overemphasizing our breast size in the overall scheme of our lives.

I can't blame you for reacting strongly after witnessing what your friend has to go through. When I was growing up, we had family friends whose daughter was large-boobed, and what we heard about all the negativity she experienced because of them probably helped me be grateful to have small boobs (though probably my foundation for feeling ok about my chest was that my family and friends didn't make me feel like shit for having smallies. For other things, yes, but not for that). She was finally able to get a breast reduction in her early 20s (MD didn't want to do it before that because of some misguided idea that she would whimsically change her mind).

And I'm grateful now to be in my late 30s, having had almost a couple of decades to practice a bunch of things. Positive self-thoughts. Cutting people out of my life who make me feel bad for not looking "good enough" or whatever the hell fucked up priorities they judged me by. Building a network of people who like themselves and like me too, and talk like it, instead of tearing me or other people down. I wish I could shake people who make put-down comments like "She's so flat" or ...is there an equivalent put-down for big boobs?...because those comments are cancerous. They're doing it to make themselves feel better about themselves, in a superficial, sheeplike way, and all it does is spread the misery and the poison.

Blech.

On a lighter note, I just saw two things:

1. Kelly Ripa on the cover of Life & Style, defending her small boobs, I gather (didn't read the article, just saw the cover while I was at the drugstore). Though I'm kind of annoyed that she explained away never seeing herself getting a boob job because she's too much of a "wimp".

2. Atonement with Keira Knightly, and it's probably been posted here before too but I'm totally in love with her dress and how gorgeous and smokin' hot she and her small boobs look in that movie. Rowr.

[strongirl]

I went camping this weekend with a good friend who is very large breasted. When she was younger and thinner she enjoyed this, even had a bumper sticker that said "Yes, they're real". But in the past few years she's put on some weight due to hormone injections she has to take to keep endometriosis under control. Her boobs are now enormous. She has to wear this bra that looks like it was built by the Army Corps of Engineers. Two of the disks in her spine are damaged by the weight of her breasts so now she has to have monthly epidurals to control the pain. It hurt me to watch her move. She's very brave and trying hard to stay active but she can no longer ski or waterski and doctors are saying if she doesn't lose weight, lose boobage, or be careful, she'll be in a wheelchair.

Then I come in here and read about people wanting implants even though their lovers are opposed, feeling like small boobs are a hardship in life, being pissed about things people say to them to try to make them feel better about small boobs, etc.

I feel bad about saying this and I really don't want to make anyone else feel bad (and maybe I'm just grumpy today so take this with a grain of salt) but I have to be honest - some of our posts (probably including some of mine) are striking me as vain, self-absorbed, immature, and whiny.

I support everyone's efforts to come to terms with the issues and enjoy better health, relationships, self-esteem, and sex. But I think we ought to be careful not to fall into self-pity, mis-directed anger, and grossly overemphasizing our breast size in the overall scheme of our lives.