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> Death Of A Loved One
ketto
post Aug 20 2009, 02:51 PM
Post #21


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 695
From: Winter Land


AP, my cat is 16 and looking her age so thinking about her dying really freaks me out. She's been with me since I was 8. Last night I dreamed that she was run over by a neighbour and when I woke up my pillow was wet and I was crying. Pets are family too and it hurts just as much to lose them.

Thanks for all the kind words. It has been a long haul. We went through a very similar deterioration of my grandma 3 years ago at the same time of year so it kind of feels like 'here we go again'.

August 23rd is the day my granddad (my uncle's father) passed away in 1992. I won't be surprised if my uncle goes on Sunday.


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candycane_girl
post Aug 20 2009, 02:01 PM
Post #22


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Posts: 2,336
From: Canada


(((AP))) pets are family members too. It still hurts to lose them.

(((ketto))) I'm sorry your family is going through this.
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yuefie
post Aug 20 2009, 01:01 PM
Post #23


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(((((ketto)))))

(((AP)))) sad.gif Grieving for a damned cat can hurt just as much as grieving for a family member. Especially when they've been a family member and not just a pet.


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~I'm so tired of being tired
As sure as night will follow day
Most things I worry about
Never happen anyway~
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auralpoison
post Aug 20 2009, 11:58 AM
Post #24


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(((((Ketto))))) I know this has been going on for you for a (lightning quick, but awful) while now & that you've been watching the sad process of a loved one dying. It's horrible & it's hard, be glad that your family is there & that you're going through this together.

And thanks, guys. I appreciate it even though I'm just whining about a damned cat.


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"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
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stargazer
post Aug 20 2009, 11:04 AM
Post #25


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(((ketto)))


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ketto
post Aug 20 2009, 10:05 AM
Post #26


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From: Winter Land


(((AP)))

We're in to what is probably the last few days for my uncle. He's been incredibly strong these last couple of months but he looks like a skeleton now. His hands are white and covered in sores and he's in so much pain the hospice is just keeping him sedated. He stopped eating and is drinking a sip or two a day but the nurses said it could be any day - however they also said they've seen people hold on for a couple of weeks in this state. I feel horrible for my cousin (her dad) and my nana (who is 91 but all there in the head). It's hard on my mom too and it feels like everyone is just waiting. Like my grandma, I wish he could just let go, but he's only 63 and isn't ready. It's so hard to watch. Harder than my grandma because she was 82 and it was time. This feels too soon.


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sevenseconds
post Aug 20 2009, 01:11 AM
Post #27


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Posts: 178
From: The Present (trying so hard to stay there)


sorry I'm so new I don't know if I have earned the right to do this but

((((AP))))


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Every story is a cup so empty it can be drunk from again and again. - MJH
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stargazer
post Aug 19 2009, 11:40 PM
Post #28


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(((AP))) sad.gif


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auralpoison
post Aug 19 2009, 11:23 PM
Post #29


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I am now officially alone in my abode. In yet another devastating life or death blow, Yoshimi shuffled off this mortal coil tonight. They coudn't find anything wrong, I think he died of a broken heart.


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crazyoldcatlady
post Aug 8 2009, 04:35 PM
Post #30


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(((girl_logic)))
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TheBeesKnees
post Aug 8 2009, 12:57 PM
Post #31


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From: Nebraska


(((girl_logic)))
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stargazer
post Aug 3 2009, 07:17 PM
Post #32


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(((girl_logic)))


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auralpoison
post Aug 3 2009, 05:17 PM
Post #33


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(((((girl_logic)))))


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girl_logic
post Aug 3 2009, 04:41 PM
Post #34


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Today was the end of a long hot holiday weekend by myself and I started listening to a Nina Simone album which reminds me of the things me and my sister used to enjoy together, good thoughts, but the line of that only ever leads to the night when cops were at our dining room table, telling me and my mother that she had been found in a park in the suburbs hanging from a rope. What I feel stops being about me and her or even about her at all because she's dead and doesn't care, but I care. all the time and too much. I miss her so much.


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There are years that ask questions and years that answer. - zora neale hurston
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TheBeesKnees
post Jul 15 2009, 04:12 PM
Post #35


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From: Nebraska


She actually let us see it, but wouldn't allow us to copy it :/ It's just frustrating, because I don't really have much left over [emotionally, financially, etc.] for something of this magnitude, but my gut is telling me that my dad would not have wanted this, and the conditions the will were written under makes me feel he was taken advantage of. She was incredibly angry in the beginning, and defensive, insulting [I'm not sure I was a peach, but I tried to not hit below the belt]; ever since however, she's been really nice. She texts us, wants to go out to eat with us. But it's like...hang on a second...you're sitting her calling me names and screwing me over, and now you're gonna be my best buddy?! I talked to one lawyer, and he was saying how it could cost about 5 grand to go through the whole process and I could end up getting nothing. Which is really daunting, to say the least. He seemed very informative, but I'm a total laymen, and he was using terms I'm unfamiliar with. One of my sister's acquaintances is a [young] lawyer, and he's supposed to talk to me sometime this week and give me some advice based off what he knows thus far. I don't want a war; I just want what my dad would have wanted.
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auralpoison
post Jul 15 2009, 11:32 AM
Post #36


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Um, the whole will thing is uncomfortable, but necessary. My father had one, my mother didn't & it's been a hell of a hassle without one. You have EVERY right to see the will, he was your father. It's not greed, it's seeing to his legacy. You also have every right to contest it if you think it was changed under duress. It should be filed with your local county, so you should be able to get a copy there if she's unwilling to share the information with you. Her not being willing to share/being defensive makes me suspicious, so I'd probably make an appoinment with an attorney when you do get a copy.


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TheBeesKnees
post Jul 13 2009, 05:20 PM
Post #37


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From: Nebraska


Okay...so I hope I'm not a huge jerk for bumping this thread, but I have another question, and this unfortunately seems like the most appropriate venue for it. I was wondering if any Busties have any experience with will situations? Basically any whatsoever. I'm curious because of the situation I'm in with my father having passed away. I'm uncomfortable with the changes that were made when he was heavily medicated [basically our stepmom of 4 years got everything, my sister and I are intended to get half when she passes away, but she's guarded with what information she'll share and gets defensive when it comes up, etc.]. I battle with feelings of guilt, thinking I must be greedy to even question things...and then I flip to the gut feeling that it's just not right. Any advice ladies? :/
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TheBeesKnees
post Jun 28 2009, 07:06 PM
Post #38


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Thank you lovely ladies smile.gif Don't mean to bump the thread, just wanted to say that.
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stargazer
post Jun 24 2009, 03:38 PM
Post #39


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TBK, yeah, I think it is part of the grieving process regarding counting the days since the burial or saving txts. When my good friend passed away (we were roommates also), the moving of his things and eventually moving out myself were totally traumatic for me. It was hard to hear some songs or artists that I knew he liked because they reminded me of him which would lead me to cry. As the date got closer to his actual passing 1 year later, I was a wreck. I didn't expect his death to impact me so much.

So, I guess I would encourage you to take things one day at a time and seek the support and love of your friends and family through all of this. (((TBK)))


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auralpoison
post Jun 23 2009, 09:29 PM
Post #40


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Sorry, TBK, I'm lazy & TheBeesKnees is long! Auralpoison is long enough, so I'm usually just AP. There's also AmazonPrincess, who sometimes gets called AP & I get confused. Sorry! There's a gal called something like Annabananahannahmontana that's mindboggler to type!

I wasn't trying to make you cry, but I'm not gonna fault you for doing so. Tears are healthy. Our stories are different, but you did what you could to try to help. Crying is natural.

For some background, I'd already been through this with my mom a few years before she died. I naively thought I could get her through it *again* via healthy food & exercise. I walked into taking care of her again sure that I could work the same regime & get her healthy. I didn't realize that she'd strayed so far that it was a complete & total impossiblity. This is why it was such a hard kick in the teeth to take. I really thought we could do it again. I was wrong.

Look into perfume pendants if you want to keep him close. I used to wear a bit of my father around my neck in a sterling silver ovoid pendant. A tiny funnel, some cremains, & bam! You've got somebody physically near your heart forever. Also, because my father chose cremation, I purchased seven colorful Indian cut-glass bottles & gave an ounce of him to his parents/siblings because there was no stone for them to visit. I sealed them with wax & they all hold places of honor in their homes.


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