[crinoline]

*waves* Hi tiny Busties!
I'm attending a good friends graduation this weekend and so I went shopping for a day suit or suitable dress. I must have tried on every dress in the stupid mall, and NOTHING fit me! It is absolutely impossible for me to find a well fitting sheath dress, because the torso is so long, and the straps stand up from my shoulders. Is it too much to ask that the petite department carry clothing that is appropriate for the under 50 set? And what ever happened to size PP? The smallest I could find was a 4P, and that just don't cut it, a strapless 4P falls right off of my stupid tiny boobs and ribcage.
And speaking of tiny ribcages, why do bra sizes stop at 32? It really sucks for those of us who have to slump over to the preteen department to find a bra that doesn't go over your head when you raise your arms. I'm not a thin person, I'm just small, I see girls much thinner than me and I wonder where they find bras with the proper bandsize. I feel like an entire group of women (tiny women) are being completely ignored by the fashion industry. Who are they making those mile-long pants for?
I brought an average height friend with me shopping, and she was amazed at how ill-fitting all of the regular clothing was on me. She said that she had no idea what a difference an inch of extra fabric in the waist makes. It makes the difference between sleek and well fitting and bunchy and loose fitting. I was so frustrated by the end of the (four hour) shopping trip that I was near tears. And I still don't have anything appropriate to wear. I am reduced to a casual sundress (my mother would hang her head in shame).

Anti-kvetch- I found AG Legend jeans in a consignment store in my (petite!) size for $20!!! I was so thrilled I've worn them for five days straight. The hems barely touch the ground, it's amazing!

I know this thread is kind of dead, but if anyone's still around, does anyone have any good resources for petite clothing?

[auralpoison]

*bump*

[anonymoose96]

Wow, this thread has been quiet a long time! i was just curious but can being anemic cause a person to be underweight despite eating all the time?

[knorl05]

*double woo*

[stephanie_erin]

why, thank you.

to everyone,
the reason i bothered telling my story about getting active.. is basically because it made me feel good. i mean, even now.. whenever i do something somewhat physical, i feel great. once you start, it becomes a habit. woo! being healthy!

[knorl05]

... ps. LOVE the quote

[stephanie_erin]

*sigh
finally, someone who understands. that seriously made my day. i think i've ranted and raved about that many times. never to the girl who called me outrageously small... but to friends.

[knorl05]

steph_erin: i think maybe what it is, is that any unwanted attention to our bodies is annoying? i hate when people make comments like that because it's like, this is just my body. i have a small frame, stop comparing yourself to me. -or- i figure, if someone is so unhappy with their weight that they have to make comments to me.. do something about it. dont blame the small girl for your weight issues. stop eating greasy fast food everyday and start exercising.

that's awesome that you took control over your weight at a young age.. especially the way you did it by getting active. so many kids just sit around and play video games anymore that i think that's one of the reasons a lot of people have weight problems.

[stephanie_erin]

well..
back to what originally started that,
anorexia isn't a choice. it's not necessarily something you can convince your friend not to do. i mean sure, support to get over it is nice.. but i'm not entirely sure that's any better than not saying anything at all.
when i was little i was big. i mean, i looked pregnent when i was 4. never the less, i got over it myself. i didn't really have friends [outside my family], and even then i figured out i wouldn't unless i got thinner. i joined swimming and ju jitsu, and lost the weight just by being an active 4- year old.
i don't know.
that story seemed random,
but i guess to get back to the thread.
i almost miss being big.
i'm 5' 4", and it would be obvious if i gained weight, but i'm tired of girls randomly stating that i'm "so skinny" and that they wish "they could be my size".
just yesterday i was asked if i was 80 pounds. ridiculous, i know, but it just goes to show how unrealistic high school girls are about weight.

[knorl05]

mouse, i actually restarted the ED thread sometime in the beginning of the year.. but it's faded as of late: bulimia, anorexia, etc ..eating disorders thread

i have a lot of feedback on the topic. i never want to offer unsolicited advice, but sometimes it happens when i get all passionate about topics that hit home. if you wanna hop in there and chat about ED's for a hot sec, lemme know.

[mouse]

knorlo....the depressing thing is that i'm NOT actually there, supporting her, being her friend. i don't mean to de-rail this thread and am wondering if maybe we should start another about eating disorders and allies? but i feel incredibly guilty.

we were best friends up until around age 11 and then she started hanging out with different people (middle school, when everything first starts getting cliquey). i actually ended up being the loner/scapegoat of the class and so we weren't really friends at all by the time she got diagnosed at around 13. we had a sort of affection based on history, and our mothers are best friends, but we didn't really have much of a personal connection by then. we switched schools to the same highschool, but even though we were on better terms then, she was never there because she was always in and out of treatment. she also has fibromyalgia, which didn't help things at all. i left for college early, after three years of highschool, and haven't lived at home or anywhere near where she lives since. we stay in touch because our mothers are close, and i visit her when i go home to see my parents, and lately i've been trying to email her more often, but we live on opposite coasts now and as selfish as it is, i'm really preoccupied with my life HERE.

and the sad thing is, so is everyone who was ever her friend. she's sort of stymied at age 13. she's taken college classes and she got her ged, but she's never been on her own, she has this sort of scarily symbiotic relationship with her mother. they're never without each other around. her father's never around, and they just moved to a different state so now she's totally far away from anyone she even remotely had. and of course her friends from school are, like me, getting on with their lives and moving away and starting out in the world. and she's not.

so many of these sensationalistic "i had anorexia!" exposes on 20/20 or whatever are always "i got through it with the help of my best friend". and i just don't think she has that kind of support and i wonder that maybe that's why this has gone on so long......and i'm probably the closest thing she has to that, and i'm so not doing anything.

i dunno.

this totally doesn't belong in this thread, sorry.

[knorl05]

right on mouse. your friend is so lucky to have you, as cliche as that sounds, it's very true. not many people have the patience or capacity to deal with a person with those extreme conditions. it's a huge responsibility for a friend to sit by and just be a friend with no expectations or attempts to change the person. but it means the world because all people who are isolated really want is someone who accepts them unconditionally and supports them through their struggles. i imagine your friend doesnt even understand her own disorders, which can be very frustrating for her i'm sure. i know she wants to get better, deep down, and i know she hates living that way. no one enjoys being sick or feeling sick. so all i can say is continue doing exactly what you are doing, and have faith that with the help of professionals, and doctors, and family and friends, she will feel the love and support she needs to get stronger one day at a time.

anita18, arg. i hate all that celebrity crap. do you notice they all eerily look the same? all of their eyebrows are neatly trimmed and their lips are glossed and plumped. it just gets so tiresome seeing person after perfect person trotting down the red carpet. where is the substance people? if these people arent living life enough to skin their knee, they are definitely not someone i look up to.

[Anita18]

re: the change in sizes over the years-it's definitely true-it's vanity sizing. A lot of people have said that they used to be a bigger size in clothes, and now they are like a 2, when they used to be a 6...

Hah, that's exactly what I found to be the case in Express. I have an old pair of Express jeans that are a size 5/6, and when I went there recently to try on new pants, I had magically become a size 2. My pelvis is physically incapable of fitting in a real size 3, so it's just vanity sizing, but it's so annoying.

I realize that when people comment on my weight, they're usually not doing it out of disgust like they would if I were overweight. But it still bothers me because they're assuming things about me without even knowing me. I could say the same if I had any other body condition really, but it bugs me because they're not putting ME down. They're unconsciously putting THEMSELVES down. Saying, "You're so lucky!", "What's your secret?", "You don't need to exercise!" and other things like that really says, "I wish I was as skinny as you" and I want to knock some sense into them.

Being skinny didn't get me where I am. I'm in science and it doesn't matter what I look like or what I wear. And being skinny certainly doesn't get me guys, LOL - my roommate (who often uses the "You're so lucky!" line) has had more boyfriends in the past month than I've had in my entire life. Looking a certain way doesn't achieve goals, but having a certain attitude does. I'm just so frustrated with people who obsess over the natural state of their bodies. Some things you just can't change, and if you're healthy, you might as well embrace it, right?

Don't even get me started on people who snark on celebrities being too fat or too thin. People called Kate Winslet fat when Titanic came out, but I thought she was gorgeous. People called Keira Knightley a boy when POTC came out, but I thought she was gorgeous too. They're both women with vastly different natural body types, but they seem healthy. Actresses like Nicole Richie and Kate Bosworth I worry about, since it's clear they've lost a lot of weight and their current thin physiques probably aren't their natural states. I agree that it's frustrating to see people just say, "They need to eat a cookie" because eating disorders aren't as simple as that. If they do have eating disorders, yes, they need help, but it certainly isn't as easy as sitting in front of a meal. Heck, I think that most people today have a negative relationship with food...

[pepper]

my very good friend from younger years was a seriously disfunctional person in many respects, anorexia/bulimia being only one. it wasn't until years later that i found out she'd suffered horrible sexual abuse as a small child. she was also adopted into an alcoholic family and thought her "parents" knew about her abuser all along. no wonder she was a mess, it all just goes to show that disfunction manifests itself in many different ways from many different causes. it's impossible to cover it all with one blanket, so to speak. i don't know why people even try.

[katiebelle2882]

i dont think all anorexics are the same though. some get over it quite quickly, others go on for years and years with it. its like any other illness, its not the same for everyone

[mouse]

body dysmorphia can be caused by a lot of things, but it's in there already. conscious issues about the way one looks can exacerbate it, but ultimately it's a psychological condition. and the word "vanity" being bandied about with anorexia really, really bugs me because in serious cases that is never, ever what it is about.

i am not a tiny girl. i only looked into this thread because it kept showing up at the top. but i have to comment.

my best friend from childhood has been in and out of hospitals for over ten years now for anorexia. she is the sweetest girl you could ever hope to meet, but there is something severely wrong with her, psychologically. it has nothing to do with vanity.

my mother works at a school for children with severe mental disabilities and studies a lot of things about how even prenatal influences can affect people later on in life (ie, babies who were c-sections as opposed to vaginal births often have minor issues with certain reflexes when they are grown up because they didn't have to use those inherent reflexes to get themselves down the birth canal).

it's an interesting subject, but the example i wanted to make is that research has found that certain children with certain disabilities benefit greatly from things like sitting on textured chairs or holding a heavy pillow in their lap, because part of their disability is the inability to know where their body ends. having something remind them where they are helps them stay in the world, helps ground them.

it's similar with body dysmorphia, and my mom made my friend a heavy pillow which has been helping her. body dysmorphia is not a choice, it's not a fashion statement, it's a fucking psychological condition. one which, for my friend, ten years of doctors, hospitals, rehabs, love, support and begging have not been able to change.

people look down their noses at girls with anorexia and it fucking sickens me. the attitude is "oh, you could change if you wanted to". no, they can't. it's not that easy. and you wouldn't ask that of someone with schizophrenia or ocd or any other psychological problem.

[maddy29]

with sexual abuse as a kid, a lot of times it starts out in puberty, with a disgust of becoming a woman, and so you want to starve yourself and stay a girl (weirdly, cause it's notlike being agirl kept you safe...)

also i think society tells us that being a woman is bad and that fat is disgusting and makes you a disgusting person. so it's not just vanity but also self-esteem.

i remember wanting to cut my "fat" off with a knife, i was so repulsed by it.

not saying ther'es not vanity in it for some/many, just don't think it's ever so cut and dried.

a loooot of it is about control-if you look at little kids who essentially have not much power if any, a lot of kids take control by refusing to eat certain things, etc. my niece and nephew are realllly good at using food as their power. i think it can be similar. it can be a cry for help, a punishment of the body or of a parent or smething, a way to cope, a way to feel out of it and numb, a way to become "perfect" and in control and powerful. it's like "i can't' control anything, so i'm going to control my body."

just my 2cents (ok maybe more like 4)

also i think it can be a form of self-injury, and of passive suicidality, because choosing not to eat is essentially choosing not to put life into your body.

it can be about self-hatred, about punishing yourself for being "bad", and not allowing yourself any nourishment or kindness, because you don't deserve it because you are "bad."

[katiebelle2882]

well thats kinda what i meant, theres SO much more going on there, but there has to be vanity in some aspect. its alot about control and self esteem, but i would think people who have been abused in whatever way are suffering from low self esteem among many other issues, so may gravitate towards things they CAN control about themselves, which is their body size in order to be accepted and stuff. who knows, i am not sure anyone ever will.


in my experience, (girls in college) it was a vanity thing fueled by low self esteem and wanting to have that "perfect" body. but clearly that is not everyones case.

[ambercherry]

i think you're right for some cases, katie. but there are some cases in which i don't think it starts out as a vanity thing. again, i'm not an expert on the subject, but for some people (women, mostly) who have been sexually abused, eating disorders are not about a vanity thing. there are a whole lot of underlying issues there. and i'm pretty sure i've read other cases of for, example, anorexia, being linked to issues that were not related to vanity. i vaguely remember what those issues were, though, and when i have time i'll do a little research into them. to say that they start out as absolutely a vanity thing, may be going too far. but that's just my opinion, and i wish i knew more on the subject. i guess, maybe there is always an aspect of the physical appearance being involved - but is it always about wanting to be thinner because that's what's portrayed as being better? i don't know.

[katiebelle2882]

to be honest, i think it absolutely starts out as a vanity thing (because of society) and quickly becomes a disease. at least for most people, esp in hollywood. i know its indicative of other things but for the most part whether its about control or something else, it DOES start out as a "i am too fat" thing. doesnt stay that way bc you are right, they cant tell how gross they look or how unhealthy they are, which is where the disease comes in.