[dolor]

[quote name='fantaz' date='May 26 2007, 12:42 PM' post='154856']
why do great guys never seem to like me? I seem to be swarming with creeps (more than anyone I know!), but the guys I like never seem to like me back!

Fantaz,

Is this a situation where the guys you like know that you like them, and are not responsive,
or the problem of them not registering that you're interested in them?

[stargazer]

oh nickclick, thank you for that link. thank you so much.

[little lulu]

hello busties... this is my first post (blush!) after lurking for quite some time.
perhaps I should be posting this in the sex thread... but it's more of a social issue.

I was in a few relationships when I was younger but have been single for quite some time, almost two years, mostly by choice/emotional necessity. I have plenty of sexual experience, but only with two serious partners and i was young so we built up to it slowly.
my problem now is I am single and ready to mingle (haha) and i want nothing more than a good fuck or ten... but no serious relationships, please! BUT i have NO IDEA how to go about this casual sex thing. oh, i could do the sex part fine, but how do I meet someone and subtly get across that I want to f*ck their brains out in the bathroom? I am terrified by this part!

I have always been the "buddy" girl and am not naturally sexual-seeming, so i am pretty sure i am gonna have to be the initiator unless I start being attracted to slimeballs. I don't do the arm-caressing coquette game (maybe a butt-grope here and there, but only on friends). how can i get over this "hump," so to speak, and into the humping?

I have never been one for this sort of thing before, but right now i think it's healthy for me to want it.
any advice?

xx lulu

ps fantaz, we may have similar problems... i am just too much of a buddy. hell if i know how to fix it!

[fantaz]

why do great guys never seem to like me? I seem to be swarming with creeps (more than anyone I know!), but the guys I like never seem to like me back! I talked to my guy friend the other day to ask why, and he says that guys like mysterious girls, and that I'm just all out there. I'm one of those people that makes people feel comfortable the minute they are around me because I leave my guard down and act like a goof.
when i tell people that i have never had a boyfriend (i'm almost 22!) people are shocked! i'm nice, smart and attractive, but i can never seem to get the guys i like (and it's not like i'm after unreachable guys either)!

[dani837]

Younger guys are generally more immature...at least around my age.

[xexyz]

Toys-r-us kid?

[Moonpieluv]

Ahhhh... to land a guy like that would be so dreamy! In fact, I want to be a secondary english teacher, writer, and supporter of the punky music scene. So I would be so down with a guy like that. A bit of balance! I plan to move to a city that enables me to meet more people in that realm or around that realm, even girls that I can relate to when it comes to scholarly/academic pursuits, while obtaining my degree so maybe one day.....

You are so lucky. Brings me hope, nick. I'll look that book up! Thanks!

ha ha, toys-r-us kid! i met a few o' those! but i was always on the search for the punk rocker/writer with a job. now i found a teacher with a good job who likes to go to punk rock shows and read poetry, and life is peachy. my point is better made by the constant dater .

[nickclick]

ha ha, toys-r-us kid! i met a few o' those! but i was always on the search for the punk rocker/writer with a job. now i found a teacher with a good job who likes to go to punk rock shows and read poetry, and life is peachy. my point is better made by the constant dater .

[Moonpieluv]

I have met guys.. and for a hot second, I may be interested... then it's done. Or they would only good for a one-nighter. I just think I'm meeting only the guys who live for the social rocker drinker life....not that that is bad necessarily if you are self-sufficient and not a dick... but I'm saying I end up meeting these guys with peter pan syndrome. Or the timing was off with the guys I was interested in. Getting some booty doesn't cut it anymore, my vibe can do better than these drips. I would try to branch out but I wanna hear some rock-n-roll!
So frustrating. Where's the geeky hot grounded guy with a stable job and a decent record collection but NOT a career musician and not a freaking Toys-R-Us kid?

I'm really in NO hurry to date considering my dilemma with the ex and me needing to do some soul-soothing and strengthening, but it would nice to know if that kinda guy was out there for poop's sake!!

[Muffy]

It'd be real nice if someone crawled out of the wood work who I could actually visualize myself dating.

I feel your pain! I really want to be interested in the people that come my way, but they are just not interesting!

[Kalevra]

I need to feel a little fire inside before I start fooling around. The fun part is anticipating sex (or making out) with someone who you really like

ditto that

[pinkpoodle]

Yeah, I'm like that, too, anna. I need to feel a little fire inside before I start fooling around. The fun part is anticipating sex (or making out) with someone who you really like--wondering where or when it could happen.

ETA-"Quality dick, no fillers" Hahahahaha!!!!!

[anna k]

I talked to this guy online, and I should've have cut him off when he said he was going to see Shrek 3. He's 35 years old, with no kids, and I can imagine he wasn't going to be seeing it with any kids. That's just too old to be going to a kids' movies.

He told me he looked like a Calvin Klein model, but when I saw his picture I thought he looked dull. He had the "model" look, but lacked any charisma or unique hotness.

Sometimes I consider meeting these guys for sex, but I get bored or feel like it's a hassle to plan out the meetup and have to touch someone I don't know and not feeling any real passion or physical attraction.

[erinjane]

I had two guys ask for my number in the last month, which was nice, but I'm not at all attracted to either of them, which is frusturating. It'd be real nice if someone crawled out of the wood work who I could actually visualize myself dating.

[zoya]

lustfullypink - "Quality Dick" is otherwise known around these parts as "Executive Cock."

...and now back to your regularly scheduled penis.

[anna k]

I IMed with a French guy on OKCupid who kept letting me know that he would only here until June and was just looking for sex, not to fall in love. He was pasty-looking and looked like a nerd, so I told him I wasn't going to fall in love with him. He got offended and kept asking me why, what was wrong with him. He also wrote in that similar way, which could be forgivable since English wasn't his first language, but he still came off as a dork.

OKCupid is fine, but there's a lot of dorky guys on there. JDate and Nerve make you pay to communicate, so I do the free dating sites, which are less discriminating and have a lot of dorky guys on there.

I tend to become more attracted to men who are out of my league, like men in their forties and fifties who may be my professors or my friends' dads. Guys my age still seem immature and dull. I don't really like dating websites, but when I go out amongst people my age I don't find any guys attractive enough or interesting enough to flirt with, and I'd like that kind of spontaneity again.

[LustfullyPink]

"Quality dick" I need to write that down. "Quality dick, no fillers" Meh heh.

[anna k]

I went onto OKCupid to check out the dating scene there. I wrote a few emails to some guys, saying what I liked in their profiles and a little about myself. Sometimes I feel like I should date more, be more open, and other times guys bore me or I feel like they're too dull and wouldn't know what to do with me. It's bitchy and snotty, but I get along better talking casually spontaneously and naturally than doing a planned date. Like talking to my male co-worker about various stuff and getting along or talking to a movie theater employee about Safe Men. With questions back and forth and coming up with a meeting time, it feels stilted to me. But I do it once in a while, so I don't bitch to myself about feeling lonely or wanting some quality dick.

[knorl05]

lustfully: i have had the same problem.. but really i think it's just that there really are a lot of boring dudes out there. figure out what you like, and then only date guys who fulfill your requirements. and then... when you are dating them continue looking for new and exciting things about their lives. continue to learn with and about them. dont worry so much about stuff and just let it happen. there is no such thing as the perfect man, only because perfection is an illusion. but if you can find a guy who appreciates you and who you want to spend time with, that's as close to perfection as i can think of.

[LustfullyPink]

I'm frustrated . Recently I finally got the guy that I have been wanting for about four years... Then got tired of him and broke up with him after four months. I do follow almost the same pattern with every relationship or almost relationship I'm in. I'll flirt forever, and then he'll show interest, and I'll immediately get bored with him and go onto someone else. There's someone right now that I've been talking to for a few weeks, and he's shown interest and I'm yet to get bored, so hopefully something will be different this time. Anyone have any tips or advice on how to stop this cycle? It's quickly becoming old hat.


My quote of the day "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting something different to happen."