[anna k]

I didn't know where to place this, but thought it was worthy here:

I had a very vivid sex dream. I had met with an Italian-American construction worker, very Brooklyn "how you doin'?" type. He was into me and we flipped around a lot on his bed, laughing and trying different things. I stroked his penis, which was made up of different colors in a Dr. Seuss way, saying it felt prickly and hot. He kept jumping when I touched him, it was as if it was a live animal. It was all very intimate and funny and sweet, just playing around and kissing and orgasming and joking with each other.

[maddy29]

yay! my boyfriend and i just exchanged presents, and he got me a sweet g-spot vibrating dildo-thingy! it's purple and soft and sooo cute and curved. It's called Venus or something. i'm really excited about it and so is he of course he forgot to get batteries, so i have to wait to try it out but i feel relieved. like, ya know, not everyone can just easily cum during sex or whatever, so i'm going to take all the help i can get. also i think it'll be good for helping me and him figure out more about what i like. )

i hear ya lovemypugs-the lost O. once i relax and stop trying so hard, and give it a few days, it's fine, but i get so frustrated!

that sucks about your job, and such bad timing too

[LoveMyPugs]

Recently, I’ve only been able to reach the big O alone but even then it’s labored. Could have something to do with the fact that I got fired two weeks before Christmas and my fiancé and I are broke and I’m terrified about my life right now. In all honesty things are probably going to be fine and I’m just worrying for nothing. I just can’t focus when we are having sex. I end up telling him just to finish whenever he’s ready and I give up. He hates this cause he doesn’t enjoy it as much if I just lay there pissed and frustrated at myself and my brain not being able to let shit go so I can enjoy myself. It sucks. I haven’t even enjoyed masturbating either. I think I’ve rubbed my clit two inches into my body I’m working that little thing so hard tying to cum. I’m working on getting my shit in order so maybe things will get better soon.

I’m in mourning for my lost O!

[starpiste]

The motor on my laya spot died tonight (so sad!). I'm not in a position money wise to replace it but want something similar. Anyone have reviews of the natural countours line? I'm looking into the "petit" model because it's comparable in shape and size. noise and strength of vibe info would be appreciated most. TIA.

[doxy]

Edited because I should have posted the previous in the frustration thread, rather than this thread...that's how long I've been away from bust. I'm moron.
Happy Holiday masturbation, friends!

[boblink]

that's totally how i feel too-i psych myself out worrying about it. and yeah, i just want the big O, and i want it NOW!

Maddy29 ... you're not alone with your concerns and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. I wish I could help, but the best I can do is perhaps to put the problem into perspective and maybe trigger further thought in another box.

Boys, on average, begin masturbation at age ten. Some of them begin Little League Baseball at the same age. By the time they've progressed through Little League, Junior High School, Varsity High School, and American Legion ball, they're pretty good at playing baseball. And quite good at masturbation.

A young woman who has her first masturbatory experience in college may need a lot of practice in catching up.

A man who knows what he's doing will keep you aroused for an hour or so before penetration.
He'll probably hold your hand, caress your arm, nuzzle your neck and your cheek, kiss, kiss, and kiss; then caress a breast or two, twiddle a nipple while kissing etc etc. And then, after you're steaming hot, chances are that, one way or another, he can bring you up to the cliff and nudge you over into that free fall to glory.

Some women can almost come on command -- two minutes or less. But the slow build up of steam pressure
either solo or with a mate -- is a highly desirable foundation for a great big O.

Books, magazines, or half an hour or so of simple daydreaming, can help develop some useful steam.

[maddy29]

that's totally how i feel too-i psych myself out worrying about it. and yeah, i just want the big O, and i want it NOW!

[dayglowpink]

maddy29- I know exactly what you mean. I have so many of the same feelings. Over the past year, it has been getting much harder for me to come, especially with a partner. It's a rarity now when it used to be no problem at all. And sometimes I will have a hard time when I am masturbating, too. Also, now I can pretty much only come if I am lying in a certain position with my legs a certain way. I used to at least be able to get myself off while a guy was fucking me, but that's gotten almost impossible now, too. I completely identify with what you are saying about the buildup and just wanting it to happen. Sometimes I sort of psych myself out, I just want to come fast, and then I don't allow myself to get enough of a buildup, and then it just never happens or takes forever. It is frustrating, and I also get jealous of other women who don't seem to have such a hard time. I try really hard to relax about it and not stress or worry, and it's usually okay, but I do worry about whether it will ever get better. I think that for me it does have to do with emotional/psychological stuff.

[go_kayte]

I totally know what you mean with the frustration maddy. I used to masturbate just with my hands all the time, since as far back as I can remember but I had just these really shallow weak orgasms (which *I personally think* is the kind of orgasms most men have without prostate stimulation). When I was a college freshman I got my first vibe and it took me sooooo long to figure out how to have a vibrator orgasm. When I figured out how to have a g-spot orgasm (which I usually can only have during sex, me on top and backwards and holding a vibe on my clit) IT. WAS. HUGE. But it's not like I can just do that on command it has to be the right mood, the right setting emotionally, and I still haven't figured out how to do the gspot orgasm by myself. That's my next sexual goal. The butt plug helps though

[maddy29]

http://www.goodvibes.com/ItemList--Emotional-Bliss--m-14

i just like seeing vibrators that don't look like penises. i dunno, they just look so pretty and friendly and nice


re: masturbation-i'm sooo frustrated! my trusty vibrator pretty much always delivers. every once in a great while, i can't cum, but not very often. lately, it's been more and more often that i can't cum. last night i ended up crying and yelling because i was soooo fucking frustrated! grrrrr

i don't know if it's emotional, physical, or what. i just know that i'm so damn sick of this. i just feel broken, damaged. i feel like i'll always struggle with this and it'll never get better and i'll never be able to experience full sexual pleasure. it's even difficult for me to tolerate feeling the pleasure. i want to come pretty quickly, and just have the orgasm. the pleasure leading up the orgasm is nice, but it's also scary feeling at the same time, and i can't tolerate it for long.

i feel so jealous of people on here and irl that are so sexual and free, that can just experience so much pleasure. i get so MAD that i'm not like that. i didn't even know about masturbation until college- i didn't know girls did it. i didn't have an orgasm til my senior year-ironically not until after i read my first book on sexual abuse.


i know i know, practice, get to know yourself, what your body likes, blah blah fuckity blah. that pisses me off, sexual expression is my birthright, as a human! why should i have to work soooooo hard at something that just comes naturally to most? and this whole "oh lots of women don't cum" is bs to me! why is it so easy for men? gah!

rant over. for now.

[go_kayte]

Maddy, post a link! I wanna see!

[maddy29]

thanks-wheneve ri look online for them, i feel like i want them all!!!!!!

but i think i'm going to get one. once i decide which one to try.

i was on goodvibrations website and they have these really nice vibrators that are a totally different shape-they cover the whole vulva area, they look pretty nice-just lookign at them makes me feel excited

[go_kayte]

Maddy, I don't have one but I think the hitachi magic wand is considered by a lot of people to be the best plug-in vibe out there, with the silicone "innie" addition (they sell it at babeland and blowfish)...but that will run you $100 for both I believe. The rabbit vibes are all battery powered I think. I don't mind battery ones and the ones I have that take at least 2 aa batteries don't run out too quickly. They call what you're describing "innie/outie" or "japanese style" or "rabbit style". Just make sure if you get the rabbit one to get the elastomer because the other material requires that you use condoms with it.

[maddy29]

hey there, can anyone recommend a good vibrator/dildo? i've had the same vibrator since college (1998) and while i love it, it's just for the outside-the clit. i'd like to find something that still does that, but also goes inside? i don't know how to describe it-i was just watching sex and the city where charlotte gets the rabbit, and that looked pretty cool. i'd like to practice playing with my g spot.

i don't want to spend a ton, but i want one that is sturdy and will last


ok, can i just say that this: "Whenever I look at it I just wanna stuff it in my butt" is fucking hilarious!!!! heh heh go-kayte.


oh, and no batteries-i need plug ins. batteries go too fast.

[dayglowpink]

I mean, I don't actually boil my stuff, either, I just wanted to make sure people were informed! I just wash with soap and hot water every now and then. Usually it's only me and my one FWB using it anyway. I guess if I had a bunch of other people involved, I might be more cautious or have certain toys for certain people or something. There are some viruses that can live outside the body for quite a while, though, including hepatitis B and HPV. Again, I just wanted to make sure people were clear on the definitions.

[anna k]

I love the round ball at the end of my vibrator. I love how it makes me jump and make short breaths, it's so exciting and makes me feel so inside of my body. Sometimes I get so used to it that I worry that ordinary, penetrative sex won't turn me on unless I really really like the guy. So for now this baby is giving me all the pleasure I need.

[kelkello]

Good lord, I've never boiled my toys. Just lots of hot water and soap. And I've lived to tell about it and everything. I'm not knocking the boilers, btw. However, it does give me some very weird soup imagery.

[pepper]

generally speaking, bacteria and viruses can't live outside the body for very long anyhow so disinfecting by boiling is more than sufficient.

[dayglowpink]

On the whole sterilization thing, boiling something does not sterilize it. It might disinfect it, but to truly sterilize something, it has to go through an autoclave at a certain temperature and pressure or sit in a cold sterilization liquid (very strong chemical, not something people have sitting around the house) for a period of time. So disinfecting by boiling will kill some bacteria/viruses, but there are others that can live through 3 minutes of boiling water. IMO, the only way to be super safe with sex toys is to use condoms on them or just to have certain ones that are only used for certain people/places. I don't know about using the pot afterwards, I guess I would say to boil some more water in there and then scrub it really well with hot water and soap.

[go_kayte]

Honestly I'm not sure if this belongs in the butt thread or in here. I just gotta say, I got this a few weeks ago and I am fucking loving it. I don't want to masturbate without it now!



Yup, it's a butt plug. My first one. I was a little hesitant at first, worried I wouldn't be able to get it in myself or it would be too big, but it's perfect. Whenever I look at it I just wanna stuff it in my butt.


Hey tesao, I like the g-swirl too, but I can't really get my g-spot with it, and it's not quite thick enough for me to love it as an innie vibe. Oh well, it's a good one-handed clit vibe.
I've had bad luck trying to find a g-spotting vibe. I have the g-orchid, and it's a really powerful vibe and it's waterproof so I love it for the clit, but it's hard plastic so I don't really like how it feels inside. I can't say I'm not having fun trying different things though. Sex toys are like pizza..