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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
angie_21
post Aug 24 2009, 09:23 PM
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QUOTE(strongirl @ Aug 24 2009, 12:10 PM) *
I feel bad about saying this and I really don't want to make anyone else feel bad (and maybe I'm just grumpy today so take this with a grain of salt) but I have to be honest - some of our posts (probably including some of mine) are striking me as vain, self-absorbed, immature, and whiny.

I support everyone's efforts to come to terms with the issues and enjoy better health, relationships, self-esteem, and sex. But I think we ought to be careful not to fall into self-pity, mis-directed anger, and grossly overemphasizing our breast size in the overall scheme of our lives.


I've been feeling the same way about this board lately. Persephone, I could say the exact same thing about the girls here, I am VERY sorry you all have such emotional difficulties, and I understand that they can be just as challenging as physical ones. But you know, we are lucky that our bodies don't hurt us or prevent us from doing things we love, or even living normally. Maybe some emotional problems can, but you know, every girl here has the power to change how they think about their bodies and themselves. It takes work and dedication, and sometimes professional help, sure. But I'm sorry, letting small boobs change how you live your life is a bit vain and self-absorbed. I know tough love isn't a popular method of helping friends out anymore, but tough talk from my friends has always been the best medicine. Maybe if we all stopped making excuses for ourselves, we'd be forced to face the reality that if it isn't small boobs holding us back, it's ourselves, and we've selfishly and immaturely wasted a damn lot of our youth and our lives fussing over something as silly as our milk ducts.

I've spent a lot of time here trying to help people out, not judging and being as supportive as possible, even if that means holding my tongue when I think people are completely taking things out of perpective, because I know that it can be really, really difficult to deal with societal pressures and more severe problems like BDD. I know what it's like to live with the self doubt, and I also know what it's like to finally be free of that self-doubt. But sometimes it feels like people would rather continue feeling sorry for themselves than actually take any of our advice and encouragement into consideration. To completely reject strongirls words and not even consider how we sometimes sound (I know I'm guilty too!!) is an example of the lack of perspective that sometimes seems to take over this board. A small breast support group needs to be, well, supportive, and it's tough to do that when it turns into a pity party. Good on you strongirl for speaking your mind!

cutenotsexy, hon - hi! Sorry if I'm sounding bitchy today. I just wanted to comment on your name, which I also completely understand because I've also usually been mistaken for the sweet and innocent type ... but so much of "sexiness" is in your attitude and how you carry your body, not how it's shaped. Try wearing a miniskirt in a casual place where most people are wearing jeans, and see if you still feel cute but not sexy! wink.gif And please, don't trust your television more than you trust your boyfriend, that's not a good sign for your relationship! He's right, anyone considering plastic surgery should see a therapist first, not only to see if they want the surgery for the right reasons, but to make sure they are prepared to deal with the stress and the physical changes. Did you know suicide rates are higher among women with implants than women who've never had plastic surgery?
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starship
post Aug 24 2009, 07:27 PM
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QUOTE(Allison-Shine @ Aug 25 2009, 12:48 AM) *
Lightchested,

The new (34B) bras I bought do feel fine but out of sheer curiosity I am going to another place for a fitting. I just don't think that I can fill a C cup even at a smaller bra size. I am more concerned about bras fitting correctly than acheiving C cup status at this point. But thanks for the advice!


I read a magazine article once where the writer went to several different shops to be fitted and compared the results. The differences were quite surprising- one said she was a 36b and another said 32d etc, and very few measured her as the correct size. So yeah, might be worth a second opinion

I'm with persephone... It's a small breast support group. we come here to 'whine' about our breasts and get support, then support others when they need it too.
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Allison-Shine
post Aug 24 2009, 06:48 PM
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QUOTE(lightchested @ Aug 24 2009, 09:21 AM) *
Allison-

Try a 32C. The saleslady maybe didn't have any and hence didn't suggest it. I'll bet you could wear a 32C. Victoria's Secret has some in the Very Sexy line now...they didn't used to. And VS has more 32Cs online than in the stores. Nordstrom's has 32C's abound.

Good luck- just the thrill of wearing a C would be worth it, I'd think!

-Lightchested



Lightchested,

The new (34B) bras I bought do feel fine but out of sheer curiosity I am going to another place for a fitting. I just don't think that I can fill a C cup even at a smaller bra size. I am more concerned about bras fitting correctly than acheiving C cup status at this point. But thanks for the advice!
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Persephone3
post Aug 24 2009, 06:29 PM
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I feel bad about saying this and I really don't want to make anyone else feel bad (and maybe I'm just grumpy today so take this with a grain of salt) but I have to be honest - some of our posts (probably including some of mine) are striking me as vain, self-absorbed, immature, and whiny.

I completely disagree with your choice of words. I am VERY sorry about yor friend, but their are a lot of women who post here that have legitimate issues that may go deeper that just poor body image. This is a forum that has the specific purpose is to discuss 'breast issues'. A place for support when other people do not seem to understand. It is often difficult to overcome the criticism that society has for women regarding their appearance. That criticism has come from women as well as men.

I agree that we can all use a healthy dose of perspective, but I don't agree that any of these posts are 'vain, self-absorbed, immature, and whiny'.

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anarch
post Aug 24 2009, 05:55 PM
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Sorry for double posting, but I just ran across another damned ad where they presume to mess with the image of Knightly's chest.
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anarch
post Aug 24 2009, 03:04 PM
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QUOTE(strongirl @ Aug 24 2009, 02:10 PM) *
I think we ought to be careful not to fall into self-pity, mis-directed anger, and grossly overemphasizing our breast size in the overall scheme of our lives.


I can't blame you for reacting strongly after witnessing what your friend has to go through. When I was growing up, we had family friends whose daughter was large-boobed, and what we heard about all the negativity she experienced because of them probably helped me be grateful to have small boobs (though probably my foundation for feeling ok about my chest was that my family and friends didn't make me feel like shit for having smallies. For other things, yes, but not for that). She was finally able to get a breast reduction in her early 20s (MD didn't want to do it before that because of some misguided idea that she would whimsically change her mind).

And I'm grateful now to be in my late 30s, having had almost a couple of decades to practice a bunch of things. Positive self-thoughts. Cutting people out of my life who make me feel bad for not looking "good enough" or whatever the hell fucked up priorities they judged me by. Building a network of people who like themselves and like me too, and talk like it, instead of tearing me or other people down. I wish I could shake people who make put-down comments like "She's so flat" or ...is there an equivalent put-down for big boobs?...because those comments are cancerous. They're doing it to make themselves feel better about themselves, in a superficial, sheeplike way, and all it does is spread the misery and the poison.

Blech.

On a lighter note, I just saw two things:

1. Kelly Ripa on the cover of Life & Style, defending her small boobs, I gather (didn't read the article, just saw the cover while I was at the drugstore). Though I'm kind of annoyed that she explained away never seeing herself getting a boob job because she's too much of a "wimp".

2. Atonement with Keira Knightly, and it's probably been posted here before too but I'm totally in love with her dress and how gorgeous and smokin' hot she and her small boobs look in that movie. Rowr.
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strongirl
post Aug 24 2009, 01:10 PM
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I went camping this weekend with a good friend who is very large breasted. When she was younger and thinner she enjoyed this, even had a bumper sticker that said "Yes, they're real". But in the past few years she's put on some weight due to hormone injections she has to take to keep endometriosis under control. Her boobs are now enormous. She has to wear this bra that looks like it was built by the Army Corps of Engineers. Two of the disks in her spine are damaged by the weight of her breasts so now she has to have monthly epidurals to control the pain. It hurt me to watch her move. She's very brave and trying hard to stay active but she can no longer ski or waterski and doctors are saying if she doesn't lose weight, lose boobage, or be careful, she'll be in a wheelchair.

Then I come in here and read about people wanting implants even though their lovers are opposed, feeling like small boobs are a hardship in life, being pissed about things people say to them to try to make them feel better about small boobs, etc.

I feel bad about saying this and I really don't want to make anyone else feel bad (and maybe I'm just grumpy today so take this with a grain of salt) but I have to be honest - some of our posts (probably including some of mine) are striking me as vain, self-absorbed, immature, and whiny.

I support everyone's efforts to come to terms with the issues and enjoy better health, relationships, self-esteem, and sex. But I think we ought to be careful not to fall into self-pity, mis-directed anger, and grossly overemphasizing our breast size in the overall scheme of our lives.

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Aithinne
post Aug 24 2009, 12:43 PM
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buttercups- I'm not sure you can find something on such short notice. You CAN find sexy things to fit your torso, but, since your size is smaller than what clothing is generally made for, you'll just have to do some digging. There's no way around it, unfortunately. So I think when you plan for a trip, you should start shopping right away. You will try on A LOT of clothes, but DO NOT GET DISCOURAGED!!! You just have to try on more stuff to finally find the right outfit for you. Also- remember that tailoring is your friend. Find a great tailor that understands your needs and when you find a shirt or dress that you like, you can see what the tailor can do to alter it for you.

As far as sexy bras, your guess is as good as mine as to where to go to find sexy ones...lol!! laugh.gif Now, I do think you are very capable of making a plain white bra sexy as hell. It's all in the attitude. The other day, I had my hair all messy-sexy, my makeup on, and I was getting dressed to go out. I had on my white bra (because it makes the boobs have the nicest shape), and went in the bathroom to brush my teeth, and I was like, damn! I got the sexy librarian thing going on. So buttercups, moral of the story. Just keep looking for the sexy bras. But, realize you can look hot/sexy/drool-worthy whether you're completely covered or wearing nothing at all. Btw, that's always an option. Just don't wear anything. I'm sure his eyes will bug out.

cutenotsexy- oh girl, I understand your name!! You and buttercups both hit on something that bothers me a lot- looking cute and immature vs. looking womanly and beautiful. I personally hate being cute all the time, and I can totally understand the frustration of feeling like everyone thinks you're the puppy-stand-in. Since I'm struggling with the 'cute' label too, I think all I can offer you at this point is understanding. Maybe some of the other women here have other things to add, and I'll be listening closely too.
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starship
post Aug 24 2009, 11:30 AM
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why wear the wrong size bra? When I was even smaller I used to buy 32a's instead of the 34aa's that i actually needed, sure the cups fitted but having the band digging in all day just wasn't worth it

Hey cutenotsexy. It's not the kind of issue that just disappears overnight but I think your bfs right that you should try to deal with it in other ways first before resorting to something as drastic as plastic surgery. Sticking around here will be a great start:)

Today I discovered I can still do handstands and cartwheels and was genuinely happy to have teeny boobs

And i was flicking through the channels on my new TV package last night and came across one of those seedy channels where semi nude girls wriggle about on screen and persuade some poor fools to phone in and speak to them. There were two girls together- one with big breasts (maybe a D?) and another who mustve been a small B at the most. At first i thought the bigger ones must automatically be 'better' but then I realised that I actually thought the smaller girl's were sexier- and could suddenly believe a lot of men when they say they prefere smaller ones. I wont be so quick to assume they're lying in the future

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lightchested
post Aug 24 2009, 08:21 AM
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Allison-

Try a 32C. The saleslady maybe didn't have any and hence didn't suggest it. I'll bet you could wear a 32C. Victoria's Secret has some in the Very Sexy line now...they didn't used to. And VS has more 32Cs online than in the stores. Nordstrom's has 32C's abound.

Good luck- just the thrill of wearing a C would be worth it, I'd think!

-Lightchested


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May visible pyramids one day lurk beneath my sweaters.
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lightchested
post Aug 24 2009, 08:19 AM
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Cutenotsexy,

This is my hell too, what you've described. Husband did finally want me to get implants, just to end the hell, but I didn't anyway. I don't know what I want. I just want them to magically grow. It's a hard life to be sure.

Sometimes I'm happy to be small, like when I am sick. I know it sounds weird, but when I am very ill, I think, "Thank God I don't have a couple of bowling balls rolling around on top of me."

But unfortunately (I can't believe I'm writing this) I'm not that sick very often. (You'd think I'd be grateful for my health!)

It is hard.




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May visible pyramids one day lurk beneath my sweaters.
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cutenotsexy
post Aug 23 2009, 10:15 PM
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Hi ladies! Not sure where to start, and not entirely sure what I hope to accomplish. I feel that I am a beautiful, confident, intelligent woman.... with one small (hah!) exception. I'm not sure if it's biological, evolutionary, cultural, or what, but I hate my chest and am genuinely not sure how to get over it. I have a wonderful boyfriend and he claims to prefer small breasts, but I'm just not sure that I buy that. I know, I know - a woman's body doesn't exist for man's pleasure.... I agree, but why can't I get over this and be happy with myself? I've tried to talk to him about implants, and he says he won't support me unless I got to therapy to discuss my issues with my breasts first. I've become obsessed - not in a sexual way, but in a jealous/threatened way. Even if a girl is really cool, I'm very threatened by her if she has a large chest. I just feel.... boyish. sad.gif
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Persephone3
post Aug 23 2009, 08:02 PM
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QUOTE(buttercups @ Aug 23 2009, 04:23 PM) *
Ohhh I forgot- this is the perfect place to ask this question. I'm going away for a few days with my bf (we desperately need some alone time considering we both live at home for school- my god it can be awful!) and I want to get something sexy to wear. I usually can't wear any hot-looking bras bc I can't for the life of me fit in them. Does anyone know where I can get something sexy that will make me look like a grown woman and not a "cute little girl"? I can't order anything from online bc I'm leaving Tues. So is there any store or anything where reallll smallies have been able to find something hot? VS is pretty much out I don't think they cater to the AA. I really really want him to look at me and think I am every bit as sexy as if I was well-endowed. I think a hot little number could help with that. The last time we went on a little getaway like this was about a year ago and the only thing I could find was this lacy -ruffly nightie from Gilly Hicks. It was cute and very pretty, but not sexy. I need sexy right now!


I wrote this in an earlier post, but I found a whole rack of AA bras at Lord & Taylor. The cups were molded, but not overly padded, and they were soooo pretty. I wouldn't say they were vampy sexy, but definately sexy. I was shocked to find a whole rack of them too.
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buttercups
post Aug 23 2009, 03:23 PM
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Ohhh I forgot- this is the perfect place to ask this question. I'm going away for a few days with my bf (we desperately need some alone time considering we both live at home for school- my god it can be awful!) and I want to get something sexy to wear. I usually can't wear any hot-looking bras bc I can't for the life of me fit in them. Does anyone know where I can get something sexy that will make me look like a grown woman and not a "cute little girl"? I can't order anything from online bc I'm leaving Tues. So is there any store or anything where reallll smallies have been able to find something hot? VS is pretty much out I don't think they cater to the AA. I really really want him to look at me and think I am every bit as sexy as if I was well-endowed. I think a hot little number could help with that. The last time we went on a little getaway like this was about a year ago and the only thing I could find was this lacy -ruffly nightie from Gilly Hicks. It was cute and very pretty, but not sexy. I need sexy right now!
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buttercups
post Aug 23 2009, 03:13 PM
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Allison i would KILL KILL KILL for 34B's! In my eyes you are the luckiest girl in the world! That is my ideal size! I bet if i go to get fitted they will be like - you're a negative AAA haha- once you start doubling and tripling the A's whats the point anyways?

Aithinne I think it's the culture that really gets to me too. I wonder all the time if this culture were different would I even have any negative feelings towards my chest at all? I tend to think I wouldn't, which makes me sad that in another world I wouldn't feel this way about myself.

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Allison-Shine
post Aug 23 2009, 11:08 AM
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Went to get a fitting yesterday for the first time in a year and a half and now I am a 34B ! I was a 32B before and have been so since 18 (I'm 23 now). Funny how my breasts look fuller than they were then but still the same cup size. Almost thought I would be a C cup but the fitting lady says not quite. Maybe in another five years sad.gif LOL.
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p_176
post Aug 23 2009, 06:12 AM
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um yea c's and d's and above are heavy.
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Aithinne
post Aug 22 2009, 08:04 PM
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QUOTE(Allison-Shine @ Aug 19 2009, 03:02 PM) *
The ususal responses from women who are blessed in the chest area (or even over-blessed) and also men with fake sincerity:
  • More than a mouthful is a waste (Such a cheesy saying, what you plan on sucking on my breasts all day?? I don't think so!) dry.gif
  • At least your breasts won't sag as much when you get older (It's not as hideous as being disfigured or something)
  • Guys will ogle and leer at you less (A little attention, even unwarranted, now and then is not the end of the world)
  • No back pain (Oh like C cups are a back-breaker, someone give me a back brace)
  • Clothes fit better (Not all clothes fit the same you dummies, some fit worse when you are smaller chested)
I know I hardly added anything with this post but I'm a little jaded and had to vent.


Oy, I know. Why can't people just simply say "small boobies kick ass"? It's better than all this crap.

1. I must refer to karategrrl's quote: Try saying 'more than a mouthful is a waste' to a guy and see how HE likes it.
2. Small breasts can sag too. Plus, I hate having to think that small boobs will only be attractive when you're 70. Ugh. Try again.
3. The ogling... I don't know about anyone else here, but I'm damn tired of being invisible. It hurts. The busty chicks can send the men my way for all I care.
4. I agree..C's are heavy? Gimme a break.
5. Yep yep, clothes are made for medium busted chicks... SURPRISE!!!!

I've actually been loving my boobies lately, I'm much better about thinking positively about them since last year's breakdown when I joined this site. What makes me mad these days is our dumb culture that for some reason chooses to encourage shame for natural bodies. Makes me sick!
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angie_21
post Aug 21 2009, 07:13 AM
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Hey buttercups, I just want to remind you - those apps are not about boobs, they are about men getting to see women naked for men's enjoyment. That's what should piss you off about it. Keep reminding yourself, this fake-beauty, fake-boobied world is not something I want to be a part of. I don't want my reason for existing to be to help creepy/lonely/ horny men get off. I want to be appreciated for myself and my own beauty, on my own terms and for my own enjoyment.

And to be a bit hypocritical about what I've just said: Lilly Allen is pretty adorable. I know my boyfriend thinks she's hot. lol
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buttercups
post Aug 21 2009, 01:39 AM
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Hey Starship, I completely understand I'm the AA girl surrounded by C's and DD's in my family! It really is hard being at the beach and everything, but I think it was really helpful for me when I opened my eyes when I was there and saw a lot of girls that were just as small as me- and they looked damn good! My family tends to make alot of boob comments too and I've been starting to speak up about them for the first time ever. Its made me feel better to just go against what theyre saying and just be like "i think the girl with the chest as small as mine over there looks hot as hell!" and watch them shut up. That's awesome about the chest exercises, I've always thought about trying that but just figured it wouldnt make much of a difference, youve inspired me to start re-thinking it!

Allison-Shine omg those comments are exactly what bothers me too! They are all irritating in their own ways and I know people are trying to help but I wish they would think of something new instead of the same "you don't have to worry about getting attention" and "your back won't ache" thing. I am right there with you!

I had an OK day about "the girls" today until i was flipping through ipod applications and noticed how many of them were about seeing hot big boobed bikini babes naked. It's so silly about the things that get inside my head and under my skin. They're stupid ipod applications for chrissake and all I can think about is how i fail to measure up to the cartoon girls haha. Also, i didnt see one application for hot men- when is that gonna come about?
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