[karianne]

luna, I think that is one of the hardest parts of anxiety and depression. Not only do we feel bad enough from the anxiety & depression, but then we make ourselves feel worse by thinking things like "I should not feel this way." That is what I've experienced anyway.

Have fun on vacation, midge!

Ophelia, I agree with cloverbee. Does that sort of thing happen often? Sometimes symptoms be mild, but if they occur frequently, it might signal a problem.

[cloverbee]

yes, luna. that makes a lot of sense. I remember feeling like that at times but I don't anymore. It sounds like depression. and don't get all caught up in the age thing. almost everyone else your age is going thru something similar and nobody's life is a constant party. it was hell for me when I was 23. just try and focus on how you feel and what you are thinking. if maybe you can identify exactly what it is that makes you feel so sad and isolated, you may be able to work thru it. take care

[luna_rock]

i'm new around here, but i've been reading through these posts about anxiety...i've been dealing with panic/anxiety/depression for 4+ years, and just recently with proper attention. actually, i think i've had it all my life, but for some reason it became a huge issue when i started college (about 4 years ago).

well, here's my problem. i guess i feel like a huge weirdo for feeling this way. i know alot of anxiety has to do with your automatic thoughts, etc, etc. many many times have i felt like i have to go home and be alone and cry. i've had to go into the bathroom during work or school and just try to cry in order to feel more calm again. it's strange, but i feel like the biggest loser, because one part of me is telling myself that i'm 23 and i shouldn't worry about anything but having fun! so i feel strage about that. one thing i feel really weird about is being around people who are really negative and for some reason that triggers it too. does anyone else feel really sensitive to people's attitudes and mannerisms and things like that?

i guess like, i just feel really strange and awkward and freaked out in parties or places where socializing is going on. i always feel like i'm too sad, and too much is going on, that i have to leave and go to my room and surround myself with things that comfort me. which feels incredibly lame.

or, in social situations, i feel like a part of me takes over that isn't my deep true self and in one way i almost don't enjoy it and i would like to enjoy it totally as me being me...does that make sense??

[cloverbee]

ophelia, does that happen often? what was going on in your life/at work that day? need more info.

[opheliathemuse]

what counts as anxiety? I'm hesitant to call my unwilligness to socialize anxiety, but the other day I almost started crying at work because I just needed to come home and be alone. What qualifies?

[midgemcgrath]

wow, i am soooo exhausted! i didn't exactly have an "attack" today, but was really stressed out getting my thesis turned in, and by the time i made it home, i just had to take a nap. i didn't realize how wound up i had gotten, and am totally wiped out, just as if i'd had a real episode of super-anxiousness.

whew. now i have the week to recover and tie up loose ends before going on vacay, which i'm sure we all know is both exciting and anxiety causing! (why can't anything just be purely enjoyable??!!)

[laurenann]

thanks for the info on mouth guards and insurance, i'm due for a cleaning so i'll ask my dentist then. i am pretty sure i would be an eligible candidate for a proper mouth guard!

[mel]

My anxiety comes over me when dealing with people. I'll find suddenly I can't speak properly, can't present myself and/or my product in a dignified way--and then a wave of embarrasment comes over me and compounds the situation. I just want to be anywhere but there. This from someone who's a fairly accomplished speaker, no speech impediments, and outgoing most of the time. It's like I'm possessed by a different person.

And the teeth dreams--have had them my whole life. Heard it was money worries from one source, relationship worries from another, but what it seems to be about for me is irreversible change and loss.

Just the other night I dreamt I had a penis and donated half of it to a charity for children only to find out the charity was bogus! I figure that one is because I broke up with a love because he didn't want a child together, and have had an impossible time finding someone new (child-friendly or otherwise).

On my way to the pharmacy to get Clonapin...have been off it for a while, but figure better to give in to this in the short run, rather than get hit with a full blown panic episode.

[cloverbee]

skandelouslala, I feel you on the public speaking. I get anxiety speaking to one person. I take ativan when I have to do a speech so essentially I am drugged up. Yeah, I have it worse than others as well. I lose sleep for weeks before a presentation.

[karianne]

Congrats amber! That is awesome that you were able to enjoy the performance without attacks.

I think I have had the teeth falling out dream before, but not in a long time. What I get more often is a dream where I can't open my eyes or keep them open.

I bought a book last night that is about anxiety & panic. I find many self-help books useless, but I like this one. I will remember to look at it tonight so I can post the title & author. One helpful thing I've read so far concerns the unconsciousness. The author makes the case that we do not have to consciously control our breathing & make our hearts beat. It is involuntary. I like this because it means that I don't have to constantly monitor these things & make sure my heart isn't beating too fast, etc. My body will handle it for me. It is a relief, really. It means I don't have to constantly be on the defense.

[skandelouslala]

I'm glad that I don't experience the anxiety or panic in social situations really. Well I guess I do have a bit of social anxiety...the fear of public speaking...speaking in front of groups of 10+ people. It's seriously crippling. I know a lot of people have a fear of public speaking but not to the extent that I have it.

I dropped out of my college communications class b/c of it. It's a required class so I have to take it again eventually. I'm just hoping that when I do I'll have the anxiety thing under control, or be doped up on something in order to do it *heh*

But other than that...yeah luckily I don't experience the panic and feeling like I need to get out when I'm out and about, except on very very rare occassions.

What you guys are talking about with that though...I've read so many times in my psych textbooks and it's very common for people with anxiety to experience all those feelings.

I still have never experienced the teeth dreams or losing any body parts.

I dream about cats though lol
A lot. It's freaky and I think it means something. I've been having frequent dreams that involve cats since I was 16 or so (around the time the anxiety started).

[ambercherry]

((((cloverbee)))) anxiety sucks ass.

i had (to some extent still have) a problem with theatres of any kind. i cannot sit in the middle of a row with people sitting in every chair in the row - especially in the centre of the theatre. i have ruined some pretty good concerts for myself by fighting off attacks.

i am happy to say, though, that tonight i went to see cirque de soliel (fabulous) and did not have an attack! there were moments near the beginning that i thought i might have one, but i kept reminding myself that i could create calm. that, and the fact that there were only four people between me and the aisle, if i needed to get out. and it was hot and muggy outside, so the tent the show was in was pretty warm, too. and that tends to be worse for me as far as having an attack goes. funny, because i love this hot/muggy weather.

okay, so, to bring up the teeth dreams again - do any of you have dreams in which you lose other body parts? i have dreamt of losing my hand, and i have had other dreams related to such, just can't remember them right now. and it's late, so i should get some sleep.

[cloverbee]

maddy, I feel your pain. my panic attacks began when I was very young. I think I was about eight years old. I remember being the only person at parties who was nervous. I would ask my mom why I was nervous to go skating or do what other kids thought was "fun". I avoided movie theaters like the plague b/c I would panic. In seventh grade I was in band and during our practice nearly every time I would drop my trumpet and run out of the room in search of a phone to call my mom to come and get me from school. the teacher thought I was a nutcase as did all the other kids. I would lie to my mom telling her I was throwing up and then she would come and rescue me and I would immediately feel better and she would think I was faking it. I couldn't explain it and I had no idea what was going on w/ me. I just panicked and thought I was going to die. It was really hard dealing w/ it as a young kid b/c I never went to other kids houses for fear of being trapped there w/ no escape. I had no social life. I couldn't take trips w/ my family so I always stayed home alone. my parents had it w/ me b/c I would check out of school every single day. my mom hated me. my dad was pissed. it was hell. my biggest fear was puking in public. or puking at all for that matter. I had agorophobia also. I couldn't leave my house and going to school was pure hell. I've been there and I can say that I do still struggle w/ these issues as they are so ingrained into my psyche. I still have trouble w/ movie theatres or going out w/ a crowd where I can't leave any time but for the most part it is under control. I was a prisoner to my panic attacks for many many years. well, that's all I have to say now sorry for the novel.

[maddy29]

Also, just wanted to express my gratefulness for this forum. Years ago I thought I was the only person too scared to go out to eat, etc. I hated being out of my house, much less my room. My friend and I used to go to the same restaurant every few weeks, at a weird time so it'd be empty-cause neither of us could deal with people or new places. I still get nervous about going to new places, where I'm not sure if I'll be able to escape if I need to. It's nice to see I'm not alone! I always felt like a total freak of nature for being afraid to do stuff like getting my hair cut.

[maddy29]

hey cloverbee,
mine are either teeth falling out, rotting out, crumbling. i'm trying to call my dentist in the dream, trying to get an appt, can't remember dentist's number, etc.

i had one last night where parts of my teeth were going to come out, and i kept clicking them in and out of place, and then i was like maddy! stop moving them, they'll fall out faster!

i'm always SOOO relieved when i wake up and realize my teeth are not falling out.

i posted about these dreams years ago in a forum for sexual abuse survivors, and they said it was about control. i wonder though, if it's our minds telling us that our bodies (teeth/jaws) need attention? hence the trying to call the dentist in the dream?

i used to have daily panic attacks they were so exhausting and awful. i'd have to leave for work early so that i'd have time to have a full on panic attack when i got to work, and then have time to go to the bathroom, and then recover, wipe off the sweat, etc. Gotta say-xanax took care of that. i love me some xanax. even just knowing i have them and can take them whenever i need-just makes me feel more relaxed. i know people get concerned about the addictiveness of them, but i've never really had an issue with that. (and, i'm a huge pothead, so i'ts not like i don't have addictive tendencies). Ook, now i sound like a drug rep

[cloverbee]

does anybody ever have the dream that their teeth are clenched tightly and they cannot get them apart and it hurts? i have the teeth falling out dream too and I'm always crying and trying to find a dentist. my dentist says I need a mouth guard but I probably won't get one.

[crazyoldcatlady]

so, i don't get full blown attacks at all, but sometimes when i go out, i get (for lack of a better word) anxious. went to the public library today, and the stacks were too close together, it was too hot, too many people close by... just very uncomfortable.

and i don't know if this would help anyone, but sometimes when i go out, i'll pack the ipod and become an *that* iperson. i get to ignore sales people and bad muzak, and despite having lil' kim blaring, it's very calming

[maddy29]

I don't think it is off topic though! I had those dreams for years, and people told me "oh, those are control dreams, about losing control." But now I think that they were more than that! My dentist said that I had ground my two front teeth down so they are now even with the others. I noticed them changing but thought it was normal.

Just another reason to get treated for anxiety-dental problems! Who would have ever thought?

[ambercherry]

i hate those teeth-falling-out dreams!! i used to have them all the time, too. i wonder if it's because our teeth or jaw hurts while sleeping (because of whatever we're doing in our sleep), and therefore the pain causes a dream like that.

a few nights ago, i decided not to wear my mouthguard - it's wearing down and beginning to sometimes feel uncomfortable. but i would toss and turn and wake up often, wondering if i had been grinding. so, back to the mouthguard.

i was covered for my mouthguard a huge amount. i have porcelain veneers on my two front teeth and am so paranoid of chipping them in my sleep and the dentist who fitted me for the guard (not the same as the one who put on the veneers) was surprised i hadn't had a guard from the get-go with the veneers.

okay, sorry the last little thing is off topic.

(((((all the anxious busties)))))

[maddy29]

Mouthguards-
My insurance paid for 75% of my mouthguard, my dentist fitted it to my mouth, etc. It's really great, I don't wear it every night cause sometimes it's annoying, but it helps with the grinding and hurty jaw. Call your insurance and ask them what they'll cover-if there is a reason for getting one, they should. My dr. told me if I didn't get a mouthguard that eventually I could have big problems from so much grinding away of the tooth. gross.

Teeth dreams- I used to have these all the time! Very disturbing dreams about my teeth crumbling and falling out, etc. I actually had one last night, I hate those!!!! Maybe that means I should've been wearing my mouthguard...