[tesao]

Water vs Wine

It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter of water each

day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of

Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria found in feces.

In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poo. However, we do not run

that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer or other liquor because

alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or

fermenting.

WATER = Poo

WINE = HEALTH

Ergo: It is better to drink wine and talk stupid than to drink water and be

full of crap.



There is no need to thank me for this valuable information; I am doing it as a public service.

[culturehandy]

Anarch I love it!

I remember we used to have a joke thread! But I do believe it is long gone.

hee

[totomoto]

http://comics.com/wash/opus/archive/opus-20070218.html

Best Valentine's Cartoon

Good one Anarch!!

Hello again everyone!!

[anarch]

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.
The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.


The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."
The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."

"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."
She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?"

"Um. I HATE liver and cheese ," blurts the Golden Retriever.
"My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence."

She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?" The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua.

He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says






"Liver alone. Cheese mine."

[tesao]

love my pugs, there is a voting thread called suffering sufferagettes somewhere here.

let me see if i can find it and bump it for you. there have been a number of people talking about hillary. not so much rudy.

*runs out with bloodhound to search for missing thread*

[LoveMyPugs]

Ok, so I'm really irritated with having to vote in 2008. There are too many people running. It's hard to decipher who is for or against what. Are there any websites that list all the candidates, their stance on all the issues and all on one site so I’m not jumping from site to site. This one talks about abortion but not gay marriage. This one talks about Iraq but not healthcare. This one talks about jobs but not social security. Driving me crazy. I’m trying to build my own little excel spreadsheet so I can see it all for myself but I’m not find what I want on the individual websites. HELP!! This will be only my second time voting and I want to make a responsible decision but I’m having a hard with each candidates’ individual website. I know I have a lot of time to research but I'm getting frustrated.

What’s everyone’s opinion on Hillary Clinton and/or Rudy Giuliani?

*wondering if this is the wrong thread to be asking these questions*

[tesao]

AP, you are cracking me up with your spam "bot" posts!!!

BUSH BUMPER STICKERS:

Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber.

If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President.

George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will
Have to Fight

Impeachment: It's Not Just for Blowjobs Anymore

America: One Nation, Under Surveillance

They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It

No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade Iraq?

Bush: God's Way of Proving Intelligent Design is Full
Of Crap

We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One
Language

We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them

Impeach Cheney First

When Bush Took Office, Gas Was $1.46

The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century

One Nation Under Clod

Bush Never Exhaled

At Least Nixon Resigned

[auralpoison]

Out out damned bot!

[Aese4]

WOOOOW!
http://amazing-videos.info/

[totomoto]

An Old farmer was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked
on the door and a very pretty young lady dressed in a very
sheer negligee answered the door.

He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked "would
you like to buy some peaches?"

She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and ask "are they
as firm as this?"

He nodded his head and said, "Yes" and a little tear ran from
his eye.

Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking "are
they nice and pink like this?"

The farmer said "yes" and another tear came from the other eye.

Then lady then opened the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are
they as fuzzy as this?"

He again said "yes" and broke down crying.

The lady said "what in the world is wrong with you?"

Drying his eyes he said, "The drought got my corn, the flood got
my cotton, and now I'm gonna get screwed out of my peaches."

[culturehandy]

High School Coolness Test

[tesao]

more levity:



Aging

An elderly couple visit McDonalds. He orders one hamburger, one order of french fries and one drink. The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counts out the french fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placing one pile in front of his wife. He takes a sip of the drink, his wife takes a sip and then sets the cup down between them. As he begins to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them keep looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking, "That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them." As the old man begins to eat his fries a young man comes to the table. He politely offers to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man says they are just fine - they are used to sharing everything. The surrounding people notice the little old lady hasn't eaten a bite. She sits there watching her husband eat and occasionally takes turns sipping the drink. Again the young man comes over and begs them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman says "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything." As the old man finishes and is wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again comes over to the little old lady who has yet to eat a single bite of food and asks "What is it you are waiting for?"



She answers....























"THE TEETH"

[totomoto]

NWW,

I have thought about this. A conspiracy is planning by two or more people, to commit a felony, with a significant step done in perpetrating the felony. That is from memory.

The CIA Director told Bush the WMDs were a slam dunk. Congress was finessed into authorizing the invasion before the November elections. I think the fake Nigerian document could be used against them, but it came from the Brits. It was definitely used even though it was known to be fake.

The problem is that these are the policy makers for the nation. If we go after them for conspiracy it should be because they didn't have the nation's interest in mind. The worst part is they DID have our interests in mind, it is just a different view of our interest than most of us have. We gave them credit for a lot of knowledge that they did not have.

The surge will not work. We are just doing a last gasp effort before ultimate withdrawal. The jockying for control and power in Iraq will not be pretty. Iran wants to be recognized as a nation and not to be invaded. Many Americans can't understand Iran, but Iran has been successful in becoming a focal point in the Muslim world. They have accrued much prestige. It is in their best interest to make sure our armies are preoccupied with Iraq.

Our biggest problem is getting out of this mess. I don't want to be distracted with special investigations and prosecutors. The watergate era was extemely poloarizing and depressing. I kinow we will have investigations, I am not looking forward to them.

As I tell people, let's become Iran's best customer.

[notwearingwords]

I've been reading this thread and I thought I'd share a book I'm reading that I think some of you may enjoy. It is called U.S. v. Bush by Elizabeth de la Vaga, who is a former federal prosecutor. The book is basically a fictional transcript of an indictment presented to a Grand Jury charging George W. Bush, Richard Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Condoleezza Rice and Colin Powell with conspiracy to defraud the United States. All of the facts presented in the book are real and completely factual, this charge could legally be brought against these defendants if the US Attorney's office were inclined to prosecute. I may be biased because I am in school for political science and women's studies and plan to go to law school when I've completed my degree, but I think the book is fascinating and I think it would be wonderful to hold these people accountable for tricking most of America and Congress to engage in an unnecessary war. Let me know if any of you decide to read it, whatever your opinion of it may be. It's so fascinating I've been craving a book club, just to have someone to discuss it with.

[totomoto]

A chuckle for your new year!


This chain letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged men. Even the font is easy to read. Unlike most chain letters, this one doesn't cost anything!

Just send a copy of this letter to five of your male friends who are equally tired and discontent. Then bundle up your wife and/or girlfriend and send her to the man whose name appears at the top of the following list, and add your name to the bottom of the list.

When your turn comes, you will receive 15,625 women. One of them is bound to be better than the one you already have.

At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine had already received 184 women, four of whom were worth keeping.

This chain also brings good luck. One man's pit bull died, and the next day he received a Playboy playmate.

An unmarried Jewish man living with his widowed mother was able to choose between a Hooter's waitress and a Hollywood super model.

You can be lucky too, but DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN! One man broke the chain and got his wife back again.

Let's keep it going, men! Just add your name to the list below.
----------------------
Bill Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017

Billy Clinton
780 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10017

Billie Clinton
780 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10017

B. Clinton
780 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10017

William Jefferson Clinton
780 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10017

W. Jefferson Clinton
780 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10017

W. Jeff Clinton
780 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10017

W. J Clinton
780 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10017

W. Clinton
780 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10017

William J Clinton
780 3r d Ave.
New York, NY 10017

Willem Clinton
780 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10017

Wilhelm Clinton
780 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10017

Billy Clinton
780 3rd Ave.
New York , NY 10017

Willie Clinton
780 3rd Ave.
New York , NY 10017

Will Clinton
780 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10017

Mr. Hillary Clinton
780 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10017

[totomoto]

for those of you old enough to remember Gracie:

Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Roast Beef

1 large Roast of beef

1 small Roast of beef

Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done


An old Indian Chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two U. S. Government officials sent to interview him.

"Chief Two Eagles" asked one Official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The Official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion,
where did the white man go wrong?"

The Chief stared at the Government Officials for over a minute and then
calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Indians were running it."

"No taxes."

"No debt."

"Plenty buffalo."

"Plenty beaver."

"Women did all the work."

"Medicine man free."

"Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing."

"All night having sex."

Then the Chief leaned back and smiled, "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."

[anarch]

cool map.

The Bathtub Test

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."







"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

[totomoto]

5,000 years of religion in 90 seconds

http://www.mapsofwar.com/ind/history-of-religion.html

[totomoto]

A few fotos for your amusement.

http://aycu34.webshots.com/image/9753/2006...41195037_rs.jpg

http://aycu33.webshots.com/image/7952/2006...27220642_rs.jpg

http://aycu24.webshots.com/image/8503/2006...07923683_rs.jpg

http://aycu04.webshots.com/image/9043/2001...42008512_rs.jpg

http://aycu25.webshots.com/image/8504/2001...97486861_rs.jpg

http://aycu14.webshots.com/image/9453/2001...40419479_rs.jpg

Hi Tesao and Anarch. Good to see you. I'll try to get back more often.

[anarch]

yeah. I miss your posts too, toto. Come back!




The husband had just finished reading a new book: 'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE.'

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife.

Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law! You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have all the sex that I want.

After that, you are going to draw my bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring my robe. Then you will
massage my feet and hands. Then after that's done, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

His wife replied, "The funeral director would be my guess!!"