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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
strongirl
post Jul 13 2011, 08:59 AM
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Hey lovely small busties, I've been computer-less for a spell, thus the non-posting. Wow, lots of good stuff to catch up on!

Gotta get to work but a couple of quick comments.

DeeRayy, I was so glad that something I said - the comment about not letting your insecurities become bigger than the attraction between you - resonated and made a positive difference for you. That made me feel really good and I am so glad it's helped. smile.gif

On the thyroid - I also am hypothyroid, diagnosed several years ago, and managed to royally f. up my medication earlier this year, which had a hugely negative impact on my health. I'm just now coming out of it. I know quite well what it's like to feel let down or betrayed by my body. But I try to flip that around - that my body is telling me what it needs and it's up to me to listen. Let me also point out that thyroid affects all hormones, and hormones affect emotions and mood. When your thyroid is off, your perceptions and reactions to things are altered, and not in a good way. For myself, I try to be aware of and respect my feelings all the time but not necessarily act on them - or even believe them! - when I know I'm under the influence of hormonal imbalance, thyroid, menopausal, or otherwise.

Karategrrl, re. the 3 different people's reactions in a single day - what a great example of how crazy it can make us when we buy into other people's assessments of our appearance. When it comes to people's preferences, the only absolute is variation. The good news about that is that everybody looks good to somebody! The bad news is there really is no such thing as "perfection" when it comes to appearance, so we can never say "Yes! Now I'm perfect! I'm satisfied!". Which leads me to...

DeeRayy, your "straight A" perfectionism makes me wonder if there's a commonality in many of us who post here - we're not just small-breasted, we're small-breasted, intelligent, and perfectionistic. And it's that combination that makes us tend to be unhappy about our breasts, or at least question the role they play in our lives and in society. If we were less perfectionistic, maybe we wouldn't get so hung up on all this. I think I was in my mid-twenties when I had the realization "Perfectionism can be a mental health problem". Since then, I try not to let myself get too far down the path of torturing myself when things aren't perfect. I try to tell myself "You'll never be perfect...so just settle for fabulous!" smile.gif

Ha, so much for "quick comments".
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karategrrl
post Jul 13 2011, 06:50 AM
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I had to share something weird with you all.

Yesterday, I had THREE comments about my appearance from strangers or people I hardly know:

1. In my office cafeteria: One of the female workers there was complimenting me non-stop: "I love your skirt!" "Have you lost weght? You look fantastic"

2. Not even 5 minutes later: 2 male strangers in the hallway, checking me out. One said to the other: "She's too skinny."

3. Early evening, at the gym: male acquaintance said I "was" at my best 2 months ago: "You were lean and shredded then," i.e., I'm not now.


Just goes to show you cannot go too much by what either people think of your appearance, or you will drive yourself nuts.
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DeeRayy
post Jul 12 2011, 03:44 PM
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QUOTE(Allison-Shine @ Jul 12 2011, 12:16 PM) *
I thought with the way lots of kids are turning out these days any parent would be proud of their hard-working, productive child of any age and not refer to them as a "monster".


just to clarify, she wasn't actually referring to me as a "monster", she was saying that I myself act like I look so horrible with the way I get so upset and depressed about my appearance. thus the whole "you act like you're a monster" comment, meaning she thinks I exaggerate my flaws.

and i think she only mentions the implants out of frustration because she hates to see me upset and crying and she thinks that it would end all of these issues i'm having. like i've mentioned earlier, my family is not very anti-plastic. they don't see anything wrong with plastic surgery of any kind. they go by that "if you don't like something, change it" motto, which is fine for them. but it doesn't align with the way i see things.
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Allison-Shine
post Jul 12 2011, 02:16 PM
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QUOTE(DeeRayy @ Jul 12 2011, 02:29 PM) *
thank you so much buttercups for the response. it helps to hear from someone else who knows what it's like to struggle on such a deep level. i'm just really looking forward to moving out in september so that i can have some time on my own. i tried to talk to my mother last night about how i was feeling and she just went off on me, saying how i need to stop it already and how i'm so over dramatic ( "you act like you're a monster or something!" is the way she put it). that definitely made me feel kind of guilty but i understand why she gets so frustrated with me. the only thing i really get upset about with her is that she keeps pushing the idea of implants on me. she makes me question my own reasons for not wanting them. i feel enough pressure to get the surgery as it is, i don't need any more from her.

it's definitely frustrating because as a woman i always feel sooooo much pressure to look and be a certain way, and it really gets to me since so much value is put on a woman's appearance. i admit i do care too much about what other people think and that affects my well being. it's like i have this immense fear of being judged, or not measuring up to everyone's expectations of me. i've always been like that. i remember the first time i got a B on an assignment in grade school i damn near had a nervous breakdown because i was no longer a straight A student. i guess i just put too much pressure on myself to be perfect, and since my body (especially my boobs) is something that i can't control i get particularly upset with it.


I left home at 18 for college and despite that I had to work along with going to school to cover living expenses, it was worth every penny to get that "time on my own". Money well spent ! Note: I got along great with my family but really needed my space for very personal reasons that are sometimes hard to explain.

Regarding breast implants, I can expect comments from certain men (and women) but not from one's own mother. For God's sake, now we have to hear it from our own mothers regarding body issues and appearance. Thankfully my Mom was not like that, even when seeing me next to my taller, more voluptuous D-cupped 18 year old sister, that idea would never come out of her mouth. The good person that you are and your accomplishments should outweigh the issues you have (and your reactions to them) in the eyes of others if I am making a shred of sense.

I thought with the way lots of kids are turning out these days any parent would be proud of their hard-working, productive child of any age and not refer to them as a "monster".

Actually I am a total peace with myself being a B-student in high school and college smile.gif And getting to be at better peace with being a barely B-cup. Maybe B is my destiny, lmao. I know, some in here probably think I have big hooters comparitvely speaking. Then by all means do tell me that, my ego can use some stroking now and then. wink.gif
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DeeRayy
post Jul 12 2011, 01:29 PM
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thank you so much buttercups for the response. it helps to hear from someone else who knows what it's like to struggle on such a deep level. i'm just really looking forward to moving out in september so that i can have some time on my own. i tried to talk to my mother last night about how i was feeling and she just went off on me, saying how i need to stop it already and how i'm so over dramatic ( "you act like you're a monster or something!" is the way she put it). that definitely made me feel kind of guilty but i understand why she gets so frustrated with me. the only thing i really get upset about with her is that she keeps pushing the idea of implants on me. she makes me question my own reasons for not wanting them. i feel enough pressure to get the surgery as it is, i don't need any more from her.

it's definitely frustrating because as a woman i always feel sooooo much pressure to look and be a certain way, and it really gets to me since so much value is put on a woman's appearance. i admit i do care too much about what other people think and that affects my well being. it's like i have this immense fear of being judged, or not measuring up to everyone's expectations of me. i've always been like that. i remember the first time i got a B on an assignment in grade school i damn near had a nervous breakdown because i was no longer a straight A student. i guess i just put too much pressure on myself to be perfect, and since my body (especially my boobs) is something that i can't control i get particularly upset with it.
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karategrrl
post Jul 11 2011, 02:19 PM
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You ladies are too freaking funny about the boob par-tay, especially Skindeep's bringing her mustache. LOL!!!!!!!


DeeRayy:
Iím really sorry youíre feeling down about the bod right now. I wish I had something magical to say that would totally change everything for you, but alas, I don't, except maybe to be kind and gentle with yourself. Do whatever it takes to feel better, in ways both big and small. And maybe stay away from the mirror a bit too right now? wink.gif

"what's the difference between a mammogram and a regular breast exam?"

A "regular" exam is the dr. feeling your breasts manually. We should all be doing breast self-exams monthly, preferably in the shower, with soapy/slippery hands. I am guilty of not doing this enough; here are instructions. At your appointment with your doctor, he or she will also manually check your booblets.

A mammogram is an x-ray of the breast tissue, where they put your boobies between two flat plastic panels and take 2 images: one straight down, one from the side.

All 3 types of exams are important:
1. Self-exams help you to become familiar with the way your breasts feel and are your 1st line of defense against anything wrong; if you notice anything unusual, you bring it to your doctor.
2. Doctor manual exams are for a professional opinion; while YOU are the authority on how your own breasts feel, THEY are the authority on how they feel compared to the hundreds of others they feel. Every breast has little bumps, etc. but doctors are well-versed in how abnormalities/tumors feel, and may direct you to further testing if they have any concerns.
3. Mammograms can detect abnormalities too small for human touch.

Forgive meóI work in health care marketing and education! rolleyes.giflaugh.gif I am passioante about self-care and health.
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anarch
post Jul 10 2011, 10:21 PM
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hell, I meant to say something supportive too: I hope we can meet in person one day, all of us, because you're all so thoughtful and caring and I *know* each of you is beautiful in interesting (not boring, conventional) ways. It would be so cool to be able to tell each other all these supportive things in person. We'd point out the beauty in each other. And we'd have great belly-laughs together!
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anarch
post Jul 10 2011, 10:14 PM
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Curious what you gals think of this:

Victoria's Secret Leopard-Print Wrap Monokini

Sure looks to me like it's designed for smallies. It's actually a one-piece. See the back view. I'm tempted (though animal prints are actually too Look At Me! Look At Me! for my taste), but what the hell keeps it in place? If you lift your arms, will it lift up and show nipples? Maybe it's one of those things that's designed for beach lounging and not actually doing anything active...
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buttercups
post Jul 9 2011, 07:10 PM
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Hey guys, sorry I've been so in-and-out lately, but going crazy getting things ready for a new job, moving in with the bf, trying to pass the biggest test of my life- gah just everything!

Anyways, DeeRayy, *bigggggggggg hug* I can totally relate to how you're feeling- misshapen- but you are being way way WAYYY too hard on yourself. My goodness hunny you have a thyroid condition, you're already not feeling so great as it is, so please do me and you a favor and give yourself a friggin break! I'm not going to try to get you to point out all of your strong points right now (of which there are numerous I know) because I know exactly the kind of mood you are in and I know that sometimes it's just too hard to see them during this time, but what I do what you to do is stop being so hard on yourself and your body during this difficult time and try to be more understanding of yourself. If I had a thyroid condition would you ever say such things to me?? So many women are a size 8 and have small breasts- heck so many women wear a size much higher than an 8 and have small breasts. I for one am envious of women who are a healthier size with small breasts because I think it looks way more womanly than my tiny child-like frame. Small breasts on me looks like I haven't been through puberty for chrissake- so know that there is someone out here who is envious of your shape! Don't put all this pressure on yourself, it is only going to make you feel worse and worse. We all get angry with our bodies, I'm in a battle with mine everyday, but sometimes we just have to let go of all of this horrible pressure we put on ourselves to be a certain way. Thyroid or not, 5 extra pounds or 200 extra pounds, you are incredibly beautiful inside and out- and you will see that once everything else including your medical condition gets straightened out a little. For now, please take this nurse's orders and curl up with a nice book or some trashy tv (more my style), make some tea or light some soothing candles and RELAX. xoxox
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DeeRayy
post Jul 9 2011, 03:50 PM
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hey guys. i've been keeping my posts positive lately, but it seems i'm having a relapse of sorts. i'm in a phase right now where i'm just upset with my body. literally mad at it. you see, it's never really been the size of my boobs alone that have bothered me, but it's the size of my boobs in proportion to the rest of my body. i'm actually at a lower weight right now than i was in high school, but i'm still what you would call "thick" [size 8]. and it's really frustrating because the issues that i'm having with my thyroid are making it extremely difficult to lose weight. my mom just tells me to hang in there and keep at it, but really she has no idea how difficult it is to lose weight with an under active thyroid when your doctor doesn't want to start medication yet. i just feel so out of proportion and misshapen. i don't see a woman's body when i look in the mirror, i just see this shapeless form. i know i should try to take pride in my strong points, but lately i really don't see any. all i see is my pudgy stomach, my lack of hips, my small boobs, my whatever butt. i'm trying to see something, anything that i can take pride in but i can't seem to find anything. i feel so abnormal because most women with small breasts are either very thin or are pear shaped so they at least have a small waist and full hips. i'm not like that- i carry all my weight in my stomach and thighs, and it makes me feel so...i don't want to say deformed but, just odd looking. and i get angry at my body- for not developing breasts, for not having a working thyroid, for just looking like it does. i sometimes feel like my body is my own worst enemy sometimes because it causes me so much grief. i don't expect you guys to relate to what i'm going through with my body, i'm just expressing my frustrations because i get so tired of feeling like this, and i haven't felt this bad in a while.
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KeraBear
post Jul 8 2011, 09:35 PM
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QUOTE(DeeRayy @ Jul 8 2011, 02:40 PM) *
haha, what's the difference between a mammogram and a regular breast exam? my doctor sprung my first breast exam on me last year and it was mighty awkward. she just started feeling me up out of nowhere! and i was like "whoa whoa! what's going on here doc??".


Hey! You'd think she would at least buy you dinner before she tried going to second base?! wink.gif Ha ha... she didn't at least warn you first? Too funny. LOL

QUOTE(DeeRayy @ Jul 8 2011, 02:40 PM) *
don't fret karategrrl, you're still a hottie!


I second this!

QUOTE(skindeep1991 @ Jul 8 2011, 04:36 PM) *
SEXY PARTY!!!!

I'll bring my mustache =D


Whoa... the ladies in the small booby group getting freeeeeeakkkkaaayy!!! On second thought, maybe we shouldn't be advertising this! We've already had a hard enough time in the past keeping the creepers out!
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skindeep1991
post Jul 8 2011, 03:36 PM
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QUOTE(DeeRayy @ Jul 8 2011, 07:40 PM) *
(can anyone say sexy party?)


SEXY PARTY!!!!

I'll bring my mustache =D
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DeeRayy
post Jul 8 2011, 01:40 PM
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QUOTE(karategrrl @ Jul 8 2011, 06:00 AM) *
Awesomesauce!!!!??? laugh.gif Okay, you totally made my fucking day!! Thank you and YIPPEEEE! I admit I'm going through a tad bit of insecurity--I'm lookingin the mirror and seeing lots of "face-aging" shit I don't like. I've noticed the neck doing weird wrinkly things in the last couple of years, then the face doing strange jowl-like shit. Last night I noticed this little strange outer eyelid sag thing and I was like, "WTF?" From the neck down, though, I'm pretty happy with myself and I say, shit, I don't look bad for 42, but in the back of my mind is this fear that I can't "keep up appearances" for that long. Forget the tits, lately I'm shocked at my face. Never mind that I seem to have gone into hair-production overdrive on my upper lip and chin. Seriously, WTF? I ordered a facial epilator yesterday.


hmmmm i'm going to bet that the only one noticing these things is you karategrrl. it's like we said, we're our own worst enemies sometimes! we tend to blow up our "flaws" when we look in the mirror until that's all we can see. i finally managed to lose the weight i gained from the thyroid problems i was having this spring, and i feel like myself again. but boy did i beat myself up over those extra pounds while they were still on me! it didn't matter that it was a medical condition that caused them, i still managed to get mad at myself for it. so i think you also need to give yourself a break missy. oh and on the mini mustache thing- i , like skindeep, am pretty dark and already have to wax my upper lip. it's really no big deal.

don't fret karategrrl, you're still a hottie! and 42 isn't even old! my mother is only a couple years younger than you and she still gets carded when she buys alcohol.

QUOTE
I'll leave you FANTASTIC ladies with this request:
I'm getting my annual mammogram later today--you know, that thing you have to do when you turn into an old fuck, ha. One of my best friends is a mamm tech and she does my exams, and it's a fucking riot. So please send my sweet 42-year-old booblets some special lovin' as they get squished. (Haha, they look much bigger in the x-ray--all smooshed.)
You ladies rock mightily.


haha, what's the difference between a mammogram and a regular breast exam? my doctor sprung my first breast exam on me last year and it was mighty awkward. she just started feeling me up out of nowhere! and i was like "whoa whoa! what's going on here doc??". haha, so i wish your boobies well as they get all smooshed and squished (can anyone say sexy party?)
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skindeep1991
post Jul 8 2011, 01:29 PM
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QUOTE(karategrrl @ Jul 8 2011, 02:00 PM) *
Awesomesauce!!!!??? laugh.gif Okay, you totally made my fucking day!! Thank you and YIPPEEEE! I admit I'm going through a tad bit of insecurity--I'm lookingin the mirror and seeing lots of "face-aging" shit I don't like. I've noticed the neck doing weird wrinkly things in the last couple of years, then the face doing strange jowl-like shit. Last night I noticed this little strange outer eyelid sag thing and I was like, "WTF?" From the neck down, though, I'm pretty happy with myself and I say, shit, I don't look bad for 42, but in the back of my mind is this fear that I can't "keep up appearances" for that long. Forget the tits, lately I'm shocked at my face. Never mind that I seem to have gone into hair-production overdrive on my upper lip and chin. Seriously, WTF? I ordered a facial epilator yesterday.

Then again, I got in to work today to have one of the security guards tell me that he saw another guy--this middle-aged dude--practically fall down and do convulsions at the sight of me yesterday (I think that was how he said it, ha), which I find kind of amusing. Part of me doubts it, and says, "Big deal, guys get off at the sight of any woman who's not elderly or morbidly obese," and the other part of me says, "Heh, jowls or not, I still got it." So Kera, your comment is compliment #2 this morning. Thank you for the lift!!!!!! Needed it!!!!!
Skindeep:
You're not the only one who's got "ex" complexes. That's one of my challenges, too. I generally don't do too well with the whole "ex" thing, but I'm getting better. DeeRayy's post on this was TOTALLY on the mark--yes, they are EXes for a reason! Recnetly my hubby got back in touch with an ex of his (fuckin' Facebook) and it was actually kinda funny to see that this girl he'd talked about and I'd worked up in my head as being this hot knockout is, like, not to be mean, but I'll just say she's no threat. At all. So yes, DeeRayy's right--our own worst enemies are in our own heads!

Which brings me to Kera's mention of her and DR's "positivity" thread. Way to go, grrls!!!!!!!!! Good shit. Thinking more positively has seriously changed my life. And I guess if I wasn't thinking good thoughts, I'd be totally down in the dumps about my face, instead of like, "Huh?" wink.gif


I'll leave you FANTASTIC ladies with this request:
I'm getting my annual mammogram later today--you know, that thing you have to do when you turn into an old fuck, ha. One of my best friends is a mamm tech and she does my exams, and it's a fucking riot. So please send my sweet 42-year-old booblets some special lovin' as they get squished. (Haha, they look much bigger in the x-ray--all smooshed.)
You ladies rock mightily.


Personally I think a woman with a couple of wrinkles here and there is a hell lot more attractive than bot-ox faced women. There's nothing sexier than aging gracefully apposed to pumping yourself with chemicals cause no one wants to end up with the Jacky Stallone look that's not a good look to be wearing out.
That's the perk of having small breasticles, always perky =D. After all men are doing convulsions at the sight of you so I'm sure you look amazing.

Thing is I don't feel too intimidated by his less attractive ex's like you said, but it's the really attractive ones that really get to me. I hate the thought of it and It upsets me.
He's in trouble with me today anyway for the utter lack of respect he's showed me earlier, it's a long story but basically left me feeling used. so not a good feeling at the moment.

I hope your booblets will be okays after being smushed D= I will send lots of love your way <3

Also being quite a dark girl I have a little mustache already and i'm only 19 so by the time I get to 50 odd i'm going to have a full on beard haha
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karategrrl
post Jul 8 2011, 08:00 AM
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QUOTE(KeraBear @ Jul 8 2011, 02:12 AM) *
I am giving Karategrrl honorary teen status because she is so awesomesauce! smile.gif

Awesomesauce!!!!??? laugh.gif Okay, you totally made my fucking day!! Thank you and YIPPEEEE! I admit I'm going through a tad bit of insecurity--I'm lookingin the mirror and seeing lots of "face-aging" shit I don't like. I've noticed the neck doing weird wrinkly things in the last couple of years, then the face doing strange jowl-like shit. Last night I noticed this little strange outer eyelid sag thing and I was like, "WTF?" From the neck down, though, I'm pretty happy with myself and I say, shit, I don't look bad for 42, but in the back of my mind is this fear that I can't "keep up appearances" for that long. Forget the tits, lately I'm shocked at my face. Never mind that I seem to have gone into hair-production overdrive on my upper lip and chin. Seriously, WTF? I ordered a facial epilator yesterday.

Then again, I got in to work today to have one of the security guards tell me that he saw another guy--this middle-aged dude--practically fall down and do convulsions at the sight of me yesterday (I think that was how he said it, ha), which I find kind of amusing. Part of me doubts it, and says, "Big deal, guys get off at the sight of any woman who's not elderly or morbidly obese," and the other part of me says, "Heh, jowls or not, I still got it." So Kera, your comment is compliment #2 this morning. Thank you for the lift!!!!!! Needed it!!!!!


Skindeep:
You're not the only one who's got "ex" complexes. That's one of my challenges, too. I generally don't do too well with the whole "ex" thing, but I'm getting better. DeeRayy's post on this was TOTALLY on the mark--yes, they are EXes for a reason! Recnetly my hubby got back in touch with an ex of his (fuckin' Facebook) and it was actually kinda funny to see that this girl he'd talked about and I'd worked up in my head as being this hot knockout is, like, not to be mean, but I'll just say she's no threat. At all. So yes, DeeRayy's right--our own worst enemies are in our own heads!

Which brings me to Kera's mention of her and DR's "positivity" thread. Way to go, grrls!!!!!!!!! Good shit. Thinking more positively has seriously changed my life. And I guess if I wasn't thinking good thoughts, I'd be totally down in the dumps about my face, instead of like, "Huh?" wink.gif


I'll leave you FANTASTIC ladies with this request:
I'm getting my annual mammogram later today--you know, that thing you have to do when you turn into an old fuck, ha. One of my best friends is a mamm tech and she does my exams, and it's a fucking riot. So please send my sweet 42-year-old booblets some special lovin' as they get squished. (Haha, they look much bigger in the x-ray--all smooshed.)


You ladies rock mightily.
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KeraBear
post Jul 7 2011, 09:12 PM
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Oh yeah, and i just counted. NINE posts today from the under-20 crowd. Ha ha. Teens rule the small boobie site yet again!!

EDIT: Actually, no, I am updating this to TEN. I am giving Karategrrl honorary teen status because she is so awesomesauce! smile.gif
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KeraBear
post Jul 7 2011, 09:08 PM
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QUOTE(skindeep1991 @ Jul 7 2011, 06:30 AM) *
We should have a day where we just make each other feel better about things we don't like about ourselves. doesn't have to be breasts can be anything but I think it would be a feel good day, and possibly a little freeing...

let me know your thoughts?


Hmm... interesting thought. I dunno though... in a recent PM exchange with DeeRayy we both challenged ourselves to name five things that we liked about ourselves physically (and yes, it WAS challenging! I had to stop and think for five minutes or so when I got to number five). We both agreed that it was a positive experience. We also agreed that it wouldn't be nearly as challenging to throw out a quick list of five things that we don't like about ourselves. Ultimately we decided that doing that would be more negative than positive - mostly because it would cause us to dwell even more on such things. Maybe a day where we talk about things we like about ourselves would be a better idea. smile.gif

Yes, there is certainly some power in positive affirmation from others, but we cannot rely on it. I was reading something on the Stop Hating Your Body site the other day that really struck me as true. It said that self confidence comes from the inside-out not the outside-in. I liked that a lot. smile.gif
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DeeRayy
post Jul 7 2011, 08:20 PM
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btw, i've been doing a lot of boredom induced internet surfing since i'm stuck in bed recovering, and i found theee best youtube channel ever! here are a couple of videos that pertain to this thread. it's a a sex positive blog run by a sexologist and feminist activist, and they do their best to empower women.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGa58YXJNBg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ng9b0UsZXcc
(this one's mainly about penis size insecurity but they do a good job in pointing out how porn is a caricature of sex)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feRssvAqRwc
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DeeRayy
post Jul 7 2011, 07:30 PM
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QUOTE(skindeep1991 @ Jul 7 2011, 03:40 PM) *
I know i shouldn't talk about it but it really plays on my mind. I know its silly. Like when he says he finds an actress attractive i always point out her breast size and just make myself feel inferior, its gotten to the point where i avoid even mentioning if someone is attractive on tv to avoid him mentioning who he finds attractive. I get easily intimidated and sometimes i think it puts stress on my relationship.


hmmm well i've definitely been in your shoes. yes, insecurity definitely puts stress on a relationship. i shall quote the ever awesome strongirl with a line from one of her posts that really stuck with me for some reason- "don't let your insecurity be bigger than the attraction between you two."

you stated yourself that you find guys on tv attractive. and i'm guessing that a lot of those guys on tv that you find attractive have a more "ideal" body than your boyfriend (although you can correct me if i'm wrong). that doesn't make them better than you're ex, but of course you already knew that. similarly, you are in no way "inferior" to some actress on tv just because her breasts are bigger than yours. i think you just need to learn not to place so much value and emphasis on that ONE part of your body. you shouldn't let your boobs define you, believe me i've done it and it just made me miserable. i'm gonna get all therapist on you and suggest you spend time looking at the parts of your body that you do like right now, because they deserve just as much attention as the parts of your body that you don't like. i could spend all day expressing my feelings on this, but i'll leave it at that

another thing that irks me is that your sense of self seems to be too dependent on his approval. hun, he's already told you that he is satisfied with you, what's it gonna take from him to make you feel better? of course, if you're on this thread you already know that there is nothing our partner can do to fix our own insecurities. but anyway, i just think you're too worried about pleasing him and not worried enough about yourself. this reminds me of an article i once read on the beauty myth. i'll spare you the entire article because it's rather lengthy and focuses on the writer's obsession with her butt and thighs. but this excerpt is very interesting.

"Why are we so obsessed with our appearance in the first place?

Some, like Naomi Wolf, put the blame squarely on Madison Avenue, and it is true that Big Business profits from your self-hate. If they can convince you that you are a ugly, you just might be willing to buy their diet book, mouthwash, shoes, designer jeans, or plastic surgery...

But that's not the whole story. I think one underlying cause for the "beauty myth" is that we women still see ourselves mostly in relation to men. We are raised to believe that if we find Prince Charming, life will be wonderful. No more pain, no more loneliness. We will be complete. And the major way we win Mr.Wonderful's heart is by being beautiful. In the fairy tale, the heroine was always the "fairest in the land". For women, beauty is power.

So, we diet, Botox our wrinkles, and shrink ourselves into the uncomfortable shoe to have the "fairy tale" love. At least, I used to believe that way. So, I kept primping and waiting for Romeo. Well, he hasn't shown up yet. And as I grew older, I realized that even if I were to meet him, my life wouldn't be perfect. When I finally got this through my head, my obsession with finding Prince Charming faded somewhat, and my fixation on my appearance followed.

If we ever get to the point where the majority of women have an autonomous identity that is not dependent on some man's approval, (and this is going to take both equal pay and equal power) Botox wouldn't hold such allure. In fact, it might go belly up, and our "moments" could be moments of celebration not denigration. We would finally realize that love does not conquer all -- certainly not self-hatred. And we don't need to be completed.

We are complete."
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skindeep1991
post Jul 7 2011, 05:40 PM
Post #360


BUSTie
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Posts: 55
From: UK


QUOTE(DeeRayy @ Jul 7 2011, 07:51 PM) *
aww skindeep you shouldn't be trying to compare yourself to the other girls your boyfriend has been with. this may sound cliche, but they're his EX girlfriends for a reason. he said that he loves you the way you are. it's best not to bring those kinds of things up because believe me, you will end up driving yourself crazy for no good reason.

let's put it this way- have you been with other guys in the past? and do their bodies make you appreciate your boyfriend's body any less?

if i seem to be responding fast, it's because i'm in bed with strep throat. eeek, strep throat is from the devil, the devil i say!


I know i shouldn't talk about it but it really plays on my mind. I know its silly. Like when he says he finds an actress attractive i always point out her breast size and just make myself feel inferior, its gotten to the point where i avoid even mentioning if someone is attractive on tv to avoid him mentioning who he finds attractive. I get easily intimidated and sometimes i think it puts stress on my relationship.

Oh noes not strep throat i'll kill it for you. Hope you feel better soon biggrin.gif


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