[amilita]

Bklyn, your COF reminds me of this woman who was wearing a cute (if somewhat on the predictable side) a-line mini with wedge espidrilles...and she had the worst, worst varicose veins and broken capillaries. All down her legs, including her calves. Bad. I felt for her, cuz she had a cute shape and seemed sweet, but there was a lot going on on her legs.

[hellotampon]

At work today I had 2 customers with icky shirts.

The first one was worn by a middle-aged scumbag and involved the N-word and Harley Davidson. I was appalled.

The second one was on oversized white tee worn on a really skinny trashy girl. It said REBEL BITCH and had a picture of the confederate flag. Seriously. This is a regular customer and we live on C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-C-U-T... which is like, what? 500 miles above the Mason Dixon line?

[bklynhermit]

i saw a girl today who had cellulite on her calves. she was not a CoF at all (in fact she was wearing an adorable little chiffon black dress that looked elegant yet also not too heavy for june/july... i wish i had stuff like that...). but i felt really bad for her. i mean, cellulite on your calves? in terms of visually unfortunate genes, i really can't think of anything too much worse than that.

[maimy]

Hee - transfixed by two grapefruits wrapped in a handkerchief. I'm familiar with this! Ugh.

[funnybird]

Re: White linen and underwear.
I was in the pub with some friends recently when in walked a girl wearing some very flimsy looking white linen trousers. She walked past us and leant against the bar, and we couldn't help but notice that she was either wearing a thong or going commando. The problem was that she had rather a problem with cellulite (as many of us do), and the trousers did nothing to conceal this. Infact, they made her arse look exactly like two grapefruits wrapped in a handkerchief.
We had to move table eventually because one of my friends could not stop staring at the poor girls rear; she was so transfixed with the spectacle that she couldn't concentrate on our conversation.
So yes, beige undies sound like a sensible plan.

[dykelove]

Oh! I saw a crime today in the thrift store...

(Although I had to give it to her for the moxie)

It was an oversized men's white tee screenprinted with Betty Boop in a Mae West outfit (Emerald green strapless dress, hat with HUGE green feather) and the CHICAGO F-ING SKYLINE in the background. Matched with Green (a different green-olive camo) capri pants and white and navy keds.

Plus, a permed mullet.

I think I'm in LOVE. Or else my retinas burned out (and that feeling feels so much like love I can't tell the difference!)

[kittenbonanza]

When I used to work in the mall here there was this guy who came in every Saturday. Sometimes I'd come in for my shift and see him walking around and clock out 8 hours later and still see him walking around. He was about 45, really tall--I'd say almost 7 feet--with dyed, heavily gelled hair. Biggest CoF ever. Always wearing those sparkly, button-up shirts that said crap about the millenium or something and either metallic or loudly patterned pants. We called him Disco Stu. I miss nothing more about working at the mall.

[dusty]

Oh! My cousin's son got a pair of wide-leg ones with all sorts of hardware and ties for Xmas a coupla years ago when he was about 15. I thought they looked great on him, so did he, my cousin thought they were totally goofy.

[tatina]

The pants? My husband wears them, I wear them. Me with a tiny T, he with his Yamamoto shirt. Totally love them because they create a riot and raised conservative eyebrows whereever we go... And they are supercomfy... and a fun look when you are in a provocative mood. Slightly out of fashion by now but who cares...

[quietmadness]

Saw this *young* guy last night. He had on some kind of like "paratrooper" type pants. They had long "ties" hanging out of the material next to the ass pockets. They hung down wildly flapping around all the cargo pockets while he walked.
Black combat boots.

Anybody seen those type pants? What are they? WHY?!?

[epinephrine]

saw some good ones today:

thin, middle-aged man wearing sneakers, tennis socks, short shorts, and a tank top with the name of some boot camp on it.

super-skinny, snotty-looking girl on the bus in a particularly nasty pair of trendy white parachute pants with straps and cargo pockets and drawstrings all over them. one leg was pulled up ghetto-style to reveal the white fishnets and white skate shoes underneath. white long-sleeved mini-shirt over tight black shirt. some kind of irritating trendy hat. eeeurgh.

[dusty]

Amen, WB. I have seen too many tight tight white linen pants this summer already. When I can see your thong through your pants, I can see your ass for sure, and I just don't want to know you that well.

[misspissed]

love it, love it, LOVE the rules walkingB!

i'm not a fan of white (i am a slob and spill stuff on myself all the time) but i do own a white linen skirt. what convinced me to buy it was the fact that it is white linen skirt with lining.
i still wear my nude panties under it, but the lining helps a bunch, too.

went to some museums today - only 2 noticeable CoF (aside from the boring, typical tourist wear of big ol' t-shirts, khaki shorts/pants, and Tevas)

*girl, early 20s. normal hair/makeup. wearing a black long sleeve Tshirt, a red mini-skirt, and these obnoxious thigh-high black leg-warmers. that covered her red flats. leg warmers looked silly since it was 90 degrees today.

*revenge of the whites--seen only from behind: woman wearing white knickers, a white tank top, gold shoes, gold bag, and a gold fucking cowboy hat.
yee-haw!

[mornington]

*snort* walkingb... you are my new heroine.

what is it with the man-CoFs? This guy was wearing white jeans, white shoes, a pink vest and a white shirt over the top, which was all embroidered with pink flowers. He was shiny-bright!

tan knickers under white, definitely. I loves my beige granny knickers

[mandolyn]

holy shit. and here i thought i was boring with all my BEIGE lingerie.

um, not that i'd be caught dead in any kind of white pants/shorts/etc unless i was 20 lbs thinner.

seriously, tho. flexies rock. high-waisted, granny-fugly, but oh so comfy & pleasantly controlling. and no pantylines. eva.

*writing down BCMS for future reference, lmao*

btw, i work at a golf club. you'd think these rich bastids would shy away from the neon mint green and bright orange, but noooooo .... crimes against humanity horrid enough to make the baby jesus weep, i tell ya.

[walkingbitch]

I own white khaki pants... (shut up y'all) and I wear nude thong underwear with them for two reasons...
1. My ass is actually 6 little asses laid one on top of another due to the rapid weight loss, and any regualar underwear look like I'm cutting them in half. Three asschecks in, three hanging outta the bottom.
2. Nude is the color to wear under anything white, so I learned from my wise mom who was a nurse and wore white blouses and pants and shoes and stockings, lol for 40+ years roughly. White bras and pantaloons all show under white like you are wearing red or black. Nude, even an off shade of nude, looks much better. Think beige always for under whites.

I also buy all my pants that are questionably thin in a size up from a form fitting pair in a heavier fabric, because I don't thunk the person walking behind me, or standing behind me when I am reaching for the bottom shelf in the drugstore needs to be privy to the cellulite I got going on back there, some so bad you could hide a roll of quarters. lol.

Here's another hint....
*If you look like you are trying to squish 20 lbs of sausage into a 5 lbs casing? your clothes are too tight.

*You don't have muffin tops, rather baker's dozen circulating above the waistband of your pants? ixnay the cropped belly baring shirt.

*you have to lay on the bed to button and zip your pants? Take em off, you'll be miserable in about 20 minutes anyway... and you'll have to pee all day long

*One last thing for those that go panty-commando:
If you are wearing yoga pants, or stretch pants, or gauchos, or any thin material that is stretchy and you pull em on but they still kinda sit on your hips? Leave them in the store if you are going to keep pulling em up to your waist, or look for a pair that sit on your waist. I'm sure the malady of camel toe has been discussed frequently, but I always want to run up to these women and say, "I can hear your vagina gasping for air. See how are lips are parted and you can clearly see everything? Your noni is yearning to break free and breathe. Wear looser pants... you are suffocating her."

bitch bitch bitch lol

[yuefie]

While cruising down Santa Monica Blvd in West Hollywood, I saw three men on the same corner wearing pink. While this is not a COF in itself, one of them was wearing very bright, peachy-pink with green paisley print pants AND a matching blouse.

That was certainly a COF and it burned my eyes.

[dayglowpink]

I have heard that the best underwear for white pants is nude colored (matching whatever the wearers skin tone is). White underwear shows up just as much as black or a color. I would imagine that thongs would be out, because I think they would be more obvious, too. I think some nice microfiber or mesh nude panties would be ideal. I have always wanted to wear a white pants suit, but I just know I would be completely paranoid about getting something on it or having a black smudge on my ass or something. One of the perks of wearing mostly black clothes is not having to worry about that!

[falljackets]

bklyn, i think the trick is to buy white pants a size too large, and in material substantial enough that it doesn't matter what underthings you wear. says the girl wearing white capri pants with tiny little pinstripes in a solid heavy cotton.

[bklynhermit]

hahahahahahaha! brilliant! BCMS!

what underwear is one supposed to wear with white pants? i don't own any, but i figure it's good information to have.