[grenadine]

the mr. tells me the majority of male infants are no longer circumcised; i found a stat that it went down from 80% in the 70s to 65% in the late 80s, but nothing more current, but it's certainly believable given the trend. i'd love to see post-2000 data as my ped and my personal experience tells me circumcision is way down. my jewish cousin didn't circumcise any of her three boys and has exhaustively researched that the whole "covenant" thing is misconstrued and not necessary to being a good jew, etc.

i think people should actually MAKE decisions rather than reflecting the mindless assumptions of their parents/cultural norms. we used to think that BLOODLETTING cured fever, for maude's sake. let's think a little, people! (end rant)

moxie, do parents ever ask questions like that out of general interest or curiosity? in my experience the ones who ask are asking to be passive-aggressive/convince you otherwise and it's the ones who don't ask, but let you tell if you want, who actually have general interest.

i had a thought this morning about whether to have another. i do believe that, all other things being equal, it's better for a kid to have a sibling (particularly a biracial kid - btw, i can't recommend the book "does anybody else look like me" enough for mixed-race families). but it also occurred to me that it might be better for ME not to have a sibling for my kid, and i should remember to consider that as an option (we're very duty-and-family around here, so sometimes i forget).

[moxiegirl]

annoush- what an asshat move for your pop to make. It'd be one thing if he asked out of general interset or curiosity- ok, he asks, you answer, conversation done. But to harp on you...when that's the LAST thing you need. Feh.

We faced similar questions about moxette's ear piercing...i figured it was easier on her and us to do it now than when she was older and untrustworthy about hygiene. But, it was my descision as her mother, and if we ever have a son, i'd be totally ok with whatever moxieman felt about circumcision. Its a cosemetic proceedure, as far as I'm concerned. One that should be done ASAP if its gonna happen at all. Are most boys now not circumcised, really? Hmmm...

[grenadine]

anoushh, why don't you tell your father that the AMA doesn't recommend it and that the majority of boys his age are not circumcised, so actually getting his foreskin snipped would get him made fun of, etc., and that he should GET IN STEP WITH THE TIMES? that should at least give him pause.
or, if pops is the patriarchal type, you could always have the mister inform him that he prefers the boy look like his father, i.e. uncut, and then watch him blush...

(me, i prefer to say "i don't support male OR female circumcision" and leave it at that.)

moxie, i love your new photo. and: thanks. i am sort of done talking about it, because there's nothing i can do except accept that the world is not. acting. the way. it should. and i am having a hard. time. loving it. but i'm trying.

[anoushh]

The boy had a better night last night. Probably a coincidence, but he seemed happier. For various reasons I didn't get any more sleep, but I'm still glad for him.

However, I"m livid that my father "asked"--why we didn't have notbob circumcised. I say it that way b/c he clearly had an agenda, and it was stupid and made me really angry. And he picked a time when the mister was out, and could have backed me up. I was so shocked, and trying so hard not to get into an argument, but I was livid. I said b/c there was no medical reason for it and there's nothing wrong with him the way he is. He trots out this crap about being laughed at, etc, and tries to compare it to piercings and tattoos not being necessary (the latter is, I think, a swipe at my tattoo, which my mother saw when labor suddenly hit me hard when I was in the tub and I needed help getting out. It's not been spoken of but she may have siad something to him. Who knows.)

I said as an adult you get the make the choice. I also wanted to say it's not mutilation on the same scale, but didn't. He just kept at it and I'm still angry.

THe mister, being English, thinks the whole US obsession with circumcision is insane, and even if I did want to do it would not allow it. He's so mild mannered, but as he said "I'd move heaven and earth to make sure it didn't happen."

I didn't think of saying this--that he wouldn't approve either--to my father, but I did say that he's managed just fine being intact. Probably more than my dad wanted to know about him. Tough, though.

In postivie news, since the mister doesn't work tomorrow he's doing night duty so I get to sleep tonight. He doesn't usually b/c he's a truck driver and its not save for him to be out driving all day sleep deprived. He works insane hours as it is, which means he's hardly around to help out. My mom does, but I need him around more, which I've told him, and last week was a little better. "Only" worked 58 hours instead of last weeks' 70. Still too much.

[moxiegirl]

gren- hope everything is OK...you give us such great support...if you need it, let us know!

This age, 8 mos, is hard for us b/c moxette was SO easy in the beginning. I find myself wondering if I cuddled her too little then, b/c she's having a hard time sleeping with the seperation anxiety, but gets excited in our bed and won't settle down.

It comes and goes. That's what we keep telling ourselves.

[grenadine]

anoushh, the worst time for crying was six weeks for us. it got immeasurably better by 3 months. i really wish i had just suffered through it rather than desperately trying to "fix" it.

sorry i haven't been around much, everyone. sad week. pepper, thanks again for the book rec, which was very helpful before i actually became very upset about things, and now i'm having trouble actually applying it.

love to all the mamas and babies.

[pepper]

anoushh, little cried for one year solid and then for nearly the whole next year and it wasn't colic or any other thing "wrong', just a pissy little character. until he learned to walk and say stuff he was one frustrated baby. it helped to wear him in a carrier all the time, then i had hands free at least. not like he didn't cry still but it seemed easier at least.
man, am i ever hoping for a easier baby this time 'round, i have no idea how i didn't go crazy.

[anoushh]

Just read Tart's post about tarlet's arrival. Notbob has never slept like that!! I wish, I wish.

Anyway, we tried the hypoallergenic formula--nutramagen, or whatever--and he HATED it. It smelled funny, too. But ped now thinks it was reflux, like I do. (Notbob is 11 lbs now!) So we have Rx for zantac and fingers firmly crossed.

Grandma, who came with me to the doctor's office, had a collision with notbob's head when he turned his head just as she reached for him and her fingernail scratched him. She was on the verge of tears a lot longer than he was, esp when it started to bleed a little. Grandma now has a cold, which worries me as to him catching it. He's only 6 weeks old tomorrow.

He also can hardly stand to be put down. If we hold him constantly, he's happy--or happier, I should say. Even when he seems to be feeling ok he fusses--and then usually cries--if you put him down. I keep telling myself that if I hold him as much as he needs now, he'll learn that he got the comfort available and it will be better. But I wish it would start getting better soon.

On the plus side I got another applicaiton of silver nitrate to the most recent sore spot and hope it will finally heal up. We shall see. And notbob should be smiling soon, shouldn't he? I hope so. And I hope he feels better soon for his sake and for ours. Not nice to always feel yucky.

[moxiegirl]

well, these days she's sort of crabbypants...not napping well at.all. at daycare, but i miss her none the less.

sigh...

[tart]

Good luck, Anoushh - keep us posted!

Same boat here, Mox - Tartlet's always so sweet & cuddly after a long day of playing, and we have barely an hour between getting home & starting the bedtime routine, so my ass is out the door at 4:30 sharp. In the very early days, I told Tartman it was kind of like going to meet my crush - I'd walk up the street towards his daycare & get all aflutter, wondering how his day was and if he'd be happy to see me...

[moxiegirl]

annoush- let us know what the ped has to say. we're all with you, sista!

Gah- its 4 and i can't leave to get my baby for another hour. sigh...its amazing how at 3AM i can't wait to send her to school, but at 4PM, i'm dying if I'm not in the car to pick her tired butt up. Motherhood.

[anoushh]

Yep. All true, Tart.

Off to the ped now, so wish us luck. And again, thanks for the encouragment. It really helps and I really need it now.

[tart]

Easy there, FJ - the FJette will be here soon enough, and then you, too, can look back on the halcyon days of pregnancy, when you could eat whatever you wanted ("for the baby"), sleep til noon on weekends, and have some shred of spontenaeity in your life...

[moxiegirl]

FJ- you come out to play, young lady! Ok, so you're not any more young than me...but still.

[falljackets]

*squeeeeeeeee*

oh, tart, he's just such a precious boy! he and moxette will make such the dashing pair!

oh man, will these months just pass so i can really join in on this discussion? i'm trying to soak up all the information i can, but i have a feeling all will be lost when we bring the fjette home.

holy shit! i'm going to bring an fjette home!

*relurks*

[tart]

Funny Part I: my eldest cousin had the exact same hair when he was wee - that rocker/footie goalie look! I'm seriously considering trying to cut it myself this weekend...

Funny Part II: not even a week of pulling up, and already he's trying to do it one-handed. Show-off...

[moxiegirl]

ROCK! I LLLLOOOOOVVVEEEE his floppy hair! They do get SO serious about standing, eh?

[tart]

Here! (The old album is still up, but was getting too big to scroll through easily...)

[moxiegirl]

and where are new pics of my SIL? Hmmmmm????

[tart]

(((Anoushh))) What Moxie said... if it's any consolation, Tartlet did the same wake & cry pattern for the first 4-5 months. He still does it on occasion. Our ped & my research/observations contribute it to his not transitioning well between sleep & wakefulness - nothing's wrong, per se, it's just a developmental step that took a while for him to conquer. I think of it this way, too - as he went to sleep, he was nursing/cuddled up to a nice toasty mum, and when he wakes up, there's no booby, and he's likely "alone" in his crib/carseat/stroller - that's got to be a tough thing to get a teeny infant's brain around... We did treat for reflux fairly early (6 weeks?), and that helped immensely. We never had the projectile vomiting, but everything else was textbook (rank breath, sour burps followed by screams, pulling away & arching while trying to nurse, hating lying down on his back/tight pants/being scrunched up in the carseat).

In terms of knowing what your baby needs, the first weeks were a trail by error for us - we had a mental checklist that we went over every time he cried (clean diaper? full tummy? warm enough? no pinching straps/buckles/whatever? lonely? bored? etc.). We'd just go down the list until we hit upon what worked... eventually everyone got the rhythm down, and it's a lot easier for me now to assess the situation & figure out what Tartlet needs to make him happy. Not that it's foolproof - sometimes there's no magic bullet, and we just walk around the house & look at the pictures & have a good fuss.

I can't recommend enough a good sling & a nice tight swaddle in the early weeks... I think a lot of the tiny ones' fussing is just adjusting to life in a big, cold, bright world, and being bundled up nice & cozy next to mum seems to make things a bit easier to bear. The sling ensures that you have at least one hand free to eat & Bust...

ETA: New Moxette pics! What a honey! I just want to put her & Tartlet in a pile on the floor & snorgle them like a pair of puppies...