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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
karategrrl
post Jan 6 2009, 10:04 AM
Post #2681


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 714


QUOTE(starship @ Jan 5 2009, 08:50 PM) *
i was kind of erm testing the waters with this guy today by mentioning how I'd thought about getting a boob job in the past- "why? small ones are the hottest" eee. chichis a-go-go.



MARRY THAT MAN IMMEDIATELY!! laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

Okay, a few random replies/thoughts:

treehugger: I salute you for working in a male-dominated trade. I know I'd get so infuriated on a daily (or minute-ly) basis with all that male posturing bullshit I wouldn't last a week. I bow to you, O Amazing Woman. (Side story: I know someone who is a female electrician. I swear, she LOOVES her job not so much for the work itself, but for the fact that she looooves being the only woman, and all the attention that she gets from it. When I asked about her work, I expected her to talk about...er...electrical work! But no, I got a 30-minute monologue about how great it is to have men staring at her all day. Complete attention ho.)

But I digress...I've had those "so glad I don't have big knockers" thoughts in similar situations: working on my house, doing martial arts, etc.

mynameislala, I really feel your pain. Men really DO NOT understand what it's like to be an intelligent, small-breasted woman and see women portrayed in the media that way. It is an argument I've had my the hubby many, many times and I get similar reactions. "It's no big deal," he insists. YET.....we were watching the Sex And The City movie and there's that scene with the hot naked guy taking a shower outside, with all the close-ups, and my hubby was like, "Oh, puhleeese....!!!" Too funny. I LOVE that they showed a man like that--and not even for the eye candy, though he had a nice body--just for some fucking EQUALITY, finally!!!! Oooh, I could go on and on with this topic for hours, but I won't. mad.gif It's not fair, it IS a big deal, and they can't understand unless they're walked a mile in our moccasins and been personally, repeatedly treated like pieces of meat. End of fucking story.


For everyone, just a thought...

Ya know, men or whoever will criticize us for making such a "big deal" out of a comparitively small (no pun intended) area of our body, YET....aren't men famous for making a huge fucking deal (again, no pun intended) about their dick size???!! I mean, really, it's a major part of what they think/talk/obsess about: "Does she think it's too small?" "Is it too small?" "Is his bigger?" "Will a man with a bigger cock steal her away?" "Can I last long enough?" "Will I be able to get it up?" etc. etc. ad nauseum..... So any man has no right whatsoever to criticize our preoccupation with breast size. Really, think about it.
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treehugger
post Jan 6 2009, 06:01 AM
Post #2682


cryostat bitch
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Posts: 1,717


Y'know,

I think I've come to terms with my boobs, for the most part. The only time I really get infuriated is when I try to go bra shopping.

Just in case some of you don't know what I do for a living, I work in a male-dominated, physical trade. I repair refrigeration systems, of all kinds. Yesterday I was working with a guy on a really large centrifugal chiller and we had to change some belts on the motor. I was bent in a really awkward angle trying to reach into this cavity and stretch the belts over the pulley, and...

my. boobs. got. in. the way.

I never, ever in my life thought I'd have that problem. Heh. Good thing they AREN'T "average" sized...I'd never be able to do my job!


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mynameislala
post Jan 5 2009, 11:39 PM
Post #2683


Newbie
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Posts: 9


Oh God... so much to talk about!

I hope PLR doesn't come back. I also thought he was "apologizing" like:
"Yeah, yeah you girls, you will NEVER understand because I'm a man, oh, girls, can't you read?".

Well, can't YOU read! Sure there are posts about men, yes, mostly about men putting down small breasts, but it's NOT ABOUT MEN. What is so hard to understand that breasts aren't really sexual, and that they are part of women's anatomy. I think he should read a post that lightchested left about how shw struggles with her small breasts daily. It's not funny. There are cancer worries, bra worries... not just "oh-wonder-if-he'll-ignore-my-small-breasts-if-i-have-a-tight-vagina" worries! Breasts are so complicated and need such care, and are so tied to women's view of themselves, to their emotional health. why do you think women who've had mastectomies suffer so much? Because it's a part of their femininity that's GONE... Christ...

Anyway, moving on...

Starship - that's great! It must've felt great to hear that.

Vendetta, Nelly (all of us really) - I have also suffered breast related irrationality. In my mind they are breasts, parts of my anatomy and femininity, but I've had crazy thoughts about them. For example today, i was watching TV with my boyfriend. This comedy show. It started as a very, very funny stand up show. Then they moved on to stand up and sketches. Now it's the same, but as we're in summer right now, the hired a woman, ONLY to be shown as eye candy. She never has lines, and she's just there wearing almost non existant clothes, with huge fake implants. I got so pissed off. Of course there were breasts close ups. And he sensed this. At first he was supportive and told me "Oh, but I love you, you're so gorgeous, why do you get upset? It's meaningless". But to me that felt like lies. So I told him "Oh, but you don't get it do you? You're a man, of course it doesn't bother you like me, because you enjoy it and also because men are never shown like pieces of meat!". He got upset and...

1) Accused me of being vain, insecure and shallow. He said that I'm a fool for spending so much energy worrying about other girls who're paid to look like that. That I'm foolish and childish for thinking that my physique is so important.

2) Judged me on my past. In the past (before I met him) I was, um, promiscuous? He seems to think so, but I don't. I did make out with strangers and had a friend with benefits (no sex, though, I was young). But who doesn't? Well he hasn't. So he thinks I have double standars because in the past I made out, no strings attached, with older guys I had just met, yet I complain that women are shown like pieces of mean in the media. Well, i'm sorry but it's not the same, and I don't think I have double standars. For one, those guys chased me, asked me for my number and I refused/gave them fake numbers. If anything, I used them, and no, I'm not proud, but it's done already. But on TV, women are shown like lifeless T n' A dolls, only for male pleasure, and guys are ugly, but they are the "cool ones".

So yeah... I still feel awful sometimes watching TV even though I know I shouldn't because it's meaningless and I can't do anything other than complain about it, and that won't change anything.

Mindy - I can understand why you feel like that. But please, try not to. If this relationship isn't making you happy, then it should end. Is it ending because of your breasts? If it is, then maybe he's not worth it. If it isn't, and there are deeper issues, then do what's best for you. But let me tell you something, while it's going to be hard to be on your own, you will have a chance to get to know yourself better. Plus, I'm sure there will be a guy who will totally be into you, because he'll think you're hot, he'll think your boobs are hot. There are such guys, hard to find, but great guys are hard to find. Have fun, spend quality time with your girl friends. Being single can be a lot of fun. It's cliché, but when you least expect it, he'll come. I've met a lot of small breasted girls with lots of guys chasing after them, and some bigger girls with very tough luck in love.

Anyway, chin up! We're all beautiful.
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Vendetta
post Jan 5 2009, 05:19 PM
Post #2684


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 182


Sure, and that's the reason I came here in the first place. Because before someone mentioned that breasts were that important, I simply had never bothered about that. But two years after that, shit, I still have my insecurities but I'm a rational person and I know how to separate insecurities from reality. I wore myself in such a positive way that no man (before "him") has ever said anything about it and I believe my lack of boobs was never a problem to any of them. And when I suffered from the guy loving big boobs I avoided thinking every man feels the same. I just tell myself "let's be rational". Men are pigs but not THAT much. I don't know, maybe I'm just thinking this way to feel better about myself?

I'm saying this and I still want to have boobs. I simply believe me wanting to have boobs has nothing to do with men, those basic creatures.
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neurotic.nelly
post Jan 5 2009, 04:09 PM
Post #2685


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 460
From: the galatic center


QUOTE(starship @ Jan 5 2009, 12:50 PM) *
yeah, it's wrong vendetta but if you look back most of us here have been guilty of breast-related irrationality at some point. yourself included?


I know, it's like the pot calling the kettle black.


--------------------
Earth: A Satanically ran planet where 98% of it's inhabitants are unquestioning, conformist idiots who are totally controlled and manipulated by the Satanic governments of the world and have been made complacent by said governments, through rigorous brainwashing.
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starship
post Jan 5 2009, 03:50 PM
Post #2686


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 366


I'm sure he'll pop up again in a few days to tell us how wrong we all are. le sigh

i was kind of erm testing the waters with this guy today by mentioning how I'd thought about getting a boob job in the past- "why? small ones are the hottest" eee. chichis a-go-go.
i find it kind of sad that i still feel the need to ease my boobs in to a sexual scenario rather than just chucking them right in there

many things cross my mind when deciding to end a relationship, but my boobs arent one of them mindy. i like having at least a few months break between bfs anyway. especially if it's been a long/difficult relationship. gives me time to find myself again and enjoy all the perks of being single. but if you do want a new man then dont let small breasts hold you back. any difficulties are more likely to be because of your attitude towards them and lack of confidence rather than the boobs themselves. and like the other ladies have said- a decent guy who isn't hung up on cup-size if worth waiting for if you ask me;)

yeah, it's wrong vendetta but if you look back most of us here have been guilty of breast-related irrationality at some point. yourself included?
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auralpoison
post Jan 5 2009, 02:35 PM
Post #2687


Big Fat Bitch
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Posts: 4,932
From: Citizen of the world


I have such a girl crush on Vendetta.

Thanks. For about a half a second, I was worried that my ire was misplaced. I mean, that was the WORST apology ever. It was basically, "I'm sorry I talked to you like a real person, y'know, one with a penis." Candy-ass fuckstick. Looks like he's gone finally.


--------------------
"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
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karategrrl
post Jan 5 2009, 01:55 PM
Post #2688


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 714


QUOTE(strongirl @ Jan 5 2009, 02:38 PM) *
To this day, when I hear a baby cry that particular "feed me!" cry - in stores or restaurants or wherever - it makes my breasts ache like I need to nurse! My boyfriend finds this very funny and thinks it's sweet.


I had to laugh. I saw my family over the holidays. My sis-in-law is breastfeeding my nephew and said her breasts actually tingle when he cries for them!!! So anyway, she and I went out shopping (without him) and at one point she said, "Wow, my boobs feel funny!" and I said, "Maybe's John's crying for them!" Hahaha, psychic boobies.

Funny how our male poster returned to post 2 more times after saying he was outta here. No, it's obvious he did not READ any of our posts to get a feel for the board before totally putting his foot (or both?!) into his mouth.

Leave, already, PL Ray. I for one will ignore you if you come back. <crickets chirping in the background>
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ailurophile
post Jan 5 2009, 01:35 PM
Post #2689


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Posts: 57


....And yes Mindy82, I have had a hard time breaking off relationships due my small size. I stayed with the same idiot for 9 years and one of the reasons was b/c of how he viewed my breasts. He grew up with small breasted sisters and didn't even flinch at the sight of tits unless they were mine. God knows what he did while with his friends or while I wasn't around but in my presence, he looked at no others, he loved mine and got mad at me when I dissed them. My new guy now is sooo different. He is a much better man in so many ways (ie: character, honor, hard worker, etc.) except he likes big tits. He said he loves mine and pays alot of attention to them but his head turns at any significant bumps he may see popping through clothing whether on TV or at the mall --and he does not check out chicks like Gwen Stefani ...or chicks like me. Please don't think you will not a get a new man just b/c your boobs are small. And like I said-- If you think you would find someone sooner if you had bigger boobs, why would you even want that guy??? And what I meant by "good for you" is that at least you know a man likes you for you and not b/c you have big boobs.


--------------------
I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It's not. Mine had me trained in two days. ~Bill Dana

Sat Nam...
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Vendetta
post Jan 5 2009, 12:56 PM
Post #2690


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 182


Don't you think it's wrong to believe it's hard to find a boyfriend due to small breasts? Do you chose your men based on some physical preference? I don't know, maybe it can be the truth after all but it's sad.
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ailurophile
post Jan 5 2009, 11:59 AM
Post #2691


BUSTie
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Posts: 57


Mindy82: Sweetie...so you are in the right place. If it takes you sooo long to find a new bf because your breasts are too small, then good for you. You are going to be with someone who likes you for who you are, not because you may have large breasts. If you think you would find someone sooner if you had bigger boobs, why would you even want that guy???

Auralpoison...and Ray: Ray did not get a thank you for the apology from me b/c he is still totally missing the point. It's not about sex and kegels and p*ssy or his swearing or vulgarity. It's about the problems that come with small boobs like buying bras that fit, clothes that look good, feeling feminine, etc. Was he really not paying attention to anything anyone said??? Maybe he meant well at the beginning but he still doesn't get it after all the explanations and yet he won't go away.


--------------------
I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It's not. Mine had me trained in two days. ~Bill Dana

Sat Nam...
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lightchested
post Jan 5 2009, 10:48 AM
Post #2692


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Posts: 42
From: Detroit, Michigan


auralpoison,

You are dead on. And it does suck that he erased his first couple of messages so that anyone who didn't read them won't necessarily know what you and I are on about.

My head kind of spun around on my neck when I read something he wrote in his most recent post, in defense of his viewing/ not viewing women as sex objects, that he'd "previously mentioned" how he values the time couples spend together, like in a grocery store.

No, that was not what he wrote the first two times he referenced a grocery store! He had basically written that we should be assuaged by the fact that if we look around a grocery store, we will see physically deficient women (presumably like us, though maybe with different "deformities" than ours) who nonetheless have found some sucker who nonetheless spends times with and appears to love these women so sadly lacking in aesthetic prowess. I had wondered if we were also supposed to be impressed that a guy would be willing to be seen in public with a less-than-Playboyesque partner, or if we were just supposed to take solace in the fact some that men have displayed willingness to treat such a Quasimodo as he would any decent looking woman with whom he might (otherwise) have had a relationship.

No, you are not overreacting...his apology was not one. I too was waiting for a "thanks for the enlightenment" message, and was disappointed at the lack of one. But even without that, I'd like to think we may have altered, if only a little bit, his view that women measure their breast satisfaction level on their perceived ability to pleasure men. But that would refute any belief he might have about women as sex objects, so maybe I'm just being optimistic, as I have a tendency to be.


--------------------
May visible pyramids one day lurk beneath my sweaters.
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strongirl
post Jan 5 2009, 09:42 AM
Post #2693


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 295


Karategrrl - "I'm going to go shave my p---y and do my Kegels now. Then I will eat chocolate and masturbate while fantasizing about Smoove-B."

I laughed my ass off over that! LOL biggrin.gif




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strongirl
post Jan 5 2009, 09:38 AM
Post #2694


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 295


Wow, so much going on in here it's impossible to comment on all of it. But since I sort of started the breastfeeding thing...

To address Lightchested's questions, yes, all the reasons Bottleblack listed were why I opted to breastfeed. To be honest, I was reluctant because my identity was more "hottie" than "mommie" and I didn't want that to change too much, so it started as a bit of a sacrifice I made for the health of my son. But once we got going, I loved it for the joy of the experience itself. Breastfeeding a baby provides much of the pleasant physical sensations of having one's breasts stimulated by a lover but with a completely different set of emotions. Looking down at my baby nursing evoked feelings of tenderness, protectiveness, and serenity, while looking down at a man at my breast evokes feelings of excitement, arousal, and desire. Some of the happiest moments of my life were breastfeeding while sitting in a big comfy chair, my dog snoring at my feet and my cat purring on the arm of the chair and my baby making contented little nursing sounds. I felt so powerful and complete.

On the laziness thing, I got WAY more sleep and rest than other new moms I knew who used formula. We did family bed, so all I had to do for night feedings was roll over - sometimes I didn't even really wake up. And I loved not having to pack anything extra for outings or trips (boobs travel much easier than bottles/formula). Definitely easier to breastfeed.

To this day, when I hear a baby cry that particular "feed me!" cry - in stores or restaurants or wherever - it makes my breasts ache like I need to nurse! My boyfriend finds this very funny and thinks it's sweet.

Another funny story - the first time I was away from my son overnight was partly for a sexual tryst with said bf. I thought we had weaned enough that I would not get engorged, but sure enough, they got too full and started leaking! I was so embarrassed...but bf was totally turned on by it and more than happy to give me some relief! We still fantasize about that once in a while and it was over 10 years ago.
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Vendetta
post Jan 5 2009, 09:28 AM
Post #2695


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Are you serious?
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mindy82
post Jan 5 2009, 08:55 AM
Post #2696


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I had chosen this forum because my small breasts are the likely reason that it takes months to find a new boyfriend after a breakup.
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auralpoison
post Jan 5 2009, 01:36 AM
Post #2697


Big Fat Bitch
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Mindy, I see that you are new here. There is a forum called the Mating Game that is better suited to answering your question here Moving On. Do stop by the newbies thread & introduce yourself, chica.

And if I may say so, time alone is good. You don't always need to have a partner to feel good about you.


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"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
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mindy82
post Jan 5 2009, 01:21 AM
Post #2698


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Does anyone else here have problems breaking off a relationship?

I don't see a real future with my current boyfriend, but after a breakup it usually takes months before I find someone new.
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auralpoison
post Jan 4 2009, 11:26 PM
Post #2699


Big Fat Bitch
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Lightchested, thanx.

On with beating the dead horse.

You deleted all your posts except for the one that disparages me. Weenie. Chickenshit. Weakass. Lily-livered COWARD. AND you didn't even spell my name right. Der.

Um, I just have to ask. Was I being evil on the PLR? He *briefly* mentioned personality being important (Albeit in a heinous way with ugly chicks & normal guys at the market.) in his first post, the rest was about pussy & pleasing men. His other posts were equally obnoxious in that pious MWET way, in that *we* didn't understand what he was trying to say. I think we did. He was talking out his ass & we called him on it. Yeah, yeah, he started eventually expressing that communication/personality was important but only after he got the business. But when he apologized, it felt condescending. It wasn't, 'Hey you gave me new perspective' it was, 'I was just in a men's forum & they talk raw & one should talk to the ladies different'. I have no delicate sensibilities unless you treat me like I'm gonna break because I have a vajajay. I just found him overall to be a MWET. So was I wrong? Was I reading too much into it?

ETA, I noticed nobody said thanks for the apology. I figger it's because it sounded the same to me as to others.


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"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
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lightchested
post Jan 4 2009, 10:24 PM
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From: Detroit, Michigan


PL Ray,

If you don't think of women as sex objects, why did you assume that what bothers women about having small breasts is men's reaction to small breasts and our ability to give men sexual pleasure??? Why did you tell us that we can make up for our two perky "shortcomings" if only we increase the grip of our inner girly muscles?

To assume that our main (or sole) source of angst is our ability to please men is very odd, given that our breasts are on our bodies 24/7, and sex comprises only a small fraction of our time spent on this planet. And some women don't have sex with men anyway. (Oh, to be one of them! rolleyes.gif )




--------------------
May visible pyramids one day lurk beneath my sweaters.
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