[ailurophile]

Sorry! I think you can click here or copy and paste the link. (I'm not used to this yet.) top with my breast type

[ailurophile]

So I took Crinoline's advice. I went out last night and bought some "sexy" tops. I do not plan on wearing them in public. I'm not there yet. Still wearing padded bras. But I can wear them at home, braless, with my bf. I have a couple tops that I've already worn. He's never said anything, but I've noticed him look down at "them". I wonder if he's thinking ..."Why is she wearing that? She has no boobs!"

I have to say, though, those tops looks good on those models. They have small breasts but they have shape to them. Mine don't look like that. I look like I just passed puberty. I once read a guy's opinion online. He said something like "Most guys don't care about size. It's the embarrassment on her face that shows." So I thought if I wear these tops, I'll feel more confident and maybe my bf will think that is sexy????

I saw this top on the website that Crinoline provided. I look more like this (but with a belly in not as good of shape):
http://www.freepeople.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/products.detail/productID/97844358-8e3c-4e99-a5ef-94c1864c8b93/categoryID/56ca143b-3a89-4760-b0d5-a5ebaabb230e
...and the tops I bought are the same or similar style. What d'ya think??

[girltrouble]

We should regularly post pics of clothes we buy that make us look fantastic.

i second that idea!

[anarch]

yeah, I have so much fun dressing up and/or dressing sexy. It's fun to feel sexy, just for me. I never understood why so many men have trouble grasping the idea that a woman who's dressed sexy isn't doing it for them personally. Is it so weird, wanting to dress sexy just for ourselves, because it makes us feel good?

Yes, crinoline, thank you for posting those tops! It's fun to find clothes in colours and cuts that flatter me, put them on, and go out knowing I look my best. I wish I'd started wearing the really sexy stuff earlier (like, my twenties) but I didn't have enough confidence then. I bought a few Victoria's Secret tops last year that I freakin' love...one is cut much lower than I usually wear, and another is low-cut and the material sort of twists between the boobs in a way that subtly suggests a towel (wrapped around you and tucked into itself at the front).

We should regularly post pics of clothes we buy that make us look fantastic.

[karategrrl]

Vendetta, I luuuv gettng dressed up in the lingerie thang. It really gets me turned on and makes me feel sexaaah...

crinoline, I love your contributions of all the cute tops. You're adorable. There's a great book called "Generation T" about how to recycle T shirts into all sorts of cute tops--styles which happen to be great for small busties, BTW.

EVERYONE HAVE A BOOBIE-LOVING WEEKEND! (And lots of sex--with self and/or others!)

[girltrouble]

Like, I can wear something cut down to my navel without looking vulgar - that's pretty awesome.

<3 my all time favorite. <3

[crinoline]

absolutely! There is nothing sexier than recognizing your own sexual power. When I see my boy salivate over me (when he thinks I'm not looking ) it's a huge turn on. It's fun to get dressed up and know I'm turning heads. I also like to wear sexy lingerie for secret sexiness.
I think it's healthy and necessary to sometimes feel that way about yourself.

Some ladies were talking about how they were bummed that they couldn't wear certain tops. What about all of the tops/dresses that we can wear only because of our small boobehs? Like, I can wear something cut down to my navel without looking vulgar - that's pretty awesome. I wear a lot of skimpy tops that look great on my body but would look trashy on larger breasts. here are some examples of what I'm talking about : cute dress , great top (I love this model) , great dress - look how open the top is, I would totally wear this , cute cami , And let's not forget our ability to wear backless items! (I want this top)

So as you can see, we have a lot of cute options tops-wise. There's no reason to be bummed. You may notice there're a lot of "free people" brand items there. I love that brand, all of their clothing runs small and is often cut very small in the chest.

[Vendetta]

I'm curious what you mean by self-erotic? autoeroticism? Could you explain a little bit further?


crinoline: autoeroticism seems to be a better word. Since i'm portuguese, you'll have to excuse me lol I mean something like getting turned on by yourself on a sexual environment, or if watching your partner lusting after you gets you turned on or if the mirror and a good sexy song are your friends. Are you sexual, outside the intimacy of your bedroom? Do you have fun getting dressed on, wearing sexy clothes, admiring your own body and feeling powerful?

[ailurophile]

I totally agree with you karategrrl!!!! That would turn me on! Now... why wouldn't they rather have a pleased girl than a smack in the head from their angry girl??

[karategrrl]

they equate bad behavior with masculinity. the need to be disabused of this.

Well said, grrl. I always thought a REAL man would be the one who: 1) In a group of guys acting like neanderthals, would be the one to say, "Hey, that's not right," or get up and walk away and 2) when another woman (besides his own) flirts or makes advances, he'd be the one to recognize the behavior and reject it. That, to me, is the hottest, sexiest, most MASCULINE man of all.

(Um, do any men like that exist???!)

[neurotic.nelly]

thank you for the kind words. when i was writing the first part i took part of it out, but i think i should have kept it. here is the jist of what i said:

that said, i think if your guy a woman, i think you should lay into him. call him a perv, a shit head and anything else that crosses your mind. the above is not meant to be an excuse, but just to understand the behavior. i wish that more women would lay into guys, they equate bad behavior with masculinity. the need to be disabused of this.

The above really does work.

Thank you for your posts gt, they rocked the house!

[ailurophile]

Wow...busy day today!

girltrouble: You've really thought about this. Very perceptive ...and a great interpretation of our male companions' behavior! Thanx.

karategrrl: [He said in his defense, "I'm a guy!" to which I responded "Yes, you are a guy--an intelligent guy, who is capable of behaving better than that."] Clever response!!!

You girls have had excellent feedback on this subject.... Thanx so much.

[Vendetta]

Vendetta, re. your decision to get implants you said: "Of course I'm gonna be sad if someone loves my plastic boobs but at least I'll be happy with myself. Being sad cause they don't like my flat chest or being sad cause they love my implants it's pretty much the same thing."

How will you ever be happy in your relationships like this? If you get plastic boobs and the guy you're with loves your boobs, you are going to feel sad? You are putting your future guys in a no-win position! He loves your boobs - you feel bad because you think he only wants your big, fake boobs. He doesn't love your boobs - you will be pissed off and wondering why you bothered with the health risks and expense. No win. Poor guys. Poor you.

I'm not saying you shouldn't get implants. While I won't be getting them for a long list of reasons, I have been more supportive of that choice than others in this thread. But I do feel sorry for any guy who is put in that no-win position you describe, especially if he sincerely cares about you as a person. And I wonder how you will be happy.

Speaking of which, I thought ailurophile's comment that my boyfried is "weird" was pretty funny. But honestly, I have been very sexually active for multiple decades and have had dozens of lovers and not one was unenthusiastic about my little tits! Many expressed a preference for small breasts, others like titties regardless of size. I do want to add that I have never worn padded bra's and often wear no bra and very revealing tops. So they all knew what they were getting...they wanted it...and I gave it to them, with pleasure!

I also said that it didn't matter because I don't want boobs for someone's pleasure but my own.

[girltrouble]

thank you for the kind words. when i was writing the first part i took part of it out, but i think i should have kept it. here is the jist of what i said:

that said, i think if your guy a woman, i think you should lay into him. call him a perv, a shit head and anything else that crosses your mind. the above is not meant to be an excuse, but just to understand the behavior. i wish that more women would lay into guys, they equate bad behavior with masculinity. the need to be disabused of this.

[tastylove]

I had to register when I read the other posts. I, too, get down about my breast size. I had my son 6 years ago and breastfed him until he was 2 1/2. I now have a 30AA chest. And it's not even like I can go back to not wearing a bra like I did pre-baby because they are soooo saggy (half inflated water ballons come to mind.) I am a skinny-ass girl, and my boobs are a wonderful size for my body, but I can't stand the looseness of my skin now. It keeps me from being intimate with other women because I don't want them to compare theirs and mine. Oddly enough, I am still perfectly comfortable with my hubby, maybe because he saw the evolution of said boobs to their present condition. But, I would have to say, at least once a day I lament the passing of my old ta-tas.

[strongirl]

So much to comment on, so little time!

GirlTrouble - I am just blown away by all that. Wow. Awesome insights into the socialization of men and I completely, enthusiastically agree! A lot of it is totally conditioning and for legitimacy with other males, not a sincere expression of sexual interest.

Your small boob analogies remind me of something one of my lovers said once: "Large breasts are like Big Macs but your tits are like sushi...and I prefer sushi." By which I intend no disrespect to large-breasted girls; I'm just reporting it in the context of GirlTrouble's comparisons.

Another note on guys checking out other girls - my guy once made the point that his eye is drawn by anything outside the norm and that I might find him looking at big tits because, in his words, "I find them eye-catching but not necessariy erotic." He also warned me that he looks at men with big muscles - not because he's sexually attracted but because he lifts weights himself and admires others who have achieved the look he strives for.

So I think it is reasonable to say that "looking" can mean a variety of things...and most certainly does not mean your man does not love you, or prefers girls with bigger breasts than you.

On another topic, Karategrrl, I want to comment you for speaking out to that guy in the store. I wonder how many women walked away feeling bad and said nothing. Good for you and as another woman, I thank you.

[Queen Bull]

delurks-- what a great way to put it gt. kudos! -relurks

[karategrrl]

girltrouble, you MADE MY FRICKING DAY.

What an insightful post. You are abso-fucking lutely right with the "proofs" thing. Thanks so much for sharing that. That kind of behavior usually gets waaay under my skin like an itchy rash b/c it looks so freaking juvenile to me. (You can take my man, who under most circumstances, acts so intelligent, and put him in a group of male friends, and he seems to regress before my eyes--and even more quickly with alcohol. It always disgusted me b/c it's like, "WHO is that?? THAT is not the man I fell in love with!") I was unaware that it may be "proofs" at work. I remember once arguing with him about something blockheaded he'd done that hurt me. He said in his defense, "I'm a guy!" to which I responded "Yes, you are a guy--an intelligent guy, who is capable of behaving better than that." I have believed for some time now that men and women are conditioned differently, but "ritual becoming habitual"...yes...I see your point!

PS: "Ha, booblets." Cute.

[girltrouble]

can i say in men's defense, they really are clueless when it comes to breast size, bra size, or really anything to do with women's clothes. so if your guy doesn't know what clothes would fit you.... think about it being like a math equation, and if you don't know algebra, you can't solve the problem.

as for that Pavlovian saliva response to other women, most guys do it because they are taught that is acceptable. that "that's what men do." and just like most women were socialized around women, most guys were socialized around guys. with guys lots of there bad habits are what i like to call "proofs." proofs are a way for boys to prove they are masculine, that they aren't gay. with boys you have to think about some animal that needs to make a show about their virility to spook off their competitors. i've said it before, contrary to what most people think, masculinity is a very fragile thing-- it is constantly needing repair, and defending. at any moment guys masculinity can be called to the floor for a vote. i'd imagine the closest thing-- or the first thing that comes to my mind is mothers. they are perpetually having their motherhood into question. by ads, other people, friends, etc. the same with men. everything he does becomes a proof. think about it. he can look good, but not too good. he can have interests, but only certain interests. everything-- even who he dates, and the car he drives are proof to some degree. most guys are terrified of looking gay. i wouldn't even call it homophobia, because i think i fear of the feminine enters into it too, but they can't see how it's a sucker's game. so as boys they get in this habit of proving that masculinity, and eventually men-- and women-- think it's genetic wiring. i suppose to a degree it is. but only a small degree. ritual becomes habitual.

i don't know how you talk to your bf, but perhaps it would help to find some thing he finds painful when you do it, and equate the two. with guys you have to make it personal before they are gonna get it.

******

i just came in here because i've just started to really dig on my little boobies, or "booblets." for the longest time i've been day dreaming about getting a boob job, i know in my mind boobs equate to femininity, but i've started to look around and realise there is something really sexy about women who love their little boobs. i'm 6' tall so my boobs look smaller on me than they would on someone else, but they are b cups if i stuffed my bra. but i'm kind of going thru another one of my baby butch phases, and i'm really kind of diggin' on this kind of femininity. i love that they are so close to my body. i love the feeling of my gf/daddy's hands reaching around me and grabbing them. i love that they fit in the palm of my hand. i love that they are 'streamlined' that they aren't bombastic, but are subtle, and acquired taste. they are for the person who knows... it's kind of like, any boob can like big boobs. in america, that's a given. bigger is supposedly better, but that's easy, and don't get me wrong i get that aesthetic too. but to me this is like my city right now. all these beautiful buildings are being torn down for some ugly new condo box, but i figured out a long time ago, just cos something is new, doesn't mean it's better. there is so much to be said for the thing that doesn't just...jump out at you, heh. there is something to be said for the thing that you learn to love because you understand more about the art, y'know? the wine you love when you understand what your tasting, the book that is so f'ing deep because you see what the writer's doing, or, the analogy i can't resist because i love film, it's like preferring a director's lesser known movie, over the block buster, because it's the director at the height of his powers, and he's put together this tight little masterpiece that doesn't need all the bells and whistles, it's just this lean, streamlined, heat-seeking missile that hits it's target, with no false moves, no bullshit, and it's got so much depth, and complexity-- and nuance-- and most people don't know what to do with it cos it's not for the masses. no siree, this one is for the one who knows, who put the time in to understand the art, and not just go with the masses.

[karategrrl]

karategrrl: I also wanted to say that I'm proud of you for standing up to those guys with the explicit photos in their store. That took alot of courage to say something. Shame on them, especially the owner, for allowing such offensive and crude pictures for the public to see. I can't imagine a business allowing that and laughing it off as well.

Thanks. I am actually quite proud of myself, especially that I did what I did without thinking about it--I just reacted. In the past I would have just stewed. I'm not against erotica per se and I'm by no means a prude, but there is a time and place for everything, and in that setting it was inappropriate. Of course, it could be argued that what is "inappropriate" is a matter of opinion--I'm sure there are folks out there that think kiddie porn or raping small animals is appropriate.