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> Take It Outside, the thread for disagreements & derailments
auralpoison
post Oct 9 2008, 07:38 PM
Post #121


Big Fat Bitch
***
Posts: 4,932
From: Citizen of the world


Make yourself a t shirt & you'll never forget! I'm expecting mine to come any day now!


--------------------
"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
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hellotampon
post Oct 9 2008, 07:22 PM
Post #122


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,018
From: Connecticut


QUOTE(auralpoison @ Oct 9 2008, 11:04 PM) *
Yeah, go eat a bag of dicks.


laugh.gif I really hope I remember this phrase the next time I get mad at someone!
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auralpoison
post Oct 9 2008, 06:49 PM
Post #123


Big Fat Bitch
***
Posts: 4,932
From: Citizen of the world


We don't think you're setting us up. We think you're an asshat. You aren't offering us a timeshare in Boca, you're talking to us from this really stick-up-your-butt place.

It's all in your delivery. The tone you adopt when you write is offputting. And in some cases, completely misguided. I reiterate: You were a total assclown in the big breast thread. Your focus was on boobs being colourature for attracting mates. Happiness for women equals a relationship with a man. That sombody will love us for who we are. WHICH WASN'T THE FUCKING POINT OF THE THREAD. Had you spent fifteen minutes, I dunno, reading the actual THREAD, you'd know that. And when you got called to the carpet for it, you acted like a little bitch. "I'm a victim, I'm a victim of you awful, petty wimmens!"

OWN your shit, motherfucker. I OWN *ALL* my shit. It's bought & paid for in full. I, unlike you, actually acknowledge that sometimes I'm dead wrong. Hell, I've been corrected on here so many times I've lost count. But I LISTEN. I absorb, I consider. Sometimes I back the fuck up, sometimes I get on my hind legs. You can't seem to do that. You just whine about us meanies & carry on in your uppity way. You don't pause & say, "Gee, all these women think I'm a fuckstick. HUH. Maybe I should examine what they've said to me & take it to heart even if it stings a little."

We aren't ogres. WE AREN'T. Bust is full of fabulous, fierce, funny females. It's why I came here in the first place. There are women & men here that I'd get on the first plane out to help them without ever meeting. GT gets kicked out of her place? I'm on it. Zoya gets arrested? I'm on the next plane to Glasgow. Crino needs fucking tampons & ice cream? I'm there. Stargazer gets crazy & decides to move to Rwanda? All over it. I will do whatever I can to protect & love these people. That includes running off dorks that really should know better. I cut Litvak off at the knees last night because I *KNEW* he wasn't up to snuff. The Lounge has HIGH standards & you don't cut the mustard, either.

And I gotta say, you've been dissed by some of the biggies. The BIGGIES. The people that always get mad props in the MAS. Some of the most magnanimous, giving, loving Busties there are have told you to quit being a dick. If Bunny or Polly or CH told me to check myself? Well, then I'd sure as fuck check myself. Them bitches is S-M-A-R-T, smart. I learn from them every day. They MAKE me a better person. They tell me when I'm beyond the pale. And I respect the fuck out of that.

As far as what your friends think . . . have they read your posts? Do they know how condescending you sound? How blatanly uninformed you are even when you've been told WHY we get so turned off by you? Busties have been pretty clear with you from the beginning that we have issues with the way you post like a smartcunt. We don't like it. Yet you persist & then act all offended when we tell you to go take a flying fuck at a donut.

I don't think you're a bad guy. I DON'T. You just have the common male affliction of superiority & a distinct lack of listening skills. GT said it best, & I paraphrase, "More reading, less talking."


--------------------
"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
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funk0039
post Oct 9 2008, 06:14 PM
Post #124


BUSTie
**
Posts: 60
From: St Cloud MN, USA


QUOTE(gradgal @ Oct 9 2008, 05:39 PM) *
I think that you hit the nail on the head and pointed out what many Busties have been trying to say for a while now...

"In fact, the prevailing attitude is the exact opposite. They seem to think that I'm right, for the most part."

It is not about being RIGHT!!! The majority of your posts seem to be more about being right or validating to yourself how much you know rather than providing support. When people are struggling emotionally it is just as important and valuable to feel HEARD versus to receive the 'best' or 'most expert' advice. When you jump in with advice so quickly without getting to know the history of the individual who is posting or ask them questions, it can seem belittling...especially because there are many paths to recovery and the ones you suggest aren't necessarily best for all.


I'm sorry, I should have clarified what I meant. When I wrote I was trying to find out if I was right or not, I was referring to the collective interpretation that I was so destructive. One of the things that make me feel better about myself is when I try to be helpful just because, but discovering that I'm doing harm by my trying to help is really shocking. So, I asked the people around me if the people on this forum were right in their assessment. I asked a female friend of mine a few minutes ago, and she said that most men are pretty selfish, so when women encounter a man who's helpful they immediately try to defend themselves because they figure it's a set-up. She said that I should leave this forum, because there are women who are really negative and who won't want anyone around who contradicts their views. That last statement wasn't meant to antagonize!

I am so damn sorry that I did so much harm! No matter what the motivation behind the forum's response, I was hurting not helping.


--------------------
"Know thyself." Socrates
"This above all to thineownself be true." William Shakepeare
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." the Bible
These 3 laws govern who I am, whether or not you like it.
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auralpoison
post Oct 9 2008, 06:04 PM
Post #125


Big Fat Bitch
***
Posts: 4,932
From: Citizen of the world


Gradgal, *long slow clap* You hit the point right on the head. Unfortunately, not his head.

We've told him time & time again how to come correct, but he won't do it. He's too busy being the all-knowing, Funk the Great.

He actually GAVE ME DIRECTIONS ON HOW TO CUT A PILL IN HALF! Cos, you know, I'm a developmentally disabled nine year old that hadn't thought of his idea long ago. I mean, c'mon. Anybody that's been here for six minutes knows I'm not fucking stupid. A big fat bitch, yes, but stupid, NO. And then he had the nerve to mention that he wanted to help me despite my previous unpleasantness. Yeah, go eat a bag of dicks.

That shit in the large breast thread was straight fucking wack. He actually thought that our issues were about not finding the mens. Not back pain. Not the drama of finding a 36HH bra. Not some creepy guy cornering you at the grocery while he ogles your rack. And the way he talked to Thirties? INSULTING. And he has no idea WHY even though we laid it all out for him. Hell, GT was actually *nice* to the guy, when she usually waxes chumps like him with a quickness. The boy just don't get it & he's never gonna.

The last time I met a Funk-type F2F, I finally just told him to shut the fuck up when I was speaking. His only friend was his gf & she was a fucking headcase that he could "save". Once she got on good meds, she dumped him for being a total buttweasel.


--------------------
"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
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gradgal
post Oct 9 2008, 05:39 PM
Post #126







I think that you hit the nail on the head and pointed out what many Busties have been trying to say for a while now...

"In fact, the prevailing attitude is the exact opposite. They seem to think that I'm right, for the most part."

It is not about being RIGHT!!! The majority of your posts seem to be more about being right or validating to yourself how much you know rather than providing support. When people are struggling emotionally it is just as important and valuable to feel HEARD versus to receive the 'best' or 'most expert' advice. When you jump in with advice so quickly without getting to know the history of the individual who is posting or ask them questions, it can seem belittling...especially because there are many paths to recovery and the ones you suggest aren't necessarily best for all.



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auralpoison
post Oct 9 2008, 05:20 PM
Post #127


Big Fat Bitch
***
Posts: 4,932
From: Citizen of the world


Again with the martyr schtick. Get off the cross, we need the wood.

See, about the whole "being right" thing . . . ah, why bother.

Um, the majority has spoken. Repeatedly. You suck-diddley-uk. We wouldn't miss you. Mock you in absentia for a few days, but we wouldn't miss you. That would be tantamount to missing the clap.


--------------------
"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
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kittenb
post Oct 9 2008, 05:17 PM
Post #128


There is nothing ironic about Show Choir!
***
Posts: 3,261
From: Chicago


You've heard our opinions. Leave.


--------------------
In times of destruction, create something.
MHK
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funk0039
post Oct 9 2008, 05:14 PM
Post #129


BUSTie
**
Posts: 60
From: St Cloud MN, USA


If you all collectively believe me beyond salvage, then I will leave. I'll wait to hear all of your opinions, then if they are all negative, then I'll go.


--------------------
"Know thyself." Socrates
"This above all to thineownself be true." William Shakepeare
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." the Bible
These 3 laws govern who I am, whether or not you like it.
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funk0039
post Oct 9 2008, 05:12 PM
Post #130


BUSTie
**
Posts: 60
From: St Cloud MN, USA


I had no idea so many of you thought me destructive. How do I change the tone of my posts? It seems like everything I write is taken in the most negative light, and I wasn't intending it that way.

I've wandered the internet recently, and combining that with my life experience, I've never had ANYONE react like this to me, ever. I'm trying to understand. I've asked both male and female friends what they think of my posts, and none of them seem to have any trouble with my writing. In fact, the prevailing attitude is the exact opposite. They seem to think that I'm right, for the most part. The odd thing was, I asked them to tell me the truth, because I'd rather be hurt and have the truth, than just have a comforting lie. Nobody has ever reacted to me in such a hostile way.

I didn't know what this "Take It Outside" thread was. When I write, I'm not even remotely feeling superior to anyone. I've blocked many of the people who seem so crude where I was concerned, and I don't spend much time on this forum as I used to, because I had no wish to offend. I felt that maybe some of the things I've experienced might help others where depression was concerned. I tried to stay away from the threads where I saw many of the more hostile members post.

I dunno if you believe me, but I've been trying to learn as much as possible from every new experience. That's why I stayed here, because I thought if I was fucked up that I could learn how to change for the better, and I thought I might be able to help, at least a little.

At this point, none of you seem willing to take any of my posts at face value. I'm really sorry that I've disturbed each of you to this degree. I didn't intend harm.


--------------------
"Know thyself." Socrates
"This above all to thineownself be true." William Shakepeare
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." the Bible
These 3 laws govern who I am, whether or not you like it.
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auralpoison
post Oct 9 2008, 05:05 PM
Post #131


Big Fat Bitch
***
Posts: 4,932
From: Citizen of the world


I am salivating as I type this. He's gonna be posting a response any minute now. I better not have anymore tea cos I'm gonna pee when I read whatever retardo bullshit he's posted in response.

But, y'know, I'm petty like that. And vicious. And unforgiving. And my prideful worldview & all that.

I love being me. It's wonderful being adored.

AAAAAAnd . . . take it away Funk! Mount your pulpit & preach to the she-heathens!


--------------------
"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
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thirtiesgirl
post Oct 9 2008, 01:30 PM
Post #132


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 580
From: Loss Angeles


He's a 'savior guy,' and it's hard for them to get beyond their savior complexes. I've had several guy friends who have that issue, all generally nice guys on the surface, but really messed up with the over-helpfulness and condescension. Two of them that I used to know both continually fell for 'helpless' women in dire circumstances who basically used the guys for their own ends - child care, a place to stay when the abusive actual boyfriend got too abusive, financial aid, etc. My guy friends never learned. When one of them finally met a self-sufficient woman with her own place, car and job who was interested in him (as opposed to his money, his car or his apartment), he found all sorts of 'problems' in their relationship and with her in general, as an excuse to end the relationship. He couldn't handle a woman who didn't need his 'help' in that unhealthy, parasitic way, and he fucked up the chance at a real relationship because of it.


--------------------
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
-Mae West
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gradgal
post Oct 9 2008, 12:19 PM
Post #133







I agree with all of you ladies!

I have been lurking in the depression thread for some time and here is the quote that got me:

"I remember talking to a veteran once. He was in the same hospital I was, but he was in for something alcohol related. He was talking about his recurring problems (I think he was a Vietnam vet, but I can't remember properly since my memory sucks about painful times in my life). I had a funny feeling in the back of my head, and I looked at him and said something about maybe the reason why he drank so much is that he was really depressed because his life wasn't a happy one. I said that if he was really drunk, he's not thinking about how miserable his life is, he's thinking about putting one foot in front of the other and sitting up straight on the stool. I said that when you block things up, they just build steadily until it eats people from the inside out. He's just buying time with the booze, so when he's sober it comes back fiercer than ever. So he drinks, and it just gets worse. He stopped, and really looked at me. I dunno why. I don't think he was mad, just startled. I'm guessing I got him thinking, but I don't recall what he said after that."

Really, I'm surprised you don't remember what he said in response!!! Could it be that you are just so interested in hearing your own voice and 'wisdom' that you don't care about what the repercussions of your comments might be? The guy was probably thinking WTF!
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auralpoison
post Oct 9 2008, 12:06 PM
Post #134


Big Fat Bitch
***
Posts: 4,932
From: Citizen of the world


He's found his niche here. He's dug his toes in & ain't goin' nowheres unless we ignore him completely. I blocked him after his first bout of ignance, but he's made a nice little home for himself in the Depression thread. He's developed a relationship with somebody around here or else he'd have gone away. When I click on him (Yeah, I admit I watch his actions so I can avoid him.) he's usually PM'ing his heart away. For the love of Mike, I dunno who he's connected with, but whatever. He's like a stray dog. Only dumber. Feed him once & he's gonna keep coming back looking for more.


--------------------
"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
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candycane_girl
post Oct 9 2008, 11:47 AM
Post #135


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 2,336
From: Canada


Oh lordy, I don't know what else to say except that I agree with all of you ladies!

Although I once agreed with one tiny thing that he said, I was pissed off when I mentioned going off my meds under my doctor's supervision and got this as a response:

"Okay, first off, never even contemplate that unless the side effects are incredibly severe. For example, I was once on Zoloft and my emotions would go from ecstatic to depressed inside of a minute! That scared the hell out of me. You DO have to be very firm with a doctor when you are going out of your mind from medication's effects!"

Um, excuse you? Who the fuck do you think you are? I shouldn't go off my medication unless I have severe side effects? Fuck off. I'm going off my medication because I don't need it anymore and my doctor agrees with ME.

And I just have to reiterate what starpiste said. I used to post in that thread and now I don't because I'm sick of your lame-ass "I know everything and poor me my whole life has been a big obstacle but I've overcome it " response.

I don't want to talk to you, I want to talk to Busties!
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culturehandy
post Oct 9 2008, 11:32 AM
Post #136


(o)(o)
***
Posts: 11,350
From: Oh boobs


I read the last line in one of his posts, I just want to help, somehow.

Why not try shutting the fuck up? that'll help.

The fact that there are busties who lean on other busties for support and don't want to go in these threads is disgusting. Yaaaah, that's really helping.

Why not go have a pity party of his own.


--------------------
Hatred does not cease in this world by hating, but by not hating; this is an eternal truth. --- Buddah, The Dhammapada
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pollystyrene
post Oct 9 2008, 10:26 AM
Post #137


Too many mutha uckas, Uckin' with my shi-
***
Posts: 4,631
From: Chicago


LOL, bunny.

Kitten, that was definitely a healthy expression of anger. I think he should avoid dark alleys for awhile.


--------------------
You went to school where you were taught to fear and to obey, be cheerful, fit in, or someone might think you're weird.
Life can be perfect. People can be trusted. Someday, I will fall in love; a nice quiet home of my very own.
Free from all the pain. Happy and having fun all the time.
It never happened, did it?
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bunnyb
post Oct 9 2008, 10:24 AM
Post #138


The artist now known as I don't give a shit.
***
Posts: 4,053


Why whatever do you mean, polly? I dislocated my shoulder trying to twist your arm! wink.gif.

That first paragraph to kitten would put a nail in anybody's coffin; how completely and utterly condescending of him. I'd call him a twat but I don't want to lower myself to name calling because that wouldn't be passive aggressive either.


--------------------
"Hey, did anyone ever think Sylvia Plath wasn't crazy, maybe she was just cold? " (Lorelai Gilmore)
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pollystyrene
post Oct 9 2008, 10:19 AM
Post #139


Too many mutha uckas, Uckin' with my shi-
***
Posts: 4,631
From: Chicago


I'm going to break the "one you'll never send" part of the letters thread and post this, after bunny's urging (really had to twist my arm, huh? tongue.gif )

QUOTE(starpiste @ Oct 8 2008, 09:47 PM) *
Dear man posting in a certain thread,

I hate you. You're condescending and clueless about how your advice comes across. You don't even get when someone wants advice or when they just want commiseration. It's keeping me from posting because I don't want to read a trite, know-it-all response. And I even feel crappy when other people get them. fuck. I like that thread. It has been a place for me to share and vent and give hugs. I hate you. go away.

S.


QUOTE(pollystyrene @ Oct 9 2008, 09:03 AM) *
Dear man who I'm pretty sure starpiste is referring to,

This is why we don't want you here. You have a myopic view of a complex issue that's different for everyone and have no clue of the irritation you're causing.

It really, really pisses me off that Busties feel they can't even post in the thread because they'd have to deal with you.

I know you think you're being helpful, but you're not.

I know you're going through this yourself, but what works for you doesn't work for everyone and not everyone with the same issues is automatically get along with each other.

I know you're going to take this really personally and and want to post some "woe is me" martyr comment, but that's too bad.

I hope you get better and find happiness somewhere, I really do- I wouldn't wish this disease on anyone, but I care more about the Busties who have established themselves here and get along with everyone else than someone who's repeatedly made an ass of themselves and has been asked to go away.

I'm sure there are lots of places where your advice would be appreciated. This just isn't it.

Please just go away. Do not apologize, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars, just stop posting.

~Polly



--------------------
You went to school where you were taught to fear and to obey, be cheerful, fit in, or someone might think you're weird.
Life can be perfect. People can be trusted. Someday, I will fall in love; a nice quiet home of my very own.
Free from all the pain. Happy and having fun all the time.
It never happened, did it?
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kittenb
post Oct 9 2008, 09:52 AM
Post #140


There is nothing ironic about Show Choir!
***
Posts: 3,261
From: Chicago


QUOTE
kittenb, I find your remark to be a mite offensive. Do you honestly think I'm being rude? I don't. I don't know if that's what you meant, but that's how I interpreted it. Passive aggressive comments really aren't helping either I or the people who post here. You've got to find a healthier means of expressing your anger, I think. Please, don't do that again. It would be nice if you were more assertive in manner, but not aggressive either. Aggression or passiveness won't help you get the response you want out of me, or anyone else for that matter in most situations. They have their place, but not in this instance.

I've read that some of you on the trolls thread think that I'm arrogant, self-righteous or even just panicky. I am none of those things, because I really don't feel that way. I just don't want anyone to make the same mistakes I have if I can at all help it. Nobody deserves to make themselves feel like crap. That's why I responded the way I did. Since you can't hear my tone of voice, you have no idea what I'm feeling right now, so please don't make assumptions. I'm pretty sure I haven't made any. When I'm feeling messed up, I know that I don't think clearly, so having someone remind me of the truth helps.

Thanks for listening calmly, I really appreciate it.


I was trying to be offensive. I don't even think I was being passive about it although, you are right, I would have been less passive had I simply written, "Funk, you are being rude." You are arrogent and self-righteous. You act as though because something might be true for you, if must be true for everyone. You talk down to the people on the Depression thread by completely denying the thought that simply because someone experiences depression they are therefor incapable of making any choices of their own. Who the fuck do you think you are?! It is pissing me off more than I can even say here that the Depression thread, a needed place of compassion and support, is becoming, "Funks Views On Life Today."
And fuck "listening calmly." You don't get to tell me to be quiet and you don't get to tell me how to express myself. Remember all the accusations of being sexist? It is comments like that that made several of us realize that you are a sexist.
Just because you have been depressed does not make you an expert on the situation. I dye my own hair. That doesn't make me Paul Mitchell.
I think you are an idiot and I wish you would go away.
However, thanks for providing me with a "healthier" way to "express my anger." smile.gif


--------------------
In times of destruction, create something.
MHK
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