[girl_logic]

I second the comments about playing up different parts of your body. If you're self-conscious about your breasts play up your legs or something. I used to always be self-conscious about my legs because I'm kind of knock kneed but my sister-in-law tells me I have fantastic legs so I bought shorty shorts this summer for the first time ever. I'm psyched to wear them! It's fun to try out new clothing styles.

I'm also slightly knock-kneed (a curve inward at the knee) with killer gams. Knock em dead! I'm willing to bet it appears more as shapeliness than knock-kneedness.

[girl_logic]

*delurks*
I don't even post in this thread as much as I read here, but every time a man posts here, I read it and I feel like he's saying everything while looking directly at my chest. It's such a weird feeling.

[geoff]

auralpoison,
I definitely tried to make it clear that I wasn't re-stating things because of any "nothing a woman says is true unless a man validates it" attitude, but simply because it was a first-person view. I apologize if it sounded patronizing to anyone; it certainly wasn't the intent.

For that matter, I'm sorry for offending or angering anyone by posting in the first place.

I admit I didn't read all 95 (!) pages of this thread before posting, but I did read the latest few pages and the first few, and I absolutely looked carefully through the top-level forum threads for any introductory rules or "things a newbie should know" topics. That's usually enough to establish any local etiquette in a forum. You might want to post some sort of sticky topic where a newbie would find it to say, "Men, these are personal topics; please respect that and don't post here."

Anyway, I'm not a troll, so if you don't want me here, I'll leave.

[Persiflager]

*delurks*

Kudos for introducing himself in the newbies thread first.

*relurks*

[auralpoison]

Yeah, he's a MWET (Men Who Explain Things) telling us stuff we pretty much already know, but a *polite* MWET. He lacks the smug, high-toned asshole-ry of a cowardly PLoverRay or a Lord of I Know Everything, You Silly Little Wimmins Funk.

That being said, I really really really wish guys would just stay the fuck out of the breast threads. They basically repeat everything every guy that's ever come in here has ever said (Which they don't understand because they are generally too lazy to read beyond the first page.) just with different levels of tedium.

We know men like breasts & that it's not really that big of a deal, but that doesn't mean we aren't still plagued with insecurity. And men are no better when it comes to body issues: How many times is ED thrown in our faces a day, ladies? Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, Enzyte, PosTVac, etc. We aren't the only ones buying into the bigger is better myth.

[Aithinne]

Hey, he's a lot better than the last guy who posted on this forum. *shudders*. I especially liked this part:

"I got picked on in high school... But when I was dating a girl, that's one thing that the other guys congratulated me on, and it was one of the times I felt the most included. And you guessed it -- she had small breasts. (Small, beautiful breasts!) The other guys made fun of me for just about everything in high school, but never once for dating a girl with small breasts. It didn't matter a bit to the guys, even in high school."

[pollystyrene]

Like moths to the flame...

[geoff]

Hope this post isn't too long, but I joined just to reply here, so I guess I have a few things to say.

KeraBear,
I thought I might toss in a guy's perspective. A lot of the women here were exactly right, but I think if I were in your situation and had mainly other women telling me not to worry, I might have a little trouble believing that's really how men think. So a lot of this is just to reinforce what they said -- to assure you that they're right, and many men really do like smaller breasts.

First, parts of your original post:

I am 16 years old and don't even fit into a AA cup. They seem like they are in that quasi-"almost boob" stage of an 11-year-old. I am also short, skinny, with a boyish figure. Every time i seem to get to the point where I am getting close to loving my body for what it is, somebody seems to tear me down about it. Interestingly enough, it's mostly other GIRLS and not the guys. Why do you suppose that is?

Also, please tell me things will get better after high school. Thanks!

Angie's right; high school girls really do tear each other down, and it's mostly because they're self-conscious about themselves and want to redirect the negative attention. You could pick out their flaws to "get even," but then you'll be as bad as they are, and what may be worse, they'll just hate you and fight you and pick on you that much more.

It really does get better after high school. People almost entirely stop teasing you. My dad told me that, over and over, when I got picked on in high school (well, not for breast size). I believed him, and he was right, but I remember it was little consolation at the time. Just hold on and dream of the future; it will come. Angie also nailed it when she said you don't have much choice in high school. You're forced to be there, all day, every day, with those same people. It gets much better when you're not forced to be around specific people all the time.

Aithinne and oceangirl said that most men don't care about breast size or that they really like small breasts. And you noticed the guys aren't making fun of you. That's because they truly don't care about breast size. They care about breasts, just not the size! I mentioned I got picked on in high school... But when I was dating a girl, that's one thing that the other guys congratulated me on, and it was one of the times I felt the most included. And you guessed it -- she had small breasts. (Small, beautiful breasts!) The other guys made fun of me for just about everything in high school, but never once for dating a girl with small breasts. It didn't matter a bit to the guys, even in high school.

One thing I've learned here is that the small boobie lovers are out there! They're just not always so vocal.

Well, if you haven't already figured it out, I'm definitely a man who likes smaller breasts. And I have been more vocal about it the last five or ten years, and I've found that other men feel the same way. I think they're just afraid to be the first to admit it, because, just like women, men get the message from society that "real" men like huge boobs.

So when I'm with a male friend or two, and one mentions a woman nearby with big breasts, I say out loud what comes to mind: "Meh, those are a bit bigger than I like." And very frequently, after one man has dared to admit that, the others will then agree and say, "Yeah, I actually kinda like smaller ones better, too." I used to think my preferences were different, but I've gradually realized they're extremely common.

The real secret is: men just like breasts, and the vast majority of men truly don't care what size they are. I've never seen any man refuse to go out with a woman (or even to decide not to ask her out) because of the size of her breasts.

One more comment on KeraBear's post: You said you're 16. I've noticed that most women's breasts seem to keep growing until they're 20-22, or maybe even later. So, IMO, a woman who is the "perfect size" at 16 will probably be larger than I prefer by the time she's 20 or 22. If you think you're too small at 16, you'll probably turn out perfect! Even if they don't grow any more, I guarantee you're still fine, and most men will agree. Stand up straight, show a healthy confidence in your body, and give a warm, friendly smile, and men will melt.

P.S. I'm not exactly sure what "special boobie handshakes" are, but from Aithinne's description, I'm in!

[karategrrl]

Lol, I think if we start rubbing our tits against a man's chest in a boobie 'handshake', the smallie-loving men just might be more vocal about their appreciation. Everyone, go out and give your man a boobie handshake!

Hahaha! Uh, YES, I think most men would LUUUV this! Just practice it in moderation!

Lightchested, YAY for you for branching out in the fashion area! Never let small breasts prevent you from wearing fun stuff. Actually, I think necklaces are GREAT for us gals--they add a little adornment to our chests. Also, belts are great if you have a small waist to show off. I love belts. like someone else ere said, it's all about playing up your strong points.

Kera Bear, I second what everyone said, and YES, it does get better as you get older. Actually, TONS of things get better, or at least I can speak for myself--body image, feeling empowered, feeling independent, sex got better, etc.

I was never athletic in high school but I started in my 20s and I loved the way it made me appreciate my bod for the marvelous instrument it is. I was into karate for a long time (surprise, surprise, ha!) and I actually loved the way my streamlined boobage was an asset in the dojo. Are you on any teams or can you join a club or after-school thing? I bet with the right girls around you--ones who share that sporty mindset rather than those who want to be catty be-otches--you might enjoy your time at school a lot more. Maybe track, gymnastics, cheerleading--anything where speed and agility are favored--might suit you well. I may be totally off, and please tell me if I am, but it's just a thought. Even taking waks or hikes by yourself just to clear your mind and do some postive self-talk might help you feel better and balance all that negative bullshit.

And not to sound corny, but I appreciate your reaching out to the board! Sharing some wisdom and supporting a younger "smallie" makes me feel good!

[oceangirl]

I second the comments about playing up different parts of your body. If you're self-conscious about your breasts play up your legs or something. I used to always be self-conscious about my legs because I'm kind of knock kneed but my sister-in-law tells me I have fantastic legs so I bought shorty shorts this summer for the first time ever. I'm psyched to wear them! It's fun to try out new clothing styles.

[oceangirl]

I'm 29 now and the older I get the more I realize how much MOST (almost all) guys don't care about the size of a woman's breasts. I'm a size A and I've never had a problem with a guy saying they're too small or anything. The thing I like about having small breasts is guys don't STARE right at my chest instead of looking me in the eye. I appreciate other good things about having small breasts -- like no back pain, clothes generally hang better when you've got small breasts. There are a lot of advantages to having small breasts if you actually stop and think about it.

The only annoying thing is in the summer I have a hard time finding tank tops because I'm a size A and they don't fit right. But it's no big deal I just wear t-shirts instead!

The thing is I'm grateful for healthy breasts. When I was younger I was self-conscious about having size A breasts but not now. I feel like -- take me as I am or leave me. If a guy's not going to date you because you have small breasts he's not worth your time.

The only problem is finding stuff (bras) that fit nicely and are sexy. I order off some sites online but it's hit or miss (almost always hit! yay). I want to set up an online store for size A women to order bras.

Take care and be well!

Erica

[Aithinne]

One thing I've learned here is that the small boobie lovers are out there! They're just not always so vocal.
<special boobie "handshakes" for all those lurking tiny tittie lovers!>

Lol, I think if we start rubbing our tits against a man's chest in a boobie 'handshake', the smallie-loving men just might be more vocal about their appreciation. Everyone, go out and give your man a boobie handshake!

[Aithinne]

High school is absolute social torture. If you can detach yourself from the hierarchy and status games, your self-esteem will be much better for it. You'll start gaining more confidence as an adult from an already more stable level. I didn't feel good enough in HS either, and not even in college for that matter. I'm also short, skinny, and got small booblets.

All I can say is DON'T let people make you feel like you're deformed or lacking or abnormal. You are not. Don't give in to the ideal woman BS! Thinking negatively about your body gets you absolutely nowhere, and is such a waste of energy and time that it's completely laughable.

I've gone through a bad phase this past year where my previously ignored self-esteem problems all spewed out and had to be dealt with. I've looked at pretty much every single website about how men feel about small breasts and non-curvy body shape and how people in general perceive those traits. Trust me, from my own findings, I can no longer lie to myself and say that men don't like small breasts or that they are not beautiful or worthy of praise in general. It's not true, and if you search around on the internet, you'll find that many people love this trait in women and think it's hot.

We've all felt the way you do here. I'd read through the posts in this thread if I were you. It might take you a few days since there are so many, but trust me, it's worth it. This board has been invaluable for boosting my own confidence and I'm sure if you read it through and stick around, it will help you too.

____________________________

lightchested, isn't it a relief to not obsess about those kinds of clothing worries? Just reading your post was relaxing.

[angie_21]

Hey Kera Bear, yes to everything you asked. yes, I did get teased, yes I did always wish for them to grow, and yes it gets so much better after high school, even though they never did grow. Everyone is so self-conscious in high school, and all the girls are trying to make themselves feel better about the way they look by bringing other people down, and all the boys want the girls with big boobs, as if it's some kind of status symbol to have a well endowed girlfriend.

One thing I can say is, don't get mad at yourself for feeling bummed about it sometimes. It really was hard for me, and sometimes it just seemed like life was so unfair, it wasn't my fault my body didn't want to grow boobs! It took me a long time to change my perspective and gain my confidence. A big part of it was finding the right people to hang out with, mainly, people who love you for your intelligence and ability to have fun, not your appearance. If you're hanging out with negative people, it's really hard not to feel bad about yourself. And in high school, you don't have a lot of choice over who you spend your days with.

As I've said in this forum, probably ad nauseum, by the time I was 23, I had learned ot love my boobs at the size they are, and love my body the way it is, and spend most of my day never even thinking about it. I also learned to focus on different parts of my body, and show them off more, and appreciate what my body can do, not just how it looks. And eventually, boys get more mature and learn to appreciate a lot of different things about women and their bodies, and for the most part they get over the intense breast obsession they seem to have as teenagers (although frat boys are actually more immature. I don't understand it. Maybe it's because most of them are spoiled rich brats).

[KeraBear]

Hey gals. I am looking for some sage words of wisdom. Can any of you offer up any advice on going through high school with tiny breasts? I get teased A LOT because of it. I am 16 years old and don't even fit into a AA cup. They seem like they are in that quasi-"almost boob" stage of an 11-year-old. I am also short, skinny, with a boyish figure. Every time i seem to get to the point where I am getting close to loving my body for what it is, somebody seems to tear me down about it. Interestingly enough, it's mostly other GIRLS and not the guys. Why do you suppose that is?

Did you get teased? What are some constructive ways of dealing? I am sorta conflicted. On one hand, I REALLY want my breasts to grow over the summer. On the other, I shouldn't HAVE to have or want bigger breasts in order to validate myself as a woman, you know?

Also, please tell me things will get better after high school. Thanks!

[lightchested]

Funny how we all are checking back in at the same time, after an extended leave of absence.

I wonder if the weather is accountable for our lifted spirits and perhaps reduced time spent on Internet in general? I have definitely been way less self-conscious lately about my relative sizelessness. It's all relative, right? Sometimes rather than wish for boobs myself, I wish all other women would have theirs shrink down to my size, or smaller. Problem solved.

Anyway, I've been proud of myself lately for wearing necklaces and belts. I used to think I "couldn't" wear either because both stick out farther than my boobs. Now I don't care, and I like the adornment! I look at and judge the belts and necklaces in their own right, and not in terms of how they make my boobs look. It is a very freeing way to think, and I'm much happier thinking this way when choosing an outfit (belts, necklaces, shirts, etc.) instead of always, "But how would my boobs look in that?" Now I'm looking at my boobs as something unrelated to the clothes, jewelry, and belts that I wear. When the dependencies between them are gone (the primary dependency being "I can only wear something if it doesn't make my boobs look inordinately small") then life becomes much easier and happier.

[karategrrl]

No one is going to notice the cellulite on your ass, karategrrl. They will probably notice your slammin body. Get outta here with that cellulite stuff!
Just keeping it real...

[Aithinne]

PS: swimwear update: If you all recall, I ordered the two Victoria's Secret monokinis, thinking one might look good. Well, BOTH looked good. I was trying to decide which to keep and hubby said, "Keep them both!" Both had a teensy bit of padding, even the one that didn't say it did, so the boobs look shaped but not like overstuffed sofas. Me happy. Now to just get rid of that cellulite on my ass..... Ugh.

No one is going to notice the cellulite on your ass, karategrrl. They will probably notice your slammin body. Get outta here with that cellulite stuff!


Just keeping it real...

[karategrrl]

he told me he thought cute little boobs like mine are the best ever.

One thing I've learned here is that the small boobie lovers are out there! They're just not always so vocal.
<special boobie "handshakes" for all those lurking tiny tittie lovers!>

PS: swimwear update: If you all recall, I ordered the two Victoria's Secret monokinis, thinking one might look good. Well, BOTH looked good. I was trying to decide which to keep and hubby said, "Keep them both!" Both had a teensy bit of padding, even the one that didn't say it did, so the boobs look shaped but not like overstuffed sofas. Me happy. Now to just get rid of that cellulite on my ass..... Ugh.

[angie_21]

I'm also happy to have the forum back to life! It's good that we have time away, it means we aren't obsessing about it, but there are some good conversations that get started here.

Maybe we need a secret handshake? ...which makes me recall how I and a good friend of mine, as teens, invented a funny spin-off of boys' "secret" handshakes. We'd bounce our boobs off each others', kind of "patty-cake" style, while saying, "Yo! Whassup!!?" <snicker> Ah, youth.

I just had to laugh because this made me think of a Curb Your Enthusiasm espisode where Larry David was saying bald guys always nod and give eachother the thumbs up when they walk by eachother in public.

Since some of us are missing the happy boobie stories, I thought of a good story from a long time ago, when I was 21 and went to get my nipples pierced (ahh, youth...) They asked if I had a preference for a man or woman piercer, and I said no, so it was a guy. Naturally the conversation turned to nipples and therefore boobs, and he told me he thought cute little boobs like mine are the best ever. It was so neat to be comfortable enough with myself to do it at all, and then to have a complete stranger compliment me, on something I had never before got a compliment for. The whole thing was kind of a turning point in my small boob issues, even though the piercings themelves didn't work out so well (1 pierced nip = sexy, 2 infected/scarred nips = not that great). I still kept one piercing, for now, just to remind myself that small boobs can be fun and sexy, too.