[koffeewitch]

*bump*

[sukouyant]

Surprisingly diverse range of video responses to it too. I'm still looking for the lucid, non-moralistic prohibitionist response that makes sense to me and my lived experience. I think that the overarching statements are based on fear.

[sybarite]

Cheers for posting this sukouyant; interesting and illuminating, with everyone speaking right to the usual shibboleths(by which I mean mythic, common ideas around sex work). The observation of the ways in which a mainstream branch of feminism is making overarching statements against sex work is especially problematic.

[sukouyant]

This is what I came in to post. It's so interesting. I've been posting it all over the place.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TdEYqOZY_E...eos=vFD1-oIrkZ4

(it's a video by current and former sex workers and allies re-butting a lot of the arguments we get regarding feminism and why what we do should be prohibited or banned)

[kittenb]

I think I am going to try to fit "love truncheon" into daily conversation from now on.

I am a day late but I wanted to mention that yesterday was The International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. It was started 6 years ago by Dr. Annie Sprinkle to commemorrate the Green River Killings. I hosted a Chicago SWOP memorial at my office (they did all the work, I just gave them free space.) We read the names of sex workers who had been killed in the past year and discussed legal rights and the like. It was nice, actually. I wanted to post a poem that was read called Green River Cry. It is long and sad but says a lot.

Sister
What does our flesh
mean to them ?

Sister
What do our lives mean to them ?

Sister
As your corpse is lowered in to a grave

your baby daughter cries
for the comfort of your arms

your baby daughter cries
for her mother's milk.

But Sister

What does our flesh
mean to them ?

What do our lives
mean to them ?

Sister
As your corpse is lowered in to a grave
your mother cries
to hold her baby in her arms again


your mother cries
to hear her daughter's voice again.

Our flesh


Our lives
Our souls
Our dreams


What do we
mean to them?

Sister
As your body is lowered in to a grave
I remember
the way you danced
the way you laughed
the way you sang
the way you moved
the touch of your caring hand
upon my tired shoulder.

What do our dreams
what do our souls
our lives
our flesh
mean to them ?

They are the men
with money to spend.
What's a lot to us
is a pittance to them.

Sister
I remember your head held high
Your soul flaming with rebellion
as you worked the Strip
in the cold night
in front of Boeing.

How much milk for your baby daughter
how many gas and electricity bills
how many phone bills
could you pay
with the millions and millions
they spend on one weapons system ?

And I blame the Green River Murders also on you,
Boeing
The hands that build the bombs
are already covered with our blood

As my sisters face murderers on the streets
because they need the money
and their children cry hungry.

What does it mean
When there is not enough to go around?
It means that someone
has stolen it all.

Me and my sisters
are facing the murderers
to take back
what is ours.

To take our dreams back
To reclaim the hopes of our souls
To reclaim the dignity and beauty


of our flesh.
Facing the murderers
with our lives
on the line.

The cops have spent over 10 million dollars
fucking around pretending to care


about stopping the Green River Murders

10 million dollars fucking around
playing at being heroes
While my sisters are still on the streets
turning $20 tricks
to have a place to sleep for the night
Facing the murderers
square in the eye.

And how much money do the pigs spend in one night
chasing
harassing
arresting
jailing whores?
My sisters turning 20 and 50 dollar tricks
to be able to buy groceries
for themselves and their families.



How much money do they spend
keeping us in jail
while our children still go hungry ?

Cops:
You have long been covered with our blood
from head to toe.

Our souls
Our dreams
Our lives
and you only want
to eat our flesh.

When I was 17
working the street
I learned who vice cops are.

As sister after sister
is murdered


and Green River
runs redder and redder with our blood
I have not forgotten
who vice cops are.

Frank Adamson
I am looking you square in the eye...

This whore
is here fighting
for peace
and love
and life
and Truth.

Officer Friendly my ass
you pigs are murderers

And in my sisters' fight


for peace
and love
and life
the Truth shall be revealed
for all the world to see.

Like a volcano erupting
Our rage and tender love
and the Truths we know

are gonna shake the State.

With the fire of the truth


With the fire of our rage
With the fire of our love



We are going to melt their systems of death-


missile systems
police departments


their systematic sexism
their systematic racism


their Order-

killing us slowly with minimum wage
or killing us quickly
with bloody violence.

When I was fifteen
I saw Mt. Saint Helens erupt.

Honey, that beauty was angry
and so am I.

Green River Murderer
I want to live!

Cops
Politicians
Warmakers:

Us whores
are fighting back

Fighting back for peace
and life and love and truth

So that some day
our little children
can play and laugh and dance and sing
in the sunshine
on the banks of the Green River
well-fed and safe-

Without having to see
their mommie's mutilated corpses
floating
downstream.


End.

[auralpoison]

Wha? Is true! I'd rather use "love truncheon" over "penis" to describe the junk any day.

That guy had to have been the lamest fuck in the world. It was always the same thing with him. He wanted me to straddle his lap in a tight t shirt so he could see my nipples & a mini skirt with girlish panties. He had this . . . weird thing about running his fingers under the panties' elastic & then pushing the t shirt up, but not off. He was really into the fucking without taking the clothes off. I can't say I think elastic against your bone would be sexy, but that was his thing. I always wondered where he got that fetish. I wondered if he might have been a bedwetter or something & that the elastic made him feel safe & sexy.

[SUPERLUVER]

And you don't call it a "penis" unless there is something wrong with it.

HA!!

[vixen_within]

I find this so exciting - I wish I were a burlesque performer! This troupe is outstanding..Maybe a bustie or a lurker could be the one -

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Yard Dogs Road Show is auditioning dancers!

For the first time in our 9 year history we are holding open auditions for our newest member.

Is it you?

We are in search of a dancer to act as a fill in for the Black and Blue Burlesque.

We are looking for someone with a good amount of dance and show experience. Multitalented is a bonus. Any amount of real time touring experience is a BIG bonus.

Lots of enthusiasm and the ability to learn quick would be good too. We will be developing a bunch of new material this year and you will need to keep pace.

Although it’s not guaranteed, please know that this position does have a way of evolving into something more full-time.

As for the road, YDRS has its own unique style of touring. Touring with YDRS or any traveling show is not for the faint-hearted. If you’ve been on the road, you know the reality of it. It’s a vigorous and also rewarding life that takes absolute dedication to an art form.

If you have limited experience but feel a true kinship to what we do, please don’t be shy. We would love to see what you got.

You may need to either live in the San Francisco Bay Area or be willing to relocate here. This is our home base.

Send a video link that shows at least two minutes of you performing your own choreography as well as resumes, portfolios, websites and MySpace pages to:

blackandblueburlesque@yahoo.com

Please include all necessary contact information.

The deadline for submissions is Monday, January 12th. This deadline may be extended depending on the response.

If we feel like it’s a fit we will contact you to schedule a live audition.

Take care.

The Yard Dogs

[vixen_within]

There's a great woman called Sadie Lune who's putting together an anthology for non-paying partners of sex workers. Her letter is below:



Hello Ho-land,

I'm working on an anthology of writing by the non-paying partners of sex
workers. I would love if you distributed this widely and encouraged people
you know to submit, while I definitely want some established writers as
contributers, its also very important to me to represent the stories of more
'regular' people who don't necessarily identify as writers.

Thank you!

Sadie

p.s. I am open to hearing suggestions for the title, I have a long list of
possibilities, but none that I'm totally in love with yet.

________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________

Call for Submissions: *Whore Lover (*working title)
Deadline: March 4th 2009
Compiled/Edited by *Sadie Lune*

*Whore Lover: Lovers and Partners of Sex Workers Speak*
An anthology of non-fiction essays written by the non-paying partners
(queer-trans-straight) of sex workers about their experiences and feelings
regarding their unique position in the marketplace of love.
From casual dates, to long term relationships, to going down in flames, *Whore
Lover* will explore the personal narratives of people attracted, intimate
and in love with those who work in the sex industry. Present and former
lovers and partners of sex workers are encouraged to submit. Whore Lover is
looking to represent the stories of a multiplicity of people: people of
color, trans, queer, gay, straight, of all ages. Partners in all areas of
the sex industry will be featured.

Topics of interest include but are not limited to:
*Day to day negotiations
*My partner and I turned each other out
* I was a trick and then became a lover
*Loving a Sex Work Celebrity
*My partner's job turns me on
* My partner's work inspired me to be a sex work client
* I'm a sex worker and I only date other sex workers
*How I deal with family and friends around my partner's work
*How I've dealt (or not) with my own ego around my partner's sex work
*My partner switched jobs within the industry and how that worked for us
* My partner's sex work is a secret from everyone (including me?)
*I broke up with my partner because of sex work

People who have dated/loved/married all variety of sex workers including but
not limited to: porn actors, strippers, FBSM/sensual massage providers,
street-based workers, tantra providers, erotic body workers, sexual
surrogates, escorts, fetish workers, phone-sex workers, pro-Dominants and
pro-submissives, are welcome to submit.

A limited number of interviews are possible to those who are interested in
having their voices heard but feel more comfortable talking than writing.
First-time writers definitely welcome. No poetry, please.
Pseudonyms or anonymous submissions are fine and will be honored.
Pieces should be between 1000-7000 words.

Please submit via email attachment (pdf or doc file) to:
partnersanthology@gmail.com

[girltrouble]

i suspect that guy deserved it. she was aiming for his sorry ass.

i love that the place was called the booby trap.

priceless.

ap, i can see that your voice could cause "icing."
you know that scene in disney's robin hood where sir hiss sings "trust in me" and his eyes go all hypnotic?
that's what hearing your message did to me. if you left me a message saying, "put your panties on your head and run around the corner nekkid." i would have spent the night in the pokey.

really. that one other girl that had a voice better than yours? her voice could make me wooooooozy. her voice was like a warm bath on vicadin. lovely.

and she had the most charming southern lilt.

and she made uh-huhhhhh, the most sexiest word evah.

[auralpoison]

All ya'lls that dance, do make sure your shoes are on tight.

[auralpoison]

GT, you know my voice is just icing on the girlcrush cake, yeah?

It's such a weird stigma. I was NEVER ashamed of what I did, I just resented the way that other people took it. EG: I was at my gran's husband's funeral & was sitting at table with a few of his friends. One of them made an off-colour joke referring to me/my job & I didn't get it. I was baffled. It was such an inappropriate setting. And then his wife crowed, "I forgot, we're sitting at a table with the PORN QUEEN!" really loudly. I WAS NOT A PORN QUEEN. I fulfilled a socio-psychosexual outlet for the sexually disenfranchised. Men/women that couldn't express their sexuality comfortably to their partners were my bread & butter. I was a supportive listener/active engager in their wants. As Dan says, I was GGG for them when they didn't have that in their real lives. I like to think I helped a few of them be more open in their wants with a live partner.

I don't look down on "legitimate" sex workers. The ones that deal with halitosis, cum, the gropers, & icky weirdos. The strippers, the escorts, the dommes, what have you. They fulfill a need to a niche market.

I've dommed for scratch a few times (True domming I think = no actual release at the dommes' hands. I just wanted my apartment cleaned.), but was always uncomfortable with the humiliation aspect. I knew they *required* it, but I didn't like providing it. It made me feel bad. But why shouldn't the people that are down make money off of it if they're cool with it?

I largely viewed myself as a sex *facilitator*, rather than a sex worker since the term is so open to definition. I didn't get naked, there was no hands on work. It wasn't sweat, sex, cum, & hair. BUT. What I did required the same sophisticated instincts. It was my job to know how far I could go without crossing a line. To know just how far I could go with a client before it got into something that blew their fantasies. It was in many ways a VERY intimate, cerebral thing. I got top dollar scratch because I could sniff out a client's needs quickly & serve them with a smile & a quickness. I got them off, they became repeat business.

Except for the guy that refused to use vernacular. He always wanted to rub his "penis" against my "crotch". "Crotch" is such an ugly word. I'd rather have had cunt, pussy, snatch, whatever. And you don't call it a "penis" unless there is something wrong with it.

As of late, an artist friend of mine has gotten me intrigued with the gay escort scene. Like, the HIGH dollar escort scene. There's a guy in NYC named Dane that particularly fascinates me. He's gay, so I know he wouldn't fuck me, but I'd like to buy a night with him just to hang out & talk. He's early forties, buff as fuck, & has a fireplug cock. All of his reviews give him high marks. I'd just like to hang out with him; have dinner see a show. Maybe watch him jerk off. Just so I know how it might feel & how he feels about it.

I also wonder why there isn't nearly as big a scene for straight male escorts outside of walkers. I know our femme minds are wired differently, but I think I might enjoy paying $500 for a few hours with a really hot guy that was attentive, erudite, witty, & fun to be around whether I fuck him or not. At least I'd know what I was getting.

[girltrouble]

lol, vixen i think you're right, and i feel the same way-- about it sticking in your --and my--craw. i do the same thing with being transgendered, i pull in a lot of groups that don't belong there-- like lady body builders, i tend to go by some definition i've found and draw that line in the sand. i think the reason i do it is sort of a "sparticus" strategy. if you remember the movie (or movies like malcolm x which paid homage to it), sparticus is saved from certain death when a bunch of people in a crowd sparticus is hiding in all claim to be him, one by one. the idea is that if everybody is one, then it is impossible for that stigma to find it's mark.

that said, i still have lots of beef with people i consider transgendered.

what can i say, heh. i'm not perfect.

but i think, and this is not any sort of dig at kitten, i admire what she does, but those words, sex worker, carry a weight, that it is very easy to overlook, it is often a milstone, one that i still struggle with, even now. it impacts how you see everything, friends, lovers, family.... often it makes choices for you. who you let in, who you do not. who you let in and let know you. it is very much a prison, due to that stigma. i know being trans was, and to some degree is like that, and i would surmise, rape is too.

but when it comes to sex work, if it were not for the stigma, i would have no issue with that life at all. but that stigma, i've seen it eat up people that i know are far stronger than me. to understand it, to walk with that sign above your head....

i think it should be a requirement for everyone pointing their finger at us, or trying to understand those who do this work. there is a gut level understanding that comes from that heavyness that civilians, no matter how close to us never understand. it is a very deep thing.

[thirtiesgirl]

Center of the World - everyone i talk to seems to have a different reaction to this. I liked it because I could relate to the situation and see where the conflicts between the women came from, and all the unspoken inner conflict of the main character. Some people think she just plays the "silent beautiful girl" though, and they have a point too.

I'd definitely agree with that assessment, having seen the movie years ago in the theater. It was an interesting movie, but not great, imho. It does open with a cool track by Laika, though: Black Cat Bone, also to be found on their album Good Looking Blues.

[vixen_within]

.... it's not an easy label to wear.

i think calling yourself a sex worker, for me at least, changes the equation.

someone was posting about the isolation that most of us felt as sexworkers. i think part of that is the shame involved. i think many s.w. try not to call ourselves in those terms too. i knew a domme who, i thought it funny was very 'pro sexworker' and loved talking up how much she wanted to be an activist, but was closeted about what she did to everyone she knew, and would interject how she "didn't have sex." at every opportunity. the issue isn't the percentage of sex you do or don't have, but rather if you deal with the issue in your work. to my mind, dan savage is a sex worker. it's not that he's having sex at the office, but his job deals with sex in a different way than most people and their crushes at work. kitten, i think to see yourself in those terms may add something to how you view those clients. i think when the rubber hits the road, they may not want that label any more than you.

or not.

what do i know?

GT your definition of sex worker is really compelling. I still find it hard to let go of a definition that excludes people who aren't in the trenches so to speak, with the sweat, the cum and the heat, and in particular, the stigma that we carry. The unfair regulations and bizarre licensing practices, the busts, and the pathologizing of our choices. I feel like most people who can, try to get off the bus when the engine heats up. And even though I know that includes the dommes, the strippers, and just about anyone who can claim they aren't having intercourse -- ah i don't know...something sticks in my craw when suddenly sex work is "chic" and everyone wants on board for the ride. Most of the sex workers I know lead anonymous lives for the most part and, the shame and the laws, are usually the big reasons why.

[girltrouble]

Sex is such a small part of what I do...

as a former escort, i'd say the same thing. i don't think it's wrong that you don't call yourself a sex worker. it's not an easy label to wear.

i think calling yourself a sex worker, for me at least, changes the equation.

someone was posting about the isolation that most of us felt as sexworkers. i think part of that is the shame involved. i think many s.w. try not to call ourselves in those terms too. i knew a domme who, i thought it funny was very 'pro sexworker' and loved talking up how much she wanted to be an activist, but was closeted about what she did to everyone she knew, and would interject how she "didn't have sex." at every opportunity. the issue isn't the percentage of sex you do or don't have, but rather if you deal with the issue in your work. to my mind, dan savage is a sex worker. it's not that he's having sex at the office, but his job deals with sex in a different way than most people and their crushes at work. kitten, i think to see yourself in those terms may add something to how you view those clients. i think when the rubber hits the road, they may not want that label any more than you.

or not.

what do i know?

[kittenb]

No you didn't make the same mistake. Rape counselors who work long term often end up talking about sex with clients if the clients want. I just don't do long term counseling.

[vixen_within]

I know that was a big part of it. The woman who said it has worked in ministry counseling for a long time and it seemed like such a damaging thing to say.

Sex is such a small part of what I do. As a crisis counselor, I am more like a field medic helping survivors get first-aid so that they can decide if they need to see someone who will see them face-to-face. I rarely talk with people about their sex lives...

Oops did I nearly do the same thing as your ministry associate? I caught the 'counseling' part and left out the 'crisis' when I was considering it.

[kittenb]

Did it irritate you that she referred to rape as sex?

I know that was a big part of it. The woman who said it has worked in ministry counseling for a long time and it seemed like such a damaging thing to say.

Sex is such a small part of what I do. As a crisis counselor, I am more like a field medic helping survivors get first-aid so that they can decide if they need to see someone who will see them face-to-face. I rarely talk with people about their sex lives.

I get offended when people try to describe folks who work in sex-shops or video stores and, like you, in forms of counseling, as sex workers

This seems to be a point of contention in much of the debate about sex work; who counts as a sex worker.

[vixen_within]

On the flip side, I get offended when people try to describe folks who work in sex-shops or video stores and, like you, in forms of counseling, as sex workers, because it feels like appropriation.

Did it irritate you that she referred to rape as sex?

In a way, you do what sex workers do. Make people comfortable again with their sexuality.