[Persiflager]

Thirded!

[nbdx0645]

But a thread on these types topic could work, given that the interest level is what you predict and that some of us hope it could be.

I second that.

[Allison-Shine]

Oh, goodness, no, I wasn't implying that you weren't playing by the rules. Huhn-uh. No way, no how. You were just the last person that made mention of some of the weirdness we've all been talking about in regards to competition & such, so I linked from you.

You touched on some salient points; I've always wondered about the whole, "big tit girls are sluts", "fat chicks work harder to please you", etc, etc, etc talk. Only once in my life have I ever heard another woman say, "Well, he really gives good head because he knows his dick is short & unsatisfying."

Of course, popular culture would lead us to believe that women's needs are purely monetary, "Anna Nicole's hubby may have been firing dust out of his shriveled, ancient dick, but his cheque book was fucking huge!" IE: Men don't need to compensate for their physical imperfections as long as they are fiscally flush.

I just think it's interesting & I thought I'd see what ya'll thought about it before making a move.

Oh no worries, just wanted to make sure. I know what you mean by the "weirdness" being brought up by most of us. A fellow Bustie that I correspond with frequently in private message coined the term "random weirdness" that we use when one of us brings up something so weird and out of the blue regarding topics like this.

Weird or not, the competition is there and real as many of us know, it's not like I seek it out but it seeks me out even more so. I get the comments, the gloating and even the non-verbal instances and gestures as well that are sometimes hard to put into words. I know many would give anything to have my 34B's but there are instances that my size pales in comparison to others as well. And its not just the boobies either. It's the whole package that can get scrutinized or compared.

[auralpoison]

Was this to imply that I was not?

But a thread on these types topic could work, given that the interest level is what you predict and that some of us hope it could be.

Oh, goodness, no, I wasn't implying that you weren't playing by the rules. Huhn-uh. No way, no how. You were just the last person that made mention of some of the weirdness we've all been talking about in regards to competition & such, so I linked from you.

You touched on some salient points; I've always wondered about the whole, "big tit girls are sluts", "fat chicks work harder to please you", etc, etc, etc talk. Only once in my life have I ever heard another woman say, "Well, he really gives good head because he knows his dick is short & unsatisfying."

Of course, popular culture would lead us to believe that women's needs are purely monetary, "Anna Nicole's hubby may have been firing dust out of his shriveled, ancient dick, but his cheque book was fucking huge!" IE: Men don't need to compensate for their physical imperfections as long as they are fiscally flush.

I just think it's interesting & I thought I'd see what ya'll thought about it before making a move.

[Allison-Shine]

I don't wanna gum up this thread's purpose, so I am beginning to think that we need a body issue thread or some such to discuss these weird myths/ideas. Especially in light of the way we've been talking about comparison & compensation back & forth between the two threads. It's something we're all obviously interested in & might want to consider further. I looked around to see if we could re-purpose an old thread, but I'm not seeing any likely candidates. Shall I suggest this to the Community Forum?

This place may be a fuckin' ghost town, but I still live by & respect the rules.

Was this to imply that I was not?

But a thread on these types topic could work, given that the interest level is what you predict and that some of us hope it could be.

[auralpoison]

I would have loved to be given that benefit of the doubt. I used to be told (and still am told to a limited extent) the opposite that bustier, more built women are better in bed. Some would say it in jest, others with a certain amount of conviction. Well, lets all have an effin' contest then !

We all get unwanted attention, some more than others and its not always in perfect correlation to the size of our breasts. But I always wanted to at least fit in more with the "competiton", not just in breast size, but in height and overall figure too, just the overall package. Sometimes I still feel like that 14-15 year old and get mistaken for it occasionally.

I don't wanna gum up this thread's purpose, so I am beginning to think that we need a body issue thread or some such to discuss these weird myths/ideas. Especially in light of the way we've been talking about comparison & compensation back & forth between the two threads. It's something we're all obviously interested in & might want to consider further. I looked around to see if we could re-purpose an old thread, but I'm not seeing any likely candidates. Shall I suggest this to the Community Forum?

This place may be a fuckin' ghost town, but I still live by & respect the rules.

[koffeewitch]

Now that's a completely rational argument.

What I hear you saying is that whether or not one has the anatomy (as men do with breasts, and women do not with penises) is irrelevant. The important issue is the subjective psychological experience that the individual associates with that body part.

Yep, I think you got it. I think this thread is mainly a place where woman can share the effects of living in a society that perpetually reinforces the idea that their bodies are somehow wrong, unfeminine, and inadequate. I champion your stepping in to share your personal opinion and preference for smaller busted women. But to imply that this is the best thread for you because you also have small boobs....well, not so much.

I certainly welcome menfolk in the lounge, as do most of the others. But we have lots of other threads that are not so much "women's safe space" as this thead is. You might even really dig A Gender Agenda. I for one would love to get a man's perspective on some of the issues brought up in there...

[Allison-Shine]

Absolutely ladies, totally agree with everything!

nbdx you just made me realize how much we do make excuses for our breasts and how much everyone else does too. Like guys saying girls with small boobs will be better in bed because they have to compensate. What the f**k is that?! And then anytime I'm great in bed I'm perpetuating that myth I guess, better start being terrible!

Or what about my favorite one: "least you don't get all that unwanted attention from guys" as though I am completely invisible to the heterosexual male. Like I could walk around stark naked and no one would blink an eye because I have small boobs so I won't be getting any attention. Well I hate to break it to you people but getting negative attention from guys is unfortunately part of the female experience in this world. Not saying I'm some hot supermodel having guys hit on me inappropriately all the time, but I have had guys "catcall" me from time to time. May be rarer than if I was stacked, but it has happened believe it or not. And being told I am essentially invisible, be it from bad or good attention, doesn't exactly make me feel great about myself. Not that I want to have gross men drooling over me, but I don't want to hear that my smalll boobs are some kind of on-the-streets man repellent either!

I would have loved to be given that benefit of the doubt. I used to be told (and still am told to a limited extent) the opposite that bustier, more built women are better in bed. Some would say it in jest, others with a certain amount of conviction. Well, lets all have an effin' contest then !

We all get unwanted attention, some more than others and its not always in perfect correlation to the size of our breasts. But I always wanted to at least fit in more with the "competiton", not just in breast size, but in height and overall figure too, just the overall package. Sometimes I still feel like that 14-15 year old and get mistaken for it occasionally.

[Allison-Shine]

Kera, it sucks to have the big-boobed challenger in your life be your SISTER. I mean, I can at least walk away from these girls when I see them, but it's hard to escape family.

If you ever get tired of your comebacks or feel they've list their impact, you might also try just agreeing with her with great enthusiasm. It feels weird at first but I have to say I've tried this approach to those never-ending exchanges and it really disarms folks. Like, they can't argue. They know you're not really in agreement but you take all the excitement out of the exchange for them. --just a thought on how you might "deflate" her...heh.

It DOES seem like her maturity hasn't kept up with her breast development.

Exactly, especially your younger sister. I am not talking about one that is just 1-3 years younger but one that is seven years younger like mine.

In a span of four years, when she was 13-17 (me 20-24) she went from an A cup to a D, shot up to be 4" taller than me and 30 pounds heavier (but not at all overweight), I still can't get over it completely.

My sister's maturity is finally starting to catch up to her breast development. Fortunately she feels less of a need to state the obvious about our disparity, but she still carries herself where she makes it clear that she has got more the goods between the two of us. She has changed from a giddy brat to a more poised young woman but still is very aware of what she has physically and would not hesitate to remind me of that if need be. She is good with not making such statements and comparisons around relatives but will still do so among her freinds or other acquaintences.

Either because that was so obvious where I missed it or I could not bring myself to it, but agreeing with enthusiam never really occured to me. I don't know if I could do that yet, despite that being good advice.

[just_a_guy]

Now that's a completely rational argument.

What I hear you saying is that whether or not one has the anatomy (as men do with breasts, and women do not with penises) is irrelevant. The important issue is the subjective psychological experience that the individual associates with that body part.

I would seriously like to know how the "beauty" study avoided cultural bias...when they used cultures that all had access to American movies, advertisements, television shows, etc. and are heavily influenced by western culture.
P.S. I think I would like to start a small penis thread. I'm certain any man who would want to discuss his discomfiture at the hands of insensitive lovers would have a penis much larger than mine.

[koffeewitch]

I would seriously like to know how the "beauty" study avoided cultural bias...when they used cultures that all had access to American movies, advertisements, television shows, etc. and are heavily influenced by western culture.


P.S. I think I would like to start a small penis thread. I'm certain any man who would want to discuss his discomfiture at the hands of insensitive lovers would have a penis much larger than mine.

[just_a_guy]

boo And to answer your question: Anyone who isn't at a bar fifteen minutes before last call!

Oh, but his PMs are heartbreakingly brilliant screeds of passive aggressive white male privilege! Mine made me laugh so hard I almost tinkled!

That's all I'm gonna say about that though because I feel like we are in Bloody Mary territory here. Say his name in the mirror three times & he'll pop out & getcha!

I actually came in to post this tidbit on the Secret of Beauty. Surveys like this come along with an alarming frequency, I often wonder just how much money is wasted on them. You'll note on the right hand side all of the weird related articles on human attractiveness. "Ugly Truth About One Night Stands: Men Less Choosy Than Women". REALLY? Like, REALLY? Who hasn't seen *that* guy at the bar fifteen minutes to last call trying to use that final half hour to score with whatever gal will take him?

[auralpoison]

(& JAG please don't PM me, I don't care about your 'breasts')

Oh, but his PMs are heartbreakingly brilliant screeds of passive aggressive white male privilege! Mine made me laugh so hard I almost tinkled!

That's all I'm gonna say about that though because I feel like we are in Bloody Mary territory here. Say his name in the mirror three times & he'll pop out & getcha!

I actually came in to post this tidbit on the Secret of Beauty. Surveys like this come along with an alarming frequency, I often wonder just how much money is wasted on them. You'll note on the right hand side all of the weird related articles on human attractiveness. "Ugly Truth About One Night Stands: Men Less Choosy Than Women". REALLY? Like, REALLY? Who hasn't seen *that* guy at the bar fifteen minutes to last call trying to use that final half hour to score with whatever gal will take him?

And durr! Starship, I forgot to add that one can control who can send them PMs. Go to My Controls, left hand side under Menu & Messenger, tick PM Block List & you can add anybody that annoys you to it.

[starship]

Wow, some really interesting stuff here lately. I'm always surprised at all the new and innovative ways you ladies come up with to look at the situation. You give perspectives I could never have dreamed of and really make me think about things differently:)


(& JAG please don't PM me, I don't care about your 'breasts')

[koffeewitch]

I hope I'm not derailing an on-going topic with this thought...but here goes. I watch a lot, a LOT of foreign films. And just like with imported magazines one of the first things I notice is that the women are often much more natural-looking. There is no need for every little mole to be covered or to bring a body double in because the leading actress has a little cellulite. So, I see many more A/B cups out there...in fact a majority. I remember reading that the "average" cup size in the U.S. used to be B before the nation started getting fatter. Anyway, the women who are labeled "small breasted" in these films have such beautiful, sensual bodies. They look gorgeous running on the beach naked; they look comfortable in their own skin and so free to enjoy their bodies. Then I remember how in many cultures breasts aren't given the same sexualized status as they are in Western cultures. It's like a woman's entire body is beautiful and feminine...there's none of this hacking our bodies into little segments ( like Persi said about having -2 legs, but a +3 bum).

That said; I wanted to tell you guys...I used to work in a nursing home so I've seen every type of body naked. The smaller breasted women used to amaze me; they were 80 and STILL had perky little breasts sans bra. Many of them had even had had several children, but their bodies still looked youthful and beautiful.

[strongirl]

Buttercups, I'm pretty sure you were just being facetious but I did want to say that your behaviour during sex should be about your desires and pleasure and those of your partner(s) and have nothing to do with representing the small-breasted community in any way.

While I do try to celebrate the beauty in all body types, I have to confess to preferences and I think it is OK to have them. As a bi woman, I prefer guys with six-pack abs over guys with big bellies, and I prefer girls with small perky tits and supersensitive nipples over girls with big pillowy bosoms. Which is not to say I would not be attracted to someone who doesn't fit that - I have and could. But I think it's OK to have preferences and I think it's OK to appreciate certain specific qualities of different body types, be it perkiness or jiggliness or whatever.

I think it's fine to look in the mirror and go "Yay, no sagging or stretchmarks!" - I don't think that has to take anything away from big-breasted chicks and I don't think it has to take anything away from us when they look in the mirror and give the big girls an affectionate shake.

On the buxom girls who can't shut up about it, though, I recently was at a bar with that friend I've mentioned in here before and sure enough, she maintains her record of being 100% consistent in having to have her boobs be a topic of conversation. While I find it tiresome, I feel sorry for her - she's gotta be even more obsessive about it than we are, LOL. And adding to my feeling bad for her - somehow the topic of birth control came up and I mentioned that I'd only been off it for 2 weeks of my entire 30+ years of reproductive life, during which I became (intentionally) pregnant. Turns out she's been off of it for 5 years now and trying to conceive with no luck. I felt bad about flapping my trap, since she's obviously sad about being infertile. But it also puts the lie to the whole evo psych concept that big-boobed women are attractive because of their obvious fertility. Ironic, eh?

[KeraBear]

It DOES seem like her maturity hasn't kept up with her breast development.

LOL! yea no doubt. I will have to remind her of that the next time she gives me crap about it.

Hmm... enthusiastic agreeal... never thought of that... you really think that might work? I'll give it a try.

[karategrrl]

Kera, it sucks to have the big-boobed challenger in your life be your SISTER. I mean, I can at least walk away from these girls when I see them, but it's hard to escape family.

If you ever get tired of your comebacks or feel they've list their impact, you might also try just agreeing with her with great enthusiasm. It feels weird at first but I have to say I've tried this approach to those never-ending exchanges and it really disarms folks. Like, they can't argue. They know you're not really in agreement but you take all the excitement out of the exchange for them. --just a thought on how you might "deflate" her...heh.

It DOES seem like her maturity hasn't kept up with her breast development.

[KeraBear]

Oh yea I soooooooo know what you all mean. I hate the boyish comments too for sure! My lil sis in particular likes to tease me by suggesting that she is more woman than i am just because she is rocking the Cs. I just punch her in the boob. It makes me feel better. LMAO! No. Being a woman is all about attitude. Maturity - something she seems to seriously lack sometimes.

It also bothered me for the longest time when people would use the phrase "you are a woman now" when it comes to girls getting their first period. How is that supposed to make lil Kera feel when she was 15 and the only one of her friends (and her grade it seems) who has not experienced that? Does that mean that the 11 year old down the street who had just gotten hit with it is more a woman than i am? I think not!!!!!!! Ha ha... i figured since everybody else was ranting, i should too.

I know what you mean Karategrrl. I am pretty much in utter complete awe of my sister's rack and sometimes daydream about what it would be like to carry those around for a day (real cleavage... without trying, yay!). And i fight back by making comments to make me feel better - " At least mine won't sag when i am older." "I can go braless, can YOU?" "I can run with no bounceage. So THERE." But really how would that help things in the long run? Not so much. Plus i should not drop to her level of bratiness.

Persiflager... LOL! SO true though.

[Persiflager]

*delurks*

With all this talk of 'making up' and 'compensating' and whatnot.... where do we get this idea from that we owe anyone anything when it comes to our bodies?

I've always been a guilty fan of Trinny and Susannah, but you've just made me realise how f'ed up the basic concept is.

"Hi! I apologise for my -2 legs, but I think you'll find yourself more than happy with my +3 bum and +1 hair!"

*relurks to continue rant in large-booby thread.....*