[Vendetta]

I've been on counseling and it hasn't been helping at all. I'm still flat when I get out from that door. The only good point about it is that I'm paying for someone to listen to me. And that someone has nothing against implants and thinks that sometimes, in the end, there are things that need to be done altough i'm there to talk myself out of it. In "the end", we'll see. I still think that I don't want to live a "life of misery" (drama queen lol) and probably the only way to get the issue out of the table is to do it. I know a person that has been like me a whole life and at 45 years old surrended herself to surgery and says that, when she looks at herself in the mirror, she is so sure that it was the best thing she's done. They look so real that it's impressing. Mind you that this is my opinion for myself and my experience, i'm not saying breast implants are a good thing for everyone. For some reason i'm paying hard to be listened to, instead of paying for my "unholy womanliness" already lol
Cheers

[ailurophile]

Thanx girls. Do I feel better already? Well, no. I do, however, feel a tremendous amount of support. I know the responses are from people like me, less than a B cup, not from my friends or family who have small boobs (B or C cup) and think they understand. They are not small boobs to me. They are HUGE boobs.

karategrrl... You are very inspiring. Have you ever felt like me? It seems that you may have been unhappy about your size but you can deal with it now. I wish to one day be comfortable with myself. As you suggested, I'm trying to find something I do like about myself. I have lost about 20 lbs over a period of time. My belly and butt look so much better (they were really gross) but of course what little "umf" I had in my breasts from the extra weight has gone. (When I gained the weight originally, I still wore the same bras, I just filled them up better. Of course, I was the only person who could tell they were ever bigger. Now there is extra space in my bra.) Anyway...I can wear cuter, tighter clothes now and that makes me feel better about myself. I guess I have to take the bad with the good.

annak...Thanx for your input. I guess if we all put our problems in a circle and were able to pick the ones we'd rather have, we would take back our own. I do, however, agree with vendetta, you just have no idea what this is like, just as I don't know what having big boobs is like. But do you feel womanly?? I do not. I feel like a little girl. I blossomed at the end of sixth grade (the last girl to do it, mind you) and they stopped growing in their tracks. Like vendetta said, "I don't want big breasts, just B-cups. Just SOME breasts". We're not selfish. Like girls with large breasts, I get looks too. But it's different. It's more like they can't believe it. I think they look away in embarrassment...or pity. We both have issues but they are very different. My problem hurts my self-esteem.

I feel the same things as vendetta..."jealousy and envy and I've been angry, frustrated and depressed" However, I've been like this since puberty. Now at 37, it's sooo bad that I've become obsessed. I've considered counseling, but just don't see how that can change things. I'll still be flat.

Thanx for being here for me.

[Vendetta]

And about large-breasted women saying big breasts aren't all they're cracked up to be, I truly appreciate the honesty and it does make me feel grateful for what I have and helps me realize that every body type has its challenges. However...I never wanted gi-normous breasts anyway--just B cups, which as far as I know do not cause back problems, difficulty finding big-enough bras or tops, or men to leer like convicts just freed from prison.
[/quote]

That's what I mean grrrl. I don't want big breasts, just B-cups. Just SOME breasts. Big breasted girls have to deal with many physical problems whereas some small ladies usually have to deal with psychological problems. Big breasted women psychological problems can be big like having jerks staring at their chests but what the hell, they love having breasts and ask any of them if they do and I bet they'll say yes. I'm not saying our situation is worse, I'm only saying that I would prefer having men staring at them if that meant the person I choose to be with does too, than looking at myself in the mirror and see a pre-pubescent chest. Anyway, since I don't want huge breasts, that wouldn't even happen. I keep saying to myself that its discomfort is okay when everyone around me has at least a hint of cleavage. And jesus, I find it soooo beautiful, so how and why wouldn't he??

[karategrrl]

I've become a negative person with nothing but negative feelings since this has started to happen. I've been experiencing feelings I never did before like jealousy and envy and I've been angry, frustrated and depressed.

We have something in common. I've experienced more jealousy-type pain than I ever have since I got married. I'm not really sure why. The best I can figure is I care about this guy more than I have about anyone, and it's a bigger commitment than I've ever had where I stand to lose more than I ever have. (And I guess I have some silly, old-fashioned notions about monogamous relationships--like that one should not indulge in their attractions to anyone else.) So the times when he's flirted or had more than a passing glance at someone else it's felt like a sharp, hot knife going through my heart whereas when it happened with other people it still hurt, but not as much since in the back of my head I always felt like, "Well, I'll just dump you, asswipe...your loss!"

And about large-breasted women saying big breasts aren't all they're cracked up to be, I truly appreciate the honesty and it does make me feel grateful for what I have and helps me realize that every body type has its challenges. However...I never wanted gi-normous breasts anyway--just B cups, which as far as I know do not cause back problems, difficulty finding big-enough bras or tops, or men to leer like convicts just freed from prison.

[Vendetta]

And thanks for the support again. I've become a negative person with nothing but negative feelings since this has started to happen. I've been experiencing feelings I never did before like jealousy and envy and I've been angry, frustrated and depressed. I'm not dealing with this since puberty, it has "only" been a year. It was like a shock to me. And thanks for being there

[Vendetta]

hmm yes you are right Karategrrl. And the reason for me to use this thread is to vent, as support I can get from the people in my life. I just felt with annak something like, if I want to win the lottery and someone that did tells me that winning the lottery is not that great... I won't agree. Probably that someone is right, but I'll never now because I had never experienced that. If I cannot vent on an internet thread, where can I? I have been on counseling yes, but that hasn't moved me from wishing to have breasts. I still miss that part on me. I still have to accept that my boyfriend loves breasts. I'm probably a good candidate to breast implants, alone. My bf has nothing to do with that as probably I would end the relationship if I did that. Not having breasts is not what defines me, or you, but in the end, we are all in this thread for some reason.

[neurotic.nelly]

I'm with you on that. I feel unlikeable or uninteresting. The only good part about me was my tits. It was one of the reasons I stopped having relationships with men. They were only in it for my tits.

I got this quote from the large breast support group. No, it would seem, the grass isn't always greener.

You know, (vendetta) having larger breasts will not make life's problems go away, something will always be an issue. I think you should take heed karategrrl's comments down below, they are insightful.

[crinoline]

Thanks for the cross-thread support annak! It's good to hear things from the other side, the grass usually isn't greener after all!

(((busties of all sizes)))

[karategrrl]

Vendetta, I've been observing something for some time now and up to now I've kept my lips sealed (or should I say my typing fingers still?) on the topic. I'm going to risk being knocked over the virtual head and open my mouth.

It seems that whenever someone tries to build us--or you--up, you shoot them down. It's like you are determined to feel bad. I can appreciate that your situation with your BF has put a strain on you, but if things aren't getting any better, maybe it's time for a serious change of some kind. Feeling so bad and carrying all those feelings of frustration and anger around inside can't be good for you. Is there someone you can talk to? You mentioned that were going to see a counselor. How did that go?

This is, of course, a safe place for you to vent. Lord knows I've done it here, and I am grateful for the support. But what concerns me is it seems you've been feeling really bad over a pretty long time span with not much variation in your feelings. We all feel crappy from time to time, and our self-esteem can fluctuate on a day-to-day or even hourly basis, but this seems different.

[Vendetta]

Anna K, I appreciate your support but it's kinda easy for you to talk. You're not the one who can't wear a bra cause there's nothing to put in, you're not the one having a man that pays no attention to your flat chest cause he actually likes breasts. I can't put down a man for loving breasts, cause they're supposed to be part of a female physique, altought it hurts me.

[anna k]

ailurophile, speaking as someone with D-cups, having big breasts is overrated. They're nice, but they're not better or more "womanly" than smaller breasts. You have breasts, you are a woman, not more or less based on the size of your breasts. Men who put down small breasts and fetishisize big ones are creepy and childish and immature.

Like karategrrl said, your breasts are just one part of you. If you feel uncomfortable with them, you can find another body part to show off as your feature, like your legs or your eyes or your arms or whatnot. I don't like my breasts to be the center of attention, so I generally wear a button-down shirt over my tank top and will highlight my lips or dress my legs in long narrow trousers to make them look longer and leaner.

[karategrrl]

ailurophile, BIG HUGE hugs going out to you!!!

First off, I have to say it makes me feel bad to hear you saying bad things about yourself. You don't have "two little pathetic things" on your chest--you have breasts. big or small, large-nippled or small, riding high or hangin' low, just because yours have a particular appearance doesn't make them any less what they are. I would bet they look just fine, honey!!!!

If your new beau was so turned off by you, I'm sure he wouldn't have come near you. Maybe he sensed your apprehension and therefore decided to just not "go there" not because he wouldn't like it, but because he didn't want to make you feel disrespected, offended or hurt. You never know. and you don't know if you're the "flattest" girl he's ever seen. You simply don't know. And so what if you are? Maybe you're also the nicest, smartest, or have the prettiest legs or ass or some other feature.

Baby, you are in good company--the likes of Keira Knightley, Portia De Rossi and Gwen Stefani--hotties who are steming sexy because of their small breasts, not in spite of. We're out there, and we welcome you with no big boobs or implants in the way of our close hugs!! Ha. I'm glad you found us and I hope you stick around. There's a lot of good discussion going on here. I can tell you it's helped me tremendously.

My friend did the Brava bra thing, and I can tell you it's not worth it. I can't find my prior postings about it, but it takes like 10 hours a day and causes skin blisters, and in the end just doesn't work.


" I just want to look feminine."

I feel ya, sistah. In my ideal world, I'd have B-cup knockers. But try to remember that you probably look more feminine than you think you do. Just you being female make you strong and hot already.

Check back, often new friend. <<<HUGS>>>

[Vendetta]

airulophile, I feel you. So much.

[oceangirl]

has anyone ordered from barenecessities.com? you can choose by size. they have a really big selection.

[ailurophile]

Hi Girls:

Like TinyK, I'm new too. I totally feel for you all. I have been so depressed and disgusted with myself that I needed to search for a support group because I don't know what else to do. I have seriously thought of implants but they are so bad for many reasons. I'm so very tired of being the only person I know with no boobs. When I see other girls in public like myself, I kind of want to introduce myself and be their friend. Weird? Like someone said previously, my friends also are supportive but they just do not understand what it's like to be this way. I am 37 and never married and feel that having no boobs just turns men off. I recently met this guy that I've had crush on for months, he asked me out (Yippeee!) and we finally got intimate after a month. He went "there", but never took off my bra or shirt, kind of just went inside. I didn't take them off because I was embarrassed and he did not maybe because he didn't want to embarrass me or figured what's the use. Not sure. We never discussed my tiny breasts or my insecurities about them. He could have been disappointed too after discovering what was under my padded bra. Prior to the intimacy, we rented a movie that had alot of nudity in the beginning. After a while of it, I said.. "What did you rent? Porn?" He said... "What? It's not that bad." It probably wasn't but I get so offended and I knew he didn't understand that I was embarrassed about not having what they were showing.

But I got to say that I do feel inadequate and I have these two little pathetic things on my chest, it is humiliating. I somehow want to hear from him that it is okay and that's not why he likes me....or maybe he likes them the way they are. Whatever.... you know what I mean? I just feel like I am probably the flattest girl he's ever been with, as I always seem to be. I have very low self esteem and I think much of it is due to being flat.

Has anyone ever heard of Brava breast augmentation? Please check out this website and tell me what you think. (www.brava.com/home.asp) Am I nuts? This is supposd to be an implant alternative. I haven't spoken to my doctor yet as the site suggests.

I just want to look feminine.

[karategrrl]

One thing about porn I wanted to mention is that just because someone has checked out a particular site doesn't necessarily mean they have a special craving for it. I admit I've checked out a few weird porn sites out of sheer curiousity or the "car wreck" factor--you don't want to look but feel compelled to do so anyway, then it's like, "OH!" and "EW! I should not have looked!!"

Tinyk, you said:
"As for broaching the subject with my man... Admittedly, I haven't. I know that he would be sweet about it, and might pay more attention to the girls upon my request, but I don't think that would satisfy me. I don't want him to feel me up out of obligation or to appease me. I guess I just wish he'd magically become so turned on by the sight/ feeling of my little rack that he can't stand it... I also wish I'd receive an anonymous ten million-dollar donation, so I suppose sometimes we just need to face the fact that not all of our desires will come to fruition. Am I right?"

Honey, I, too wish my man would be driven so crazy at the sight of me that he would tear my clothes off. Alas, this is not the case, and I doubt it has anything to do with my breasts or lack thereof. He used to be much more amorous and aggressive--which I loved--but I think since now since winning me is no longer his "goal" (men are goal-oriented, remember) and he has accomplished that task, it's just not as big of a priority for him. Wah.

And I agree on your last point. I think a big part of becoming mature and grown-up is accepting that no, we won't have all we want in life (unfortunately). We must figure out what are the few key things that we can't live without, though, and try our best to satisfy those needs. If having a partner who LUVS and appreciates our small breasts is a "can't live without" item, we are entitled to that.

[Vendetta]

Yes, I feel somewhat like that. Like I want him to love me without any "but". In my case there is no "apparent" preference, he says he doesn't have that preference now but only since when I asked him to stop making comments. He loved big breasts and he fell in love with me and I was a confident person at that time. He could say whatever he wanted and he did. He made a mistake. Now he wants me to believe the opposite but I can't. His words and attitudes echo in my mind all the time. I lost my sex drive since I feel so insecure and self-conscious in bed and actually started looking at myself differently. And I became a person I never thought I could be. I stopped thinking about why are breasts so important, at least to me, I'm just tired. It's dumb but real. It's not a matter of being happy with the person I'm with but a matter of being happy about myself cause I'm not anymore. He keeps asking me to make an effort more than I have been doing, we keep breaking up, but our sex life is just gone. I keep struggling against surgery, even though I don't have the money, I do have that desire for myself. I keep having these images of him being turned on by the chest of another woman. Why in the hell would a relationship end up because of a preference for breasts? Why in the hell I can't pass that on and it does keep hurting me... I feel like I got sick of jealousy, frustration, hate, envy and sadness and that was not the person I was before.

[tinyk]

My boyfriend loves me but has a preference for bigger breasts. Why does this hurt me so much?

I guess we all wish to be an "ideal" partner for our mates... I know that, although my boyfriend loves me 'no matter what,' I will always be hurt by his apparent breast preference. The thing is, I don't want him to be "okay with" my small breasts, or to "deal with" the fact that I don't have massive orbs attached to my chest... I want him to LOVE my body. Perhaps you feel similarly? It's disheartening...

[Vendetta]

My boyfriend loves me but has a preference for bigger breasts. Why does this hurt me so much?

[Vendetta]

Hei ladies, it has been a while.. I've been reading you lately and relating to some of your posts. My relationship is still a mess, not even our holidays helped out. I think our sex life is over. Not for him, but for me. And having him expecting me to be ready for sex everyday when clearly i'm not is killing me. I don't know why i'm still with him...