[ginger_kitty]

I realized I am a snob, today. A coworker was trying to get me to go out with her and some of the girls from work. And politey said I'd think about it, which means no. But she kept asking, she said didn't want' to go alone, and I said 'well so and so are going'. But she was said 'they weren't really her friends she'd rather hang out with me.' But I couldn't be more different than the girl! I just don't see us clicking as friends.

And they are going to bar that's a notorious meat market, which is so not my scene, to see some bands I have never heard of so it seems like a waste of money for me. I don't know......... I just like to hang out with people I have something in common with, a shared interest or some thread of passion we can both relate to.

[anna k]

It was near Houston St, on Orchard St.

Luckily I didn't have to stand in front of people. The teams sat at tables and wrote answers down, and handed them in at the end of each round. So it was a private group effort as opposed to be asked out loud one at a time. Which was good as I didn't know anything about chemistry or presidential wives or obscure 80's movies.

[thereshegoes]

that triva club sounds like fun-where in brooklyn is it? i give you props for going out and getting up in front of all those people.

i too miss having guy friends of the platonic sort. i don't meet many now. they can be fun and drama-free. that sounds like a good way to meet people.

[anna k]

I would go back to the club. I liked answering trivia (best with pop culture and cultural history) and after years of being told that I should be on Jeopardy! or answering along with Ken Jennings, this felt like a dream come true to win cash for naming Brooklyn artists or Broadway musicals. Plus the people were a lot of fun, even though one woman at the table was getting drunk and looking like she was going to fall over.

I loved talking to guys without it being a date or a hookup or any expectations behind it. I'm really sick of that.

I looked up old classmates, seeing one girl who I admired for being a bookish brainiac go on to Colgate and be an honors student. Or a close friend of mine who studied Chinese and psychology and neuroscience at Brown. I've seen a couple of former students in my hometown, working various jobs. Some kids went to Penn State and Vassar, others went to community college and Wilson Tech. It's all split up. I feel proud for working at a major magazine and feeling more adult and more mature than I was as a reserved kid keeping scrapbooks of photos and articles that moved me.

It surprised me when kids who were cruel to me in seventh grade were nicer to me in eleventh grade, talking to me as if nothing had happened. Maybe they grew up or I did, but it was a little shock. One girl had called me stupid and ugly in j.h., and I slapped her. In senior year, we recieved academic awards, and she congratulated me on mine. It felt like a sweet little comeback.

[freckleface2727]

I'm a thread whore- 2 posts in a row!

are any of you familiar w/ Classmates.com?

I registered there awhile ago, and for a year paid for the Gold membership,but you know, the people I emailed didn't respond, and the ones that contacted me I wasn't that interested in hooking up w/ again.. anyway! I got a notification today that I girl I went to hs w/ sent me an email, but the damn thing won't show it to me, it's only showing the generic "welcome to the classmates.come message center, pay $$ to send emails .." and so I can't read what she wrote, can't send anything back, and am greatly peeved off right now!

I tried looking her up online and even w/ 1411 and the # I got the voicemail didn't sound like her but I left a message anyway.

does anyone know a good way to locate people?

the thing is.. I wasn't always very nice to her when we were in school.. I mean, we were friends sometimes.. but I remember calling her Desperado bc she never had a date.
for all I know her email is saying " hey I'm married now BITCH , and this is what he looks like ___open file for male underware model."

[freckleface2727]

anna isn't that just a great feeling.. to connect with and enjoy someone on a cerebral level, w/out any other extenuating baggage to weigh you down?

it sounds like you had a great time and bally for you!!
I personally miss having close guy friends. I mean, I'm still sorta tight w/ me & the mr's shared best friend, but he's married w/ a zillion kids & a wife who is eyyy, and they live on the other side of the world anyway.
not the same. (damn growing up!)

so are you going to go back to this same club and play the game again? this could be such a great opportunity for you to meet other like-minded & interesting people.

hummingbird: so far as the fear of blurting out the wrong thing at the worst time, do you internally coach yourself when you fear it happening most or am I totally strange?
if any of you watch gillmore girls, the way lorelie will ramble on w/ inane but 6 degree's of seperation realting topics- yup that's me. (much like the rainman-like way I post sometimes ! )
and thanks for the encouragement towards my (eventual) chosen field.
I am *just *starting*out* in the biggest meaning of that. no college or anything yet, that will happen in the winter as I already missed fall signups when we were still in limbo here as to staying or going.
the rape crisis center is a small but important first step.

[anna k]

I had a lot of fun tonight. I went to a trivia contest held at a NYC club, where I competed with a team to win $200 by answering trivia about various subjects. I got to hang with new people and talk with a guy who had an insane knowledge of presidential history. He got all the answers about the First Ladies' maiden names, while I contributed by listing the places of "doin' it" in Poison's Talk Dirty to Me (the basement, the bushes, old man's Ford, and the drive-in) and identifying songs by Biggie and The Crystals. I got $25 and felt included and happy to talk to smart people. The people around me got drunk and I could see their eyes half-mast and felt their breath on me, but I didn't care much. The guy who knew the presidential knowledge and I talked a lot, teasing me, saying I was the youngest at 23 while the others were 26+. I liked talking to the guys and liking them without thinking of dating or sexual attraction (btw, I wasn't sexually attracted to anyone), just goofing around and being equals.

[thereshegoes]

thanks for the support, gingerkitty (and everyone)

it's true though. some of the nicest weekends are spent with the mr. doing exactly what you want.

or with whomever, or alone, doing exactly what you want. it does beat comprimising and having a shit evening just to say you went out

[hummingbird]

freckle,

just wanted to say ditto to saying the wrong things or inappropriate things just blurting out of your mouth...I do this a lot. Especially around extremely chatty witty people...Also, good luck to you on your journey to become a womens advocate.

[ginger_kitty]

thereshegoes, I used to feel like a big dork if we didn't do anything, too. But I am really starting to feel better about just the hubby and me, hanging out on the weekend. This weekend we went on a couple long walks with the pups, hung out at the bookstore, shopped a little, and just chilled around the house reading our newly purchased books and watching movies. But it was great!

[thereshegoes]

hello----
i really relate to that whole thing about not having other people to complicate things. i feel we've been spending more weekends "just us"-and it's fun, but it sometimes makes me feel like more of a, well, dork.
i agree that i can (and do) pass a happy weekend with just my fella, but there a weird part of me that thinks "i am having a very good time watching this dvd and eating takeout, but are we not lameasses for not having a big urban-family type cluster to sit around a bar/cafe with photogenically every friday and saturday night?"---like even though im having fun, theres part of me that feels theres some "friends" type ideal everyone should live up to. maybe its easier when youre single. i should probably just relax and enjoy the fact that i have such a great boyfriend. . .

also, at my job, they just hired a hot new manager. even though we're both partnered, he's very flirty-funny with the female employees, and i act about as bashful and stupid with him as i did around the popular guys in high school. it's embarrising to stammer and blush whenever he makes a joke. plus, he's a boss.

[freckleface2727]

So it's been just me and the Mr. all weekend but it's been a really great weekend. I am leaning more towards thinking we don't other people to complicate our lives.
P.S. Recently discovered our only couple friends are seperating.

you know the mr had a now former co worker friend he'd invited for a cookout this weekend (w/out telling me, the guy was supposed to 'check w/ his wife & then call back') blow him off too.

I really do think it's Us, but that's ok.
we like each other, and our small family, and it's not worth the trouble & energy to prepare.
so yes ginger, totally.

I am sorry about the splitup, for all parties (including You & your Mr).

[ginger_kitty]

So it's been just me and the Mr. all weekend but it's been a really great weekend. I am leaning more towards thinking we don't other people to complicate our lives.


P.S. Recently discovered our only couple friends are seperating.

[laurenann]

gumby, it must be way easier now that you have worked at the same job for a year. at my old job i was so relaxed, even when new people came to work there.

everyone at the new job is very nice, and i have met a few women who seem like we may have things in common. i had one conversation during recess about how lame bars in fanueil hall are, but then i felt like i was being pretentious when i mentioned that i was going to a gallery opening that night. i need a little while longer to figure out the office dynamics, like if i am supposed to say hi to the secretaries when i come in in the morning and if being an aide is socially different than being a teacher.

[freckleface2727]

lunch Was good!

I only got to meet the mr's new boss and the 3 of us had lunch, and though he took us around several other places, most folks had taken off for the weekend bc the weather is so nice right now.
the bossman himself was great. lived in my wonderful city of Chi-town and is a Cubbie Fan too!
def is ok that the mr works there now that I know this.

and no, I didn't embarrass myself nor the mr.
of course I had the ongoing conversation in my head ' don't talk so much. tone it down-- More- think Demure.' and in the end I believe I succeded.
the mr was pleased, and told me later that he realises what a People Person I am, and appreciated my efforts to make a good impression for him. that was sweet.
bc tho I often don't actually like many people I encounter well enough to even Want to get to know them better, I am one of those people that comes across as super friendly anyway. ironic.

= whew!=

I only saw 1 other woman (not in uniform) in the chow hall today, though there might have been more but I was so focused on behaving (isn't that sad?) that I didn't get a chance to notice.

but as for meeting anyone there?
doesn't appear to have the potential and I am realising, albeit w/ some resistance, that if I'm going to have to stay in this place for the next 6+ years now (after 3.5 already, mostly waiting to Leave) I will HAVE to go out on my own w/ more determination. classes. book groups, whatever.

I'm a viable, relatively intelligent, off-beatedly art-lovin' feminist mama that Does have a lot to offer people.
(reminds me of stewart smalley's " I'm good enough,smart enough, and darn it, people Like me" frm SNL)

[gumby_cc]

hope lunch was good today, freckleface.

lauren i think your boyfriend gave you good advice....i always feel like a self conscious dork when i try to be social....i have two new coworkers this year and I really feel like i'm myself this year, compared to last year when i would just always make an ass out of myself (or at least i thought i was....)

i went onto myspace and stumbled onto this woman's page...i am like 98% sure it was this woman I worked with about 4 years ago, but only like four or five times before she moved...at the time i felt like we had a really close connection and was bummed that she was moving even though we just met each other....i was so excited that i emailed her thru myspace right away and was like, "didn't we work together? wasn't that you..."?"...i did that two days ago and now i feel like a major dork because she hasn't written back. i know it hasn't been that long but i was just so excited now i'm afraid i scared her off, even if it was the right person. she probably doesn't even remember who the hell i am.

[freckleface2727]

thankyou all for your sympathy.
the woman has been back in her home state for 2-3 days and still hasn't called.
hrmpf! she probly knows I am pissed!

on a better note: the mr is taking me to lunch tomorrow at his new workplace.
granted it's just an Army chow hall,but he works w/ very special people and hopefully some of them will have their spouses w/ them as it's family friday and that is encouraged. I also get somewhat of a tour of the place, which I am excited about too, to Finally see where he is working now.

my biggest fear is that I will trip & spill food and/or babble something terribly inappropriate as I am prone to do the more I try not to. my mr is quiet and reserved and I'm so... not.



laurenann & tempest - how was your first day (s) at school?

[ginger_kitty]

(((freckleface))) Sorry your friend blew you off.

(((dork hugs for everyone)))

thereshegoes, what cool username! When ever I force myself into a situation when I'm surrounded by new people, I try to compliment them on something. 'Hey great necklace, oh I'm so and so...' But only genuine compliments there is no point in being insincere. I hate the aniexty of starting a new job. I hate my current job, but I am comfortable b/c I have been there like 4 or 5 years so I know everyone, over time I just started to be myself instead of worrying what people think about me.

[thereshegoes]

wow---i admire clubbing alone/throwing parties! that's so brave! i am amazed so many people feel like this. . . sucks, but good not to feel alone. wish all of you the best of luck-

i also just started a new job and find myself hiding from my co-workers, who all seem cooler. if anyone has any ideas to break the ice besides a cheezy smile and a fake-sounding "hi there!" please let me know.

i am glad i found this thread. i am having a lot of the same stuff. i am trying to make friends (i just did a big friend purge that left me basically with one close friend and my boyfriend in NYC). i'm calling old acquaintances to make plans and get closer, but if they don't return my calls/emails right away, i get all freaked out and crawl back under my big-ass rock. plus there's the screening thing. i am so hyper-sensitive after getting burned by my old group that i've hung out with for the past 5 years, i'm always testing anyone who dares reach out to me.

sigh. . . it's a double-edged sword. it doesn't help that my boyfriend is in the same f-ing position, another weekend with no one else to play with but ourselves. . .

[freckleface2727]

laurenann-

have a great 1st day of work!!

I hope you meet loads of wonderful, creative, intelligent people.

what grade/ages are you and Tempest- going to teach?