[maimy]

Raisin, your inner bitch is sticking out. Lemme get that for you. *Tucking it in*

Busty, you've obviously forgotten - actually even HAVING an unsanctioned body type is unflattering!! Silly BustyGirl.

Also curious to know what is back from the 90s ...

[hellotampon]

yeah what is it? a short-sleeved flannel shirt? haha.

[mornington]

what's back? what? what?

*bounces*

I get so over-excited about cof's it's no longer funny.

[pepper]

that link isn't working. maybe that's for the best though...

[bklynhermit]

they're baaaack...

i guess they're waiting till fall to unleash those horrid long sleeved ones we all remember from the early 90's.

[raisingirl]

I love Fred Mertz/William Frawley, but those pants only belonged on him and him alone, Maude rest his soul.

[kittenbonanza]

Argh, polly, my mom does the same thing as mullet lady; the trendy shirt tucked into the high-waisted, Fred Mertz pants. It's horrible.

[bustygirl]

Ginger, whoever wrote that article doesn't know anything about clothing. Scoopnecked garments are absolutely essential for certain body types, because anyone over a B cup wearing a high neckline will look droopy, and it can make them look frumpy.

[runningwestward]

Forgive me ladies of taste but I too own crocs... BUT (it's a big but) I only wear them after practice (I want OUT of my runners and into something comfie that won't pick up the sweaty smell) and for open water training (at the beach... the goose poop washes away so easily and they float). They are WAY more comfie then flip flops. I never wear them in public... unless we have to make a food stop on the way home... and then I have other fashion issues.. sweaty nastiness, comfie warm down pants etc.

OK my report... I have desided I am my mother. I finally understand why she insisted that you put on a shirt over your swimsuit at the table. I now live a few blocks from my town's meat market beach. There are little restaurants around the area. WHY do girls think it's hot (and polite!!) to come in to a restuarant and eat in their bikini top with no shirt???? It's not body envy on my part, it's a lack of decency on their part!!! GAAAA!!!! And what is with the binikis with all the sequins???

[pepper]

i bought a pair of bright red crocs today. $26.95 at a trendy little store downtown.

of course, it was a trendy little KIDS store downtown because they're for my five year old.

ha ha, you didn't actually think they were for me now did you?

the arch support is tremendous. great for his funky little developing feet.

[raisingirl]

Ginger, that's some pretty bad advice in that article. I mean, just on the "no shirts with scoop necks" alone -- if I followed that advice, I'd have to walk around topless most of the time, as all of my favorite shirts are scoopnecked to some degree! I feel all stifled and uncomfortable feeling like I'm nearly choking with too-small neck openings or high necks (oh Maude, and I hate hate hate turtlenecks, don't even get me started...). And Lucy and Ethel don't like to feel constricted, either. *wink wink*

[mornington]

girl, mid-twenties, slim, blonde, nothing special. sainsburys (the supermarket), this afternoon. It's hot and sunny out. White halter, suited it. White a-line skirt, gorgeous cut, flowy, she looked good.

Until you look down, realise she's wearing a thong, and you can see her arse through the skirt. Her actual arse. I do not need that while shopping for groceries.

I also mentally make notes just so I can post on here. I think it's my inner bitch making herself known.

my mother has bought crocs. pink ones. aaaaaaargh

[maimy]

TheRedHead, that one is actually kind of baffling!

Polly, this is the reason we should never have to spend our personal time with people we are paid to be around.

[pollystyrene]

I went to my company picnic this afternoon and there were COF's everywhere- my friends, who I brought with, were like "Do some of these people dress this badly at work?" Um, sadly, yes. Some of the people were guests, too, but oh my-

There was a guest wearing a one piece spandex thing with pants and a halter top. She had a decent body to pull it off and it wasn't exactly tight, but it had these horizonrtal stripes in two shades of blue and her ass fell right between two of the darker, narrower stripes, like an outlined shelf. And she had on lucite-heeled platforms, that had like the hollow heel...I couldn't find a picture of a similar pair, but imagine a wedge heel with the middle part of the wedge missing. And it's all lucite. Eeek.

There's a woman I work with who hasn't changed her hairstyle since about 1984- I think she's Italian, in her early 40's and has curly dark hair. It's in a mullet. Bad, bad, bad. She's single and seems to try to dress stylishly, but wears high waisted jeans and a trendy shirt, but tucked in. Today she was wearing a lime green cut-off tank top and tight, black denim pants, that were about knee length.

Then there were random gauchos, other halter tops on people that shouldn't wear halter tops and miscellaneous other COF's.

[theredhead]

*de-lurk*

OH I almost forgot to post this!

At the airport on Thursday.

Larger woman wearing a too-tight black halter top, and too-short black ruffle skirt. With semi-sheer black tights (not the leggings kind of tights -- I'm talking full-foot tights). And ...

WHITE CROCS.

It was sort of what gofugyourself.com would call a "Scroll Down". Whatever it was, my first thought was, "Oh my god, I have to post that in CoF!"

*re-lurk*

[quietmadness]

Size 22 woman. Dirty blonde--just dirty blonde--no color/highlights. Cheese Puff arms, pasty white.

Absolutely smeared into a size 12 wife-beater black T-shirt and Chic brand straight leg jeans




with big ol' brown Skechers construction style thick-soled rounded toe (complete with construction soles!) shoe boots, circa 2001.

yeah.

[hellotampon]

Geez, what a list, ginger-kitty. Maybe we should all just get extensive plastic surgery. Then we'll look *perfect* and our clothes will flatter us!

[maimy]

I do think shorts CAN make your legs look thick, and frankly I've never yet seen a pair of unfitted capris that didn't look quite stupid on pretty much any body type (but that latter is a personal prejudice, I know it, and don't let it matter) - but, really "... and ...?"

I'm 38 years old and wear shorts when I am walking the dog. I've found two pair of my dad's old shorts (one some pajama shorts, another just regular shorts) that don't bunch up (well, too much) while I am walking, and hell if I'm going out in 96-degree heat and humidity in anything more than that when I'm out for exercise, not seducing anybody. I am clean and presentable, pretty is NOT the point. So fuck flattering pants. There are Crimes of Fashion, and there is simply surviving an evening. I don't think there is any crime in wearing functional clothing you know perfectly well isn't setting off the best features - GAH!

I've noticed a lot of non-crimes lately which are nonetheless notable for their sheer boringness.

>> Women in pants with a hem that's just ONE inch too short, and thus out of style;
>> or one inch too long, in need of a hem;
>> A lot of clothes which aren't radically out of style, but are definitely (quietly, meekly) obsolete, bland - and still somehow not quite serviceable either;
>> Wide blouses with straight-across hems that are JUST too short to flatter when (invariably) left untucked;
>> Cottons with just enough polyester in the blend to look like they came off the granny rack;
>> White shoes;
>> Navy "leather" shoes;
>> Heels of a shape so chunky and indeterminate they might have been manufactured in 1948 or 1968 or last week ...

Did see one almost-crime earlier in the week, but the woman who wore it is so nice I can't convict her ... a t-shirt dress. In fuschia. With something printed on the front ...

Ohdear.

[mornington]

oh but daahling, burkas are terribly unflattering. And they make everyone look short. And fat. (they're also a pain in the ass when it's hot). My mother describes it as like being inside a shuttlecock.

I love articles like that. Just because you realise that no matter what you wear, there will be somebody who thinks you shouldn't. And they're usually fugly.

girl in the chemists wearing black tights and a long t-shirt. that was it, except for a big gold chain around her neck.

[herculesgirl]

Hmm, perhaps burqas are the answer? Maybe something in linen or a summery printed cotton voile (muted colors, of course, don't want to draw any attention to those "FIGURE FLAWS"...and large prints are oh-so-gauche)...?