[ginger_kitty]

I don't have a Cof to report, but I was reading this crazy article in my local newspaper yesterday, entitled what to wear to look slimmer. The article said women should not wear shorts(they make your legs look thick), capris(even supermodel look shorter and wider in them), tank tops(they don't flatter our bodies), shirts w/ scoop necks(draws to much attenion to the round breast area),skirts(can make you seem short), and becareful of which dress you choose(several reasons were listed).

I wanted to kill the journalist that had the nerve to write it. But since she ruled out most summer clothing and didn't mention nudity as being unflatteringly, I'm tempted to spend my summer in my birthday suit!

[kittenbonanza]

This thread reminds me of a girl I saw at the carnival last year. She looked good and everything, but her t-shirt proudly proclaimed her to be a "Midnight Cowgirl". I really wanted to go up to her and say, "You do know that means you're a hooker, right?"

[smurfin]

I think this is my first time in the CoF thread. So, hi all, I'm Smurfin, and I am a CoF spotter.

Anyway, I was sitting in the park today. Today being one of the only hot days we'll likely get around here, so everybody had this kind of 'get your summer while you can' spirit. Now, nothing wrong with that. It was pretty much the reason I was out there. But oh my god. The CoFs! These were my particular favourites:

Two ladies, obviously friends, maybe more. Late fifties. One was wearing LEGGINGS that only went down to her calf and let me tell you: I don't know if anyone has the figure for leggings, but this lady *certainly* didn't. She looked vacuum-wrapped. Seriously.

The horrible thing was, I was torn between this lady's pants and her friend's when it comes to ultimate CoFs. Her friend was wearing flared trousers (ok, fair enough), with massive jungle print (well...) which almost WENT UP TO HER ARMPITS. The stragly I-haven't-cut-my-hair-since-the-seventies-hair-and-now-it's-dead really finished the ensemble.

Still, I'm not sure if these people were the worst or if the man wearing red-white-blue striped (the Dutch flag) shorts that SPELLED OUT HIS ASS CRACK gets the medal. Seriously, I don't.

[miss_jane]

It was pretty horrific, especially since it stood out in the crowds of non-ironic 80's fashion, people head to toe in leather (on a roasting hot day) and people who's skin vaguely resembled the colours of the lounge.

[maimy]

Mornington, THAT is a mindpic and a half ... (Or maybe just one, splitting in half!)

Miss Jane, that may have to go in a CoF hall of fame of some sort.

[msgoofball]

yesterday, i was driving to the beauty supply when a pedestrian needed to cross in front of me. I let her and then proceeded to gasp in horror...imagine...a stickly over-tanned so that she's wrinkly, 50 something in wedges, short cuffed shorts (in white), a white tight tank top, and then big poofy grandma hair on top, new jersy style. complete with the huge sunglasses and funky purse. eww...cover up those wrinkle legs and funky wobble knees...bleh. the outfit would have looked great on a 21 year old.

[herculesgirl]

Miss Jane...what the HELL?!?!?!?!

[miss_jane]

I went to a metal festival weekend and dude, those are some bad fashion choices. I now hail metallers as CoF gods. There are too many to mention but this one stuck in my mind.

Girl, 16-18, probably a black vest top (de riguer) and she was wearing jeans but had obviously overheated and decided to turn them into shorts. Fine. But girl, if you're going to do that, don't cut them while still wearing them and then leave the leg parts on your legs. So tight they stay up. Leaving about 2 inches of flesh between the shorts and the bizarre denim thigh high legwarmers.

[citrussss]

I must work in the most fashion-clueless neighborhood. On my way in this morning, I saw a woman wearing a royal blue 80's ladies suit jacket style shirt complete with those gross oversized shoulder pads, matching dress shorts and a terrible blond teased-bang perm.

All I can ask is, What did my eyes ever do to her?

I laughed when I read mornington's post. All I can say is why???

[mornington]

they replicate like amoebas and bacteria... they just split in half once they reach a certain size.

I keep seeing this poster for Cliff Richard on the tube and all I can think is "mom jeans"

[tyger]

maimy, you made me snort! now, how would this work... they gestate in the mom-man jeans and pop out fully grown wearing their own?

[maimy]

The million dollar question is, who're they breeding with? ... Each other ... ?

[epinephrine]

my friend saw a man in mom jeans at his work the other day. they must be breeding. god help us.

[doodlebug]

I swear to god I saw a man wearing mom jeans today.

[brett]

large bald spot and a faded NSYNC t-shirt.

on a co-worker.

[mornington]

Camden, how do I love thee? People-watching this afternoon... older lady, dyed blonde hair and permatan (whyyyyyy do they do that? is it hormonal?) Didn't notice the trousers, suspect capri pants. No, what caught my eye was the heading-south breasts, contained in a strapless, padded, underwired bra. Over this was a jersey halterneck, but her bra didn't fit (it too was headed pavementward) and it was tucking into the top of her bra. It made her poor boobies look flatter and saggier than anything.

I was also amused by the young lady walking round in her bra, except she had her t-shirt over her head and one arm.

all I'm thinking when I read citrussss' post is "wtf? eh?"

[citrussss]

I just stepped out for lunch and walking down the street, what do I spy?

Middle aged woman dragging her heels down the street wearing an oversized white man's long sleeved polo shirt, a skinny grey full length skirt that was made out of men's dress pant sort of fabric with a full thigh high slit up the side. Thick black cotton leggings (the full length "dance-pants" kind) that were a size too big and bunching up around her knees. Brown suede sneakers and white soccer tube socks complete with red stripes at the top, all scrunched down around her ankles. Just gross.

On a happier note, when I walked back to the office I saw a woman wearing a shirt that said "I like good sax", with a little picture of a sax player.

[llamas]

I attended my sis-in-law's college graduation yesterday, and aside from the expected CoFs (gauchos, unflattering shrugs, etc.) I noticed a rather disturbing new trend--wearing blatantly formal, metallic and/or rhinestoned stilettos with otherwise fairly casual outfits. Yes, you may love your gold homecoming-dance shoes, but that doesn't mean you ought to wear them at noon with a cotton sundress.

[bklynhermit]

wait, mom #1 is wearing both jelly sandals AND cowboy boots? how's that?

and i have to say i can't think of anything more awful than wearing close toed shoes and socks on a day hot enough to go swimming.

[quietmadness]

MMM...

Yeah. So I'm waiting in the car for the boy-child to come out of the store with sun lotion. I'm taking him swimming.

And what do I spy?

Two obvious house-marms/soccer-moms coming out of their minivan with four children in tow. Everybody's holding hands, I'm guessing to insure their mutual "safety."

So Mom #1 has to weigh 250 pounds at about 6 feet tall, and she's got on a terry cloth sundress, red, with a STRAW COWBOY HAT, bangle earrings, square sunglasses, jelly sandals...and...I SWAR---

brown cowboy boots. worn out.

Mom #2 has on a RED terry cloth sundress, a pink baseball cap (complete with pony-tail pulled through) and...and...


black reeboks with black ankle socks. yeah...