[vixen_within]

Oh my god, what a couple of assholes, tankgirl.

What is wrong with people? Why is it so hard to find good roommates? Gawwwd. Anyway I feel your pain. My BF has suggested creating a wall of shame out of the parade of bums who've lived here (and future bums), just for the record, just for my personal amusement after they finally gtfo of my home.

So far I've learned to get references and, I'm sorry to say, I hesitate to rent to people who are more than 7 years younger than I am, cause it always ends in tears and mommy issues.

[tankgirl]

we wrote a couple emails back and forth. She denied the towel thing and said her mom found out her and her bf were living together and was pissed so she had to move out and they had no money to give us for rent or bills. I said gtfo now or pay rent for the whole month and they did. But not till after they washed their cat in our bathtub at 9PM? people are so weird and I am sick of them.

[erinjane]

That sucks you're out the money but at least they're gone. Did you kick them out or did they decide to fuck off after you sent the email?

[tankgirl]

so their out, we are down the 650 they owed us and we are looking for a new roommate. This fucking blows. But, we are very very very happy those assholes are gone. I hate having to depend on other people just to live. But, the truth is, this apartment is cheap enough that me and the boy will eventually be able to live here by ourselves once we get our feet completely on the ground. But, as of now we both still only work part time and that's not going to cut it. le sigh.

I never ended up doing anything even remotely cruel to them, and I may regret it. I think I just wanted to act like the adult, and maybe someday they will feel guilty for the way they acted. Plus, I believe in karma.

[thirtiesgirl]

Good e-mail, TG. It's to the point and no b.s., so I hope they get the message.

May I just say that I'm a big introvert and could never live with roommates. I've seen several friends live through it and don't know how they handled it.

An old boyfriend of mine, before we lived together, lived in a shared household and often found that the other people in the house ate his food, even though he labeled all his food in the fridge. The other housemates sometimes invited other people to stay, too, which the landlord didn't allow, but they got away with it because nobody reported them and the landlord never checked the property. One of them was a single Latina mom who moved in alone and took the biggest bedroom in the house, which had previously been rented by a couple. After she'd been living there for 2 months, her 2 teenage sons came to live with her on a temporary basis (or so she said). Her excuse was that they'd been living with their father in a different part of town where there was gang activity and she was afraid her sons would get involved.

Which was a laugh because it was obvious her sons were already gang affiliated. A few weeks after they moved in, gang tagging appeared on the front walk of the house, and on the pavement in the back yard. Every Friday night, their house became the party house, drawing a whole bunch of Latino gangstas and their girlfriends, all hanging out on the front porch or in the back, smoking pot and blasting raggaeton and Latino hip hop. Mom was out there with them, too, smoking her Mores and drinking a 40.

Unfortunately, my boyfriend at the time was fascinated by the gang activity, so he wasn't ready to move out, even though they were the ones eating his food, and the woman's older son physically menaced him on two separate occasions - once when my boyfriend confronted him about eating his food, and the other time just because he could. It took the boyfriend another few months to really get fed up with them, at which point we decided to move in together, and he got out of that potentially dangerous situation.

I also observed a girl friend who I worked with endure living with 3 other female co-workers for several years. The back stabbing, in-fighting, gossiping and boyfriend stealing that went on while she lived there was just insane, so she finally moved out on her own and was much happier. They did throw some great parties while she lived there, though.

[tankgirl]

I just wrote them an email. Here it is:


Listen, we haven't seen a whole lot of you guys recently, and there are some things that we need to discuss. We tried knocking on your door, but you didn't respond. I didn't want to resort to writing an email, but you guys have left us no choice.
#1 we need to get rent and bills from you.
#2 we found shit wiped all over our towel and washcloth. Neither of us did it and we haven't had anyone over the house, so there is only one answer to that. That is both disrespectful and disgusting. Just because we ran out of TP does not mean that it is okay to deface our personal property. You guys could just use napkins and paper towels like we have been until we get more.
#3 Your screen on your bedroom window is ripped out and broken, do you know anything about that?
We thought you guys were mature and were going to be good housemates until all of this has happened, and have no idea why you have decided to do this to us. We would like to think you guys could just talk to us if you had any issues instead of doing something like this. Today is the 7th and we need to pay rent and bills and we have only a couple of days until our bills are delinquent and the utility companies don't mess around with that sort of thing. The amount of the bills are posted on the refrigerator. We would like to talk to you in person, but any sort of response will do.
Thanks,
......

[tankgirl]

Thanks for the nasty suggestions AP, haha. To be honest though, I'm not sure I have it in me to be like that to them. I wish I could. The thing is, I don't know which one of them did it (they are a couple) and we are only assuming its the boy because he's generally an ass (sorta at least verbally abusive towards her and try's to pass it off as sarcasticness.) So, if it was him, I wouldn't want to take it out on her, because she seems like a really nice girl. If I knew it was him, I could probably have it in me to do some really mean shit to him. But if it WAS her, I don't think I'd know how to deal with it.

Anyway, yes, they are going to have to look for a new place to live. This sucks. We have been here 6 months and already had 3 sets of roommates. All of which have screwed us over in some way or another. The first one said she was going to move in the second month we were here, and for reasons beyond our control, even though we got the apartment all together, we ended up having to pay for the whole first month, all the utility deposits, and have to live here w/o water or electricity for the first 2 weeks. Then she gave us 2 weeks notice before she moved out because she found an apartment that was more expensive but better because it had land and she could talk to the trees or some shit. To top it all off, she left us with 2 months of unpaid bills, our water got shut off for a day because of it, and then had the balls to ask for her $200 deposit back.

Then we had a roommate that said he would take the place, had the cash on hand, then dropped the bomb that he had found another place and would be moving out a month later. We should have handed him his money back right then, but we decided we could catch up on some bills with that money so we let him stay... BIG mistake. He ended up not getting the apartment after we had found new roommates, but since we had 3 bedrooms, we said he could stay for another 15 days so he wouldn't be out on his ass. That proved to be a mistake as well since he lost his job, ate all our food, and had his low life friend sleep on our couch making the whole house uncomfortable for everyone. We ended up having to forcibly remove his friend, on my birthday because he tackled my boyfriend.

So now we have this couple, who seemed really nice, although a lot younger than us. I thought everything was going fine, except for the bills thing until now. The thing that has been getting me is that they order pizza every night instead of buying real (cheaper) food and paying their bills.

So, sorry for the book. But in conclusion, I just think I am too nice and maybe have become a pushover. I haven't had a roommate in 3-4 years (besides my boyfriend) but I have had PLENTY in the past, in college etc and don't ever remember having any bad luck like this. Maybe it is moving to a new city and not knowing anyone to room with. Dog, I can't wait till we can afford this place on our own.

[erinjane]

Even though they owe you money, I would give them notice and start looking for a new roommate. I can't imagine doing something like that to someone I lived with.

[Moonpieluv]

(((tankgirl)))

AP---hahahhhahhhahhaahhhhahhhaaa! I love your choice of words. brilliant. "dook tags" "skiddley diddleys"....hilarious.

[auralpoison]

I am REALLY pissed and need some advice. My boyfriend just went into the bathroom and discovered that one of our roommates wiped their ass with our only towel. We have done nothing wrong to merit this behavior, it anything at all COULD merit this behavior. We are out of toilet paper and have been all day. We have bought the last 7 packages of it, and it is way past their time to buy it, so it is not that. PLUS, they have 2 towels of their own in there and a washcloth plus we have a washing machine if it happened to be an accident. I. AM. LIVID.

My first instinct is to go in their room and wipe the floor with them, BUT they owe us for 2 months worth of bills, half of that we already covered for them, and rent. AND, we cannot afford to pay their way, even for a little bit, we only have enough money for our half of rent, bills and because we paid their half of a couple of bills, we have no food to eat while they spend every night getting take out food. I'm sorry if none of this makes sence, but I am so PISSED and don't know how to rationally deal with this.

They have no legal obligation to pay their bills or rent. We have no lease, all the bills are in our name... I don't even think their parents know they live here. I have never in my life been treated so badly by anyone and I have had a lot of roommates in my day.

I am SOOOO pissed off.

You're fucked. Since you have no legal leg on which to stand on, (And they KNOW that or they wouldn't be doing it.) there's not much you can do & they already owe you for monies paid. I say get subversive.

Resort to the dirty, unsavory tricks like those that have been foisted upon you. Bespoil their things. Spit in their food. Wipe all your mutual post-coital juices on their towels until they get crispy (Disinfect yo bits after). I say do every dirty, nasty thing you can think of. Fuck in their bed & leave them with the wetspot. Leave pubes in their soap. Leave "dook tags" in the bowl. Use their toothbrushes to do unspeakable things. DO IT! Get as nasty as you wanna get, they'll notice. It's not like they are gonna go to CSI & get DNA. And *they* don't have a leg to stand on as subletters.

If you can't stomach that, buy a box of choco pudding, mix it up & leave them some skiddley diddleys on their towels & whatever.

I let a friend stay with me once & she was GROSS. Once I started bespoiling her things, she started getting her shit together & found her own place. And she was NASTY! She'd leave days old pastries under her bed & was just generally unsanitary. Her draws were all over the place, she was just gross.

[tankgirl]

I am REALLY pissed and need some advice. My boyfriend just went into the bathroom and discovered that one of our roommates wiped their ass with our only towel. We have done nothing wrong to merit this behavior, it anything at all COULD merit this behavior. We are out of toilet paper and have been all day. We have bought the last 7 packages of it, and it is way past their time to buy it, so it is not that. PLUS, they have 2 towels of their own in there and a washcloth plus we have a washing machine if it happened to be an accident. I. AM. LIVID.

My first instinct is to go in their room and wipe the floor with them, BUT they owe us for 2 months worth of bills, half of that we already covered for them, and rent. AND, we cannot afford to pay their way, even for a little bit, we only have enough money for our half of rent, bills and because we paid their half of a couple of bills, we have no food to eat while they spend every night getting take out food. I'm sorry if none of this makes sence, but I am so PISSED and don't know how to rationally deal with this.

They have no legal obligation to pay their bills or rent. We have no lease, all the bills are in our name... I don't even think their parents know they live here. I have never in my life been treated so badly by anyone and I have had a lot of roommates in my day.

I am SOOOO pissed off.

[vixen_within]

My roommate is so fucking unclean. Last summer, while sitting on my bed, I could SMELL his room, with his door CLOSED. We've spoken about this..his solution to date is spray air freshener (yay! country peach flavoured stank!)

The thing is, he pays his rent on time and he's never here, and I've always been able to justify living next door to a moat, because of the quiet and privacy I have.

Walking by his room the past few weeks, (it's on the way to mine, unavoidable), I caught a whiff of that familiar stank. I snapped and have been planning my new happy life with my new future roommate, but I'm having trouble just giving him the boot. I have all the rights (it's under my lease), but I hate being the bad guy so much. I'll probably sleeze my way out of this, by sending him an email (we never see each other) about my ailing aunt needing a place to live. so weak, I know!

[ellievee]

thanks jan!
anyway, i don't know when i'm supposed to pick her up, she doesn't have a set discharge date yet. probably within the next week.
i think i'm definitely going with the boyfriend thing, that way i will be able to say "how long will you be here?" without actually saying it/being rude or making her feel like i don't want her there-because i do want to help her! because if she gets there and we haven't already discussed the time issue i can't just all of a sudden say "um...can you leave now?" because i know she feels lost and like she has no where to go, and i could never do that. but you're right, i do also have to do what's best for me.
thanks!

[i_am_jan]

ellievie. hello. When are you supposed to pick her up? If it's a long way away from now, just wait a bit before you say anything, she may find other means and cancel on you. In the meantime, you might think of a cool way to tell her that your boyfriend may not be so chill about the living arrangements...you have told him not to worry, your friend will not be there long, just a few weeks. that would bring up the issue of time if you need to have a discussion about it beforehand?

I feel so terrible for your friend, she must be feeling so bad. I don't blame you for wishing to help her out so bad. But you do seem to have a certain relationship with your S.o. which is already starting to develop and it sounds like you feel strongly it may upset the balance of that relationship? YOu have to be true to yourself, you deserve that. so good luck

[ellievee]

hopefully this qualifies as post-able in the "roommates" thread...

so, my best friend (we've been so close for over 6 years) called me yesterday from a psychiatric hospital. she's in her first year of college at an ivy league school and has been having trouble handling college-related drama (living away from her friends, her family expects too much of her, she doesn't know what she wants to do in life, etc). on top of all of this, she just got out of a serious relationship (not by her choice, though). i can relate to all of these feelings and how truly awful they feel, as well as i can relate to having severe depression, and would really like to help her out (plus i miss her dearly!)

well, she called asking me if she could live with me at my apartment for a while (she said she would get a job and help out, which i don't doubt at all) because she feels that her parents aren't supportive and living with them after being released from the hospital would be a bad idea. the only thing is, i'm in a serious but semi-new relationship with my boyfriend, and he lives with me in a one-bedroom apartment (it's big, but not huge). i talked to him about it and he sincerely said that it was okay, and i believe him. the only thing is, i don't want to be torn between my love for him and our new, developing relationship and my commitment to my best friend, who has always been there for me. i wouldn't mind if she stayed for a week or two, but there's no way i can live with her and him, it's too much! and there's no way she'll be able to afford her own place to live (and especially not so soon!) here. so, i told her "okay" and i'm going to pick her up when she is discharged. but now i'm sort-of regretting it. i was thinking maybe she could stay for a few weeks, and i could convince her to talk to her parents (which would be beneficial for her anyway, she needs them as a support system, and they're not unreasonable people) and then maybe she could go back to live with them. but i don't know how to do this! any ideas? also i'm worried about her coming here and me not being able to help her (because i have a hectic life as it is, on my own!) and feeling bad about it.

any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks a lot for listening ladies!

[i_am_jan]

fairietales: yeah, move the TV. It wouldn't be passive-aggressive. It wouldn't even be bitchy. You can't afford it, you can't afford it.

[avaadore]

As I type this I can hear my two roommate almost screaming at each other about the phone bill they share together. I was trying to sleep but there is no way it's happening until they stop. We live in a tiinnnyy apartment and I can practically hear when they breath heavy.
If it wasn't for the fact that I have to wake up at 4 am for school I wouldn't care, but I do. And they know this. And it really annoys me. AAAaagh!

[lananans]

faerietales - I definitely don't think moving the tv is uncalled for. I would do the exact same thing. Definitely.

[hellotampon]

My boyfriend and I's roommate moved out around a month ago (yaaaaaaaay!) but he's still annoying us all the way from freaking Maryland. He never notified the post office, apparently, because we're getting all his mail, including his W-2s and everything. And I guess he never told his dad and stepmother that he was moving because they came looking for him. Then he and our friend/his new roommate came back into town a few days ago and let themselves in while we weren't home to comb the house for more stuff he wanted but was too lazy to pack last time. When he left, we had a giant pile of garbage to clean up and shitty broken furniture to haul away. And while they were here, who knows what they saw now that we actually have privacy to leave things out.

[faerietails2]

Would it be a really bitch passive aggressive move to move my tv (currently in the living room along with all my dvds) into my bedroom? My fucking ex roommate moved out and got this woman to replace her, but she didn't make it clear that the bills she'd be responsible for are the cable and electric. So the new person said she wasn't going to pay the cable bill since she doesn't really watch tv.

She's been watching all afternoon.

Meanwhile, my other roommate and I have to split the bill and I'm too fucking poor right now to deal with this added bullshit. I got rid of all the extras, but it still comes out to over $35 each.

I don't mind if people watch my tv or my dvds. That's what it's there for. And I don't really want to put it in my room because I don't like having tv's in my room (I'll never get out of bed). But shit. WTF?!