[opheliathemuse]

plaidmoosetoes, from my experience, you only have to believe the person. Are they naturally a dominant person? A submissive? If you have a sub domming, it will seem off, of course. If you are naturally a dom, then it will feel strange to sub. For example, I only really like a few generalized roles, and not talking during coitus. It makes it more believable for me. It takes practice. If he can carry off verbal play, then fine.
It's all what feels right to you. Don't be afraid of your own fantasies, is what I suppose I'm saying. That way you can access what makes you feel good more quickly and build on it. Maybe you're expecting too much of yourself. Start smaller? Just with a spanking, or a bite?

[LoveMyPugs]

Ireie –


I am the sub in our relationship so I’m not going to be that much help to you. The people in this room have honestly been my mentors and support

big hugs to everyone in the Fun with Floggers Thread

Girltrouble –

Mr. Pug and I are young and we met even younger. We’ve been together since I was 14 and he was 16. I’m going to be 25 and Mr. Pug 27. When we first met we were infatuated with each other. After the first two years our sex life slowly went from twice a day to twice a week to twice a month. It was terrible. In the end when we did have sex it was the same sex, positions, routine every single time. I hated sex and I hated Mr. Pug for wanting it all the time. I thought that he thought of me as a series of holes he could just stick his dick in, someone to do his dishes and laundry and be his mommy. We went like this for eight years. We even went to couples therapy at one point. My therapist said that sex is like “going to the gym”, You don’t really want to get out of bed and go but once you are there and working out you are happy you got off your lazy ass and did it. I stopped going to her soon after that. When I would watch movies and read erotica and hear about men that had to “tame” their women I always got turned on. I would say to myself, if Mr. Pug wants it so bad why doesn’t he just take it. Occasionally he would get a little rough with me in bed it seemed to be mind blowing. One day we were sitting on the bed in our room talking about bills and I was fucking horny. I told him this and he said it’s about time. I told him that I was horny all the time and that I thought it was him. He said no that it is me. In all honesty it was me. I wanted more from him but I didn’t know what I wanted. Then I saw the movie The Secretary. The way that Edward Grey talks to Lee in the movie made me so excited. I literally thought about that movie for weeks. When we would have sex I would tell Mr. Pug to spank me and he’d do it once or twice but never with any real passion. I started talking on bust and reading posts and erotica posted here. Six weeks ago I finally told Mr. Pug that if he really wanted sex to just take it from me, even if I put up a fight. I thought that Mr. Pug was a confident man to begin with but after giving him permission to take me whenever he wanted I really saw a different kind of confidence/dominance come out of him. Him telling me to come over and suck his dick with a look in his eyes that let me know if didn’t I’d regret it. In the last eight years I bet we’ve had sex less then 200 times. Which if you figure that right is about three times a month. Many women want to tell you that this is “normal in long term relationships”. THIS IS A LIE!!!.

Ireie-

About a week ago Greenbean suggested a website called www.TakenInHand.com. This website is exactly what Mr. Pug and I were looking for that works FOR US! I owe Greenbean a hug, kiss, thank you card, gift card, dinner and anything else she wants. Most of BDSM was too hardcore for us. I just wanted some guidance in encouraging Mr. Pug’s to scold me in and out of the bedroom and show me through some maintenance discipline that he really cherishes me. For example, I’m always leaving the lights on and Mr. Pug hates this. So last night when I left the light on in hall Mr. Pug bent me over the dining room table and spanked me for about five minutes. My ass was hot and sore but I won’t forget about the lights anymore. Minutes after when I went upstairs I usually leave the bathroom light on and I didn’t without even thinking about it. We went to dinner at a friend’s house yesterday and the dinning room was packed with everyone trying to make up their plates. I made up a plate for Mr. Pug and myself and took it too him on the couch downstairs. When his friends saw me “waiting on him” they asked what was wrong with me cause I’m normally not like this. Mr. Pug just said plainly that I’m really kind at heart and like to do things like that for him and usually don’t cause I feel that my girlfriends will look down at me for being so submissive. My friends had no idea that this was how I was at heart. We’ve even told a few of our very close friends how we’ve changed things in our home and bedroom and they were shocked at first but very supportive if it’s what we like and works for us. As I said before we were having sex rarely. Now, LOL, if it were up to me we’d never leave our bed. My libido has skyrocketed and Mr. Pug uses this. He uses denial on me to get what he wants, (lol just like I used to use denial to get what I wanted from him). It makes me very hot and I work my ass off to make him happy. When I’m a good girl he rewards me with exceptional, mind-blowing sex, or he’ll make my favorite meal for dinner or take me out someplace special. This way FOR US is wonderful and everything we were looking for.

After discovering this about myself I felt weird. I felt like a bad woman. Like I was going against everything that women have worked hard for over the years. Everyone in the BDSM thread here on Bust has assured me that I’m still a good feminist. Mr. Pug has assured me that he still thinks I’m a very strong woman and he has nothing but respect for my opinion and always wants to hear what I have to say not matter if he agrees or not. He doesn’t want me to loose my identity. He loves me so much and tells me constantly.

As far as your situation, Ireie, I would check out bondage.com. They are good at taking both sides; woman sub, man sub, woman dom, man dom. They also have many good ideas and stories. Girltrouble is on the money, as she always is, when saying that you should look more deeply into the stories your man has given you. There is something in those that he wants and likes.

Last but not least, listen to everyone in this room. They know what they are talking about and always have good advice and support. Just read some of my old posts and see how they have helped me. My life has changed in the last two months and I’m a different person now. I’m happier and can’t imagine going back to my old boring sex days.

Good luck and have fun. If something doesn’t work out the way you want just laugh it off together and try something else later. I thought sex was going to be boring and routine for the rest of my life. It was depressing. But, now I know what sex was supposed to be like for Mr. Pugs and me. I owe everyone from the Bust Fun with Floggers room, Bondage.com and TakenInHand.com my happiness.

Sorry for the long post by the way. I guess I had a lot to say.