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> The Hip Momma: Ga-Ga-Oh-My-Gawd!!!
Bobumtome
post Nov 2 2010, 11:11 AM
Post #1


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From: Renton, WA USA


QUOTE(picklinqueen @ Oct 15 2010, 03:29 PM) *
all you hot rockin mamas out there: its been 18 months since the little guy showed up, and my libido is still totally awol. Been to the dr to make sure nothing wwrong with the mechanics: all's clear.
any tips/ideas/food recomendations? I want my mojo back!!!!


Hello Picklinqueen,

Here is a alternative solution to the lack of desire you are experiencing.

Try to get your hubby to share in your milk supply. I'm not saying to reduce your child's feeding, but to get hubby to spend a little time soft suckling.

I've found that breast suckling can provide you with relaxing (close to orgasmic) sensations that in the right enviroment can help to rev-up your sex-life. Additional fondling & foreplay (as you know) also helps to get your motor running.

I have been sharing my partners milk (on a as needed basis) for the past 15 years and in that time she has not had any breast lumps. However, the doctors are a little confused as to why there is so much milk in the mamogram x-rays... It's our little secret.

Back ground info:
After having a child your breasts are stimulated by hormones to go into full-on milk production.
When your child is growing your breasts then go into a as-needed milk production output. Then when there is no demand for milk, the breasts go dorment and produce & consume milk internally with the milk ducts sealed and shut down.

If suckling of the breasts is introduced, over time the breasts will (again) clear the milk-duct plugs and start milk production.

Good Luck and enjoy !!

Bob-um
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koffeewitch
post Oct 16 2010, 07:35 AM
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If you're breastfeeding, I'm afraid you might have a long road ahead of you...your body has a vested interest in continuing to make milk and prevent pregnancy. I'm not saying you're doomed to celebacy, but it does help to be patient with yourself/your body.

Whether you're breast or bottle feeding, it helps to have sex even when you're not very "into" the idea...I know it sounds weird to say that...but the more sex you have, the more sex you WANT to have. I guess this goes for senior citizens, too...doctors are saying you should keep having sex even when you don't feel so much like it, because it becomes a "use it or lose it" sort of thing. In the meantime, do some of the things that make you feel sexy...shave your legs or put on something cute or whatever makes you feel sexy. Goddess knows its hard to feel like you're in the mood wearing stained jammie bottoms and a maternity tank top (which BTW is exactly what I have on right now..I also have an 18 month old).


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picklinqueen
post Oct 15 2010, 03:29 PM
Post #3


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all you hot rockin mamas out there: its been 18 months since the little guy showed up, and my libido is still totally awol. Been to the dr to make sure nothing wwrong with the mechanics: all's clear.
any tips/ideas/food recomendations? I want my mojo back!!!!
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damona
post Oct 10 2010, 09:29 PM
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From: i'm the queen of far far away


QUOTE(koffeewitch @ Sep 11 2010, 04:19 PM) *
The few times I left him alone when our son was very little, I came home to my little toddler wandering through the house or WITH THE FRONT DOOR WIDE OPEN, while daddy was oblvious/asleep. Even though when I left, I had shouted, "OKAY...I AM LEAVING NOW. BE SURE TO GET UP WHEN THE KIDS WAKE UP". So yeah, I get a little ticked off too.


gee, that sounds familiar...

i've actually had to put an alarm on the little boys' bedroom door, since my youngest has this habit of wandering out of the house at, oh, 4 or 5am. the damn alarm is so loud that the first night we used it, it went off when he tried to sneak out at 5am and it scared me so bad that i was on my feet before my eyes were even open. i nearly pee'd myself, to be quite honest. so there i am, trying frantically to punch in a 4 digit code on an alarm that is blaring in my face, attached to their door above my head, in the dark, without my glasses. and 2 kids getting hysterical because it will not shut up. the other 2 kids and The Mr? slept right through the whole mess. thank the gods that my little monster has decided that he doesn't like the alarm going off either, so he very nicely taps at the door to have me get him out of his room in the morning. i feel bad that i have to do this, but it's much better than having to search the neighbourhood for my missing kid at 5am, imo. hopefully, we can stop using it soon.


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koffeewitch
post Sep 11 2010, 04:19 PM
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QUOTE(damona @ Sep 9 2010, 09:38 PM) *
The Mr fell asleep in the waiting room at the hospital, and i got to deal with all of it. i have to say, that ticked me off a wee bit. i mean, i know it was the middle of the night, but really. i hadn't slept but 2 hours in 2 days and i managed.


Girl, this is an on-goin situation at my house that has irritated me many times. Even after I went through natural child birth and was awake all night afterward with the new baby (and partly from being too pumped up and excited to sleep) and then going straight to a family emergency situation where I had to "sleep" only in an upright chair for the next 10 days (and with a new baby to care for)...I could do it somehow...I could go without sleeping, care for the new baby, live on next to no food, and be sitting/standing with no place to lie down because I HAD to...but my man broke down, got unreasonable/crabby, and fainted from exhaustion.

Then there is the issue that I will ALWAYS hear if the kids wake up and need me in the night/whenever and often their dad could sleep through a parade. The few times I left him alone when our son was very little, I came home to my little toddler wandering through the house or WITH THE FRONT DOOR WIDE OPEN, while daddy was oblvious/asleep. Even though when I left, I had shouted, "OKAY...I AM LEAVING NOW. BE SURE TO GET UP WHEN THE KIDS WAKE UP". So yeah, I get a little ticked off too.


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damona
post Sep 9 2010, 08:38 PM
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QUOTE(koffeewitch @ Sep 1 2010, 08:48 PM) *
. As we mamas are isolated in the house so often... I can't believe how isolated I've gotten compared to my wild and carefree 20s...


oh, mama, you said it. i go stark, staring mad around here sometimes. i'm lucky that there are some nice ladies in the complex, but only one or 2 of them are really friends, and, at that, they're the kind of friends you chat with in the yard, maybe invite over with their kids, but not exactly my best friends ever. during winter, tho, once the snow starts, you never see anyone around here until the thaw. its weird.

my youngest has croup. had to take him to the e.r. last night. he woke up at midnight and was coughing and wheezing and choking... he started turning blue around the mouth. scared the hell out of me. The Mr fell asleep in the waiting room at the hospital, and i got to deal with all of it. i have to say, that ticked me off a wee bit. i mean, i know it was the middle of the night, but really. i hadn't slept but 2 hours in 2 days and i managed. anyway, little w is on steroids and will, hopefully, be better soon.


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"give me life, give me pain, give me myself again" - tori amos
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koffeewitch
post Sep 1 2010, 08:48 PM
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*sigh* He's still chanting his little word mantras at times, though the "chanting sessions" seem to be getting a lot shorter. He's acting out a bit more too, but more in the way that he's looking for limits and reassurance. He seems focused on what will happen when he acts out and if he's still a "good kid" if he sometimes does naughty things.

I just met an amazing woman in my apartment complex who I have so many things in common with...she also homeschools her kids, raises them veg, breastfeeds...and she and her husband did an unassisted homebirth for their 4th child, which I think is amazing and empowering (though def. not the right path for everybody). As we mamas are isolated in the house so often, I'm super excited my kids can have nice kids to play with and I can have a cool, feminist, book-worm mama to talk to. Having a friend to share things with, really does give you more strength and energy to deal with your day and I haven't had any women friends who live near me in a very long time. I can't believe how isolated I've gotten compared to my wild and carefree 20s...


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damona
post Sep 1 2010, 09:21 AM
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(((((koffee))))) how's it going with your little mannie?

*sings* *dances* it's the first day of schooooooooollllll! while i adore my children, it has been an incredibly long and chaotic summer and i was so glad to see the buses pull up this morning.

speaking of which: there's nothing like organization, and that was nothing like it! sheer craziness. there were about 20 kids waiting for the buses out there, in the chilly drizzle we had going on. we got out there at 7:40am, the boy's bus was supposed to be there at 7:45. at 7:50, the first bus pulled up, saying that he was going to both elementary schools, and the middle school. but. none of the kids except the 6 going to one elementary were on his list. much confusion ensued. the second bus pulled up, also saying that she was going the same schools, but she had a list of kids that live on the next block, and none of our kids. the 3rd bus was finally the right one. oy vey. however, i still have one kid who is supposed to ride the little bus, as per his IEP. i called that company and was told that his bus had been there at 7:25am. nobody had told me this. at all. nothing. so now i have an overexcited, upset second grader, who has autism, dancing around and yelling at me. and we're still standing in the rain. it's probably a good thing that there wasn't another bus, because i would have been tempted to throw myself under it rolleyes.gif ended up with The Mr driving him to school, still yelling about how it's all screwed up and worried that nothing is going right. i hope his day improved once he got there!

Dai, my oldest is in 6th grade (6th grade!), and he's on the cross-country team. practice is 4x a week, and meets once a week, so picking him up after school every day is going to be fun, but i'm glad he went out for something. he's also playing cello for the 3rd year, and he was mumbling something about a drawing club this morning. so glad he's actually involved in stuff by his own choosing!

my baby started kindergarten this morning *sniff* so hard to believe, he's nearly 6. he was so excited and he looked so teeny, standing there holding Dai's hand, waiting for the bus. i swear, his backpack was nearly bigger than he is. i can't wait to hear how his first day goes!

and little z is officially enrolled in homeschool now. i'm doing the "unschooling" thing, kind of letting him pick what subjects and so on. i figure we'll hit the library a couple times a week, do math by having him shop and cook with me, science can be nature walks and then looking up what we see online to learn about it, etc. we have fairly lax homeschooling rules in my state, so i can do it my way, the way that works for him, without having someone breathing down my neck about it. we'll see how it goes. if it's not going well, i can always enroll him back in regular school at the semester. i think we'll muddle along ok for this year, tho.

it's so quiet right now!


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"give me life, give me pain, give me myself again" - tori amos
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koffeewitch
post Aug 30 2010, 09:00 AM
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I think that is fantastic advice, damona...you've managed to find just the right words and tone that I've been looking for to bring up the issue in a gentle/non-threatening manner.


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damona
post Aug 29 2010, 02:55 PM
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From: i'm the queen of far far away


koffee, i would say to just give him as much love and attention as you can. i would also keep him away from the grandparents as much as possible for awhile. if he's really doing it a lot i would ask him about it gently. like if he's repeating a word over and over just kinda say "hey, buddy, i noticed that you keep saying this word. do you like how it sounds? does it make you feel good to say it over and over?" i wouldn't medicate him or anything, even bach's, unless he has trouble sleeping. i understand that this concerns you, especially given your background, but in my experience, little kids are pretty good at working these kinds of things out themselves, as long as they're removed from whatever influence was setting them off. i would just let him do his thing and keep an eye on him. *hugs* mama, it's tough, i know.


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"give me life, give me pain, give me myself again" - tori amos
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koffeewitch
post Aug 29 2010, 01:02 PM
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Hey mamas, I'm having a problem with my older son (he just turned 7 this month) and I'm really worried about him. He is suddenly displaying all this OCD behavior, sometimes on a constant basis. He repeats certain words continually, like a mantra. This all started after he spent a month with his grandparents (his dad's parents, not mine). I don't like my kids to be with the grandparents for long periods of time because they bicker and fight on a non-stop daily basis. I hate going to their house because all the accusive, passive-aggressive, insidious, back-biting spats that go on between them...and of course, they sometimes take their issues out on innocent bystanders, too. My MIL had kindly bought Ryan a months worth of swimming lessons for a b-day present, so she would pick him up in the morning, but then, instead of bringing him right home, she would keep him all day. I complained about this, telling her I needed him home for our homeschooling schedule, but she sort of blew me off. THEN, my partner/Ryan's dad got sick and had to be hospitalized (Crohn's disease). I started spending all day in the hospital, so my MIL had an "excuse" to keep Ryan at her house.

Now that Daddy is back at home and swim lessons are over, I feel like my son has been damaged during that time spent with his grandparents. He is fearful and anxious now, instead of his usual super-extroverted, happy-go-lucky self. I haven't pointed out his OCD behaviors to him...I don't want him to feel like he is doing something bad, and I'm worried that if he sees that he can't control his repetative behavior he may really freak out and get even more anxious. I, too, had nervous ticks, etc. when I was a kid, but I was being sexually molested for years on top of being afraid of my father's horrible temper. It hurts me terribly to see my own child show these same symptoms that indicate he has too much stress in his life. I am slowly trying things like lots of positive reinforcement, yoga, guided meditations, art therapy, etc. If nothing improves in the next few weeks, I may contact a professional for counseling. I really don't want a counsellor who will just want to medicate him, when I can see an obvious enviromental cause for his anxiety. I've even considered trying Bach's remedies even if it just gives him a placebo effect. Does anyone have any suggestion/input on this? Sorry to drop this on you guys, it's some pretty heavy shit, but it is really tearing me up to see him this way.


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archegonia
post Aug 18 2010, 08:21 AM
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a lot of kids go through some heavy stuff when they start pulling themselves up on things. their whole world expands vertically. like adding another dimension and its suspected that they get a lot of nightmares or even trippy dreams at this time. so maybe its just a phase as he goes through this, he needs some grounding in the night. i know that doesn't help you get sleep but maybe thinking its just a short time will make it more bearable.

thanks for the book recommendation. i'll check it out. my 2.5 year old is doing really well, not crying just chilling 'til he falls asleep. my 1 year old diva is not giving up the fight. lol, sigh.


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julie124
post Aug 16 2010, 11:56 PM
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archegonia, yikes! That sounds tough. I am currently dealing with my own child sleep issues (8.5-month-old Henry is basically waking up every two hours at night and insists on nursing almost every time...) so I don't know that I'm a good one for advice, but I can recommend the book I've been using to help me, The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. They have some good stuff in there for transitioning kids from cosleeping that might be helpful for you.

And in that vein...any ideas for helping me break the boob addiction? I mean, I'm planning to nurse at least until he's a year, so I'm not trying to give up nursing altogether, I just want to get maybe four hours of sleep in a row again and give my nipples a break. I used to be able to do some quick comforting and he would go back to sleep...now a lot of times when he wakes up he writhes around and won't be comforted by anything but the boob. He does have a lot of stuff going on....he's on solids part of the time now, is pulling up on things, and just got two more teeth...so maybe it's partly a developmental thing? I don't know, I got nothin'. Oh, and I already decided I'm not a cry-it-out kind of gal, which of course complicates things.
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archegonia
post Aug 16 2010, 08:07 PM
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so i slept with both of my children. my parents generation thinks its the worst thing you can do. i chose to because i had read a lot about it. in countries where they sleep with there children they have never even heard of SIDS. so i was in. i discovered with my first that a year is too late to expect them to transition smoothly to the crib and swore that with my second i'd transition her at 6 months. well when she was 6 months i was basically homeless from my divorce and staying with the (generous and loving) family of a friend.

its been a turbulent year and my 2.5 year old has regressed from the bedtime routine we finally laid out. my one year old is a force to be reckoned with and does not like sleeping without mamma at all. so i lie between the two of them in a kick ass car bed every night and it takes forever. then they're up all night.

so i decided to commit to 4 days of letting them 'cry it out'. the most unintuitive, unnatural thing to do. EVER. if they dont chill out after 4 days i'll change it all. but to what? i cannot do what i was doing. and if these 4 nights of hell dont yield something less hellish then....

any advice?
a


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pepper
post Aug 16 2010, 03:49 PM
Post #15







I tried, little would not stop whining, ye gads it was hellerish. There's a lot of support out there if you do want to give it a go though. Wish I could do it with both of mine, I am dismayed regularly with the scene at public school. It's unbelievable sometimes.
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damona
post Aug 15 2010, 03:07 PM
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From: i'm the queen of far far away


i've been taking little w to the chiropractor for about a month now, twice a week, and he seems to be doing a bit better. he's only waking up about once a week with the leg pain. trust me, that is a huge improvement.

sageykins, i haven't taken little w to a pt yet, because we're on the state insurance and i have to get a referral, but i talked to the ped and she said after the appt at childrens, if they don't do anything, she'll send him for an eval. i also talked to my older sons' pt and she said she'll be happy to make room for little w in her schedule as soon as i can get him in there.

i am so ready for school to start. so tired of kids drooping around the house, bored and whiny. we've been so utterly broke this summer, we haven't done anything fun. it sucks.

anyone around here given any thought to homeschooling? i'm keeping little z home this year, at least for the first semester, to see if i can't bump up his reading and simple math skills. he's going into third grade and he can barely read or do basic math. he's had quite a few bumps in his school path, and he all but begged me to keep him home this year.


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"give me life, give me pain, give me myself again" - tori amos
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sageykins
post Aug 8 2010, 09:54 AM
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damona
Have you seen a physical therapist? Or an orthopedic doctor? I am a little late in my comment here but there could be a lot of muscle weakness or an orthopedic issue that coule be resolved with therapy.
Just a thought!
If your state has direct access you can see a PT without a doctor referral for I think 6 visits. This way it could be diagnosed by the PT and treatment started and then the doctor could follow up....
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pepper
post Jul 10 2010, 10:14 PM
Post #18







I know, right? The ped. ortho. we saw brushed it off too but hello, night pains in his legs that wake the whole darn house up for Years now Can't be right. We have another appointment, I better get some help with this or doc is getting an earful from me this time round.
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damona
post Jul 9 2010, 12:40 AM
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quick update on little w (i'm way tired)

i took him to the ortho, who watched him walk and poked and prodded and had all the charm of a dead fish, and he said "i don't see anything wrong there." i pointed out that the kids achilles tendon practically zig zags b/c he is walking on his inner ankle bones and he said "little kids do that." the only thing he did was get him an appt. at childrens hospital, in the city, to see the pediatric rheumatologist (sp? can't get it right.) not even the pediatric ortho. ugh.

i rarely presume that i know that much more than the highly paid professionals *cough* but in this instance, i'm pretty sure he's just a wee bit wrong.

i also took little w to the chiropractor that i've been going to for nearly 7 years, on the recc. of his pediatrician, and the chiropractor was horrified that the ortho had waved it off.

the drama continues... *sigh*


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"give me life, give me pain, give me myself again" - tori amos
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pepper
post Jul 6 2010, 10:24 AM
Post #20







Little girl here is 3 now but I still get asked for boobeh now and then, I'm still producing a teensy bit of milk so why not eh? No biggie to me and she loves to feel like I'm still really there for her baby self. I stopped regular nursing maybe 5 or 6 months ago now. The little man went to 3.5 and would have gone on longer but frankly, I was exhausted and I put a stop to it entirely. I look back now on that tiny investment of time and think, what is the big deal? I don't know why people make such an issue of it. You'd think ear infections etc would be more of a hassle and more work than whipping out a boob! My kiddies were so healthy the whole time they nursed, afterwards too of course but while others were suffering with every germ they caught mine were sniffly for 2 days on average if at all.

Medicine chest. I gots one.
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