[greenbean]

Oh boy, tyger, good luck!
All I can say is that if you make a mistake (and you will!) just apologize and make it up to your patron. People really get pissed if something goes wrong and they feel like you dont care. Also, always check on each table even if they look like everything is fine. When I started serving I felt like if my patrons looked content, I didnt want to bother them,...but I was wrong because I would get complaints that once I brought the order I never checked back to make sure they were satisified. I assumed they would just wave to me if they needed something but for the most part, people dont want to have to do that.
People will be jerks to you but you just have to grin and bear it, and save your anger for ranting on this board!

Speaking of rants....! Do you ever get those snobby patrons that like to test you? Last night a patron asked me what "maduros" meant, as he pointed to "platanos maduros" on the menu. I said it meant "sweet", and he said, "no it means ripe, but that was close!" !!! Can you believe that jerk! He was friggin testing me! grrrr.

[doxy]

tyger, my second post (the long one) had nothing to do with you. I wasn't covering my own ass with my second post, I just thought about it at work that night and decided I wouldn't have the right amount of time...hell, my entire theory of tipping could seriously be my thesis in regards to my graduate school program in hospitality/tourism with UNO. I don't "agree" with the social norm, I was simply stating that's what it was.
I did switch my post from being one that would cause you to understand to tip, this is true, but it wasn't to cover my own ass. It's because I don't agree with the social norm that I do make sure my tips are warranted. The pre-emptive covering my ass was because of how much more harsh text is to read and so I wanted to have a healthy discussion without getting anyone thinking they need to be on the defensive. I guess I should apologize then? Fine, I shouldn't have posted the first post...I was just excited to discuss something that has been bothering me for a decade now.

Back to you not changing your mind: Don't. Because this giving and receiving of tips is a two way street. You don't want to tip then go to a cafeteria or Wendy's...but don't come into my restaurant and order Cos de Estournel St. Estephe on your anniversary, because just like you wouldn't want to tip for the $200 bottle I won't want to serve it to someone who isn't happy that indeed I do know the grapes involved and which side of the river in Bordeaux it's from, regardless whether I have the label facing you while I open it or not. It isn't the server's fault restaurant owners know the typical percentages of tips that are given thus pay a shit rate because said tips will make up for it, legally. My post was intended to place hope that those(us) who do work for tips will do their part to make those who do tip feel as if it is at least warranted. Because at the end of the day...no one can go to a bar and make their own drink, and no one can go to a restaurant and make their own meal. They get to the bar knowing the person behind the bar has what they want, even if what they want can be found at home, they go to the bar to be part of the scene that everyone else is in at the bar and to walk around the bar with drinks...being social. They go to the restaurant because they like to be amongst other peers and people, together, while they have their meal. It's social, we're human beings and we're social, whether we like it or not. Tipping has become our (American) social norm, whether we like it or not. You don't like it and so you can eat and drink at home (I'm not being harsh) but you won't like it because you'll be alone while your friends are out agreeing the endive salad was a little bland and that the blueberry chantal sauce was such the compliment to the roast duck...that creme brulee is as close to heaven as it gets (even though I prefer chocolate). We went out on the town, we ate food we hadn't prepared, we used dishes we didn't have to wash, we moved around in a social setting, just pampering ourselves...and then tipping those that sacrificed their own social desires to make sure ours were quelled. Yes, the main reason for tipping is because it's the social norm, but the original reason for tipping was, after all, gratification. And so here we are.
I don't smoke that much pot anymore, but me thinks you need to enjoy a puff or two of some marijuana cigarettes, tyger...it'll help you relax...maybe it'll even help you feel a little bit more at ease the next time you've got to accept that next tip?