[p_176]

pepper - thanks. there is more than one reason i have been thinking the fiance needs to move out (he was not supposed to move in the first place, but then life happened and he stayed....i should have kept up the boundaries a bit more than i did - right now it just seems like we are together because he was helping iwht renovations, and needed a place to stay...instead of being together 'cause we are wild about each other).
as for the contractor, i have no idea how he feels - i think he might be interested but was holding back....at the very least, he's a cool guy with seemingly common interests (music, food for example).
we'll see.....i know i need to deal with the fiance before dealing with anything else:-)

[mel]

It's possible that he was not backing away, but there were other cues besides this one conversation. I should clarify I didn't word my email to him in a snide or angry tone the way my post implied. I stressed that I really like him and am still open for things to go in either direction but that he shouldn't keep in touch out of a sense of obligation. I think he is a nice guy but his feelings for me are lukewarm at best. I am very rejection averse right now and need to only go out with people who are as eager to see me as I am to see them. You may be right though. My loss if so.

[katiebelle2882]

mel,

not to make you feel worse but, you probably did completely the wrong thing and jumped the gun. i could be wrong, but i feel like you overreacted entirely, and possibly just cost yourself a nice guy. whatever, others will always come along.

[mel]

My crush called one more time, but it was the weirdest thing--10pm on a Friday and not for a booty call, just to say hello and discuss his week from hell and why he hadn't called. He then suggested we get together for LUNCH next week. If anyone out there does not view this as the polite prelude to a dumping, please set me straight.

I had already made peace with the fact that the crush wasn't interested, so the call Friday night really pissed me off. I emailed him bright and early the next morning and suggested we might be better off as friends before he could say it to me first. By mid-day, the gesture seemed petty and very highschool. Of course he never replied. For the rest of this weekend, when I wasn't keeping as busy as possible, I was fixating on whether it was the right or wrong thing to do...like it could possibly matter one way another!

I like most everything about myself except for the way I let guys affect me. I have the greatest respect for the women that don't allow men's interest in them to be their final measure of self worth. If I were ever to have a daughter I would have to find her a role model like this since I'm afraid I wouldn't know how to pass on that trait.

I'm venting here to let off some of the anger and frustration of the day and so I don't do anything stupid like write another fucking email to a guy!!!

Thanks for allowing me to vent.

[pepper]

are you ready to throw over the man you planned to marry for a crush on a stranger? if you are i think you've answered your own question about what to do regarding your engagement at least. as for the contractor, honesty is the best policy. would you leave the fiance if the contractor wasn't in the picture? if he's not interested?

[p_176]

;et's pretend that hpv is not an issue...what should i do about my fiance that i'm not thrilled with right now? how can i gracefully ask out the contractor, who knows about the guy....i don't want the contractor to think i am a 'leapfrogger' and won't take me seriously.

[pepper]

i caught it from making it with a dude in the park when i was 16. classic case, took 6 months to show up (waited until i had just started seeing someone and had to fess, nice one eh?) and the treatment was long and painful. now, nearly 20 years later it's never come back (touch wood, heh heh) and i have no idea what kind i even had. how do find that kinda thing out so many years later? is there a blood test or something? and am i unwittingly passing this shit on to all of my partners, who are unwittingly passing it on, and on, and on, and on? that would be a freaking drag. i always just thought i had one that was cureable and has been gone since the treatment.

[katiebelle2882]

yeah AP tons of people have it. However, much of the time you dont get an outbreak, or you don't notice it, and you get one and then never see it again. at this point, with that new vacination coming out, i would recommend getting the HPV cervical cancer one, bc that is the only kind of HPV that is harmful to health. The other, like i said, can be gross, but dont do anything to you whatsoever in terms of actual health effects. and, again, sometimes you dont even see it.

[auralpoison]

He noticed the weird dimple in my cheek. In ten years nobody has noticed it nor mentioned something about said dimple. This was in LOW lighting, ya'll. He also assured me that someday we'd take a nap together. I dunno what that means, but I ain't gonna complain.

Sorry, Mel. Like I said, they are retarded. Thankfully they're also like cross town buses. You miss one & another will be along in ten/fifteen minutes or so.

[mel]

My crush was a bust (and not in the good way). It was the classic three date, 4 phone call catch and release program. It's a formula. Then nothing for almost a week and now weekend unbooked (just tired, not waiting on the phone).

Fairly certain I won't be hearing from him again. To anyone who like me persists in letting hand-holding and arm around your shoulder in public appear as a sign of impending commitment...don't. It's just like pissing on territory. They don't think twice about it unless it's tallying potential bedroom points. So, guess I'll be back around next crush a bit the wiser.

[auralpoison]

Holy shit! 80%? I've never even had a yeast infection & I've been sexually active for fifteen years or so. I had no idea the stats were that high. I'ma be all paranoid now.

[katiebelle2882]

80% of sexually active people have HPV. most dont know it. take precautions and treat outbreaks, use a condom. i know it doesnt totally prevent it but chances are, he has it too. also, while its gross and a sexually transmitted disease, it has no health effects for men whatsoever.

[p_176]

i'm totally crushing on my contractor....but i'm living with my fiance (we got engaged,but have postponed the wedding....i'm not too happy right now and am considering moving on)....the catch is a)he knows about the fiance, and b)i have hpv.
what to do? any advice please?

[katiebelle2882]

oh god natulik....i was there with you not too long ago. man i feel for you TRUST me.

[natulik]

I'm definitely in love with the work crush M-boy.

It's really bad. It's not even a high-school style little lust problem, I could deal with that... But I feel like I'm attached to the guy on an emotional level, despite not even knowing each other that well.

It's as if we're keeping a certain distance from each other knowing that a lot of would happen if we didn't. Very. Frustrating.

I had a dream about him last night. It went something like this: I'm in a room, doing something on my laptop, and I overhear a conversation next door between M-crush and my other co-worker. The other co-worker tells him that I love him. More specifically, that I told her I'd get jealous if he started seeing someone else. I don't hear his reaction.
He comes in, and it's very obvious that I've overheard them. We just sit around and talk, without mentioning it. Eventually leads to making out, can't keep our hands off each other, etc. It doesn't really lead anywhere, because we both have to leave. Somehow end up at my friend's house, acting all cute and couple-like, and it all just feels so right and happy and in love.

I haven't woken up in such an amazingly elated mood in a very very long time. I used to have the same dreams about a long-distance relationship I was having, and they'd also put me in this absolutely joyful morning state.

*sigh*

This is bad. This is really really bad.

[erinjane]

Newbie to this thread.
I have a crush. This is a big deal because it's my first crush since my ex and I broke up almost 10 months ago.

I've been interested in a couple of people, but it's been all about sex, but this time I'm not thinking about sex at all (well, maybe a little), but a relationship.

I like that I'm finally interested in someone in a real way, but I hate how anxious and bitchy I get with everyone because all I want is to ask said person out.

Anyways, I would like to ask him out but I've only met him in person once, and talk to him online a couple of times. We'll see how things look in a week or two.

[pepper]

oh, i have it BaD for a fella that my girl says is bad news. it sounds like hearsay but, but buttttt argh! do i give him a chance to prove her right or not? dang it all, i never crush, what the f is up with me? must be spring fever. it's a sickness, it'll pass right?

[misspissed]

good lordisa, do i ever hate having a crush, and one on a "shy boy" at that.

why, tell me WHY? do i put up with any of this?

[auralpoison]

Yup. Poor bastard has the AP fever bad. The man is thirty years old. Do they ever get over this retarded junior high bullshit? He acted like *such* a pussy on Saturday. He was all bitter to me because I wasn't paying enough attention to him. I suppose if I really wanted it from him I would stop fucking with his head for the sheer entertainment value. Somehow it seems much more fun than coitus 'cause it takes less work.

Some guys are just not phone guys. I have a friend that when we're face to face cannot shut the fuck up to save his life. Put a phone in his hand & suddenly he's Marcel Marceau. Retarded!

[katiebelle2882]

AP,
He's still acting like a baby?

And mel....if thats the only reason then who cares what they say! mostly bc its probably an old fashioned judgement and elitist. i wish you luck!