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> is it called a crush because that's what it does to you?
Lily_Anne
post Feb 5 2010, 09:23 PM
Post #61


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Stargazer - "Daycare dude"! That is going to be his name now, ha.
Futura - the thing is, he's not a dad and I've never seen him interact with the three-year-olds in his classroom!

The story about daycare dude: I just started a job teaching at a daycare/preschool. <--the politically correct term these days is "child care center." We are coworkers but are in different rooms and don't see each other. We're both in our twenties, and with a few exceptions the other people at work are 40-60. It's a building full of women, children, and one man. I'm simply fascinated.

I do a lot of listening because I'm learning the ropes and new. Daycare dude apparently did something heroic recently, and all the other teachers were talking about him in a mother-hen fashion. They think he is wonderful and worry about him when he is not around. It's old-fashioned of me to notice, but he wears a ring that indicates one of three things, that

(1) he's taken,
(2) he was once married but isn't over it, or
(3) he never married, and it's there as a deterrent.

I don't actually believe (3), but I put it up there because I use (3) in some situations. Example: working as a waitress. Society seems to think waitresses are around solely as objects of flirtation. Nice restaurant, too, no Hooters or anything. From the way people talk, it seems (2) is what's going on. Hm.
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stargazer
post Feb 5 2010, 07:43 PM
Post #62


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Ah, yes, FILFs (Fathers I'd like to Fuck). I commented to crazyoldcatlady on a vacay that I found hot men who were involved and caring fathers really attractive.

Ditto on what futura said, Lily Anne, are you able to chat with daycare dude?


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"I'm not impressed easily. Wow! A blue car!"-Homer Simpson
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futura
post Feb 5 2010, 02:55 PM
Post #63


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Hear hear Lily Anne. I dated (wel, if you can call it dating. We had a good time, but it was mainly for sex) a guy and he's a dad. I thought it was hot, you know, banging a dad (not solely for that purpose, mind you! He's attractive and the way he talked about his kids..i respected that very much. I don't even want kids myself) I can't believe i'm typing this, but what the hey.
FYI, i also bedded a guy who has a kid, but it turned out to be a mistake. He was very nice and thoughtful, but i hated everything he did. There's a Seinfeld episode ( i think it's The Suit) where Elaine says the very same thing i felt when i was with this guy.

Soo.. Lily Anne, are you going to ask him out?


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"It was when I found out I could make mistakes that I knew I was on to something"- Ornette Coleman
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Lily_Anne
post Feb 4 2010, 10:44 PM
Post #64


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Sweet guy who works at a daycare! There's just something about a man who's not only good with kids but deliberately chooses to be around them...the evolutionary psychologists would be all over that, but really it's true.
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futura
post Feb 1 2010, 12:20 PM
Post #65


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This weekend i made out with a guy. He's the brother of a friend of mine. I went to this party and somehow we started talking. I was in a conversation with a friend of mine and he kept butting in. So i said 'Oi, what's your problem? You got something to say? Say it!" This guy is very 'street', so funny. He has this huge tattoo. At some point we went outside to try out the little kids' slide in the backyard. And then we started kissing.

He's living with his mom right now, because of relationship problems. Yeah. I know. I kept asking about it when he wanted to kiss me.

I'm not going to contact him. We texted a bit yesterday, but he needs to figure out what he wants to do, relationship-wise.

And we're deliciously incompatible.


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"It was when I found out I could make mistakes that I knew I was on to something"- Ornette Coleman
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odysseylily
post Jan 23 2010, 11:18 PM
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Awesome. I've got some things to deal with before I'm going to want to date, but this dude is sweet and I definitely have a crush on him . . .
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Persiflager
post Jan 23 2010, 10:48 PM
Post #67


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It sounds like he mentioned asking out women deliberately - you're probably not the first person to get the wrong impression! I think you should take his word for it.

The three or four campest men I know are all flamboyantly straight.


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“Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.”
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odysseylily
post Jan 22 2010, 07:46 PM
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Thanks AP! I'm pretty excited to see how this all plays out.

I guess I might be a bit oversensitive to the gay thing because my ex-fiance dumped me right before Christmas cause he was gay. I don't know if he really was (he changed his mind again 2 weeks later) but the damage was done and I'm already a bit paranoid about ANY guy I date potentially being gay. The wonderful world of love. rolleyes.gif
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auralpoison
post Jan 22 2010, 06:31 PM
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I swear there was an article on Jezebel or something about this last week. Dame meets a fella, they hit it off, they meet for what she thinks is a friendly beverage with a new gay friend & instead it's a date.

My gaydar is almost 100% foolproof, but about six months ago a guy slipped right under it. He was handsome, well dressed, well groomed & well spoken. We were gabbing like old girlfriends in no time. At one point he said something or other & I almost pulled a face I was so surprised to find that he was indeed a practicing heterosexual. Turned out he was just a fellow Sagittarius! wink.gif

I felt ashamed of myself for being a muttonheaded breeder & subscribing to ridiculous psycho-sexual profiling.


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"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
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odysseylily
post Jan 22 2010, 02:21 PM
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thanks zoya smile.gif
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zoya
post Jan 22 2010, 09:45 AM
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odyssey - I was convinced that a friend of a friend of mine was gay - so much so that I would sit around gabbing with him about movies, girlie drinks, show him jewelry I'd just bought (in a girlie kind of way) etc.. I think that I even half jokingly said to him once that my love life had gotten so bad that my friends were now trying to set me up with their friends, and we laughed..

.... then a short time later, in passing in conversation, he mentioned how he'd been married when he was really young, and then something about his last girlfriend. I wanted a hole to open in the ground and to just fall right into it. He was not only not gay, but WAY hetero. whoops.

so, yeah, just cause a guy gives off major gay vibes, doesn't always mean he's gay.
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odysseylily
post Jan 22 2010, 12:54 AM
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Well, I'm feeling a lot better about my love life or lack thereof. And I hope everyone else is too. ((((Busties))))

That said, I've got a question for y'all:

There is a mental health support group that I go to and I met a really hot guy there. He gave off major gay vibes so I just thought to myself, "huh, too bad, whatever." We were talking later and really hit it off and he mentioned that it is really hard to begin relationships because he can't make a move on a woman unless he knows her quite well. I was completely shocked because I had totally assumed he was gay. We ended up exchanging contact info and I asked a friend who was there what she thought, and she thought he gave off major gay vibes as well. So WTF? Any chance he's straight? Should I even go there? What are your thoughts?

I am addicted to this forum. huh.gif
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odysseylily
post Jan 19 2010, 11:34 PM
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"They're either assholes or way too sweet and will never like me. I might cry."
((((12_percent))))
I feel exactly - EXACTLY- the same way right now. sad.gif
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twelve_percent
post Jan 18 2010, 04:00 AM
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From: The grassy nolls


The sweetest guy ever: Daniel. He is waiting until marriage and I told him about my suicide attempts. He told me that he would listen to me anytime I needed it. I knew he didn't like me, but it felt like he was leading me on. Not on purpose, but he was. I can't stand having crushes. They piss me off. They make me feel weak and a little on the nauseous side. I could do without them. Seriously. . . fuck men. They're either assholes or way too sweet and will never like me. I might cry.


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anna k
post Dec 20 2009, 02:05 PM
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He's not a dancer, just does kickboxing. The boxing ring is right outside of the dance studio in the gym, so he may come in and practice while I'm waiting for the dance instructor to arrive. He seemed pretty quiet and kind of awkward. I don't have a big crush, just thought he was cute.

I wish you a lot of luck with your friend, it sounds really exciting!
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epinephrine
post Dec 20 2009, 01:17 PM
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Anna, the guy is a dancer and a kickboxer? And he's shy and reserved? Hot.

Yeah, I know my friend's got some flaky ways, so I'm not going to pursue him. And I don't have any romantic interest in him at all - I just always wanted to fuck him. It's kind of a unique situation, because we've been best friends since I was 15. We've known each other so long and been through so much together I know if it happened it probably wouldn't even change anything. I just see an opportunity for an opportunity now, and I gotta say, I find it kind of exciting. Now that I know he's bi even when he's sober, things are different. I turned down the opportunity before because he was fucked up and it felt wrong, but if it comes again, I might not.

I've got an appointment at the gyno this week to get my check-up, and I think I'm going to go back on the pill. Might as well.


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anna k
post Dec 20 2009, 10:44 AM
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This is kind of dorky for me to write, but I felt personally happy.

When I go to dance class at the gym, I had noticed a guy around who also does kickboxing at the same place, and I had always wanted to say hello, finding him cute, but never did, feeling like I shouldn't say hi. Friday night he came in, and I was the only other person in the room, so I just got up and said hi, and introduced myself. We talked about the kickboxing class, where I had said I had liked it but had trouble with the combinations, and he smiled and said, "Yeah, the sparring is even harder." He came off as very shy and quiet, which was in contrast with his fighting style. I'm more naturally introverted and will keep quiet reading instead of talking to new people, so I felt happy to break out of my shell for a minute just to smile and open up.

epinephrine, I know what you mean about great kissing. Where it's so good that you just don't think about it, it feels natural and comfortable and intense. He sounds like a very charismatic guy, but take it easy with him, in case he can still be wishy-washy. Let us know how it goes.
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epinephrine
post Dec 19 2009, 07:20 PM
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Well, apparently it didn't work out between R and his crush, so that option still stands, I guess. He's been pissing me off lately, though. He's a good guy deep down inside, but sometimes that goodness is really deep down inside. He can be an insensitive prick. Not a turn on.

I ran into my best friend from back in the day yesterday. We had a bad falling out a few years back - we were living together, he developed a nasty little coke habit, and coke fiends do not make good friends or roommates - but we've known each other so long and been through so much shit, with and without each other, that it's all water under the bridge now. It was amazing, like nothing's changed. He's also gorgeous (oh, and totally, totally gay), and I was in love with him for years. I thought I was over him. But...I dunno, he's so damn charismatic that I don't think anyone can know him and not have at least a little crush on him. Apparently, he's not so totally, totally gay anymore, either. He started sleeping with women when he was super strung out, and doesn't seem to mind a little pussy now and then. He considers himself bi now. And, damn me, I couldn't stop thinking about it after. In all our time of partying and being irresponsible horny queer twentysomethings together, we never actually slept together. We made out a few times and he made a few passes at me when he was fucked up, but I felt like I'd be taking advantage of him and it'd be weird after, so I always turned him down even as I was getting totally wet thinking about it. But he's still friends with some of the girls he slept with - he introduced me to one of them yesterday - and...c'mon. A gay guy and a lesbian. That would either be really fucking hot and intense or really fucking awkward and bad. But I'm going for hot and intense. I still remember what it was like kissing him - everyone has a different kissing style, and when you find someone who has the same style you do, and you meet in the same rhythm and just come together so naturally, it's...oh, fuck, it's intense. He was a great kisser. I still think about it. I always felt like we might hook up someday. I'm very curious to see where this goes.


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futura
post Dec 16 2009, 03:48 AM
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Yay Odissey!

So i talked to fc. Y'all are probably wondering why oh why i put any more energy in this guy. But unless i talked to him about the whole sorry drama, i felt there was no closure for me. Now i can move on. Which i could already, but i want him out of my system, and talking helped.

When i have problems with friends i tend to hash it out, no stone left unturned, you know? But this guy...well he understands now (at some level) that he really really hurt me. We met in a bar on Friday night and he just talked back. He did the same thing to a girl i know (the whole 'i like you so much' and then take it back) and he refused to acknowledge it was the same thing. So i got sarcastic and he didn't like that one bit. Alcohol didn't help ofcourse. So that wasn't the closure i had hoped for. But i also saw a glimp of the person he really is, wanting to have control all the time, he just starts to argue whenever there's a conflict because otherwise he has to take responsibility.Too close for comfort and all that.

Yesterday we met up for a cup of coffee. I think it's clear to him now, but for me it's really about me wanting to say certain things and be done with it. I see now that he never changed, that he has so much issues he's afraid to address himself, and that's why he has so few friends, i guess. I'll leave him alone for now. It's time to go out and meet new people.

I'm so glad things didn't work out with him romantically, he's one of the most immature people i ever met. But his front is all 'cute guy who means well and cares for you'.

I went out with some friends this Saturday, to an exhibition with bands playing. There were at least three men i liked. This one guy..i dunno, i didn't even talk to him because i want to give myself some rest and take it slow, but i kinda hope to see him around.


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anna k
post Dec 14 2009, 10:22 PM
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I'm sorry, epi. You can still have a little crush on him. The girl in your self-defense class sounds like a dream come true, I love how you described her.

That sounds good, Odyssey. Just have fun with him. smile.gif

I've had a couple of little crushes lately, but they're on unattainable people, so I don't really care.

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