[starship]

Feeling more womanly lately, with my new 34B size and my hips and butt look real good. And the man I'm with surely helps as well.

again with the implication that small boobs aren't womanly. gah

Uhoh, 'cute'. I used to take the odd suggestive pic for my then-bf when we were living long-distance. This one time I'd made quite an effort (fancy bra, makeup, sultry pouty face haha) and thought i was looking pretty darn hot...until one of his remarks in response was how I'm 'more of a pretty girl than a sexy one'. Yeah, he had a talent for saying the wrong thing. I'm er sure he meant well. I think it's funny now but at the time I was not amused...

[Allison-Shine]

OMG, what a great idea for a song remake.. Cuteback. Love it. Just... awesome.

Yes I think I will take "Cuteback" too.

This thread helped me realize that most people use the word "cute" in place of "hot", "beautiful" or "sexy" since it is more PC or just simply more appropriate in personal situations. Now I don't get as worked up about the C-word as I used to.

Feeling more womanly lately, with my new 34B size and my hips and butt look real good. And the man I'm with surely helps as well.

[Aithinne]

LOL!

Love it!!!

Justin Timberlake has to do a sequel to "Sexyback." Call it "Cuteback!"

Yeah, sing it, ladies! All together now:

"I'm takin' Cuu-ute back! (Yeah!)"

OMG, what a great idea for a song remake.. Cuteback. Love it. Just... awesome.

[karategrrl]

It's time for us to take back the cute! Cute is hot!

LOL!

Love it!!!

Justin Timberlake has to do a sequel to "Sexyback." Call it "Cuteback!"

Yeah, sing it, ladies! All together now:

"I'm takin' Cuu-ute back! (Yeah!)"

[anna k]

Don't be too hung up on looking young. One day, and trust me on this, you will appreciate looking young. Enjoy your youth. It is more valuable than you realize

Very true. I'm going to be 26 soon and still think I look younger than I am, wanting to look more womanly than girlish. But then I imagine that looking young and girlish will eventually catch up with me and I'll look more my age, whatever it may be.

And same on calling guys cute when you mean sexy/hot. I saw a guy tonight at the gym who was kickboxing while I was reading a book, and I thought he was very cute, and sexy when kicking/punching the bag. I wanted to say hi but felt it would be weird or intrusive.

[angie_21]

Hi Eris, I am really interested in what you wrote, but to be honest I only understand maybe half of it. I think you might have to actually explain what a Meme is before anyone can respond to your post.

I agree completely with the 'cute' comment. I can't tell you how many times I've noticed a guy and said "he's really cute". What I often meant was 'WOW!'.
Don't be too hung up on looking young. One day, and trust me on this, you will appreciate looking young. Enjoy your youth. It is more valuable than you realize.

Oh so true!!

Also, one of my boyfriend's favorite things about me is how "cute" I am. He is constantly telling me I am adorable, sweet, cute, every nauseating word you can think of... I sometimes get annoyed too, but I know he loves me a lot because of it. To him it's very desirable for women to be genuinely sweet and loving, much more so than to be overly dressed-up like barbie dolls, agressive and fake. Those are overgreneralizations, but you know what I am saying. Men, at least most of the ones I know, have a protective instinct, and cuteness sets it off. They may not always like to admit it, but they loooove cute things. The thing is, cute and sexy are NOT opposites, I know it feels that way sometimes, but they actually can go hand in hand. And oh yeah, playing up cutenes, innocence, and helplessness, when done in a clever or playful way, is pretty well-known and successful method of flirting.

[strongirl]

"It's time for us to take back the cute! Cute is hot!" Buttercups, that is both astute and hilarious at the same time!

[Persephone3]

I agree completely with the 'cute' comment. I can't tell you how many times I've noticed a guy and said "he's really cute". What I often meant was 'WOW!'.
Don't be too hung up on looking young. One day, and trust me on this, you will appreciate looking young. Enjoy your youth. It is more valuable than you realize.

[buttercups]

See, exactly! He couldn't say "you're one hot sexy babe I want to ravage" because it wouldn't have been appropriate! He was hitting on you, you should feel great about yourself!

[Aithinne]

You know, I realized that too, that cute is really the only acceptable compliment on looks for public settings between strangers. Unfortunate really... I wish there was a word people could use when they are strangers that wasn't also used for toddlers and puppies.

[buttercups]

Aithinne I know exactly how you feel, I am definitely always identified as being "cute" and I always equate it with my lack of breast-estage. I remember all too well how the guy I was in love with in high school for 2 years would literally pat me on the head and tell me I was "so cute" all the time. I of course took it the wrong way and thought he liked me, but he soon set it straight that he meant it in a little sister way ( of course!). But everyone here is right, and maybe we've taken cute the wrong way. I think we're assuming that men and women use cute differently. When we say a guy is cute we equate that with hot and sexy. We may be assuming that when a guy says it he means little sister, but maybe he means it like we do. I know that anytime I've been at a bar with my guy friends whenever they are attracted to a girl they say "she's cute". Could it be that because of the way you feel about yourself maybe you misconstrued his words? This guy could have totally been checkin your hot self out and called you cute to pay you a compliment and win you over. In fact, I'm sure that's what it was! He was totally hitting on you and even told you that you're cute! I mean he couldn't tell you in public when you were at your job that you're sexy. Cute is much more appropriate for public and work and he most certainly meant to compliment you! It's time for us to take back the cute! Cute is hot!

[Aithinne]

I think the cute makes me cringe because I have always looked underage. If all you ever hear is that you look like a cute 12 year old, you can feel pidgeon-holed in the cute immature box. Breaking free of the cute and being seen as an adult has been a struggle. Idk, cute makes me feel 12, and who's attracted to a 12 year old unless they're a pedo? Grr.. I need to not think about it so my distractions can start working.

I know it's stupid to get so worked up over a word that is supposed to be a compliment, but it still makes me feel unwomanly and insecure.

[strongirl]

Good point, Anna K.

It's funny but when I read the posts from "cutenotsexy" on here, I ALWAYS read it mentally as "cuteandsexy" because in my mind, cute IS sexy.

Cute AND sexy: Kate Hudson, her mom Goldie Hawn, Lily Allen, Miley Cyrus (I don't really like her but she is cute and sexy), Katie Holmes, Gwen Stefani. All of them are cute and sexy in an appealing, girlish way.

Personally, I've always enjoyed being regarded as "cute" and I work the sexy aspect of that hard when I'm coming on to someone, even just at home with my bf, with good success. (Of course in a business setting I play it down and go for the more mature thing.) But a cute girl who is playful and flirtatious in a lighthearted, sincere way will have no trouble being regarded as sexy, in my opinion.

[Aithinne]

Aithinne, I think cute can be sexy. For famous examples, I think of Amy Adams and Drew Barrymore as both cute and sexy, having a girlish charm and innocent-looking faces while both being very sexy in an innate way. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. From your writings, I do think you're sexy in an intelligent and unique way, and it isn't good to equate big breasts or curvy figures with "sexy." Personally, it can feel like an exaggerated feminity sometimes.

Oh anna k, how I love you! Hopefully work will distract me so I don't have to think...

[Eris_Sweetleaf]

Hey, girls. Long time no chat but I had to tell you a little tale that happened only about...36 hours or so.

You guys know what memes are right? I'm pretty we all do but this is what happened. For the past few years ro so, the art site that I frequent to (which will remain nameless) has a few memebers (who will also remain namless) who seem to have it stuck in their heads that, get this, small-breasted/flat-chested women are DIFFICULT TO DRAW. Never mind the fact that most of their 'professional' galleries are filled with huge breast art, with women looking like they are about to take one up the butt but that's a rant for another time. Anyway, I thought 'hey, maybe if I got a few artist to show that small breast aren't hard to draw, I can call their bullshit for what it it'

And with that, I created this;
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v485/Bun...stMeme1copy.png

I actually posted this on two of my accounts on two different sights. Thus far, I have only had TWO people actually do it but within that I have gotten quite a few comments from other people who agree with the message it holds...they just don't draw memes.

Of course, I knew that with this, there were going to be a few, ahem, naysays who feel that its their right to tell us why they don't like small breast. Sure, they can say that, its their opinion but that opinion takes the dive into pure insult when their 'statement' turns into something that looks more like l33t speak that resembles a cat walking on a keyboard than anything coherent. Let's just say that I had a pretty worded fight with someone who thought like this who's only argument was, 'I jst think small breast are ugleh' His argument wasn't helped when it tried to make a *lame* joke that there should be a 'flat-tax'; all women who have flat chest should be taxed.

Its funny right? Laugh!

To make a long story short, the argument that followed wound up flooding the pic's owners gallery so much that she had to resubmit it. I know I shouldn't have gotten THAT angry but still, there is something wrong when someone thinks that liking big boobs is a 'real guy thing' and that saying small breast are ugleh isn't an insult. Of course even know, the guy is still trying to point fingers as ME and still claiming that small breast are unwomanly and make a woman look 'unbalanced' but the only good thing that comes from this is the fact that I know there are men around said site that can call his bullshit in two seconds.

But really, I hate people like this; people who think their cute when they try to make a joke out of an insult and then imply that YOU can't defend yourself because his/her opinion is higher than yours. I guess I would haven't have gotten on him so much if his wording was less immature but really, how far do you think when you're comment looks like this?

'Smlla breast are ugleh. Don kill me! Lol'

And THIS is why I made the damn meme in the first place.

I'm still waiting for more people to fill it out so please feel free to have fun with it. I really don't care anymore but there it is.

[anna k]

Aithinne, I think cute can be sexy. For famous examples, I think of Amy Adams and Drew Barrymore as both cute and sexy, having a girlish charm and innocent-looking faces while both being very sexy in an innate way. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. From your writings, I do think you're sexy in an intelligent and unique way, and it isn't good to equate big breasts or curvy figures with "sexy." Personally, it can feel like an exaggerated feminity sometimes.

[Aithinne]

I agree about the setting change doing good things for you. Different people will give you different feedback. If you're surrounded by people who keep telling you your boobies are unacceptable, time to find a new crowd to hang out with.


On a side note, I had a kind of depressing day the other day. Was feeling great and sexy, but then I got told I was 'cute' by a male customer at work. It was like an instant crash and burn for my confidence. Really sad how fast I suddenly felt insecure after that. I was having this great day, feeling good about myself, feeling like I could turn heads and then BAM! I got a diaper slapped back on my butt and shoved back in 5 year old territory. Friend-zoned!!! Got the ol' axe. Sadly, now I'm in one of those cycles where you're obsessive about your looks for days on end and your anxiety level is through the roof. Now I'm back in my bad state of mind, wondering if my 'cuteness' would mean I'm incapable of turning a guy on.

The 'cute' thing and the small breast issue are the two things that can get me down in the dumps for days on end. Now I feel like the only way I can get out of my cute=not sexy obsession is if a guy actually says they are turned on by the 'cute'....

*Le sigh*, always the same issues that are so hard for me to get over. I got small boobs, does that mean I can't be sexy? I've got a baby face and huge chipmunk cheeks, does that mean I can't be sexy? I'm perpetually cute, does that mean I can't be sexy? I'm generally not very curvy, does that mean I can't be sexy?

Blah, bad day for me, and no one to talk to about it so now it's doubly sad.

[angie_21]

Has anyone else experienced anything like this where all of a sudden youre in a place where no one knows you and youre finally able to be yourself without a care?

Me too, definitely the biggest turning points in my life have been when I was in a new situation and suddenly spending my days with completely new people. It happened once traveling for work, and once for a field school. The first time I learned a lot about myself and overcame some pretty big social anxieties I've always had. The second time, I got home, ended a dead-end, emotionally abusive relationship, and moved to a new city for a new job. It sounds crazy to have changed that much, but having time to step back from the annoying day-to-day concerns gives you so much perspective on your own life, and interacting with new people helps you see yourself in a new light. I always look forward to opportunities to travel for work because of it.

[karategrrl]

Has anyone else experienced anything like this where all of a sudden youre in a place where no one knows you and youre finally able to be yourself without a care? ...
I suggest that anyone who is seriously suffering should just go to another town over or somewhere unfamiliar and then try walking around in your natural state. I think it taught me a lot about what's really going on with me..

OMG, yes, I SO relate. As so many of us have stated, we do tend to define ourselves to some extent through how others see us (or even how we think they do). So I think it's not surprising at all that it was different for you. You're right--this could be a deeper view of yourself. The trick is to remember what that felt like and learn to channel that more and more into your daily life. (Assuming you aren't going to suddenly pick up and move where no one knows you.)

So glad you had that experience. You will have a bad day again sooner or later, but hopefully it won't be AS bad when you have that memeory to draw on.

[buttercups]

Just got back from the last little trip of the summer before school starts-and just want to say that I think all of you are great, I respect all of your views and opinions, and I'm as happy as I've ever been that I found this board! You are all life-savers to me!

I noticed something very interesting when I was away with just me and my bf- I honestly didn't care about my small chest! I walked around the entire trip with a barely padded bra or lightly padded bathing suit and since I knew no one there it just didn't matter. When I was out I never even thought about it. Angie I guess what happened was that I was subconciously taking a break from it like you suggested. It was very freeing not to worry about it and just not to care. Maybe the only reason why it bothers me so much when I'm at home is because of all the people I know and all the comments they make/have made. When I wasn't around any of them my mind was totally clear of breast worries. I even wore the black lingerie like I had planned and my bf liked it but he still had his usual problem with ED and I didnt blame it on my chest like I automatically do. We didn't quite succeed at fully working through it but at least I managed not to tear myself up about it. Has anyone else experienced anything like this where all of a sudden youre in a place where no one knows you and youre finally able to be yourself without a care? I'd rate my daily concern and thoughts about my breasts as high and this was one of the few times it was truly low- zero. I suggest that anyone who is seriously suffering should just go to another town over or somewhere unfamiliar and then try walking around in your natural state. I think it taught me a lot about what's really going on with me..