[Persephone3]

Persephone3, that is the Danish actress Anna Karina in my avatar, who acted in French films in the sixties. I thought she was lovely, and my real pics are in the say cheese thread.

Thank you buttercups! And that bank teller story was really great to read, I'm glad you feel so good.

Hi Anna k
I googled Anna Karina, and you are right she is lovely! I have to ask my sister about her (she lives in Paris). I'm not sure where the 'say cheese' thread is, but I am sure you are lovely too.

[buttercups]

Hey ladies, I'm leaving for the beach tomorrow and I'll be gone for a week- please pray for me that I get through this without a small boobie meltdown! wish me luck!
xoxo buttercups

[anna k]

Persephone3, that is the Danish actress Anna Karina in my avatar, who acted in French films in the sixties. I thought she was lovely, and my real pics are in the say cheese thread.

Thank you buttercups! And that bank teller story was really great to read, I'm glad you feel so good.

[KeraBear]

Off topic, but I was watching a British comedian on Conan the other night and he said, "A lot of women are upset because their beasts are two different sizes... but look on the bright side, one is bigger than the other!"

I had to chuckle at that one. Seems like a typical male response.

[angie_21]

oooooohh I am so jealous of Scarlet Johansen. She is gorgeous in a very dramatic and feminine way. But you know who else is, Cate Blanchett

I had a friend who always talked about boobs too. For her, it was because she didn't feel confident about her body at all, but she knew she got attention from boys because fo her chest, so she brought it up whenever she was feeling fat or bad about her body. So she was talking down other people to make herself feel better. I was one of the people she was insulting, but honestly I know she never even realised it, because she was too busy feeling bad about herself. I try to always see the beauty in others and myself, because it is the only way to really appreciate everyone for who they are. When my friends talk negatively about others & themselves, I just point out what's good and beautiful, and then stay out of the conversation. I know its frustrating to try to just "ignore" when they talk about boobs, because it is a bit hurtful no matter what, but if you are strong then you can realize it has nothing to do with you or anyone else with small boobs, it is about themselves and their need to feel beautiful.

I am really happy that you are feeling better and more comfortable. That's a big step! I know its hard to stay strong, and there are days you won't feel strong, but once you learn to love yourself then it is easy to recover from bad days! *hugs*

[buttercups]

Thanks Anarch and Strongirl.

And yes that may seem silly but when they deliberately talk about how big their boobs are and then point out how small other girls are right in front of me when they can see i got none-well it is kind of flaunting. and i admit that sometimes i think they dont mean to, but other times it can be pretty obvious that they do. Sometimes girls do put other girls down to make themselves feel better and yes that is silly, but it is also true. It especially holds true bc my sister knows how sensitive i am about having such a small chest and how much it upsets me on almost a daily basis, so for her to shove her boobs in my face and put down small girls it does make me feel bad. I know she would never want to hurt me, but she has always let me know that she has big boobs and i have none. I was by no means indicating that girls with big boobs are always flaunting them at us small girls' expense, i was merely pointing out that once in awhile it does happen in my own family from personal experience.

On a similar note, I was at a party with my sister and we were all having a silly discussion about our celebrity "girl crushes". I said that I think Rachel McAdams is adorable and def my girl crush. My sister said "ew no way, shes not hot. I like sexy voluptuous girls with curves, like Scarlet Johanssen". Then I said "well i like Kate Hudson" and my sister was like "oh yeah, she is hot". stupid little convo but i felt like i was able to point out that yes voluptuous girls are hot, but small girls with less curves can be hot too!

[hellotampon]

but sometimes it does feel as though they are flaunting their boobs at my expense

I hope you know how silly that is.

[anarch]

Just popping in to cheer you on, Buttercups. Awesome stories about your bf and the bank teller and the work you're doing on this!

Also, y'all are giving awesome advice and support. Beauty AND brains too!

[strongirl]

Hey, Buttercups, that is such an awesome story about the bank teller! You're expanding your appreciation for what's beautiful by appreciating others...and including yourself in your expanded definition! I have always found that when I truly appreciate someone else's beauty, not in a jealous or competitive way but truly appreciate it, whether or not they look like me or very different, I somehow feel better about myself, too. More relaxed, more generous, more confident. It's good.

On working out, there are some great posts on this if you read back a ways in this forum. Karategrrl and I are both dedicated to working out and Angie_21 has talked about how using your body to do fun and challenging activities helps you focus on and appreciate things other than your boobs. As for just the "chest vanity" aspect of it, work your pecs and get that "muscle cleavage" that Karategrrl and I enjoy having! It thrusts what you do have up and forward and makes a nice shadow between your breasts that really photographs well. And Crinoline, I know that washboard chest look of which you speak. Working my pecs these past several years has helped me finally get rid of that after decades of hating it.

[buttercups]

Thanks ladies, you really do all rock and make me feel so much better- pretty soon i hope to have very little to vent about! I'm going to take all of your advice and really put it to use at the beach next week. I am going to try for the first time ever to not get down on myself and to just enjoy myself rather than getting all upset. Its funny really its like clockwork- I get upset every year when we go to the beach bc of my tiny chest and I ALWAYS let it get to me- this year no way! I'm going to try to kick myself in the ass if I try to think something negative. I'm also gonna go shopping for some cute clothes and little skirts to make me feel a little cuter when we're there. And if all else fails hahah I'm going to try out your game Strongirl- that is hilarious! It's true that these girls aren't assholes like Courtney, but sometimes it does feel as though they are flaunting their boobs at my expense- and maybe they don't realize it a lot. Or when we're watching tv theyll say something like "oh ew that girl is so flat!" - but next time I hear that I'm gonna say "yeah i think she's totally hot!"

Angie_21 you're right, I did go back to the negative self-talk and I really really have to work on that! Persephone3 that was very interesting about the guys and the height- it makes me want to run up to the next smaller guy I see and tell him how hot he is (though i doubt the bf would appreciate that haha). I've always tried to think of something that would make guys feel the same way we do that would be on more equal footing. I mean the classic example is penis size but like many have pointed out that is not revealed until the exact moment. I think height is an issue on more equal footing with small breasts bc we can immediately see that a guy is short in stature. I have thought many short guys are hot though- so there have to be just as many guys who think we're hot.

Chicaloca- thanks for trying to help me focus on the positive. I'm not exactly thin I just have more of a small frame, but I'm learning to work it with the help of you wonderful ladies! And Anna K what you said was so sweet, thank you. You sound like you're a great sister just like mine! She is lucky to have you!

As far as working out I wish so much that there was a way to target just tummy fat and cellulite- but of course since I started running I've kinda been losing weight all over. I think I like my body better like this though, my big stomach and tiny chest were lookin kinda funny together- and my stomach is far from being as rock hard as gwen stefani's, but its def improved with exercise. I just don't want to lose anymore of my small chest!

I went to the bank today in my barely padded bra (its really cute and only $20 from target- its called Gilligan & O'Malley gel push-up bra. I wear a 32A and I'm actually a AA, so it does run small if anyone wants to try it out. It gives a real nice rounded shape- not pointy like a lot of padded bras bc its soft satin-y padding. The back is also all lacy which I think is really pretty- but enough about the bra haha). So anyways I was filling out my deposit form and I noticed this pretty bank teller girl was kind of staring at me. I took it as a usual "girl-sizing-up-another-girl" thing and thought "ugh well shes really pretty and probably thinking how small my chest is" . I went up to deposit my checks and she was my teller. I realized when I saw her up close that her chest was just as small as mine-rock on! I hope that maybe I secretly encouraged her to flaunt her small boobies like she encouraged me. And I had also thought she was pretty before and after I saw that she had a small chest like mine- I guess we smallies really are hot! So if any of you girls work at a bank well maybe I saw you and you're gorgeous! <3

[crinoline]

buttercups- I do worry about how I exercise since I don't want to lose the breast fat that I have. I turn more to dance than jogging or similar high impact cardio because I don't want to "burn" too much fat. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be any way to target and "spot-lose" my belly and thighs without affecting the rest of my body. If I lose even five pounds the ribs between my breasts become very prominent and that makes me self-conscious. So I focus more on toning than losing I guess.

everyone else - y'all are still awesome! (and thanks for stopping by, annak! It's always nice to hear from our bustier Busty friends too)

[strongirl]

Buttercups, you are getting some very caring and wise advice in here! Re-read Angie's post! Try to replace the negative thoughts in your head with your bf's adoring words and the insightful perspectives of the women in this thread. Toward that end, maybe you should ignore this next bit from me....

On the busty girls who won't shut up about boobs, I really never experienced that until the past few years when I met this girl who's part of a social group that I only hang with occasionally. It took me a while to realize she's really an asshole in a wide variety of ways but it didn't take long to realize she's obsessed with making sure everyone notices her boobs. Of the few dozen times I've seen her, I think she's failed to mention her boobs twice (probably she did, while I was in the bathroom or something). It's ridiculous, she makes sure her boobs come up in casual conversation everywhere she goes! At lunch, in bars, at parties...you can be sure Courtney will bring up her boobs. After I realized this was such a persistent pattern, I started amusing myself by imagining just getting it out of the way when I first see her, like "Oh hi, Courtney! Nice to see you and your boobs! How have you and the big girls been lately?" and maybe adding on something like "Looks like they might be hanging a little low, you lose some weight?" or "I see you've got them cantilevered and on display tonight, making sure nobody's gonna miss seeing those puppies, eh? (wink)"

Once I started doing this in my mind, the amusement value of seeing her outweighs the annoyance. I know it's a bit mean but I don't share it with anyone else, just laugh quietly to myself. Then I wait to see how long it takes for her to mention them...sometimes I play a game by guessing the time and seeing how close I get. (She usually beats my estimates.)

I'm not sure this is good advice like most of what you get in here, Buttercups - it's not wise, or Zen, or even kind, it may not work if you love these girls and they're not assholes, and you should probably ignore it - but if they get on your nerves too much with the big boob talk, you could enjoy a nasty inner snicker at their expense like I do with Courtney.

[Persephone3]

My sister has A-sized breasts and I have triple-D-sized breasts. She most definetly has looked at me and said "What happened?!" or joking that I should give her half my breast fat and we'd be about even. She currently wants to get B-sized implants, because she hates her small breasts and wants to feel better. Part of me understands her choice and dilemma, but I also think she's jumping on the bandwagon because plastic surgery is so normalized and mainstream now.

I've found that working out helped me lose some fat in my breasts, so they don't feel as big. I'm not looking forward to any sagging as I get older, but that's the nature of having larger breasts.

buttercups, you writing "I also hope my bf can keep his eyes on me..though who can blame him if he cant bc his gf really has no body" sounds terrible! Your bf loves you, I can tell from your posts. He adores you, and those thoughts are just bring you down. You're a lovely little gem, I'd hate for you to feel like that.

Hi Anna K. Is that you in your avatar?

[chicaloca]

...and then he looks at me with this really serious look and says "I love your body". I felt so shy and embarrassed that I just put my head down on his shoulder and he whispered it twice more in my ear. Then he said "I could stare at your naked body all day long" and he was looking directly at my (not-so-existent) breasts. I felt really shy again, but it also made me feel like maybe he doesnt hate my body. He also pays a lot of attention to my chest during sex, which I never quite understood but of course have never exactly argued with him about it. When all that excitement was over I was laying next to him and he told me to look him in the eye and he said "youre really beautiful". Well after all that I decided that I'm not going to give this guy up, so the breakup was off. He also told me that he likes the way I look much better without all that padding and that he loves just being able to feel my chest with these new bras.

First of all, wow, Buttercups, he's quite a catch! I'm so happy for you because of that awesome story!

Now, that being said, yes, the negative self-talk has to stop. I know it's easier said than done, god knows I should stop such nonsense sometimes. But really, with what your boyfriend said, I think you should give yourself more credit.

It sucks when our family members have something that we wish we had AND they talk about it - it can certainly make you feel out of place and maybe inadequate. But when you're with them, in your bikini, please do focus on your good qualities, look at yourself as a whole. I think you mentioned in an earlier post that you're a size 0. So I bet you can rock a bikini! Most women feel very self conscious because of fat rolls. I wear bikinis, I love them, but I usually feel self-conscious about my belly and cellullite... and somewhat about my small boobies. Especially when I go to the beach with my boyfriend and sometimes I see other girls who're thinner and have bigger breasts. But then this year my boyfriend literally couldn't keep his eyes away from me which was somewhat embarrassing because ahem... he got a bit turned on and you know how trunks don't hide some *things* too well. And then he got a bit pissed off because other guys started checking me out... because according to him, my wide hips and small waist look awesome in a bikini. So yes, we get very self conscious, especially in bathing suits, but sometimes there's no need.

Maybe these thin, busty girls felt self conscious about their lack of booty, or just about any other thing. But that's just something that we feel. It's hard to feel great in a bikini sometimes, but there are great styles that enhance any body shape. You're very thin, so flaunt it! I bet you have amazing legs and an amazing tummy. So show them off. Try not to focus so much on the boobies. I bet you look gorgeous. And remember the amazing words your boyfriend told you, especially these: "I love your body" and "I could stare at your naked body all day long". He means it. This means that you have an awesome body. FLAUNT IT!

Boys will be boys and when a pretty girl walks by they look. But they look and it passes. It can give us a bit of an uneasy feeling, but then they look at you and they feel a whole lot of other emotions. Just like if you happen to see a hottie at the beach or the pool, but you just give him a quick glance and then it's over.

On another topic, I always feel bad when guys suffer about height or being bald, because sometimes they get so self conscious and resent women so much... it's sad, I don't know

[Persephone3]

I was surfing the net and I came across this message board where men were complaining about their height. They sounded like so many women who feel bad about their chest size. They said things like "no girl looks at me when I walk into a club" or when online dating they saw many entries of women who requested a man be over 6' tall. These men felt TERRIBLE about themselves! I thought that any woman who would discount a man beceause of height would be missing out on a lot of good men.

Buttercup - that story about your boyfriend is awesome. He sounds like a really nice man. And he obviously doesn't want to lose you. How romantic!!!

BTW - I also run everday. For me that is probably an advantage to having smaller breasts. I don't want to get too skinny, but I do feel better when my figure is more 'balanced' through exercise. So that keeps me motivated to hit the treadmill daily, which keeps me healthier. I also just started working on my pecs (about 2-3 weeks). I don't think I would start to see results yet, but I'll let you know if I do.

Also, I'm reading here about the focus on specific body parts and I can't help but think how easy it would be to change the perception of yourself (well, maybe not easy). For instance I could describe myself to you in a way that would make me sound really unattractive, if I broke myself down into parts. But the truth is the overall picture of myself is very attractive for I am not just a sum of all my parts, neither are you! And that is not taking character into consideration, which makes us all so special and unique.

[anna k]

My sister has A-sized breasts and I have triple-D-sized breasts. She most definetly has looked at me and said "What happened?!" or joking that I should give her half my breast fat and we'd be about even. She currently wants to get B-sized implants, because she hates her small breasts and wants to feel better. Part of me understands her choice and dilemma, but I also think she's jumping on the bandwagon because plastic surgery is so normalized and mainstream now.

I've found that working out helped me lose some fat in my breasts, so they don't feel as big. I'm not looking forward to any sagging as I get older, but that's the nature of having larger breasts.

buttercups, you writing "I also hope my bf can keep his eyes on me..though who can blame him if he cant bc his gf really has no body" sounds terrible! Your bf loves you, I can tell from your posts. He adores you, and those thoughts are just bring you down. You're a lovely little gem, I'd hate for you to feel like that.

[angie_21]

I know the family situaiton is annoying - I used to feel that way too about a few of my cousins, like, why did they get the boob gene and I didn't? But you know, it's life. One of my friends always said that I must've stolen her "tall genes" because I was 5'7 and she was 4'10. For a while she was trying to get growth hormone treatment while she was still young enough for it to affect her bones. While I was busy worrying about where my boobs had gone as a teenager, my other friends were complaining because they weren't tall enough, weren't skinny enough, weren't perky enough, their noses were too big, etc. But by the time we're past puberty, it's just the way things are. We can gain or lose weight, but we can't even choose where the weight goes. All my friends kept saying they wanted my body because at the time it was super cool to have hip bones that stuck out visibly. So if you see what I'm saying.. there's nothing to feel left out about. Everyone hates their bodies. and that's very sad. Yeah, people talk about boobs sometimes, but if you keep focusing on it, it's going to keep making you depressed. You can just start talking about how awesome your legs look, and probably some of them will be jealous of that!

And you went back to the negative self-talk! You have a body just like everyone else, and to say you have no body based on one part of it, is over-obsessing about your chest size. Especially when he likes your boobs anyways. Every time you say things like that, you have to ask yourself why am I saying this? Why am I letting myself believe that when it's really not true? And in terms of looking at other girls.. guys will look at other girls who are pretty, but when they do it has nothing to do with how hot their own girlfriend is in comparison to that girl. Guys like to look at pretty girls, end of story. All different kind of pretty girls, not just girls with their boobies hanging out for everyone to see. Hopefully your boyfriend won't be checking out your family though, because that's a bit gross!

If working out makes you happy, go for it! I've found it really helps me love and appreciate my body. I've also found that, despite my hopes and fears, weight gain an dloss doesn't do much to my chest size. Like I said, I gained almost 30 pounds in the last few years and my boobs grew, not as much as the rest of me, but now it's 36AA instead of 34AA so they are bigger. And you know what.. I really don't care whether my belly's flat except occasionally when wearing tight pants and not being able to wear a tight shirt at the same time. I also don't don't care if my boobs fall right off if I lose 20 pounds. Either way, I have my long legs and my boot-ay, and I have my good health. I'm still within the healthy range, I'd like to have more endurance but I'm in better shape than some of my friends and family, pretty average I guess. Most days, I just don't think about it. I would sure miss my boobies if I lost weight, but I also miss the flat stomach I used to have.

[buttercups]

Thanks KeraBear!

I went to my little cousins party today and was doing fine until my sister ran up and told me that my cousin is so excited bc since going on the pill recently her boobs have gotten huge. she did go from a small B to a large C in a short period of time and was spilling out of her bathing suit- a feeling i have never gotten to have. Idk why but it makes me feel even more inadequate and self-conscious. I guess this is partly bc we are all going away together and now im going to be the only one who is even close to small chested and def the only one who cant even fill out an A cup. I wonder what happened to me in my family that i am like this. All these big busted girls also like to flaunt their chests and talk about their boobs a lot- which always leaves me feeling so self-conscious and left out. I also hope my bf can keep his eyes on me..though who can blame him if he cant bc his gf really has no body.

in other news, was anyone on here ever hesitant to start exercising? i was for years bc i was terrified that i would lose any tiny breast tissue i had, but then i started getting a gut and really really couldnt stand my body back at the beginning of may. i decided that i already got pretty much nothing on top so id rather be fit and flat than fat and started walking/jogging. ive been doing it consistently and now can go for about 3.5 miiles and i havent really lost too much up there i dont think-though u cant really notice anyways i guess. were any of you scared to exercise?

[KeraBear]

Yay buttercups! I am quite happy for you. Having a boyfriend who loves and appreciates my tiny booblets has improves the way I see myself. Of course, we shouldn't have to rely on others to validate ourselves and our bodies, but it sure helps. Good times...

Oh yes, and i LOVE the new SN

[buttercups]

Thanks girls, and I will try to refrain from a lot of the negative self-talk. I guess everyone around me has always called me flat, but that doesn't mean I have to call myself that. I know I shouldn't fully validate myself by what a guy says about me, but I am going to remember a lot of the things he says when I feel down on myself. I shouldn't rely on it entirely, but it does help to make things easier so I'll take it for now. Karategrrl I love your story, anytime anyone pays attention to small breasts I want to hear about it- its like a victory for all of us!