[lowredmoon]

*bump* for skandelouslala

I had a ridiculous panic attack last week, ending up with me curled up in bed with the covers over my head, sobbing uncontrollably, and missing work.

of course, i had just been in a car accident the week before, in the middle of my last-ever undergraduate finals week, and i'm moving out of my apartment and back in with my parents...so it might have been warranted, for a change.

[period_monster]

I hope it's okay that I am resurrecting this thread. I like my OCD just fine, it's the anxiety that is getting to me. I hope all others who have issues with anxiety are doing okay. I've been going to see my psychologist at least once a week for the last month. She has been tremendously helpful.

Tomorrow I have a review in one of the departments I am in at school. And while I know I will receive my master's degree, I am unsure if they will recommend my remaining in the department for the PhD. I am completely freaking the fuck out. I've actually been taking some xanax to cope, which I avoid except in the most dire of circumstances. Everything will work out. I'm already in the PhD program for another department, so in reality I'd only be losing funding and wouldn't have to leave school.

Just needed to vent for a moment, as I've exhausted the patience of most everyone I know. Must remember: the trick is to keep breathing.

[bottleblack]

I am completely freaking the fuck out. I've actually been taking some xanax to cope, which I avoid except in the most dire of circumstances.

period_monster I was just wondering why it is you avoid xanax? Is it because it has the potential to be highly addictive? Xanax is pretty much my life line, but I try not to take it more than maybe once every week or so, for that reason alone. I'm mostly afraid if my doctor sees that I need frequent re-fills then he will be more hesitant to give it to me.

My anxiety is not related to hypochondria, really. Mostly just completely irrational fear of embarassing situations happening to me. I will just start to feel it creeping in and surrounding me days, weeks, or even months before something that I am dreading. Something as simple as going to the in-laws for dinner. I am getting married in July, and I am already freaking out when I think of it! My heart leaps and heat goes up from my chest into my cheeks, flushing them with blood. I feel sick and have to go to the bathroom. Often I will be late for things because I will be stuck in the bathroom, or sitting on my bed trying to practice deep breathing. Eventually I will just reach for the xanax.

It can be debilitating for a social life! And makes me feel guilty for letting others around me down when I constantly cancel things because I am so anxious about them. I can't make myself go, but then I feel awful all day for not going. Then as a result of the guilt I get depressed and lay in bed.

*sigh*