[lowredmoon]

*bump* for skandelouslala

I had a ridiculous panic attack last week, ending up with me curled up in bed with the covers over my head, sobbing uncontrollably, and missing work.

of course, i had just been in a car accident the week before, in the middle of my last-ever undergraduate finals week, and i'm moving out of my apartment and back in with my parents...so it might have been warranted, for a change.

[skandelouslala]

I think the driving/fear of having no control thing makes a lot of sense. I haven't really speculated in depth what it may be with me, but I think that is a good starting point.

Anxiety hitting me during driving usually happens in two situations 1) If I have to drive somewhere very soon after getting up in the morning. If I'm still tired and not really "with it" yet the anxiety starts. I think it's because since I feel like I'm not fully awake yet I feel like I don't have as much control over the driving situation so the anxiety feels the need to kick in. In that case it doesn't matter if anybody is with me or not.

And 2) When I am driving alone a long distance either at night or in severe heavy traffic. Again the lack of control seems fitting. In heavy traffic, knowing I can't control other drivers..what if somebody does something stupid and hits me? Things like that.... At night it's a combo of the visibility thing... the fear that if something happened I'd be stranded (which doesn't make much sense seeing I do have a cell phone). I also have an irrational fear of getting pulled over even though I never speed or anything like that.

Ultimately...all stuff that I shouldn't be worrying about to an extent. At least not enough to produce such intense anxiety reactions.

If I really look at it I think that most of my biggest anxiety producing situations are those that I feel that I am not in control of. Or anything that causes me to feel like I could lose control..be it a situation or a feeling I experience. I can definitely pin point some situations like that when the anxiety has attacked but for me it doesn't explain some other anxious situations I have been...

Like the time I started experiencing an anxiety attack at the grocery store at like 11 o'clock at night for no reason. It was dead in there. I suppose it was building up while I was driving over there. I got in the store and just though omigawd I can't do this. I went back out to the car, chilled for 5-10 minutes...went back in and was fine.

It's crap like that...that people who have no idea about anxiety just think you're crazy for heh