[skandelouslala]

Thanks for that clarification cloverbee.

Effexor seems like something that has helped you a lot. I hope everything goes okay as you get off of it.

I have always wanted to get a grip on anxiety w/o the help of drugs if possible, but I figure if it ever gets to that point I'm certainly not above getting the help that I need.

I'm doing much better recently..I'm hoping it stays that way, but we'll see.

[cloverbee]

skandelouslala, an anxiety attack takes a huge amount of energy out of your body. the attack stimulates your sympathetic nervous system which releases tons of chemicals and prepares your body for fight/flight which take a lot of energy. I used to have really bad anxiety before I got on Effexor. the day I started it my anxiety left me and all I have are memories of times just like you describe. my heart used to skip beats and I would check my pulse constantly thinking I was going to have a heart attack. I would have trouble breathing and have asthma for days at a time. I would have a panic attack every time I went out to eat b/c I felt trapped in a restaurant. the dizziness is caused from you hyperventilating. You may not think that you are but if you start to get dizzy/tingly just remember to breathe. nowdays I am able to just sit and quietly observe my body and not let my mind get carried away. If my heart skips or I get dizzy I don't automatically go into panic mode, I just sit and think "hmmm...I'm dizzy, that's neat." and I move on. That's what Effexor allows me to do. Now I am getting off of it and hoping that my skills stay intact and that I am able to control it.
You mentioned the quiet moments as sometimes the most anxious. I used to sit quietly and chew my lip until it bled furiously. I couldn't consciously drum up anything wrong but I was reacting to something. It's hard living w/ anxiety but it's possible to get a grip on it. good luck.

[skandelouslala]

Karianne...I sourta think you got something with that "maybe our brains don't know what to do"...at least it seems that way sometimes, that's for sure. I definitely find myself more anxious at times that should be relaxing as well. I suppose maybe when we aren't concentrating on the other hundreds of things we have to do each day those "relaxing" times are when all the other thoughts come to us.

I definitely think about the "creating calm" thing and it has helped me at times. Trying to stay in the present physical moment helps as well... like this is what I can hear/see/feel(physically) at the moment. I stay away from any internal thoughts. I do it slowly too...so I have a few good minutes away from the anxiety... it really helps bring it down if you can escape it for just a couple minutes.

Ambercherry...I have a close friend who has anxiety/panic as well so she really understands too. We talk about it sometimes. I dare say that hers as been worse than mine though. She would get to the point where she truly believed that she was going to die. When she was like that though, I didn't really understand it then b/c I didn't have such issues with anxiety back then...it was so strange to see happen, but I understand it now even though I haven't gotten that bad really. I mean sure sometimes I do feel that I'm losing control or something bad is going to happen to me but not to the extent that she was about it. It was just scary to watch her go through it. So I guess in that respect, I'm lucky that it's not that bad. But now...I so understand and wish I could have been more understanding then.

As I've mentioned, Mr. Skan still doesn't really understand it. It's hard to explain it to him. He tries to listen and understand which I guess is all that he can really do and all that I can really ask of him. If I tell him I need him to sit with me for a bit or whatever, he's always there.

Speaking of the wiped out feeling after an attack...that has always baffled me. I mean why do we feel so exhausted afterwards? I mean it seems like an entire mental thing. I wonder why the effects are so physical?

I only obsessivly worry in the midst of an anxiety episode/attack. Otherwise I seem to be more of the type to brush things off/ignore issues until they can't be ignored any longer. I imagine that does little good for the anxiety in the long run huh? Heh.

Worrying is definitely not seperate from anxiety. If anything I think obsessive worry is one of the leading causes of anxiety.

I would say that 75% of my major anxiety attacks have been started by thinking about something that worries me. The other 25% by things such as a sensation that has reminded me of a previous anxiety attack which in turned started the worrying and then it spirals on.

[ambercherry]

me too - all i have to do is think about anxiety and bam! i'm anxious.
i will have to use that karianne - if my brain is able to create anxiety, it should be able to create calm.

and me too about the anxiety coming on at any time. i hate it. thankfully, or maybe, unfortunately, most of my friends experience anxiety/panic as well, so it's not difficult to find people who understand. i did have an ex, though, that didn't quite get it. and after an attack, i'd feel completely wiped-out and he would never quite understand why i had lost so much energy.

do any of you obsessively worry? i worry so much, over so many things. i'm wondering if that's separate from the anxiety or if other people with anxiety/panic worry a lot, too.

[karianne]

I think you guys are right, definitely. I guess with driving, losing control would likely result in consequences. That really heightens the anxiety. If I get anxiety while driving, it is on the interstate.

Skandelouslala, I think that is one of the irritating things about anxiety/panic...that it can come at any time. Times that don't make sense. Why does my anxiety tend to come when I am reading in bed before sleeping? That should be a nice, relaxing time. I wonder if it has something to do with overstimulation, like someone mentioned below. Are we so stimulated all the time that when we finally are some place quiet with nothing going on, our brains don't know what to do? Because I often feel that my brain is creating the anxiety. All I have to do is think about getting anxious, and then bingo, I am getting anxious. My brain seems to latch on to that one thought & perseverate on it. However, I've tried lately to use that phenomenon to my advantage. I think "well, if my brain is able to create anxiety, it should be able to create calm."

[skandelouslala]

I think the driving/fear of having no control thing makes a lot of sense. I haven't really speculated in depth what it may be with me, but I think that is a good starting point.

Anxiety hitting me during driving usually happens in two situations 1) If I have to drive somewhere very soon after getting up in the morning. If I'm still tired and not really "with it" yet the anxiety starts. I think it's because since I feel like I'm not fully awake yet I feel like I don't have as much control over the driving situation so the anxiety feels the need to kick in. In that case it doesn't matter if anybody is with me or not.

And 2) When I am driving alone a long distance either at night or in severe heavy traffic. Again the lack of control seems fitting. In heavy traffic, knowing I can't control other drivers..what if somebody does something stupid and hits me? Things like that.... At night it's a combo of the visibility thing... the fear that if something happened I'd be stranded (which doesn't make much sense seeing I do have a cell phone). I also have an irrational fear of getting pulled over even though I never speed or anything like that.

Ultimately...all stuff that I shouldn't be worrying about to an extent. At least not enough to produce such intense anxiety reactions.

If I really look at it I think that most of my biggest anxiety producing situations are those that I feel that I am not in control of. Or anything that causes me to feel like I could lose control..be it a situation or a feeling I experience. I can definitely pin point some situations like that when the anxiety has attacked but for me it doesn't explain some other anxious situations I have been...

Like the time I started experiencing an anxiety attack at the grocery store at like 11 o'clock at night for no reason. It was dead in there. I suppose it was building up while I was driving over there. I got in the store and just though omigawd I can't do this. I went back out to the car, chilled for 5-10 minutes...went back in and was fine.

It's crap like that...that people who have no idea about anxiety just think you're crazy for heh

[midgemcgrath]

about the driving/standing in a line anxiety, from what i have read and therapy it really is all due to a sense of having no control over the situation. for me, it seems this stems from a lack of belief in my ability to manage situations on my own, which in turn is from when i was younger and constantly being told that the choices i wanted to make were wrong, and being asked (by a hypochondriac parent) whether i was okay, making me doubt that i was okay.

that was kinda rambly, but i hope it made sense. i think the reasons why the loss of control creates anxiety can stem from different sources, but that is the general idea.

[laurenann]

aes5j - i grind my teeth like crazy at night. i bought a mouth guard at cvs for around $25, the kind you boil and let it melt around your teeth to fit. i chewed it up really good after a few weeks and it ended up falling out of my mouth halfway through the night. i've seen ads for fancy mouth guards for teeth grinding that cost like $100, i'm thinking of investing in one. my teeth and jaws hurt every morning too!

edit: oh, i was also thinking about asking my dentist next time i go for a cleaning if insurance covers anything like that. it's worth asking.

[ambercherry]

karianne, i don't know why driving seems to bring on anxiety or panic in others, i can only speculate on why it does that for me. and it usually only happens when i'm the driver, driving alone. though one time, my partner and i were stuck in traffic (not exactly stuck, but very slow moving) on a hot summer day heading into montreal - he was driving - and i had to close my eyes and focus on deep breathing a few times. i noticed it worse when we were between huge transport trucks and the concrete walls surrounding the highway - that feeling of being closed in.

for me, i think it's the fear of being stuck - not in control. and it happens more often when i am on a freeway (or whatever they're called). when i feel i can't just pull over or there are no near exits. and maybe it has something to do with the fact that i'm in a tiny car? i don't do well with very small, closed in spaces at times. sometimes they don't bother me, but sometimes they do. but i can't just get out of my car and leave (if stuck in traffic), and i think that bothers me.

in a similar situation - i was grocery shopping on a very busy day, i think it was boxing day - or around one of the holidays that stores aren't open for a few days, so everyone was shopping. i had a cart full of stuff and was waiting in line and i started feeling anxious - like i was going to faint. i couldn't just leave, because then i would be leaving a cart full of stuff for someone else to put away and people would get angry. and i had just spent all this time shopping in a crowded store, i didn't want to leave without my groceries. i managed to focus on a magazine while i waited, and i managed to get out of there without an attack.

but back to the driving - i have also been on highways driving to other cities and have felt panic - panic that i can't just stop and get out and leave my car - in the middle of nowhere.

sorry if this is long and doesn't make sense. so for me, i guess, it has something to do with being stuck. and closed in, perhaps?

[karianne]

oops, sorry.

[karianne]

Water helps me too.

It seems that driving is a common place to feel anxiety or panic. Has anyone read anything as to why that is?

[karianne]

Water helps me too.

It seems that driving is a common place to feel anxiety or panic. Has anyone read anything as to why that is?

[skandelouslala]

I've never had a problem with grinding my teeth or clinching my teeth at night although it seems like a lot of people around me under stress or anxiety complain of it.

Amber....I've also noticed that water helps. The last time I was on a long drive by myself and started feeling a little faint and anxious I stopped and got myself a huge bottle of water and chugged a bit of it. Helped immensely for some reason. Maybe b/c it helps get rid of that dry mouth/hard to swallow feeling that sometimes accomopanies me anyways with anxiety.

I try so hard not to let my anxiety to stop me from doing things that I want to do, would normally do, ect but sometimes it's hard.
Especially when you feel like you have to really go out on a limb just do some things most other people are nonchalant about.

[ambercherry]

aes5j, i also have that problem and have been wearing a mouthguard for years. only problem with that, is that i clench into my mouthguard, which, after many years, is starting to lose a little of its shape and is starting to feel uncomfy. and i had a friend who totally bit holes through hers.

i had another friend with a similar teeth-clenching problem (all my friends, it seems, have anxiety problems similar to me) and she was told to clench her teeth a bunch of times before going to bed - i guess to get the muscles tired out perhaps? and then she would be too tired to clench at night. not sure if that worked for her, but maybe if you exercised your jaw something that like and then massaged the muscles around your jaw and your temples? i don't know, just suggestions.

[aes5j]

I clench my teeth at night. So badly that I usually have dreams that my teeth are falling out and when I wake up my teeth and jaws are sore. I'm pretty sure that stress/anxiety are the biggest factor in my problem and then only advice I've gotten for it is to relax (oh thanks, that's really helpful) and buy a mouthguard to wear at night (which, judging by how I used to throw my nighttime retainer across the room when I was asleep when I had braces, won't work). Does anyone else deal with this and have any tips?

[ambercherry]

skandel, i am always worried i'm going to have anxiety attack or faint or passout when i'm driving.

last week, i went swimming for the first time in a very long time (first time exercising for a long time) and on the way home, i started feeling faint. it wasn't a long drive home, but i had a bottle of water with me - for some reason, having water with me helps me quite a bit. i didn't have any food, though, and i was feeling hungry. so, with the feelings of hunger and not having anything to munch on, i started feeling faint and then i started worrying that would just pass out while on the road. and it was a busy road, so i couldn't just pull over. my heart started racing and i started to feel that tight feeling on my skin - kind cold and hot. i managed to make it home and felt fine when i got there. but i hate those feelings.

if i am going to be stuck in traffic on the freeway (if i get on and notice it's slow-moving or whatever), i try to get off right away - the thought of being stuck in traffic terrifies me. especially when the weather is hot.

midge, anxiety support groups do exist - i had a friend who went to one. i can't remember if it helped her out, though. sorry.

[skandelouslala]

Glad to see the main thread and to know that I am not alone. Sometimes I feel terribly alone with it. Last fall in fact I seriously contemplated seeing someone about it (ended up chickening out and not going but got it under control myself for the time being) Anyways I tried to explain to my fiance what was going on with me and how I felt and all that stuff and he just had no idea what to say. It really did make me feel so alone b/c the person I love most and know loves me most in this world just couldn't even comprehend. I know it's not his fault though, as nobody can really understand unless they've been there.

I still vividly remember my first anxiety attack. I was 16, in the bathroom one morning at my dad's taking a pee and had a mild anxiety attack right then and there. I had no idea what was happening but thought I was about to lose control. Since then I've dealt with it on and off, but it has gotten considerably worse in the past 2 years.

The scariest freaking part about my anxiety is I'm prone to having anxiety attacks when I'm driving. Yeah, not good. At all.
I had a terrible one last summer driving back home from a friends..about 45 minutes from my home. I wasn't sure if I should pull to the side of the road but I was terrified of someone stopping or a cop pulling up or something and asking me what was wrong. I made it to a shopping center and parked until I cooled out enough to make it home in one piece. That one was the worse, because I was driving and all and so upset I felt like I was going to black out.

I've been getting better at handling them. I just remind myself that I can let this happen and know the outcome of it...which is nothing. All that worry and stress and the physical exhaustion from it and for what? Nothing.

At night I've been drinking Kava tea...supposed to be good for anxiety..at least it helps me sleep even if it is all in my head. Laying in bed the anxiety is usually the worst for some reason.

[karianne]

I am glad this thread is active again. I've been experiencing near panic attacks lately also. Like you, skandelouslala, my anxiety is also not currently accompanied by depression. And, the times I've experienced the most panic like symptoms are when I'm at home. I've noticed that mine seem to come when I am doing something that should be relaxing. Lying in bed reading a book, for instance. I just don't understand. Lately I have been doing a bit better with positive self talk & not letting the situation escalate. I think you have a good point there, midge about feeling incapable of handling the feelings. It has helped me to say to myself "ok, so what? so what if I have a panic attack? it's not going to kill me, everything will still be ok."

[midgemcgrath]

well, i went to therapy a whole bunch last summer and fall, and one of the main triggers i learned is when i feel incapable of handling whatever is happening, whether it be a specific situation or a whole bunch of big stuff. this is partly due to lack of self confidence, and just a lot of unnecessary negative self-talk type stuff.

but anyway, working on my confidence in my own abilities to handle situations is what has actually helped with it. but it might be challenging without going to therapy at all!

i wonder if either of you might find some kind of anxiety support group helpful...do those exist?

[datagirl]

A couple of weeks ago I was in Borders(the self help section would you believe) and just started nearly sobbing,which caused me to run out of the store.On the way to the car park I past people in the shopping centre and they all looked very blurry and I was petrified that they knew how crazy I was.When I got to the car I sat inside and just had to breath,deeply.Hard to do when I was nearly hyperventilating because I was crying so hard.The self help section in the store was centred on dating and surviving a break up.I'd just broken up with my fiance and so when I got to the car I called him.He cam right away and when he saw me he really calmed me down.This anxiety attack was scary with a lonely,sad feeling mixed in.