[kari]

period monster, thanks for pulling this thread back up...I was looking for it the other day as a matter of fact.

I'm glad you are feeling better. How did the review go?

[period_monster]

Back again, to report that the anxiety has lifted, at least for now. ((((other busties with anxiety))))

[period_monster]

I hope it's okay that I am resurrecting this thread. I like my OCD just fine, it's the anxiety that is getting to me. I hope all others who have issues with anxiety are doing okay. I've been going to see my psychologist at least once a week for the last month. She has been tremendously helpful.

Tomorrow I have a review in one of the departments I am in at school. And while I know I will receive my master's degree, I am unsure if they will recommend my remaining in the department for the PhD. I am completely freaking the fuck out. I've actually been taking some xanax to cope, which I avoid except in the most dire of circumstances. Everything will work out. I'm already in the PhD program for another department, so in reality I'd only be losing funding and wouldn't have to leave school.

Just needed to vent for a moment, as I've exhausted the patience of most everyone I know. Must remember: the trick is to keep breathing.

[mandolyn]

(((blanche))) i know how hard this will be for you, and i can well imagine what the anticipation is doing to you. i'll be sending all my copage vibage your way. try to focus on the kidlet (i know you always do), and you'll make it thru. and totally take another xanax tomorrow morning.

[EllaMinnowPea]

Dear fellow anxious Busties,

I hope you each manage to breathe calmly during the holiday season.

Sending you happy thoughts amidst the chaos of family and mall parking lots,
Me

P.S. Oh no! I rhymed!

[anoushh]

Mandolyn, that's good advice.

check out the library for books on coping with anxiety as well. There are some good ones out there. But that's not a substitute for a doctor.

[mandolyn]

yes, punkrockgrrl, alot of us are dealing with various levels of anxiety. but i'm sort of new to the game, so i'm reluctant to dole out advice, other than take some time to read back thru the archives in this thread. you may find valuable information, but at the very least, i promise that you won't feel so alone. you might want to read thru the depression thread archives also. unfortunately, i'm just now finding out that anxiety and depression seem to often go hand and hand. two sides of one coin.

ok, well, maybe i will dole out some advice: schedule a full physical asap. that's the best place to start, especially if you have a doctor you know, like and trust. that's the best place to start.

and for some immediate relief, there are many teas out there that can help you relax, especially before bedtime, when you're mind is most prone to race. my favorite is celestial seasonings tension tamer. i would also suggest going strictly decaf, if you haven't already.

hope this helps a little.

[punkrockgrrrl]

I've been dealing with anxiety on some level or other since high school... however I'm afraid that it's getting worse. I find myself lying in bed at night thinking about all of the "what if's" and worrying. My heart starts racing and I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack. I've never seen a doctor for anxiety and am not on any meds other than vitamins. Any one deal with this?

[pho#1]

hell yeah it's ok to consider an "easier" job. i wish i had walked out of a few of my crappy jobs in the past that made me miserable.
if they didn't train you or help you, that's their problem. don't feel guilty, try to move on and find something you're good at and like to do.

like, for me i eventually figured out that i prefer working with plants to people so that's what i'm doing now.

[mandolyn]

spiderella, working in food service is tough for people without issues, believe me! i've only hostessed & catered a few times, but it was enough to know that working in a restaurant and a bank is something i should never ever do. people and their money, and people and their food are lethal combinations. and the fast-paced pressure and i don't mix. even tho i'm good with people, i don't think fast on my feet. i panic easily.

i think babysteps is definitely the smaht way to go, and nothing to be ashamed about. maybe make a list of jobs you'd love to do, and then try to examine how realistically you'd fare in them. i bet you'll be surprised at what you think you're capable of. maybe a small bookstore (if any still exist!) or boutique.

tis one of the reasons i am mired in my job. i'm too chickenshit to leave my cozy, safe, non-pressured work environment for a "real job" with any kind of responsibility. and besides, i have no idea what i want to do. at my age, i can't just jump blindly anymore and hope it works out. this has got to be a well-thought out career change. talk about pressure!

and i can very much identify with the i-should-be-able-to-do-this mindset. i've been fighting my depression/anxiety for years, thinking i should be able to put on my big girl panties and just do it. one of the things that got me thru 9/11 was david letterman's very moving "pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing." and for the most part, it worked. or so i told myself. but not anymore. i'm only now recently coming to the realization that i need professional help. i just pray the specific issue i'm suffering thru right now is only temporary.

hope everyone else is hanging in.

[spiderella]

I have anxiety, and I've been wondering about something these past months...

I'm 19 (soon to be 20 - I can't believe it), and I had a job for a week at a cafe last August that just did me in. I had never worked before, I recieved zero training, I was always doing something wrong and nobody could help me - I just couldn't (or didn't want to?) handle it emotionally. I knew that food service would be a stressful job for someone with my problems, but I was desperate for a job. I went into it thinking that I "should" be able to do anything, because that's just what adults do...but was I wrong to think that? I feel guilty for having quit - I often think to myself that I should of just stuck it out (because, you know, that's what adults do). Other people have crap jobs all the time - why couldn't I do it?

I guess what I'm asking is, is it okay to take baby steps? Is it okay to say, "I should consider an 'easier' job?" Was it a bad idea to throw myself into a situation that I knew would suck? My approach has often been "all or nothing" (my choice usually being "nothing," because "all" is too scary), but I don't think it's really gotten me anywhere. Normally I would tell myself that I should be able to suck in my gut and do everything, or else I must be pathetic and weak - but I know that's just the depression-like symptoms talking, so I don't know what to think.

[persimmon_grrrl]

pho#1 and gogirlie-

it is so consumerist crazy, nonstop christmas carols, and really love-as-bought-stuff during this time.

holy days, much?

gogirlie, i can relate with the dog. last night, i was reading about this time last year, when my dog died. he was the sweetest dog ever (i guess everyone says that), and i cried about it, which felt really good. it had been a while since i'd thought of him. i grew up with him, so he'll always have a place in my heart.

[gogirlie]

I HATE it as well. This year is especially weird since I've had some car trouble am, planning a trip and it'll be one year since my beloved dog passed away. Oh, and to add insult to injury, Pittsburgh has been extremely warm. I love cold weather and haven't put a coat on in 5 days. I just want it to be cold and the holidays to be over so I can stay home and no one will care.

i absolutely HATE the whole xmas mania. the stupid commercials, the music, crowds of shopping people. i just try to ignore it as much as possible and wait for it to be over.

Luna, i'm exactly the same, i find it extremely difficult to be in social situations. my husband is a DJ so it has started to become a problem in our relationship. i start freaking out sometimes 3 days before a party and then usually have a panic attack right before going. stupid right? parties are supposed to be fun.

i've started getting acupuncture treatments and taking st. john's wort tincture regularly. it really seems to be helping, especially for sleeping.

[pho#1]

i absolutely HATE the whole xmas mania. the stupid commercials, the music, crowds of shopping people. i just try to ignore it as much as possible and wait for it to be over.

Luna, i'm exactly the same, i find it extremely difficult to be in social situations. my husband is a DJ so it has started to become a problem in our relationship. i start freaking out sometimes 3 days before a party and then usually have a panic attack right before going. stupid right? parties are supposed to be fun.

i've started getting acupuncture treatments and taking st. john's wort tincture regularly. it really seems to be helping, especially for sleeping.

[sassygrrl]

I have.

I started almost crying at work, because my family is making me crazy. I'm so anxious about the next month. I really don't want to go home, because I know that my parents will make a big deal about everything.

I had a massive panic attack at work (they were interviewing people at work, which in my paranoid mind, I thought they were firing me), which spiraled into a bad migrane. That caused me to leave at 2 pm.

My ibs is acting up as well, as is my face.... fuck.

[laurenann]

i actually get kind of manic and crazed during the holidays. i feel like i need to have fun and good cheer every day, and i get anxious about cramming everything in before the holidays are over and it is depressing january.

i get pissed that no one else i know loves christmas as much as i do, and my decorating and baking and thoughtful gift buying is not appreciated.

[gogirlie]

Has anyone else started the downward spiral of holiday depression yet?

[raisingirl]

Bumping this up since I've decided I'm queen of the neglected threads for tonight...

[midgemcgrath]

whew. i made it! got home last night, the trip was really fun, but the long day of travel on each end really takes it outta me! i ended up getting an interview for a job that i applied for right before leaving, but it's this afternoon! i feel so outta whack, and my ibs is totally acting up, so i am just trying not to stress out, and be zen...

think non-anxious thoughts for me around 2pmPST everyone!

[knorl05]

luna rock... makes complete sense. you're much too intelligent for mindless activities. dont be ashamed of it. simply find things that you enjoy. pursue your own interests so that you will not only be enjoying your life (genuinely) but also so you dont feel the need to engage in typical, predictable behavior. no matter how old you are, what matters here is that you are true to yourself. so you dont want to do stuff that is a waste of time and is unhealthy for you.. so what?