[msgoofball]

wow....that beats mine...luleey...you have got cajones for dropping exploding bombs outside in plain view. kudos...i think.

[luleey]

oh my cod...i usually just lurk here (i'm not a newbie, just post in the working grrls thread mostly) but all the pants-shitting stories made me long to share my own disgusting tale. so...
one day was feeling crappy all morning, stomach hurt, didn't know why, blah blah...though it could've been the bar food i ate the night before. finally got off work and headed into my car to go to my other job. on the way i started feeling even crappier so i stopped at a convenience store, bought a bottle of ginger ale and hopped back in the car, only to immediately be assaulted by killer i'm-gonna-poo-NOW cramps!! i just couldnt decide what to do...just start driving and poo my pants while doing it? scream at the convenience store clerk that i HAD to use their bathroom RIGHT NOW, and then probably shit my pants in front of him anyway? then i remembered i had a bunch of old plastic bags in the backseat. the rest, my friends, is history. i was just lucky to be done before the truck full of construction workers pulled up in the space next to me. it also helped i was wearing a long coat. i still had to clean my car afterward though, and needless to say, i called in sick to my other job. ;)
oh yeah, and it turned out to be some kind of stomach flu. heh!
{{re-lurks}}

[girlygirlgag]

I call explosive bowels, a "rumble in the Bronx, southside". I have Chrohns, it happens a lot.

[bklynhermit]

oooh, cheerios, that's good.

[gogirlie]

I had a lot of luck with the glue traps for my mouse visitors this past winter. They love peanut butter too. I hope it helps and they you just have to throw away the whole tray and not wait for the mouse to die somewhere.

[lurvpaint]

oh! Welcome back Miss PK! poor girls with the explosive bowels. I can't remember if I have shared my favorite friend's awesome nylon crapping story.

PK are you allergic to the cats? If not, they say cats with big ears are the best hunters....

nothing particuarly gross to report.

[zora]

Pssst- Get cheerios and place them on the trap. Make sure you hook it into the part that spings the trap. The mouse will have to remove the cheerio in order to eat it and the trap will spring. Works every time.

[quietmadness]

Puppykitty: Have shit myself like 8 times as an adult.
You are NOT alone.

Had a "gastric bypass" 10 years ago, and it literally almost killed me 4 different times. I was clinically dead on the table the 3rd time. FUCK a gastric bypass, is all I can say.

ANYWAY--I was in the car once, on the way home. All of a sudden, I get the mad cramping that tells you of an imposing bowel-related explosion-to-be.

Yeah. I passed through light after light. Stop sign, and curves. All the while, I'm developing the "white-knuckle-syndrome" that would normally accompany such an event in one's life.

I could just tell, it was ALL watery and explosive. Finally, like 3/4 of a mile from my house, it happened.

The shit. It just sorta like spewed forth from my tightly clenched ass. Through the jeans. Into the seat. Down the legs.

Yeah.
Been there...

[herculesgirl]

Puppykitty: yes. Yes I am.

[puppykitty]

Yikes - that sounds like some kind of mouse mutant. It is intelligent and nigh invulnerable!

I hope my mouse is dead today. I'm not looking forward to finding its remains, but I'm also not looking forward to seeing it come scampering out at around 8:00 tonight. Keep your fingers crossed guys.

Oh - one more gross thing I forgot to report. Last Thursday, my friends and I went to a Mexican border town to raise a ruckus. We shopped for a while, then went to a nice restaurant with cute waiters who served us many many shots of tequila on top of margarita after margarita. I wasn't that hungry, so all I ate was some queso fundido with chorizo and tortillas. For those who don't know, it is an appetizer of gooey melted cheese topped with extra greasy spicy sausage.

The next day I was expecting a huge hangover. I woke up fine, and took a shower and got my uniform on for work (I'm a pastry cook). I was a little bit early, so I went to Walgreen's to pick up a prescription. Just as I was walking toward the exit, I felt a great amount of turbulence in my lower gut. I walked faster, but there was nothing I could do.

I shit my pants in the Walgreen's.

It was bad. It soaked through my pants and was running down my leg. I then had to *sit* in my car and drive home to change and clean up. That was awful. I was so scared that I would soak my car seat with liquid crap.

I got home and stripped down and cleaned up, and it was worse than I had imagined. Runny rust colored pudding with seeds in it. Where the hell did the seeds come from?

So, yes, I shit my pants. There. Are you happy?

[bklynhermit]

i secretly think mice are cute, but ON YOUR FACE! oh my. this is precisely why, when i had to replace my futon last year, i made sure to get something involving a bedframe.

this also gives me an oppurtunity to relate my recent mouse woes, which aren't so much gross as extremely annoying. my apartment has a mouse. my roommate and i put out poison. we noticed something was eating the poison. we laughed with evil glee, yes, soon, our mousie will be dead.

nothing happened. the mouse actually got bigger and fatter and healthier!

so we bought the snapping traps of inhumane death. i spread four traps liberally with peanut butter and put them in mousie's favorite spots. the next day, all four traps had been LICKED CLEAN of peanut butter, without setting off a single one.

this mouse is smarter than i am. we should just start charging it rent.

[lady_ell]

*shudder*

mice are things that seriously make me want to scream and cry and curl into a little ball.

[herculesgirl]

OMG Puppykitty! The mouse climbed onto your FACE...yikes!

[puppykitty]

Hi guys! I have returned to the bustie world with something a little bit gross to share.

I moved into a new apartment on Thursday. I spent my first night here on Friday - no problems. Saturday night I went out and get a little tipsy and came home at about 4:00 AM and decided to read for a little while. While I was reading, I detected movement in the corner of my eye. I looked up from my book and saw a little round gray mouse scurrying around my bedroom. I screamed and threw my book and was really quite shaken up. I was tired but afraid to sleep because I heard it rustling around in my kitchen.

I finally didn't hear anything for a long time, so I shut off my light and tried to sleep, all the while jumping at the slightest sound.

I drifted away to sleep, but then I felt someting on my neck, and the mousey climbed onto my cheek!!!!!

I grabbed that motherfucker and tossed it against the wall, and it ran back into my bed and scurried across my legs back into the kitchen. (My bed is a mattress on the floor)

I finally fell asleep after the sun came up.

The next day (yesterday), I phoned the apartment maintenance and told them about the mouse. They couldn't do anything until Monday, so I went to the store and bought some traps and poison pellets. Poor little duder. But he's got to go.

When I got home from the store, the little mousey was out exploring and scurrying about. I carefully put the traps next to his favorite hiding places and placed the poison pellets nearby.

I later heard som munching - maybe - just maybe some munching. The mousey then ran off into my pile of clothes on my bedroom floor. I'm such an idiot!

Now the mouse will eat (or already ate) the poison and will die in my messy bedroom where I won't find his decomposing corpse!

I spent the night at my friend's house last night to avoid getting too close to my visitor, and today I haven't see it yet. I just hope it crawls into a convenient-for-me hidey hole to die. I regret those poison pellets now. Shit.

[herculesgirl]

A sneeze snuck up on me today before I had a chance to grab a tissue, and I sneezed a great big yellowish warm loogie into my bare hand (had a touch of a cold recently). It was SO gross, I felt the need to share.

[msgoofball]

this morning, mr. gb asked for tweezers...says he's got a zit inside his nose....so automatically i perk up and say 'oh is that so?' so i have a try at it but its in such a precarious place that i am nervous....

so i hand off the tweezers...turns out there are 2 pustules....to which he squeezes with no fan fare...i pass a q-tip...he dabs...and he's done. thats it. but when i looked at his eyes, one was watery..so i know that it hurt...poor babe...

[girlygirlgag]

Hey, bklyn, Hello Pot, this is kettle!

If you can't take that somebody might think your sexual perversions are weird and nasty, you get out of the kitchen! Who died and made you the BUST police, you have balls for being a newbie. In all my years here, I have never seen anyone call out like you did in the Gross thread. I have been here for almost four years, that's a long time, so congrats!

[funnybird]

Okay, I've been meaning to post about this for ages. The London borough we live in is big on re-cycling, and has recently starting collecting food waste from residents for use in a giant communal compost/wormery. We have these small plastic buckets with carbon filters (to keep smells in) in the lids for the kitchen, and larger containers with lids to empty them into, which are left outside for collection by the council. It's a great idea; very green and ethical, and the carbon filters are very effective, but if not emptied frequently enough (and our's never is) the results are often spectacular. The other day the Boy opened the container in the kitchen to deposit some orange peel, and discovered that the contents were steaming and had grown a huge fuzzy coat of mould which looked like fur. We thought about naming it; it was probably the closest thing we'll have to a pet! Also, I must mention the the smell at emptying out time; it's like the vomit of someone who's been eating shit. I have to hold my breath while I'm doing it. I'd love to know where it goes after it's been collected. Imagine how stinky that must be!