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freckleface2727
post Jun 14 2006, 02:31 PM
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pepper that is hysterical!!

and maybe I'll be sorry to ask, but did he ever explain to you why he had put a bandaid there in the first place?


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pepper
post Jun 14 2006, 11:10 AM
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ok, i'ma gonna hop right in and tell y'all a story 'bout my five year old.

the other day we got up as usual and started our routine of the day. i brought him breakfast and turned on some cartoons (he watches about 20 minutes in the AM so i can get us ready to go) and laid out some clothes for him to put on. he's usually pretty good about eating and getting himself dressed and we have Minimal time in the morning because we leave the house by 7:30. so when i went into his bedroom to check up and when he was still sitting there in his pj's i freaked a little. i said "hey, why aren't you dressed already?" and he just looked at me with his eyes all big but wouldn't budge. i ended up going over and starting to pull off his jammies myself to quickly throw him into his clothes but as soon as him bottoms came down he grabbed his willy and would not let go. i'm starting to get worried at this point and saying "let me see... are you hurt..." etc. the look on his face, i just couldn't figure it out. finally i get his hand off and what does he have there but a scooby doo bandaid that he's firmly plastered all the way round himself with the edges overlapping. of course he's been squeezing himself to hide it from me and, well, the bandaid at this point has gotten a little "snug" shall we say. oh my, i hardly knew whether to laugh or cry. poor little bugger, he had that thing on all night.

needless to say, we took a taxi that morning and he hasn't gotten into the bandages since. kids are so funny.
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berenguela
post Jun 14 2006, 10:30 AM
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Hi bustie moms and wise mom-friends!
freckle, yeah, i think I would just drop it with the pastor guy. He doesn't like you; that's his problem . He may make it his daughter's problem in which case it will become frecklette's problem but there's really nothing you can do about that. You did the right thing; I absolutely would not leave a child in an empty house. And if I needed my child to be home by 11:30 and he wasn't there by 11:45, I'd call! I don't know why they didn't. Weird. What kind of church is he a pastor of?

littleb has been doing "growth and human development" in school aka sex ed and has been coming home with all sorts of interesting information about erections and things. I'm glad he is learning this while he is still young enough to feel comfortable talking to me.

Oh yeah, and I don't think I told you, but we're pulling him out of his fancy (subsidized) private school -- he got into a gifted program at a public school. Yay, littleb! I'm glad because I never really liked his school much. He's excited about the new place and he already has one friend in his class.

voodoo_princess, in case you stop by, just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. There was a letter in Dan Savage last week which sounded just like your situation.
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moxiegirl
post Jun 14 2006, 05:35 AM
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frek- i really, really hope when moxette is a tween, teen, adult, whatever, that i have the guts to talk openly with her. its the single greatest gift you can give her. so, soapbox away!!
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freckleface2727
post Jun 13 2006, 06:57 PM
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tyger, I think you are right. they/HE just doesn't like me for whatever reason, though I've been playing it over & over in my head at the time I first noticed it, which was when freck & I had driven the girl home from a play date, and got caught in *THE' scariest storm EVER* (tree's flyin',hazzard lights on, wanted to pull over but couldn't seen enough even to do so) and by the time we pulled into their drive, it was monsooning and I was shaken & knew we needed to wait out the rest before we drove home again.
her dad was on the porch, and when the 3 of us ran up there, I asked him if it was ok to stay a few minutes, to which he held open the front door but Didn't Speak. right at that moment, I felt his hostility. he didn't speak the 15 or 20 minutes we were in their house either, but his wife was really sweet. .. I've been rolling it over my head, trying to remember if I had run to the porch & yelled " well HOLY FUCK!!!" which is something akin to what I was feeling right then, but nope. I asked frecklette too and think she'd remember something like that, so honestly, I don't know.
it's bugging me though. not that I Have to be liked, no, don't care that much, but this is someone in Freck's life, and so it Does matter, bc we interact w/ them often.
gah. I wonder if I mentioned it to his wife ?
(that, or will deliberately wear my Stones t-shirt & fishnet longshirt under it next time I know I'll see them... disapprove of ME..!)

and yah, me to on the no-sex-talk.
I got a book, by kotex I think it was, a bookLet moreover. on periods and pad sizes, and a little starter kit to go w/it w/ the waist band to fasten them too. and my first bra, my mom shoved me & my sister in a bedroom and told her to tell me how to put it on. that was it.
to this day I think I put them on funny bc that's how she showed me, maybe on purpose.
as to actual intercourse, that was taught in school w/ a film for all the 6th grade girls to watch in the library, w/ the school nurse.
giving my mom the benefit of the doubt, I'll assume she knew what Exactly was taught (having an older sister gone thru already) & she felt it was enough.
I on the other hand, KNOW it's not enough, and wanted to check out the sex ed curiculum the school was teaching. our state has an Abstinence Only Teaching Policy on that. I don't agree and know/feel it needs to go more involved.
I don't ever want frecklette to not know what's going on w/ her body, even if it's uncomfortable for me to talk about. the more we talk ( & yes, this is the easy stuffs still) the better the communication. I'm not trying to be the "cool mom" but I'd rather be accessible to her friends in that way too, or even so I know She is passing on the right actual info to her friends, you know?

I'm sorry, I'm always on a soapbox! :x!!


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tyger
post Jun 13 2006, 02:55 PM
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freck, i get the feeling that maybe her parents disapprove of you/your house for some reason, and are being passive-aggressive about it? (the holey clothes seem to say that, anyway). but, if her parents take it out on *her* that you didn't want to take her home to an empty house, then that is their problem and not yours. if she's been over before, wouldn't they know you like to call and check before taking a child home to make sure that something hasn't happened and nobody is home? i can't see how a parent wouldn't appreciate the courtesy of double-checking to make sure there were people to come home to. really, it just sounds like they want reasons not to like you.

also, congrats on the sex talkin! i never got a sex talk, come to think of it, or maybe i did when i was little and wanted to know where babies came from. or i could have just blocked it out, as i know i always knew how it worked but don't know where i learned it. heh. but good for you! i can't see those talks being funtastic
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freckleface2727
post Jun 13 2006, 01:00 PM
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ok I have a kinda gripey question to pose here...

freck had 2 friends stay over friday night to celebrate the last day of school.
the Mr had the brainstorm idea of setting up the tent in the backyard & letting them "camp out", and we got the permission of the other parents w/ them understanding I'd be sleeping on the sofa in the living room, just about 15 feet & thru the french door to where they are. I did this. about 2 Am gave them a cordless phone bc I remembered it had a walkie-talkie channel to it and was easier than signaling w/ flashlights.
I ended up staying up literally ALL NIGHT to watch over them. but no biggee, bc they had a Great time & were so fabulously good about not coming in & out as I had asked but expected anyway.
the next morning, one girl, who had already told us she had to be home by 11:30 Am ( we picked her up of course, bc they have 4 kids so I feel I might be helping by offerering to fetch & drop off each time), I told her to call her house 1st before we left, just to be sure. the other girl (who lives down & around the corner) was told to call too.
this is just standard practice for us.

well there was no answer.
called her mom's cell. no. dad's cell too, nada.
told her to wait alittle while & call again bc we weren't going to drop her off at an empty home.

after about 45 minutes I finally reached her father (who is a pastor & for the last few months has been acting hostilly towards me but for the life of me can't figure out why), and he told me they'd been home all along, but outside. seemed mad. I explained we thought they weren't home & it was Our Fault for her being late & we'd be on our way soon. said he understood but when the phone had rang, he got to it too late. - and what then- didn't see it was us on caller id? didn't Occure to him to Call BACK & see what we/ maybe His Own Daughter wanted?

so we took her home.
then freck tells me her friend was mad at me bc she was going to be in so much trouble now, for being late.

I ask you - who is right?
do I call the parents back & ask them not to be mad at their daughter bc trully it was not in her control?
freck loves this girl and we think the world of her too, but her family is getting weirder and weirder. they also have told their girl to wear old clothes to our house, bc of the dog hair, and sure enough, she now shows up in ratty, holy clothes.
it is Embarrassing and annoying to say the least!
no, my house isn't spotless; getting the dog Has been a life-mellowing experience in terms of my standards for cleanliness, bc he sheds constantly, but we hardly have roaches or bugs either.
I really would just like to call this father up & have it out w/ him on the phone, pastor or not, but fear it would ruin the friendship of the 2 girls.
advice? comments?

things here are ok.
"summer" is officially here for frecklette & so far we've cleaned, gone to the library & the ortho & that's about it.
she's saying now she wants to go to TN to the family now, but the mr & I haven't discussed it yet.

we recently got news on another upcoming deployment, but I'm still trying to process what the Mr told me, and am still hoping & praying daily we get orders the hell out of here.

gah!

Mama's check in pleassssssssssse!! :-)


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moxiegirl
post May 30 2006, 06:40 AM
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Frek- what a champ! I think, as I'm thinking about what kind of mother I want to be, that my biggest "job" is to help moxette learn to make choices. It sounds a whole lot like you're doing just that with frek. Awesome! And, it wasn't until I was pregnant with moxette that my mom fessed up to having a couple of "scares" before she met my dad. So, there's no rush on that front! :-)
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freckleface2727
post May 25 2006, 05:36 PM
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I did it again. ( & am rather proud of myself :-)

I talked to frecklette about sex.

there was a special on a local newschannel about it, w/ teen mentors & teen mothers & fathers and I made her watch it with me, discussing it before, during and after.
she was very much " MOM. Can I GO now?" but still, each time we discuss it, I do believe it gets a little less awkward and easier. granted, we didn't go into any specific detail, beyond me asking her (again) if she'd kissed a boy, or if any of her friends had yet, or if they wanted to, or talked about it (she blushed then so I know it's on their minds)or if the kids at school talked about sex (straight faced eye contact answer of 'no.' whewww!)but we're paving the road for later on I hope. for when there Are issues and situations that she may be unsure of, that she can come to me. I told her I might not always like her choices, but that if she's going to do something, I'd rather her be safe about it than put herself at risk for a sexual disease or getting pregnant. I also told her that this didn't mean that I wanted her to have sex any time soon, that I thought she should wait ( she is only 12, but looks 14 easy) til she is MUCH older ( I was 19, but she doesn't know that yet, will tell her when it's appropriate or she asks), but again, safe is better regardless.

the mr feels abstinence is the ONLY WAY Period, but I feel that is naieve. I don't want her to go thru what I did, not having health insurance and driving thru protesters at planned parenthood screaming "BABY KILLER!!" at me.
I want her to get whatever medical care she needs Safely & with our support, whatever she decides.

gah but this is hard.
parenting is just so much more than ever could be fathomed, and I really think the older the kids get, the more important it is to give the right answers to them, and the more difficult it is to know what those are as parents sometimes.

= thinking out loud =

peace & love ~

ps: I registered online today to be a Polly Klass Foundation eVolunteer, and also to put up posters of missing children.


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voodoo_princess
post May 22 2006, 03:51 PM
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Ivy's birthday was a success even though it rained(it ALWAYS does) and we had to cram everyone into the apartment.... OMG there were people everywhere and kids all over the place eating and drinking and playing.... an absolute nightmare for me and my super duper anal personality.... i kept checking out how much fried chicken and potato chips were being dropped on the floor and trying to keep smiling about it (AAAUUUGGGHHH!) i was sooooo itching to bust out the vaccum!
Ivy got tons of cool stuff and really had a great time, so all went well! And the Mr. invited one of his employees who Ivy has a huge little-girl crush on, so she was thrilled that he showed up with his GF's kids in tow....

on a somewhat funny note.... Ivy decided she's GAY. she announced this the other night. i asked her what she thought that meant and she said it was "like the color of your skin mommy" and i had to explain that she wasn't quite right. i tried to explain on a 5 year old level and then she decided that maybe she's not gay right now afterall. i just told her it's whatever makes her happy but since she's only 5 i figure she has a few more years to really know what makes her happy on any level.... kids just say the darn'dest things...
schools almost out so we're getting ready for SUMMER! planning a trip to BeechBend Amusement/ Water Park in 2 more weeks and our apartment pool opens next weekend! Woohoo! Looking forward to hearing about everyone's summer plans.....
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freckleface2727
post May 22 2006, 02:24 PM
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ok ok catch up time!!

Frecklette's b-day was good.
she did the sleepover/meeting/fun stuff and LOVES her cd headset. except that it seems to up her rude & mouthiness-factor by about a zillion, it's all good. still can't believe she is 12 :-(

this saturday though.. milestones in several areas.
taught her how to shave her legs. (sigh)
we both wore shorts and climbed into her tub, balancing on the edge, fresh razors, shave cream, all of it, and damned if the little fart didn't do a better job than I did after I showed her?
I knicked myself deep! I wish so much there was a manual on how to teach all this, bc trully, while I know I am light years ahead of my own mother, I feel so much in the dark at the same time. puberty and sex and body image and confidence and personal acceptance.. it's a LOT!

the night before we did the bathingsuit try on.. she said ' mom I hate this' and bless her heart but don't we all? it's hard to keep a positive body image when trying on swimsuits and you're not a size 2.
her team had an end of year party at the sponsors house and they had a dunking booth, so there was no way she could Not have a suit to wear.

anyway, the party was great fun (her crush was there & he's a cute, nice kid), and when we came home, she & I got to talk to Rupert from Survivor on the phone!! he is the coolest, sweetest man and we can't wait for his book to come out.
we plan on donating a copy to her school's library
too (are extra hopeful we get a signed copy to keep for ourselves 1st!) bc the team she is on is an academic reading team.

and let's see.. not much else going on.. a lot but not really anything, you know?

I am proctoring at freck's school the next 3 days for the dreaded EOG's, but won't be in her class, and I guess that's about it!

how is everyone else?

voodoo how was your wee-ish girl's birthday?
5 is such a sweet age (wistful siiigh).

updates- anything? :-)


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voodoo_princess
post Apr 29 2006, 07:02 AM
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beren - Thanks! and yes it's my girly girl who's having the birthday! She is still a wee one, I suppose, but she don't think so! 5 years old this time around.....
freckleface - woohoo! Happy B-day Frecklette!
everybody - We got my girly girl 2 outfits which I thought were rockin' cool.... crinkley, light material skirts about mid calf length, with layered tank tops (pink skirt w/ dk. pink on lt. pink tank and brown skirt w/ olive grn. on white tank) and these long, narrow scarf / neck wrap thingys that she can wrap around here neck and let hang down the front or back depending on how she wraps it and a pair of strappy slip on flip flop type shoes that are kinda styled like a weird Birkenstock shoe..... they have pink suede straps and the footbed has pink and yellow and cream colored color splashes. Also got her one of those electronic journal thingys that has voice recognition so she is the only one who can open it with her set password. She pushes a button on front and then speaks into the built in microphone and it's suppose to open when it reads her voice. It's shades of purple and the outer case is hard. It's pretty neato!
We ordered a cake this year since she has never had a "store" cake. We got chocolate cake with pink and purple tie-dye icing and purple roses and some Barbie thing. We also ordered 40 pcs of fried chicken and are having potato salad, cole slaw, chips, pop and sliced potato bread (to serve the chicken on, you guys ever heard of that? We do it so the bread absorbs the grease. You just plunk the piece of chicken down on top the bread on a plate and serve!) We are suppose to be going to the park and having this feast under the pavilion, IF it does not rain!
I am going to look into the IEP books for sure FRECKLEFACE, thanks for the heads up! And about Parochial school, are those faith based? For some reason I thought they were. I think if it is something you can afford (is there a cost?) then go for it. A little one on one attention in school never hurt a child and it might be just the thing that's needed. When I start working again we will be in better shape to do some more things for my big boy, on our own, so SCREW the school!!!!!! Well, screw em' when I can afford to anyways, hee hee hee. Until then I guess I got to be nice and friendly, BOOOOOO! HHHIISSSSS!
Well friends, I have to get ready to go bowling. Friends children are having B-day today too so we're bowling with them. We are gonna' be birthday'd out by the end of the weekend!
Happy weekend everyone!
Love and Hugs!!!!!!!!
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freckleface2727
post Apr 29 2006, 06:32 AM
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12!
my BABY Girl is 12 today.

not dealing well w/ this at all...
it's all I can do not to grab her forcibly and hug the snot out of her but every time I come near her she rolls her eyes.

:-(

but she's beautiful and strong and smart and healthy and that's what matters, mother's hearts are made extra durable for times like this .

much love to all~


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freckleface2727
post Apr 28 2006, 11:28 AM
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voodoo it's frecklette's 12th b-day (!!!) sat too but we're having her friend stay over tonight, and baking cupcakes for the girls to take to their Battle of the Books (which is going to State!) club sat and after that, she doesn't know yet. her day, her plans but at 6:01 pm I am going to beat her rudy-poo- fangdangler (what we refer to bottom as sometimes bc we're goofy, lol)bc that's when she Finally made her royal appearance :-)

just finished wrapping presents.. which is a FireAntz ice hockey practice jersey (her biggee bc it was $$!), a cd headset, book (always always wants books more than anything else), monkey holding an umbrella bank,shoes she probly won't like, and the Dream Life game she had gotten originally for Xmas but had it broken & we just found it again a few weeks ago.

at one time we were going to let her have a big party but then she mouthed off too many times and her dad said XXXX! just as well bc I don't think I'm up for that w/ "boys" being in all this now. gah gah.

bought a book on raising a Strong Willed Child the other day & already it's very insightful and am hopeful to learn some better parenting techniques for her. she's a good kid when she's not driving me crazi w/her mouth.

the peds office called and no, our insurance won't pay for any outside tutoring resources, so once again are on our own.
someone suggested parochial (sp) school tho, w/ smaller class sizes for more 1-1 attention..
anyone here know anything about it? pro's? con's?

voodoo there are books on IEP stratagies in the bookstore. didn't know those exsisted but thought of you. might be worth looking into over the summer as you arm yourself? was in w/ the books on autism and add but can't remember what the section was.

ok, sorry to Always write so much here!
blabby blabby!

Extra Special Birthday Wishes to little voodoo-ina!

hugs to all the rest of ya's too! :-)


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berenguela
post Apr 28 2006, 10:52 AM
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Happy B-day voodooprince(ess?)ling!
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voodoo_princess
post Apr 28 2006, 06:34 AM
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Mom's must be busy this week.... See everyone soon? Have a great weekend! It's my youngest ones B-Day Sunday, so we're gonna party party party!
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voodoo_princess
post Apr 23 2006, 08:12 PM
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beren - thanks.... you're 2 cents is worth so much more than that, and I totally agree with you. We are wrapping up the school year now but I have all summer to plan my moves for next year and the first thing we're doing is having new testing throught the school and a 504 meeting, whether they want to "fill out the paperwork" or not..... I hate to have to make threats and such, but if I get jerked around next year, I'll call in the big guns.

OH, and I would definitely do a Mother's Day swap thing..... just let me know what year everyone wants to get it started.
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berenguela
post Apr 23 2006, 07:51 PM
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I do like the mother's day idea...maybe next year, as you say damona.

littleb tried ritalin once. He ended up naked and weeping in his closet (I guess once he crashed) --- terrified me, but he got over it quickly. He was on Adderall most of last summer, but we stopped when school started again. He has a teacher who likes him but is firm with him this year, and strong structure helps him discipline himself. He's always been fine at home.

voodoo, I do think your school is messing around with you. I think it would be very much in your son's interest, now he has the "label" of adhd at school, to get some of the benefits of it, ie. either a 504 or a IEP that spells out what he needs and what the school has to provide to meet his needs. It's the law --- that *have* to make provision for him in this way. You shouldn't need a lawyer. The school just doesn't want anything in writing (it seems to me). My 2 cents.
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voodoo_princess
post Apr 23 2006, 04:45 PM
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damona - strattera huh? I think I'm going to look into that. My son is on Adderall but he started out on a low dose years ago and is only at 20mg now and weighs 140 lbs..... big difference from your son's 40 lbs. Some doctors just amaze me with their bad judgment. My son does not have ANY insurance and I have to pay for his psychiatrist and meds and the GENERIC Adderall costs $120.00 per month. That's why I figure we could look into Straterra, it costs about the same as what I am having to pay anyway. And I don't have an insurance company telling me what he can or can't have (though I WISH like mad he DID have insurance)..... the whole stimulant free thing sounds better that the Adderall. Even tho Adderall is not the same type of med as Ritalin (we tried it too) it still is a bit harsh. Sometimes I just worry that I'm frying his brain, but I also think of how he was without the meds and how much he missed out on...... I just don't know.
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damona
post Apr 23 2006, 02:52 PM
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i've been trying to read and keep up, but it's hard to do w/o my own computer, just a cell phone!

the mothers day idea went over like screen doors on a submarine i guess, so maybe we could give it a shot next year? with much more advanced planning? the way it worked on the other board i was on was... all the participents emailed one central person with their name and address and fave colour, hobby, snack, scent... just a few things like that. we didn't put a dollar limit on it, but it was all pretty inexpensive stuff. in my pkg i got a vanilla candle, a purple pen and little diary-type book, a snack baggie of cheez-its, some incense and a handmade card. the pkg i sent (to a different girl) had.... rose scented soap, a pink candle, rose bubble bath, a book, a chocolate bar and a card. and then after we had all got our pkgs, we posted what we got and who it was from (which was secret until then, only the central person knew who was recieving from whom). anyway, it was pretty cool. i love getting stuff in the mail! but like i said, maybe next year...

just real quick here... about the whole add/adhd/meds thing... my oldest son is adhd. i didn't want to put him on meds, and i held out for awhile, but it got to a point where he was just acting up constantly and there was no peaces at home or at school. that was last year. this year, he's doing really good in school, and i don't even give him his pill before schoo now! BUT at home, he's just awful. picking fights with his brothers, doing stuff he knows he's not allowed, dissappearing on me for hours instead of checking in like he's supposed to... i was losing my mind. he would tell me "i can't stop myself, my brain tells me i have to!" which kinda sounded like a cop-out to me, but the kid shrink says that that's a common way for kids to express their emotions. so i tried giving him his pill after school. and now, lie is more peaceful! granted, he's still a wacky kid, but his pills (stratterra) seem to help him slow down just enough to think things through instead of going with impulses.

the stratterra is a non-stimulant drug though. we tried him on adderall and it damn near killed him. i'm not kidding. the dr gave him 20mg pills he only weighed 40 pounds!! he was in hospital for 2 days after that. i was severely pissed. the dr should have started him on a 5mg dose and worked up if needed. i had a war w/ the insurance over getting the stratterra, but i won (HA!) it's $113.45 a month. isn't that awful? his dr (a different one, i refuse to see that other one ever again) says that he should be getting 35mg/day now, instead of 25mg/day, but the insurance won't pay for it. i'm starting that fight now...


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