[onyva]

I have a question.. *sigh*

I have a very high sex drive. I think about sex all the time, I masturbate regularly, I have several regular partners I see, I write erotica... let's just say I'm a sexual person, and have been since I hit puberty.

However, I have been single a *very* long time (measured in years) and most of that time I was basically celibate... I lucked into a few one-night stands but was terrible at picking up, so I just ended up incredibly sexually frustrated. For weeks I wouldn't even masturbate because I was just in hibernation and I hated it.

Before I found myself in this situation, I was in a number of relationships and had had lots of great sex, and never had any trouble orgasming during sex.

But now that I am sexually active again, and my sex drive is pumped and I have access to several fantastic lovers, I can not seem to orgasm.

Oh sure, I can come when I masturbate. It's slower than I can remember it ever being, but it'll happen. But when I'm with a partner, nada. I've come with a partner twice in the past four months. They can get me right to the verge -- delirious, screaming pleasure, but I can't get over the edge. They are very accommodating -- they'll happilly eat pussy forever or get into my favourite positions on command, incorporate the same vibrators I use successfully on my own -- but I eventually start to become very conscious that I've gotten almost to climax and then not come, that I've reached my 'peak' and am declining, and then I start to get fed up.

Nothing's changed for me recently -- no new meds, and I exercise and eat well. I have a vivid fantasy life and I am very comfortable with and familiar with my body. I have NO EXPLANATION for why this is happening, except that I used to have some elusive skill in climaxing that I lost by going without sex for so long.

Can anyone sympathise/advise/help??

[olhakadirf]

has anyone here had a D&C and uterine ablation? I had both done on the 14th and i'm not sure if i can continue now with sexual activity or even masterbating, I'm afraid it might hurt and I don't see the doctor for another 5 or 6 days, so if anyone has any info I would really really appreciate it!! 'cause it feels like it's been forever

[maimy]

Oh, Venetia, you actually, literally, got me laughing out loud on that one! *Grin*

[theredhead]

Maximus is totally fine to use with condoms. And you're totally right about it being great for anal -- it's really thick and cushiony and long-lasting, with no glycerin (so it doesn't get sticky).

[lucizoe]

maximus lube is the freaking BEST...Toys in Babeland sells it right next to all their anal toys (ahem), and I love it...

don't know about using it with condoms though

[theredhead]

Lamskin protects against pregnancy, but not against STIs.

[venetia]

AFAIK it doesn't.

I prefer spit too, though not after eating chili or hot curry (ouch I always forget).

[pepper]

lambskin doesn't protect against std's though, right? i mean, aside from being GROSS. eww.

condom or no, i'm sticking with spit. at least i know what's in it, ha ha!

[venetia]

Pepper - lambskin condoms? It was just an assumption as I know nothing about them except what I read on Bust though.

Hmm if I was using oil/grease for a lubricant I'd use polyurethane condoms (avanti).

[theredhead]

Yeah, I really question their "condom-compatible" claim. My bosses question it, too, to the extent that one of them wants to bring in her microscope, and do a little experiment with the lube and a condom, just to see if there are holes created that might not be visible to the naked eye. If she really does it, I'll def. let you all know the results!

[pepper]

say wot? qu'est-ce que sais this 'natural' condom? it's been a while.

[venetia]

probably the target market uses those natural condoms as well?

[pepper]

i'm not sure those things are condom friendly either. that's all kinda greasy stuff, not my thing.

[theredhead]

Some lube tastes gross; some has no flavor at all. Slippery Stuff and Better Sex Gel don't have any flavor at all, and neither has glycerin, either.

I'm a big fan of Liquid Silk, myself.

One worry I would have with the Firefly lube -- I'm not sure vaginas are very good at flushing out shea butter or cocoa butter or beeswax. I feel like those substances could easily stick around and cause nasty infections and/or internal acne. Plus, it's super expensive!

It may be the best thing since sliced bread, though -- just my two cents.

[venetia]

Only by accident (or by ignoring it, at any rate, because it tastes gross). I like olive oil for mouth.

[greenbean]

True pepper,... except when we've been boozing to the point of cotton-mouth, which was the case for me recently and was a bit frustrating. I've never tried lube in the mouth, has anyone?

[pepper]

spit.

oops, sorry. ha.
but it's true.
it works so good and it's free.

[humanist77]

Oh sorry-the link is www.fireflylubricant.com

Of course that's true that for every substance, there's someone allergic to it, but at least for me, I like that it has no glycerin (which is good for those with chronic yeasties) or preservatives or artificial ingredients. Do you have a personal favorite recommendation?

[theredhead]

Your link didn't work, humanist, but I looked up that lube ... sounds a little sketchy to me. Their emphasis seems to be on a "safe" lube, but in reality, lots of people are allergic and/or sensitive to a lot of natural ingredients, too.

Of course, it may be awesome, too -- you just never know!

[humanist77]

Has anyone tried Firefly?