[repletewithyou]

So, there's this boy. He is a very dear friend and I've known him for years and years and last summer we fell in love. He goes to school about a thousand miles away and he didn't want to try a long distance relationship. We got back together over winter break and had sex (both of our first time); he is one of the most genuine and gentle and smart and adoring people I have ever known. BUT we talked the other day and he says he "doesn't tend to think about people much when he can't see them." I think about him all the time and it makes me sad to think he doesn't think about me.

We talked tentatively about getting back together this summer. I hate it when girls care more about their guys than their guys care about them. I don't know whether he really doesn't care about me anymore or if he is just a dumb boy with a bad memory. I'll be seeing him soon and I don't know what to do.

[la_sirena]

Hi there,
I'm not new to this board, but I think my bf might read it so I'm going undercover. Thank you for reading this.

I've never really bought the excuse "I was drunk" before, for any sort of activity..but I'm afraid I've created a hypocrite of myself.

The other night I was at a huge party where I got completely blitzed. I don't drink too often, and I VERY rarely ever drink this much, but I was out of town and well, anything goes I guess. I blacked out for about 2 hours of the night-I have a few VERY vague, dark, blurry images of that period, and I have no idea what happened otherwise. I have no idea how we got home, how I got in bed, who took my shoes off-I even drunk dialed my bf at 4 a.m. and took my pill and I have no recollection of it. I know it was stupid-but as I said, I rarely do this and so I'm not quite sure what my limit is sometimes. I'm just relieved that we got home safely.

All I remember from one of those blurry images is giving some sloppy drunken chair massages, one of the guys I was giving it to was sitting on the floor between my legs, caressing them (my bare legs) VERY sensually. I remember thinking "oh god, I cannot be doing this-get up before it progresses". I want to say that I got up and walked away at that point, but the next morning, there was a large hickie on my neck. I also wish I could say that my girlfriend who I was with did it, but she swears she did not.

I know that no clothes came off. It just would've been too hard to get them off and back on-I was wearing tightish pants that could not have been removed without taking off my strappy high heels that also couldn't have come off easily-I have trouble getting them on even when I am sober. And I was wearing a tube top with a tube bra underneath, which was all fully and neatly intact the next morning. Hence, I know there was no sex- and I would've felt that the next morning for sure. And although I was completely trashed, something tells me that if anything more than a hickie had happened I would remember enough of it. I asked around the next day and no one remembered seeing anything.

So..I've come to the conclusion that this dude starting sucking on my neck and that's when I walked away (well, long enough for him to leave a mark-it wasn't that dark, just big). The more that I've thought about this, I've started to materialize a memory of me telling him "I'm sorry, I'm with someone, I have to go"-but you know how our psyche's can just make things up. But on the other hand, the fact that I know there was no sex, and no clothes came off, I feel I can safely conclude that this did happen (I am SO relieved that the guy let me go)

In the case that the hickie was still visible when I got back, I considered telling my bf that my girlfriend did it, and if the hickie was not visible, then I wouldn't say anything at all. I know he wouldn't mind if she had done it-he'd probably think it was hot.

Well I got lucky. It faded completely by the time I saw him, he didn't notice anything.

But I still feel guilty. Even though I didn't need to explain anything, or lie to him, it's the fact that I would have if I needed to. I've never lied to him-seriously. Also, this has never happened to me. Again, I've never really bought the excuse "I was drunk"-thinking that I can never be too drunk to remain faithful. But I know this isn't true now, at least as far as getting a hickie, so I take that back.

I know that no one can tell me how to feel, but I'm wondering if anyone has an opinion on this-should I be feeling guilty? Should I tell him (I really, really don't want to)? Is it really excusable that I was drunk, and apparently nothing more than a little necking occured? I had to have walked away from it, and that gives me a little comfort.

I just don't know if I should move on and let it go, or if I deserve to feel some guilt in order to get over it, or if I should do the noble thing and tell him. I would so appreciate anyone's opinion on this-thanks so much!