[repletewithyou]

So, there's this boy. He is a very dear friend and I've known him for years and years and last summer we fell in love. He goes to school about a thousand miles away and he didn't want to try a long distance relationship. We got back together over winter break and had sex (both of our first time); he is one of the most genuine and gentle and smart and adoring people I have ever known. BUT we talked the other day and he says he "doesn't tend to think about people much when he can't see them." I think about him all the time and it makes me sad to think he doesn't think about me.

We talked tentatively about getting back together this summer. I hate it when girls care more about their guys than their guys care about them. I don't know whether he really doesn't care about me anymore or if he is just a dumb boy with a bad memory. I'll be seeing him soon and I don't know what to do.

[yummymum]

Alright. I've went out on a date with this guy twice. He's a really good guy, whom I initially did not have a lot of physical attraction to. I mean, he's cute! But there may not be much chemistry or something. I thought I'd give it a try anyway, since he's very nice, professional, respectful of me, polite, and understanding that motherhood is my priority aka - I have a life outside of dating.

In addition to our two official dates, we've hung out casually with other people at a local bar a couple of times. And every time we see each other we have excellent continuous intellectual conversation. I mean, WE HAVE things to discuss. We've had similar situations in life. It all flows.

Anyway, for our third official date he has asked me to go home with him to a friend's party. It's a couple hours away. And he's made no mention of spending the night or anything, so I'll assume we will come straight back that evening. A couple of weeks ago, I was agreeable to it.
But since then, I've gotten cold feet. I mean, he calls me twice a day. I'm getting a little bit irritated by his constant hovering, in that sense. He's done some nice things for me - got me out of a speeding ticket, ordered me something from the store he owns, etc. I feel like he's trying really hard- almost too hard! HELL, we havent even kissed!!!! And really, I'm not really sure I have that physical desire.

I'm going to cut it short because I think you all can see where I'm going with this! I'm getting a little bit suffocated and need to get out of this prior committment of going up north with him. And I need to do it politely. I'm not good, in general, at breaking up or in this case- backing away. I dont want to hurt his feelings because it's obvious that he's into me. But I'm not really feeling the same urgency that he seems to be feeling. So I need to get out of it. How do I tell him that I've changed my mind about this weekend and still be polite and remain friends with him? I dont want to hurt his feelings. I'm just trying to trust my instincts here.

Geez... I'm really bad at this! He's already left me 2 voicemails and 3 emails today and it's barely lunchtime. Help!!