[repletewithyou]

So, there's this boy. He is a very dear friend and I've known him for years and years and last summer we fell in love. He goes to school about a thousand miles away and he didn't want to try a long distance relationship. We got back together over winter break and had sex (both of our first time); he is one of the most genuine and gentle and smart and adoring people I have ever known. BUT we talked the other day and he says he "doesn't tend to think about people much when he can't see them." I think about him all the time and it makes me sad to think he doesn't think about me.

We talked tentatively about getting back together this summer. I hate it when girls care more about their guys than their guys care about them. I don't know whether he really doesn't care about me anymore or if he is just a dumb boy with a bad memory. I'll be seeing him soon and I don't know what to do.

[maddy29]

Right, but Jazmyn is saying she doesn't want to have sex with someone UNTIL she is in a committed relationship with that person. All that means is that for the first month, two months, three months, whatever, of their dating, they won't be having sex. And then they'll talk, and if they decide to have a committed relationship, they'll both go get tested. I think that's beautiful, nothing wrong with that.

I don't think passion means being irresponsible-to me it was incredibly sexy that my dude went like, the next day to get tested, etc. It made it so that when we did have sex, we both felt comfortable and free, and there were no worries. Plus the waiting for results was so agonizing, cause we sooo wanted to have sex-so it just built up this awesome sexual energy.

The "bad in bed" thing is an issue, but if you've been kissing and doing whatever else safe stuff you can, you'll have some clue about his skills or whatever. I guess that's a risk you'll have to weight out-is it better to have sex with a condom to make sure he's not a dud? Your call...

And I CERTAINLY don't think it's too much to ask. I don't like the whole idea of "oh it was so hard to get guys to use condoms..." Fuck that shit. Why aren't men taking care of themselves? Why is it women that have to take care of the birth control AND have to be the responsible one. That's BULLSHIT. And sure John, "most men" can get laid by someone who doesn't have the same requirements. But I doubt Jazmyn wants to be with some asshole like that.