[repletewithyou]

So, there's this boy. He is a very dear friend and I've known him for years and years and last summer we fell in love. He goes to school about a thousand miles away and he didn't want to try a long distance relationship. We got back together over winter break and had sex (both of our first time); he is one of the most genuine and gentle and smart and adoring people I have ever known. BUT we talked the other day and he says he "doesn't tend to think about people much when he can't see them." I think about him all the time and it makes me sad to think he doesn't think about me.

We talked tentatively about getting back together this summer. I hate it when girls care more about their guys than their guys care about them. I don't know whether he really doesn't care about me anymore or if he is just a dumb boy with a bad memory. I'll be seeing him soon and I don't know what to do.

[bklynhermit]

in my opinion, this is an issue that would absolutely need to be discussed with my S.O.

for me, any porn at all is borderline deal-breaker. i realize not everybody feels that way. and i certainly don't want to get into the political aspects overmuch.

but i think that, as a participant in the relationship, yes, you do get to have input into the kind of porn your SO uses. maybe that input isn't "allow" vs. "don't allow", maybe it's just him being open about it, you being able to talk about it with him without being accused of being a nag. in order for your SO to be fully honest with you and faithful to you, i think there should be a huge degree if disclosure and discussion where this sort of thing is concerned.

also, whether 'society' condones teen porn (and barely legal, and sexy schoolgirls, etc etc) is irrelevant here. the point is that it IS borderline unethical (porn made with anyone who is really under 18 is ILLEGAL, period), and in addition it is something badcrumble thinks is inappropriate. which means that if she and her SO are to communicate well with each other, she has to be 'allowed' to bring this up with him.