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repletewithyou
post Apr 22 2006, 06:37 PM
Post #1


Newbie
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Posts: 2


So, there's this boy. He is a very dear friend and I've known him for years and years and last summer we fell in love. He goes to school about a thousand miles away and he didn't want to try a long distance relationship. We got back together over winter break and had sex (both of our first time); he is one of the most genuine and gentle and smart and adoring people I have ever known. BUT we talked the other day and he says he "doesn't tend to think about people much when he can't see them." I think about him all the time and it makes me sad to think he doesn't think about me.

We talked tentatively about getting back together this summer. I hate it when girls care more about their guys than their guys care about them. I don't know whether he really doesn't care about me anymore or if he is just a dumb boy with a bad memory. I'll be seeing him soon and I don't know what to do.
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bklynhermit
post May 10 2006, 12:57 PM
Post #2


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 436
From: Brooklyn, NY


one thing i've realized for myself is that when i am in a serious relationship, there are NO CLOSED DOORS when it comes to sex. there is ultimately no such thing as 'my sex life', it is 'our sex life', because every choice i make sexually is going to have an impact on my partner, and vice versa. including porn.

i feel that i have the right to know if my partners use porn, what they're using, how often, under what circumstances, where they're getting it, how much they have, etc. this isn't to say that i have ever interrogated anyone that way or thrown out a list of demands or anything. but if i ask, "do you watch porn?" and they get all defensive, that is a BIG red flag for me. if i know that they are into a kind of porn that really freaks me out or they use it in a way that really bothers me, and they won't discuss it with me in a rational way, the relationship probably isn't going to work out.

finding 'barely legal' porn on someone's computer would be one of those situations, especially if they refused to talk about it with me, lied about it, or refused to see my point of view about it.
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repletewithyou   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 22 2006, 06:37 PM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 22 2006, 07:28 PM
repletewithyou   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 23 2006, 07:48 AM
emtee   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 24 2006, 12:16 AM
venusindisguise   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 24 2006, 08:53 AM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 24 2006, 02:42 PM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 24 2006, 05:32 PM
cloverbee   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 28 2006, 03:04 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 28 2006, 04:11 PM
maimy   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 28 2006, 07:47 PM
cloverbee   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 28 2006, 08:54 PM
maimy   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 29 2006, 07:16 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 29 2006, 11:31 PM
cloverbee   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 29 2006, 11:44 PM
la_sirena   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 1 2006, 01:21 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 1 2006, 04:23 PM
yummymum   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 2 2006, 10:16 AM
anarch   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 2 2006, 10:41 AM
maddy29   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 2 2006, 01:17 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 2 2006, 02:37 PM
maimy   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 2 2006, 04:20 PM
john   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 05:12 AM
sybarite   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 05:42 AM
maddy29   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 09:37 AM
katiebelle2882   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 10:12 AM
maddy29   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 11:14 AM
lucizoe   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 11:43 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 11:51 AM
maddy29   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 11:55 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 12:48 PM
maddy29   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 12:54 PM
pow   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 01:09 PM
john   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 04:50 PM
maimy   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 05:41 PM
john   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 06:38 PM
maimy   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 06:52 PM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 06:55 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 4 2006, 11:36 AM
la_sirena   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 4 2006, 12:30 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 4 2006, 02:32 PM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 4 2006, 08:22 PM
maimy   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 8 2006, 08:16 PM
badcrumble   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 9 2006, 03:52 AM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 9 2006, 05:43 PM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 9 2006, 08:52 PM
bklynhermit   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 12:58 AM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 01:23 AM
venetia   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 01:36 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 09:01 AM
katiebelle2882   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 10:04 AM
bklynhermit   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 12:57 PM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 08:37 PM
venetia   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 08:55 PM
bklynhermit   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 10:25 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 11 2006, 01:01 AM
bklynhermit   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 11 2006, 10:11 AM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 11 2006, 04:50 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 11 2006, 04:52 PM
katiebelle2882   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 12 2006, 10:25 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 12 2006, 08:08 PM
bklynhermit   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 12 2006, 10:19 PM
greenbean   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 13 2006, 12:00 PM
katiebelle2882   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 13 2006, 02:03 PM
greenbean   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 13 2006, 05:23 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 16 2006, 03:37 PM
katiebelle2882   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 17 2006, 09:06 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 17 2006, 09:23 AM
katiebelle2882   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 17 2006, 09:58 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 17 2006, 10:55 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 17 2006, 01:25 PM
katiebelle2882   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 17 2006, 02:00 PM
maddy29   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 17 2006, 02:31 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 19 2006, 11:05 AM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 19 2006, 02:54 PM
saktii   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 19 2006, 04:39 PM
amilita   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 19 2006, 05:40 PM
sybarite   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 20 2006, 07:50 AM
saktii   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 20 2006, 11:23 AM
_octinoxate   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 20 2006, 05:33 PM
halcyon   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 21 2006, 03:11 AM
koala   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 21 2006, 11:57 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 21 2006, 01:49 PM
_octinoxate   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 21 2006, 02:34 PM
sweetn_low   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 22 2006, 09:39 PM
saktii   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 23 2006, 02:36 PM
saktii   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 23 2006, 02:57 PM
karma77   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 23 2006, 03:59 PM
appmtnwoman   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 23 2006, 11:25 PM
karma77   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 24 2006, 05:05 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 24 2006, 09:29 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 24 2006, 09:30 AM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 24 2006, 11:06 AM
appmtnwoman   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 24 2006, 04:56 PM
lilacwine13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 27 2006, 01:31 PM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 27 2006, 05:09 PM
venetia   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 27 2006, 07:18 PM
stillveryangry   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 27 2006, 10:44 PM
maimy   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 28 2006, 11:26 AM
maude   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 28 2006, 09:37 PM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 29 2006, 12:05 AM
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